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 Becoming_Me
Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 1
Is Sex Taboo?Page 1 of 1    
Why is it sex seems to be such a taboo subject in the US? Why does it seem that most people are lacking in sexual communication, that we cannot tell our lovers about what we really want or need? Is it because of our Puritan roots are we just unable to get away from an idea that sex is a sin or dirty some how? Or maybe I’m just hanging around the wrong kind of people. What do you think?
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 2
Is Sex Taboo?
Posted: 2/25/2012 11:45:33 PM
likely cuz we were a nation built by puritanical christians...



its a cultural societal thing...
 lovelikewinter
Joined: 9/24/2011
Msg: 3
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Is Sex Taboo?
Posted: 2/26/2012 12:13:10 AM
I think it is just certain areas or people. If you go to NYC, you have billboards for lingerie, sex "museums" and strip clubs all over the place. Not to mention the naked cowgirl and cowboy. From what I see the nation overall sees nothing wrong with sex considering how many KY, ED, and other sex related television and movie items there are.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 4
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Is Sex Taboo?
Posted: 2/26/2012 12:28:10 AM
I'm here in the bible belt of the USA...

so I can't really say or discuss any of this.
 Robert122077
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 5
Is Sex Taboo?
Posted: 2/26/2012 12:30:50 AM
You're on the right track. The late Christopher Hitchens was right: religion poisons everything.
 BeeRad82
Joined: 1/27/2012
Msg: 6
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Posted: 2/26/2012 1:13:10 AM
I actually don't mind the average American attitude towards sex. Makes it easier to separate the mouth breathers from the "enlightened".
 114M3
Joined: 4/19/2011
Msg: 7
Is Sex Taboo?
Posted: 2/26/2012 1:53:11 AM
"Taboo" in terms of .....? I think it really depends from what angle you're looking from... I mean if you go to certain cultures in Asia, they see the US as having a culture of "free sex" meaning: sex is viewed as a casual/recreational activity and given "freely". For example PDA (Public Displays of Affection) is highly frowned upon in many cultures in Asia -- whereas in the US and other western cultures, hell, I have seen couples who were just short of performing coitus in public.

Yes, perhaps the term "free sex" is a broad stereotype but trust me, I have heard of this term/ p.o.v. from lots of folks whose culture is outside of the USA.


As for "lacking in sexual communication" I can't speak for others but I myself have had no issues communicating what I like and don't like with my partner. .... I mean if you are close enough to not be embarrassed being butt naked in front of one another, let alone willing to have e/o's teeny bits in your mouths .... why would you be embarrassed or hold back communicating your physical wants/needs? ....... Perhaps the issue is not sex itself but just plain ol communication issues.

.... then again it could be because my roots are not "Puritan" ..... :P
 darthbanker
Joined: 2/14/2012
Msg: 8
Is Sex Taboo?
Posted: 2/26/2012 5:26:03 AM

Why is it sex seems to be such a taboo subject in the US?

It's kind of relative isn't it?
I mean I can't bring my big box of porn to Iraq without some consequences.


Why does it seem that most people are lacking in sexual communication, that we cannot tell our lovers about what we really want or need?

If people could tell their lovers or partners about what they really want or need there would be no psychiatrists, sociologists, forums, bartenders...
Why do you want to hurt the U.S. economy? Uh-oh, you're on the FBI's list now.


Is it because of our Puritan roots are we just unable to get away from an idea that sex is a sin or dirty some how?

Yes.
But I'd also say it has just as much to do with so many different cultures clashing.
Because there are so many different cultures, what is seen as important in a culture is going to be defended more fiercely to protect identity.
So IMO it's because of "puritanical" roots, but diversity is just as responsible.
It's in how they interact why things become so much more taboo than they "should" be.
There's greater pressure to make it more vocal and known.


Or maybe I’m just hanging around the wrong kind of people. What do you think?

You're here, so I'd say that's a good bet.
 CptIronJack
Joined: 3/13/2009
Msg: 9
Is Sex Taboo?
Posted: 2/26/2012 5:36:00 AM
I find it comical that I'll break the sex subject easily with women complaining about guys all they want to talk is sex, yet I can do it and not be offensive simply because I never treat sex like a dirty subject
 motown_cowgirl
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 10
Is Sex Taboo?
Posted: 2/26/2012 6:20:16 AM
Your question is a little lacking for context, OP. Sex or the suggestion thereof is everywhere here.


Why does it seem that most people are lacking in sexual communication, that we cannot tell our lovers about what we really want or need?

That's evidence of an underlying emotional problem (also quite common), otherwise people would feel no qualms about saying what they want/need. You don't see people choking up in a restaurant when the waitress asks them what kind of pie they want for dessert, do ya? I mean the only time they're really not willing to say is because they want one of each.


Is it because of our Puritan roots are we just unable to get away from an idea that sex is a sin or dirty some how?

I think it's a little late to be blaming the Puritans for one's personal problems at this point, but that's just me.


Or maybe I’m just hanging around the wrong kind of people. What do you think?

