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 boldlyshy44
Joined: 3/10/2010
Msg: 1
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what do people think is a reasonable age gap in a relationshipPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Hi

I am seperated and have hit 50, feel 40 but the calander doesnt lie .
I am fit , slim and can easily pass for mid forties.
Just wondered how young a women I could releastically date?
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 2
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what do people think is a reasonable age gap in a relationship
Posted: 2/19/2012 6:14:15 AM
Some people use the rule of dividing your age in half , then adding 7... to curtail the creep factor.. ( as the lower limit age)
but that does not work for some........ because if you base things on more than sex, such as mutual goals and level of maturity, that calculation will not work.

Everyones reasonable limits are going to vary.. for me 7 down and 10 up as all possibilities depending on the person... ( no longer looking)
That age thing is not the end all as there is so much more to consider... lots of overweight, bad looking younger people.
After age 35, people age at different rates. I have seen very handsome/ fit 65 and 70 year old men.
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 3
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what do people think is a reasonable age gap in a relationship
Posted: 2/19/2012 6:16:50 AM
I think I read somewhere that the most successful age gap was where the woman was 5 years younger although I have no idea how many couples they looked at to compile the study

But I have to admit that where I've been older by between 3 and 8 years has tended to be the better relationships I've had so maybe theres some truth in it
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 4
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what do people think is a reasonable age gap in a relationship
Posted: 2/19/2012 6:22:56 AM
I'm 43, involved with a 27 yo.

Date who you are attracted to.. there aren't many rules beyond the "don't date underage".. make sure they are legal. Have fun!!
 Buckets_of_Sky
Joined: 2/7/2010
Msg: 5
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what do people think is a reasonable age gap in a relationship
Posted: 2/19/2012 6:29:21 AM
So you are over 21 and free to make your own choices, so date as young as you think you can, if that is truly what you want, but that has always been your option, and you don't need our permission.

You have been with your body all this time and are still on a dating site, so unless you are leaving something out perhaps you aren't all that and a bag of chips and you do look and act close to your age. Funny thing that.

Hint, make sure that they are not considered a minor in your state - parents and the authorities take a dim view of that.
 Luke_Mason
Joined: 9/16/2011
Msg: 6
what do people think is a reasonable age gap in a relationship
Posted: 2/19/2012 6:33:09 AM
Some might find a better criterion is maturity, character and intelligence, I'd be wary of anyone's warped idea that dividing numbers leans any reasonableness to choosing a suitable partner.
 motown_cowgirl
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 7
what do people think is a reasonable age gap in a relationship
Posted: 2/19/2012 6:37:44 AM
If you have already decided that you just gotta have a 20-something as a way of reinforcing your own ideas about how desirable you still are at your age, then you will find a way to make a 20+ year age difference seem eminently reasonable to you. That's because proving something to yourself and the world at large just became more important than the age difference or even the relationship itself, and scoring a relationship with somebody young enough to be your own child is merely a means of accomplishing the proof you hope to achieve and the perceptions you want to maintain. Othwerwise why would you take the time to point out you only look 15+ years older than your intended target when you are actually 20+ years older??? I'll go way out on a limb here and say I don't think you were planning on scoping out the church basement on bingo night for women 15+ years older than yourself.

So numbers and the perceptions thereof are obviously very important to you. Congratulations on your desire to use somebody else to maintain the facade. Now if you can find a woman who has complimentary motivations, then you can stop asking for others' opinions about reasonable differences in age. How much money do you have??? Red Porsche?

Meanwhile I can think of 20+ reasons why that would be of zero interest to me, personally.

So what is "realistic"? Ultimately, whatever doesn't get you convicted for pedophilia or statutory rape. Why do you ask????

This concludes your free intial consultation. The psychiatrist is in.
 boldlyshy44
Joined: 3/10/2010
Msg: 8
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what do people think is a reasonable age gap in a relationship
Posted: 2/19/2012 7:03:36 AM
I was curious to see what peoples opinions were.
Most women seem to search up to 10 years older, so I figured that realistically that was what the norm was.
Persoanally , I am looking for younger , on the assumption that thier sex drive will last longer .....
 avalon_moon
Joined: 4/2/2011
Msg: 9
what do people think is a reasonable age gap in a relationship
Posted: 2/19/2012 7:12:36 AM

Most women seem to search up to 10 years older,


No, they don't. Some do.


