| | Basic Human TouchPage 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | Warning: Religious people will find this posting offensive, but for the interest of free speech, please do not delete this thread.
Okay, so getting right to it, here are the questions.
Monkeys/Apes/Evolution>>>> has taught us that touch brings us closer together, do single people yearn for that basic human touch? How do you quench that desire of skin to skin contact when you do not have a partner? As someone who only looks for hook-ups/one night stands........where is your outlet for touch the rest of the time? Family/Friends?
When was the last time you had a hug or a kiss on the neck?
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| Basic Human Touch
Posted: 2/26/2012 1:14:05 AM | Pets are great for singles, maybe not a human touch but a fuzzy loyal friend who gives unconditional love.
Plenty of people go long periods of time without human touch... thinking of nuns.... I do not think it's a absolute NEED to be touched and kissed by another person to live a happy life. Plenty of people are married for decades and never touch each other.
Humans are very conditional with love and touch does not mean love.
Sometimes when a person is single for a long time they yearn for something that the thought of is actually better then the actuality of it...... its idealized and not based upon reality.
The hug and touch aspect I feel is needed as a requirement for growth and health for infants and small children, not adults. | |
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| Basic Human Touch
Posted: 2/26/2012 1:21:49 AM | I know *I* couldn't survive without The Human Touch.
I need it.
I crave it.
I want it 
I always greet my friends with a hug and they'd think there was something wrong with me if i didn't.
Some people are naturally tactile and affectionate though i would NEVER presume to be overly touchy feely with someone i dont know.
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| Basic Human Touch
Posted: 2/26/2012 2:31:00 AM | | I know I do. I miss having someone sleeping next to me, hugs and cuddles. | |
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| Basic Human Touch
Posted: 2/26/2012 4:33:58 AM | | Not really sure why you think a religious person would find that question offensive beyond the reference to evolution. Not even sure it's evolution that has taught us this but instead basic human and animal study. As far as how your desire for it becomes quenched? That going to vary from single person to single person but one night stands and FWB will probably be the most common reply. However many will say that they can get plenty of hugs from friends, family, and yes even at church. Might not be skin on skin but it is human contact. | |
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| Basic Human Touch
Posted: 2/26/2012 4:37:31 AM | I wouldn't say that I yearn for touch while I'm single, but I certainly realize what I've been missing once I feel it again.
Pets are great for singles, maybe not a human touch but a fuzzy loyal friend who gives unconditional love.
My dog demands touch, especially when I first walk in the door. Ah-roooo!!! 
Plenty of people go long periods of time without human touch... thinking of nuns.... I do not think it's a absolute NEED to be touched and kissed by another person to live a happy life
If society creates a belief for you, you'll be happy following the "accepted" behavior.
When was the last time you had a hug or a kiss on the neck?
Last night!! Bout six hours ago. :D
Monkeys/Apes/Evolution (just to note) There are lots of consistencies in nature. I don't think apes compare to our ancestors as much as lemurs do - and lemurs are much cuter. :)
http://www.animalfactguide.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/lemur_01.jpg | |
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| Basic Human Touch
Posted: 2/26/2012 6:22:15 AM | I don't find it to be a need at all. Glad it isn't, I haven't had a meaningful hug, or a kiss of any kind in many years. If they were needs, I would have died long ago.
Touch can be a hunger, I suppose, though I have found in my own case, that the magic of it is thoroughly tied to the emotional and mindful content that it carries. In other words, when someone claims to me that they had a meaningless fling, or went to a prostitute (which includes males and females, as far as I'm concerned), because they had this irresistible hunger or need for Human Touch, my response is invariably the same:
Bachelor of Sciences. Porcine Saliva. Balderdash.
I'm not saying it isn't among the most wonderful reasons to stay on this planet. Just that one night stands and even the most affectionate pets in the world wont supply it. Even a genuine loving hug from a close relative, doesn't feed the hunger for the taste of a true lover. | |
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| Basic Human Touch
Posted: 2/26/2012 6:29:15 AM |
do single people yearn for that basic human touch? How do you quench that desire of skin to skin contact when you do not have a partner?
Haven't you heard of cuddle buddies? Cuddle parties? FWB? FB? Have you ever had a "friend" that was a little more huggy at times than others? You ever see someone rub their chin? Run their hand over their face or through their hair? Put their hand on the back of their head or neck when nervous? Hug themselves when cold? Pull their ear lobe? Play with their lip? Scratch absently?