It depends on why you think you might be hanging around the wrong people. Is it because you have a lover who won't tell you what he wants, or is it because you insist on bringing up the topic of nipple clamps at every dinner conversation?
 onceagain57
Joined: 11/25/2011
Msg: 11
Is Sex Taboo?
Posted: 2/26/2012 6:45:44 AM
Wouldnt say its that taboo...just came from the state of Penna and they have billboards advertising massages...really dont think their talking a back rub!....lol....Ive always talked about relations to anyone Ive dated....never got slapped but always used respect as i would hope they would!
 ajgdptwm
Joined: 1/29/2012
Msg: 12
Is Sex Taboo?
Posted: 2/26/2012 9:17:46 AM
It's not taboo..................haven't you seen the porn industry in this country.It's everywhere and sex symbols everywhere.
 Queeny784
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 13
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Is Sex Taboo?
Posted: 2/26/2012 4:36:47 PM
Oh I know I might get a bashing from saying this, but with a majority of our population in North America being Christian, are you really surprised? I went to a Catholic school, sex was made out to be pretty evil, we learnt very little about how to be safe. Abstinence is Key! Sign your promise!Did you know the Catholic school board actually banned the HPV vaccine because aside from helping to protect against cervical cancer, it also randomly protects against 2 strands of genital warts, and they thought this would encourage promiscuity in young women?? I wanted to punch a few people out when that happened.. I'm with you on this one, I have a very different view on sex and relationships. Many people I talk to I would categorize as a prude, simply because they get all embarassed when I mention anything about sex or experiences. Sex is sex, it can have many different emotional meanings, and to be frank, every species on this planet has sex in some shape or form. There are way more pros to sex then cons, and if there wasn't such a problem with STD's (sorry, STI's now) I'd say sex should be promoted more. I'll say one thing for sure, sex is the best cure for a headache, and really perks me up when I'm feeling sluggish or wanting a good workout lol.
 Queeny784
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 14
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Is Sex Taboo?
Posted: 2/26/2012 4:37:49 PM
Christopher Hutchens, brilliant man :D
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 15
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Is Sex Taboo?
Posted: 2/27/2012 7:00:56 AM

Why is it sex seems to be such a taboo subject in the US?

Sex isn't taboo. We all know we are all doing it or want to do it.


Why does it seem that most people are lacking in sexual communication, that we cannot tell our lovers about what we really want or need?

Because this isn't modelled adequately for us. How many of us had a conversation about sex with our parents? I know I did, my parents have a very liberal attitude about sex and were open to discussing things with me. You don't see couples discussing sex in movies, tv shows, or porn. They certainly don't discuss their needs in any of the bodice rippers I've read.


Is it because of our Puritan roots are we just unable to get away from an idea that sex is a sin or dirty some how?

Perhaps it's more about "ostrich syndrome" than being of Puritanical roots. It's easier to ignore a problem than it is to address it. Also many women have a hard time asking for things they need because they are usually supressing that and taking care of others needs first.

Yes.. some consider sex to be dirty or sinful. I really, truly think they might be the minority though.


Or maybe I’m just hanging around the wrong kind of people. What do you think?

Perhaps. Only you can really answer this since none of us are hanging around the same people you are. My group of peers has no issue discussing sex, issues pertaining to sex, and sexuality in general. Then again, they aren't the average demographic.

My brother gets weirded out discussing sex, or even acknowledging the fact our parents have sex. He isn't particularly religious (agnostic bordering on atheist), married a Catholic girl... *shrugs* We were raised by the same set of parents, so not sure where his attitude comes from.


I know a lot of people that will complain about their sex lives not being what they want. I try not to do that. My partner and I tend to disect things, sharing what worked, or what doesn't. But then we don't have a problem speaking up in the bedroom and saying if something isn't working for us either.
 GASailor
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 16
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Posted: 2/28/2012 7:05:05 AM
I would hazard a guess that the vast majority of people on POF feel that sex is an important part of a relationship yet I find it odd that even the most oblique reference to it on a profile runs the risk of being labeled by many as some sort of pervert.
 BountyHunterMike
Joined: 10/5/2011
Msg: 17
Is Sex Taboo?
Posted: 2/28/2012 7:41:52 AM
Who Cares!!! If you like sex, enjoy yourself...if you want to base your sex life after your morals or religion, good for you. Live your life the way you want...if u want a life of fetishes or what ever go for it. I think people should grow up and live their life the way they want...as long as you dont harm or hurt anyone....

as for the comment, (religion poisons everything.) Your so wrong for this statement...but you have a right for your view.
 smokincigars
Joined: 3/25/2010
Msg: 18
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Posted: 2/28/2012 4:56:21 PM
Here's a quotation (from Robert A. Heinlein, I think) for you to consider: "Sacred cows make the best hamburger."

Yes, there are still strong taboos in some places against premarital, promiscuous, gay/lesbian and almost all other forms of sex outside of marriage; and even within marriage, against most "unusual" sexual practices. in some places. But as long as it isn't actually illegal, "spicy" sex can liven up a relationship.

Just remember to keep the shades closed and be very quiet in places like Iran, where "scandalous" behavior can result in rather drastic consequences. Or in your parents' home. And ... well, you probably shouldn't do anything at your grandmother's house.
 CharityTrue
Joined: 11/15/2011
Msg: 19
Is Sex Taboo?
Posted: 2/29/2012 7:26:53 AM
I think there is a real fear of truth; which colours a lot of attitudes towards sex and everything else... Most people are prepared to live life on 2 or more levels, truthful reality and a mutually agreed deception... Families do it, schools do it, communities and nations do it... People know the truth but refuse to acknowledge it.... It happens throughout all society so of course it affects sexual attitudes like all other attitudes...
Al i can say is strive for authenticity in everything, and be prepared for loneliness...
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 20
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Posted: 2/29/2012 11:14:25 AM
Sex taboo in the usa???
I think not!!
one of the highest rates of cheating(both sexes) in the world
by far the world largest consumer and manufacturer of porn
the number one consumer of the sex trade
as for puritan morals
arranging marriages for girls at the age of 11 or 12
only a very small number of americans where originally Puritans
most where slave owning and raping, protestants
also most of the white population( original settlers), ended up, as endentured slaves,or where , criminals that where emptied out of England's jails
this was the fact for the first century of English colonizing,the vast majority of settlers where the unwanted!
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