Persoanally , I am looking for younger , on the assumption that thier sex drive will last longer ...


So just another thinly disguised older women bashing thread. Just what we need.

Why not post a pic? Then we can all tell you if you do look as young as you think you do?
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 10
what do people think is a reasonable age gap in a relationship
Posted: 2/19/2012 7:18:15 AM
First your separated.

Fix that.

Second ... why does age have to be an issue.

Find someone who is emotionally/mentally compatible, no matter what the age.

You're a big boy now.

You can do it.
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 11
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what do people think is a reasonable age gap in a relationship
Posted: 2/19/2012 7:25:18 AM
Dating? Doesn't matter - whoever will date you.

Serious relationship? Same applies, but best results seem to occur when the difference is no more than 10 years. I've seen 30 years difference work, though.
 boldlyshy44
Joined: 3/10/2010
Msg: 12
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what do people think is a reasonable age gap in a relationship
Posted: 2/19/2012 7:38:00 AM
I wasnt bashing older women !
 avalon_moon
Joined: 4/2/2011
Msg: 13
what do people think is a reasonable age gap in a relationship
Posted: 2/19/2012 7:40:51 AM

I wasnt bashing older women !


Ok. It was just the comment about younger women's sex drives lasting longer, implies older women don't have them...
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 14
what do people think is a reasonable age gap in a relationship
Posted: 2/19/2012 7:56:10 AM
Good grief ... another delusional, middle-aged crazy with no picture telling us how great he looks wondering if it's OK he hangs out at the local high school to get a date.

First, you're separated. You don't need to be dating at all. You're doing both of you an injustice. Second, I've never seen anyone who thinks they could pass for someone ten years younger who actually looks that young. So for your own sake, put down the magic mirror.

I can tell from your post that you're not interested in anyone your own age, so just try asking out someone you think is hot enough for you. And then report back to us when she shoots you down.

Sorry. I just get sick of these "I look 10 years younger" posts ... because you don't. Trust me ...
 Ashburnguy99
Joined: 1/16/2012
Msg: 15
what do people think is a reasonable age gap in a relationship
Posted: 2/19/2012 8:15:50 AM

Sorry. I just get sick of these "I look 10 years younger" posts ... because you don't. Trust me

So funny. I came across a profile recently where the woman was 47 and she said she looked "much" younger. Based on her photos, she looked "much" older to me.

You have to wonder what people see when they look in the mirror.
 SerendipityHappens
Joined: 1/24/2012
Msg: 16
what do people think is a reasonable age gap in a relationship
Posted: 2/19/2012 8:26:24 AM

You have to wonder what people see when they look in the mirror.


I once had a date with a man who was 54 who was claiming to be 43. He was attractive and looked great for mid 50s but you could STILL TELL he was in his mid 50s. Just because you look GOOD does not mean you look YOUNG.

Anyway...
The older you are the wider the acceptable gap. My mother is 56 and is in a relationship with a guy I went to high school with. Weird at first but meh, whatever. Personally I'd go as low as 30 and as high as 55 but my preference is for a man +/- five or so years of my age.

I don't find age differences creepy unless the age of the other person is viewed as some sort of trophy which I suspect could possibly be the motives of the OP.

 Buckets_of_Sky
Joined: 2/7/2010
Msg: 17
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what do people think is a reasonable age gap in a relationship
Posted: 2/19/2012 8:34:33 AM

I am looking for younger , on the assumption that thier sex drive will last longer .....



The sex drive is not predicated on the age of a person. A bit more research may be in order; I think you will find your theory somewhat flawed.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 18
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what do people think is a reasonable age gap in a relationship
Posted: 2/19/2012 8:37:42 AM
For a LTR I think about 33 years it will get unmanageable.

If you are only dating, as long as it's legal then do whatever strikes your fancy, tell everyone else to bugger off.

If people are lying about their age, then you have to factor in do you really want to date someone that insecure and deceptive? I wouldn't, just ask for ID if you don't believe them.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 19
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what do people think is a reasonable age gap in a relationship
Posted: 2/19/2012 8:47:51 AM
Two things are against you. One, most women don't want to date someone who's separated. You can't blame them on that one. But it's good they know up front, so you know who's OK with it. Maybe date separated women, so you have common ground.

