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 seasinblue
Joined: 7/2/2010
Msg: 1
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Curious about agePage 1 of 1    
Just curious. Why is age so important for people not interested in having children? I mean age within reason - not a 50 year-old with a 30 year-old. And I am talking about a serious mature relationship not a dysfunctional one.

If someone is very attractive and you share interests why would you care what age they are? I wouldn't care if a guy was 30 or 45 as long as he was attractive and we shared interests. Guys in their twenties think I am a similar age - I'm not. So they find me attractive and interesting, but on a site like this all that matters is age not looks, not interests - just age? That makes absolutely no sense.

I date men based on looks and personality. So gentleman - why does age trump looks and personality?
 CptIronJack
Joined: 3/13/2009
Msg: 2
Curious about age
Posted: 2/26/2012 6:51:16 AM
and yet I'm 52 and have a 34 yr old friend whom I've known for a decade. Age really is a number and an attitude :)
 Amor_Meu
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 3
Curious about age
Posted: 2/26/2012 6:54:36 AM
OP,Age to me doesn't matter really. What is the most important if there is a connection,chemistry and some common interests,age is only a number(lottery number) to me.

But unfortunately some men and women will give away a chance to be happy in a loving relationship because of or you are older or younger than...or because they aren't mature enough to think that finding a special someone is really tough currently and that age shouldn't be an issue at all.

Last year on here I dated a wonderful woman that is 11 years older than me,we got on really well,same interests,musics,hobbies but then...she was too worry about what family,friends,her dog,cat will think of dating a 11 years man her junior.

So then was too much worry to her that she told me that she can't cope with THE AGE GAP between us,so she still single nowadays,we still talking but only as friends,that is what I mean,she throw away the chance to us to be together but that is the way that she thinks,there is nothing that I can do about it!

Break Dance 4 Life!!
 motown_cowgirl
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 4
Curious about age
Posted: 2/26/2012 7:03:48 AM
I date men based on looks and personality why does age trump looks and personality.

Because their list is different than yours, and age is at least as important to them as looks and personality are to you. Seems simple enough.


on a site like this all that matters is age not looks, not interests - just age? That makes absolutely no sense.

But your question is the epitome of reason.
Which is worse according to you, some guy thinking you're too old, or too young? Or is it the idea that he had any opinion at all about the age range of the woman he wanted to meet that bothers you?
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 5
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Curious about age
Posted: 2/26/2012 7:08:26 AM
Age matters to them from a long term point of view I suppose? I can't speak on the behalf of those who have a different vision of a future without children. But I suspect they want to travel, do lots of activities, and if the gap is too large it becomes harder and harder if one of the partners is much older as time goes on.
 Jimbonator62
Joined: 6/11/2006
Msg: 6
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Curious about age
Posted: 2/26/2012 7:12:08 AM
Each of us is justified in whatever priorities we care to impose. As an example, there are an awful lot of women here that are seeking a guy with a Harley. I don't happen to have a bike of any brand let alone a Harley. Do I start ranting and raving because they want something I don't have nor care to provide or do I just move onto the next profile? It's their right to be looking for that so I don't bother them, I move on.
 Munkeechi
Joined: 11/25/2008
Msg: 7
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Curious about age
Posted: 2/26/2012 7:30:51 AM
Age is also related to life experiences. Most people want someone who's either been through similar things or can relate to their life experiences. There's not many experiences that a 20 year old and a 60 year old would have in common.

Not to mention the whole "you'll probably die long before I do" thing.
 Aristotle_Amadopolis
Joined: 12/8/2011
Msg: 8
Curious about age
Posted: 2/26/2012 7:32:33 AM
Just curious. Why is age so important for people not interested in having children?

The same reason that religion is so important for some, or why status is important to others.

They are personal choices and as such not everyone's choice will be made based on the same criteria as everyone else's.




If someone is very attractive and you share interests why would you care what age they are?

If someone is very attractive and you share interests why would you care what gender they are?




I date men based on looks and personality. So gentleman - why does age trump looks and personality?

Because it is a personal choice and not everyone makes the same choice.




Bottom line is attraction is a myriad of many things, none of which can stand on their own, thus you can not isolate one trait or characteristics as it relates to who will be attracted to who.
 LathaMath
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 9
Curious about age
Posted: 2/26/2012 7:35:43 AM
Intellectually older people are more attractive, up to the age of senile dementia. Physically younger people are more attractive. Socially people the same age are more attractive. So it would depend on the lifestyle and activities you prefer.
 OopstooLate
Joined: 2/1/2012
Msg: 10
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Curious about age
Posted: 2/26/2012 7:48:32 AM
Yeah it's totally subjective, but also counter-productive.
If all the people on here were truly looking for that ideal "LOVE" they claim exists you would think they would be less discriminating and at least filter out people with regard to incompatible personality rather than the superficial garbage and bias. I'm with you on that, but really they are only cheating themselves.
 PolarisBurns
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 11
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Curious about age
Posted: 2/26/2012 7:54:37 AM
Age, personality, ability to write coherent sentences, appearances, favorite color, preferences in meat, how they take their coffee, number of books read in a year, genre of said books, sexual appetite... etc...