As someone who only looks for hook-ups/one night stands........where is your outlet for touch the rest of the time? Family/Friends?
You understand it's not a constant? Plus there are social rules involved?
So it's kind of like a camel? Get it via the hookups one night stands, then go about your life, and do it again?
When was the last time you had a hug or a kiss on the neck?
Why? Are you offering? | |
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| Basic Human Touch
Posted: 2/26/2012 6:51:34 AM | I wouldn't say that I yearn for touch while I'm single, but I certainly realize what I've been missing once I feel it again.
I agree with this. Maybe I am luckier then many in the sense that I have good friends and we normally greet each other with a hug - male and female. I'm not what I would describe as a 'touchy feel-y type with people I know more as little more then an acquaintance but those who become extended family, I do tend to hug as a greeting. It is a human touch but not in any sense intimate but it is contact all the same. I also work with children so there are many times during the day when there is a small child in my arms. Plus teenagers in the house who do still give their old Mum a hug and kiss as they head off to bed each night.
When was the last time you had a hug or a kiss on the neck?
After thinking really hard about this one, my answer is, 'I have no idea'. Going to guess it was sometime around 2002. | |
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| Basic Human Touch
Posted: 2/26/2012 7:49:38 AM | Not to sure why Religious people would find this offensive....anyway....
There are many ways to feel compete without having another human being touching, etc. Sure, I think anyone would like it or might miss it, but it is not what keeps us living, breathing and functioning.
Do I miss that with someone ? Yes. But not enough to be with just anyone. Some can do it, some cannot. There is your answer for the FWB types. More power to them. I cannot even sit and have coffee with a man I know I am not sexually or mentally interested in.
My dog keeps me busy. I have a 10 month old Weimareiner who shares my Apartment. We go for walks, he eats, he plays with his toys and sits on the sofa with me while I laugh at the Forums or watch the news. He sleeps on my bed. He hears noises and lets me know. He growels at anyone who comes near the Apartment, God help anyone who tries to get in the truck. So, that alone is better than any man I have met so far.
Intimacy? Yeah, I miss it. However, again it is not necessary. It will come along again or it will not. Right person right time, that is what it is all about. | |
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| Basic Human Touch
Posted: 2/26/2012 9:49:52 AM |
How do you quench that desire of skin to skin contact when you do not have a partner?
I would get a professional massage or, as Billy Idol said, by "Dancing with my self."
"Dancing with my self" is not meant to be a metaphor for masturbation, as I always construed.
I mean a purely sensual, non-sexual touch--meditating on a focal point--enjoying the contact with warmth, shape and softness as both the giver and receiver.
It works in the manner of being your own best friend...uh, with benefits, I suppose.
As someone who only looks for hook-ups
I was never strictly a NSA dater. I did, however, maintain FWBs with several exes.
That also took the edge off of that yearning as it was someone familiar and comforting.
the last time you had a hug
My SO is a great hugger. He gives them daily. | |
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| Basic Human Touch
Posted: 2/26/2012 10:00:32 AM | | My former dance instructor required everyone to switch partners during the lessons whether single, partnered, or married because he believed human touch was so important. It was also important for the bonding of the entire class, because being supportive toward one another made learning easier and less stressful. | |
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| Basic Human Touch
Posted: 2/26/2012 10:01:08 AM | | Touch is nice, but I live a happy life w/out it, & I have been celebate for a long time. I have my kids,cats & dog. They give me all of the love, support & companionship I need. I get the occasional hug from my daughter, & my daily hug from my son. It's also a proven scientific fact that petting an animal reduces your blood pressure. I can go out & get sex anywhere, anytime. But it's meaningless to me w/out the emotional connection that a committed loving exclusive relationship brings. | |
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| Basic Human Touch
Posted: 2/26/2012 11:30:00 AM |
I don't find it to be a need at all. Glad it isn't, I haven't had a meaningful hug, or a kiss of any kind in many years. If they were needs, I would have died long ago.
Touch can be a hunger, I suppose, though I have found in my own case, that the magic of it is thoroughly tied to the emotional and mindful content that it carries. In other words, when someone claims to me that they had a meaningless fling, or went to a prostitute (which includes males and females, as far as I'm concerned), because they had this irresistible hunger or need for Human Touch, my response is invariably the same:
Bachelor of Sciences. Porcine Saliva. Balderdash.