Two, your age vs. your perceived age is relative, and not for you to say - just like "I'm funny, I'm nice, I'm attractive", etc. It's totally on each person you meet to decide that. Telling people makes you come off as needing to explain this to people you don't trust to figure out on their own. You may hope someone sees you as younger than you are, but beyond that it's on them to make the choice.

You may want to find women who look younger than they are, too - people you feel are in your situation - they may get you more easily.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 20
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what do people think is a reasonable age gap in a relationship
Posted: 2/19/2012 9:01:43 AM
I agree.....Saying you look younger is like saying you are average in weight, which can run from being truly average to those that think a size 14 to 16 is average, because all of your friends are that size, to men that wear pants with 38 to 40 inch waists as average, because their buddies all have pot bellies.......

What is reality for you, may not be for others, so let them decide if you are looking younger, or are in decent shape, on and on and on. As long as they find you attractive, what difference does it make, unless you are trying to prove how young you can go, or how old you can go, and that is a totally different reality discussion.

cd........
 seventiesbaby2
Joined: 2/9/2012
Msg: 21
what do people think is a reasonable age gap in a relationship
Posted: 2/19/2012 9:04:14 AM
I prefure younger guys then me .. and most woman I know wouldnt date soneone 10 yrs older.. they couldnt keep up with them sexually or in stamina often plus young guys look better so most woman i know naturally attracted to a more youthful look. Being that said I have seen some very good looking 60 yr old men so this is not always the case. My advice is date who ever you can get who you are happy with at any age just dont lie about your age and make yourself younger. On here men cut at least 10 yrs off there age and its so obvious. I dont want to date a man 20 yrs older than me ( who is lying) who looks like he could be my father or grandfather. Plus why dont you have a picture up? Thats strange... good luck I swee your profile says 46... why are you lying thats insane... you think any woman when they find out your lyer will stay with you.. all men say they look younger and most dont ... lies lies lies
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 22
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what do people think is a reasonable age gap in a relationship
Posted: 2/19/2012 9:04:37 AM

I am looking for younger , on the assumption that thier sex drive will last longer .....


Date who you want, but I think that's a flawed assumption.

I've dated younger, older, and same age, and if anything I find a greater sex drive in older women, or at least a more healthy approach to it. That's from a pretty limited sample, but in my experience the best sex happens when both of us are completely comfortable with our own sexuality and some people take years to get to that point. Some never do. Not many get there and then digress, so odds seem better with older women.

And I could be wrong, but it seems like I've seen statistics that would indicate you're more likely to lose your sex drive before a woman your age will.

But statistics and odds aren't who we date. We date people, and all we can do is find the best match for ourselves, which in my experience is better accomplished by judging any prospective mate on her personal merits, not whatever stereotypical category others might place her in.
 WinstonDoubtfire
Joined: 7/29/2009
Msg: 23
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what do people think is a reasonable age gap in a relationship
Posted: 2/19/2012 9:08:54 AM
Reasonable? As long as you have things in common, can hold regular conversations and there is a mutual attraction...who's to judge? Our society (in the states) has placed these ridiculous constraints on what we judge to be considered a healthy, normal relationship...'tis silly in my opinion. (as long it's legal) I've dated gals 10 years younger to 10 years older than me, and I always thought it was reasonable. Would I date younger than 25? Probably not...unless we're like two peas in a pod...which I've found isn't t always the case.
 soo-girl
Joined: 10/22/2011
Msg: 24
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what do people think is a reasonable age gap in a relationship
Posted: 2/19/2012 9:09:28 AM
I am 46 and I tend to lean toward men who are in their early to mid-fifties. I have never been very interested in younger men or those who are my age. Freud would say that's because I was raised by my dad who was an older man when I was born.

Of course, age preferences are a relative thing. Everyone has their own likes and dislikes.
 ixtlan09
Joined: 12/12/2010
Msg: 25
what do people think is a reasonable age gap in a relationship
Posted: 2/19/2012 9:14:55 AM
It differs from culture to culture and time to time. Jewish law allowed for the taking of a bride when she was age three. I would argue under any circumstances that is simply obscene.
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