|Single MomPage 1 of 1 |
|I am a single mom and I have a live in friend. We share the same room and bed. My daugher absoultely loves his. I just some times dont see our relationship going any further than friends. So I guess my question what should I do? Do I ask him to stay and step up or do I ask him to leave?|
Posted: 2/12/2012 8:27:38 PM
|If you share a room and a bed, he shouldn't view your question of where things are headed as coming out of left field. Your daughter will see this and kids are a lot smarter than we give them credit for so this is not just for your clarity but for hers too. Just ask him and if you both decide that you want the friendship more, then make changes in your interacts.|
I hope everything works out.
Posted: 2/12/2012 9:32:48 PM
What is he to step up?
Posted: 2/12/2012 9:33:38 PM
So I guess my question what should I do?
Ask him how he feels about you as more than a friend if you see him as more than a friend that is.
Do I ask him to stay and step up or do I ask him to leave?
None of them till you know the answer to the above. That will then give you the answer to this.
Posted: 2/13/2012 3:25:22 AM
I just some times dont see our relationship going any further than friends. So I guess my question what should I do? Do I ask him to stay and step up or do I ask him to leave?
You see him as nothing more than friends, share a bed and live your life as a couple? Why? Is he supporting the both of you as if you are a "real" family? Is he thinking that because he is sleeping in your bed that he is considered part of your family? Are you letting your little girl see life through the lens of someone who will use someone just because they don't object to it? Or mislead someone because you can't be alone? Answer those questions, I bet you will have the answers you need.
Posted: 2/13/2012 5:31:16 AM
|If your just friends, then why is he in your bed? Since you are just "friends" then that means he's probably dating others? That means that he could bolt at anytime. I wonder how old your daughter is and how this will effect her as she gets older. |
Unless I was in a commited relationship there would be no man sharing my bed with my kids at home, or even meeting him for that matter. It's confusing.
Posted: 2/13/2012 5:42:52 AM
|@msg 6 I don't think it's confusing if the "friend" stays over from time to time. Yes, if he lives there; that is a huge imposition on the child. If you re-marry, it is a huge imposition on the child. IMHO. Stay single, have "friends", enjoy what you can, when you can and most important : Take care of that little girl!!!!!!!!|
Posted: 2/13/2012 8:18:06 AM
|Well, since your other post complaining about him had to do with him constantly texting and visiting other women and you don't like it even though you said something like "We both agree that we are more than friends" you two obviously haven't even defined what your relationship is. If you aren't getting your emotional needs met by this guy quit bouncing on his pole and pretending you are a loving couple. Solely based on your side of this all you are is room and board and a piece of a$$. He's screwing you and Lord knows who else because as you put it "We are friends" You put yourself into this arrangement probably because you didn't want to be alone and it's not working out how you pictured it. Now you want to whine about it to the whole world. All I can say is pi$$ or get off the pot, do something to improve your situation or move on. He's not going to change and has no reason to. The person I feel bad for is your kid but you put yourself ahead of her didn't you? My guess is you'll keep doing it too.|
Posted: 2/13/2012 11:32:50 AM
|You beat me to it Jim! |
Posted: 2/13/2012 11:46:21 AM
|My 2nd time applauding Jimbo |
Posted: 2/13/2012 1:01:10 PM
|Jim said it all!!!!|
Posted: 2/13/2012 5:25:37 PM
|I guees you are slowly figuring out why he got kicked out of his last residence.|
Posted: 2/13/2012 10:56:31 PM
|Hey single mom, you're a mom FIRST!|
If you're sharing the bedroom and the bed you are teaching your baby that its ok to share yourself with a halfassed definition of a relationship. Have some self respect and more importantly, have respect for your kid(s) and their upbringing.
Quit kicking the shit down the road and sit this guy down.
Is he sharing bills? Is he accountable for his time? Does he take care of you (not just in bed), does he show healthy affection for you and your kids? Does he have a job? Is he responsible?
I could go on and on ... Get busy defining things with this guy.
Posted: 2/17/2012 11:18:24 AM
|Just Leave or are you that STUPID|
Posted: 2/17/2012 3:36:46 PM
|Get rid of him before your child becomes attached to him.|
Posted: 2/18/2012 2:52:25 AM
|Jim nailed it.....|
Posted: 2/18/2012 10:20:40 AM
|As a man that have learned a bit after dating....I can say we men are afraid of attachment,,,meanwhile within we want a loving relations that is true,,,,I would say start treating him like gold,,,hopefully he will follow suite,,,,,us positive affirmations to keep feeling good of self....I pray he will be open to your soul,,,,you can also communicate with his spiritual guides to take out anything that is blocking the beautiful energy between both of you,,,we all have guides...You also have to be mindful of kids,,,they are watching with close eyes, so every move you make will ripple in there lives,,,,My question,,,,What is your true happiness? Living in uncertainty or being the best parent and getting the right man to role model for your kids,,,,I hope some of this will help you....|
Posted: 2/26/2012 12:06:02 PM
|Jim nailed it!!!!|
But i have to say are you NUTS??!!!
Who cares if your kids loves this guy, your showing a bad example to your kid...Get this guy out of your bed and Be a good mother and lead by example...
Dont lead by:....Do as I say not as I do!!! No wonder why our kids today get into trouble.....bad example by their parents....GEEEZ!!
I feel sorry for your kid..
Posted: 2/26/2012 8:37:18 PM
|Yeah - a little blurry there jbuettner.|
Need a definition of what you're calling "friends".