I agree with all of this. It's a perceived need for those who are used to it and feel deprived of it, while a lot of us aren't feeling that way about it at all. I think it's a good way to bond within the context of certain relationships you nurture rather than an overall thing. | |
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| Basic Human Touch
Posted: 2/26/2012 12:54:20 PM | I agree, one night stands are a great way to quench the desire for touch for single people...
For me..I don't qench that thurst as the environment I live in is very unhealthy in that respect. No family and few friends. When I do visit home though, I find it hard to be affectionate. Environment effects you.
I must admit though..I LOVE the feel of skin on my skin. It just takes me a little longer to warm up to people these day.
I get hugs from my few friends here and a kiss on the neck? it's been far too long. | |
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| Basic Human Touch
Posted: 2/26/2012 5:21:39 PM | | I get hugs from my kids and grandkids, and I hug many of my friends too. I can't really recall a time when I felt starving for that sort of attention. But I do agree that it is a human need. It doesn't have to be satiated romantically though. | |
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| Basic Human Touch
Posted: 2/26/2012 5:26:12 PM |
I'm a major toucher ! Luckily - my cats help that urge on a daily basis.
I hug people I like , whenever the opportunity arises. And not those skimpy partial contact hugs either - but a full body squish !
Fortunately , I tend to hang around a lot of artists/actors/musicians , that aren't shy about touch, and give it right back - and then some !
As for a kiss on the neck ... well, it's been awhile ... I'd sure like one ! ! Boy - would I. | |
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| Basic Human Touch
Posted: 2/26/2012 5:53:45 PM | I want it..I yearn it..I long for it... I crave it..
I dont trust it! for fear of the pain that comes with it!! | |
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| Basic Human Touch
Posted: 2/26/2012 6:06:15 PM |
It doesn't have to be satiated romantically though.
Agreed. It absolutely does not. It is a general human need for comfort and support. Thinking it only comes from a lover or SO isn't accurate - but it's a good excuse to go after a relationship and try to force a connection - and many fall into that pattern.
I would personally rather get hugs from my kids and grandkids than let some stranger touch me.. far less complicated and imo waaay more gratifying.
You and me both. | |
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| Basic Human Touch
Posted: 2/26/2012 6:13:09 PM | | ^^ I would personally rather get hugs from my kids and grandkids than let some stranger touch me.. far less complicated and imo waaay more gratifying. | |
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| Basic Human Touch
Posted: 2/27/2012 7:20:46 AM | Being touched is important...but I can get that through friends, relatives and even my pets. It is not a requirement that can only be filled by someone romantically interested/ing.
My son's hugs fill me more than I can say...and no matter who enters or exits my life...this doesnt change. | |
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| Basic Human Touch
Posted: 2/27/2012 8:10:15 AM | being a cwtch(it means hug in english) monster im tactile,so get lots hugs,reckon cos my family not like it made mind up break cycle/making up for lost time lol | |
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| Basic Human Touch
Posted: 2/27/2012 9:48:24 AM | | While I do enjoy touch, it is not a need in my life. I recently went a couple years without giving so much as a hug. | |
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| Basic Human Touch
Posted: 2/27/2012 10:52:41 AM | ^^^^^ I wish men would bring this kind of stuff up before you start dating. I wouldn't date someone who doesn't show effection ^^^^^^
Some people really need it. | |
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| Basic Human Touch
Posted: 2/27/2012 11:14:14 AM | I thought this was going to be about a "touch" in the sense of asking for a loan of money.
"Basic human touch" doesn't mean a lot, but a sophisticated human massage is nice. I suppose that could be called "evolution" but I don't see the connection to religion. Do Catholics give better massages?
"When was the last time you had a hug or a kiss on the neck?" I hang out with musical people and have known theater people. They hug a lot. So last time I was at an evening of folk singing. Maybe you could join an amateur theatre group or a choir? I also find when you do a lady a favour she will often show her appreciation with a hug or a kiss or both. Oh, wait, you are a lady. I guess that won't work for you. I don't recall getting a kiss on the neck. I don't know any neck kissers. I rather enjoy a kiss on the head, both of them. | |
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