They all make a complete package and your questions boggle me. Yes, you are 37... read it on your profile. Personally, I have my search set for 25 to 35, I am 32 but does it really matter? Outside of a range, you may very well meet someone you get along famously with, not impossible, not improbable. It could be overlooked when other factors suit the mate on the other end and vise-versa. If men were cheese and women were wine you have to find the right vintage and pallet to suit each other. The bottom line is that in general the closer people are in age the more things they have in common but then there is the example of my parents, eight years difference. My mother is older and they have been married for 34 years so it does happen.

Let us also not forget the legacy of America's darkest poet Edgar Allen Poe.
 RT_2
Joined: 11/5/2010
Msg: 12
Curious about age
Posted: 2/26/2012 8:31:11 AM
Age is important for the childfree.

Women in their 20s who claim they don't want kids have a nasty habit of hitting their so called biological clock and getting BABY RABIES! I've seen longtime posters on here change their wants kids from no to undecided open or prefer not to say which means yes.

The best way to prove you don't want kids is to get "spayed".

Having kids, pregnancy, etc adds to how old a woman looks, so childfree girls are more appealing at any age than women with kids.

Older women sometimes brag about being with a younger man. Be with him for him as an individual, not as a trophy.

Fill out your wants kids field or we'll assume the worst.
 OopstooLate
Joined: 2/1/2012
Msg: 13
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Curious about age
Posted: 2/26/2012 8:42:08 AM
[prefer not to say which means yes.]

Originally I put "prefer not to say" not because I want more kids, but because I don't think its everyone who has internet access' business that I've had a tubal ligation. Then when men who haven't had children, but wanted them contacted me I told them. So you shouldn't assume it means yes.

Edit>>>Also I've had 3 kids and still look better than at least 50% of the 20 year old childless girls I go to university with, so this is also not a good indicator of attractiveness.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 14
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Curious about age
Posted: 2/26/2012 8:46:12 AM
Your question confuses me a bit, OP. Though you ask as though you subscribe to the "age is just a number" crowd, you actually restrict your own mail limits to people 27 to 45. So you accept men very much younger than yourself, but not very much older.

That is certainly your right, but it contradicts your notion "on a site like this all that matters is age not looks, not interests - just age? That makes absolutely no sense."

Obviously, age as a selection criteria very much makes sense to you. Therefore I would ask you to explain to yourself, why you chose the particular limits you did, and that will answer your question for you.
 PutYouOnBlast
Joined: 1/18/2012
Msg: 15
Curious about age
Posted: 2/26/2012 8:50:58 AM

Originally I put "prefer not to say" not because I want more kids, but because I don't think its everyone who has internet access' business that I've had a tubal ligation. Then when men who haven't had children, but wanted them contacted me I told them. So you shouldn't assume it means yes.


I agree.

I have two children, one adult and one teenager. I have had my tubes done and it would be obvious that I do not want anymore children. It doesn't mean that I would reject a single father, it just means that I will not be giving birth to anymore babies. So, if the person I date enters into a relationship with me, and it is serious enough to wear we want to get married, he would know this part about me and would have to seriously think about what it truly means to him. If in fact, he wants more children, he would have to be the one to end the relationship and find someone who shares his need for more children.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 16
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Curious about age
Posted: 2/26/2012 9:27:03 AM
Well OP, time to pass this sermon on to all your fellow females and let them know that age is not the primary criteria for success with others, and if you are attracted to them, and they you, why worry about it?

What I look for, are women that turn my head, are in good shape, nice bodies, wonderful personalities, financially secure, and wanting to be with me, because they view me the same way..........

How hard is this? For most of us, very very hard, and age is not the main reason for that........but all the other parts of it are, and as one ages, those first things get harder and harder to find, and maintain.......go figure

cd..........
 jaybee812
Joined: 10/25/2011
Msg: 17
Curious about age
Posted: 2/26/2012 10:59:05 AM
not a big fan of daytime TV, but did happen to catch a segment of Dr Phil one day I was off work.
he sed, "twenty years age difference may not be an issue when you are 20/ 40, but what about when you are 60/80? At 60, hopefully you still are in decent health, maybe retired,
but your partner is 80, maybe still alive, but probably not anxious to hike the Appalachian
trail with you"
 aliveagain8484
Joined: 2/8/2012
Msg: 18
Curious about age
Posted: 2/26/2012 11:07:18 AM
Personally more than 5 years younger makes a pretty large maturity difference. I am 27 so 6 years younger than me she would be 21, 21 year old girls are immature and only want to party for the most part. 5 years older than me and they are 32, anything over that and they are settled in not going anywhere in my opion. If they are interested in me at 27 I think they want a toy and not a relationship. Being a toy can be fun but it won't ever be serious. so my age search is 22 to 30.
Curious about age
Posted: 2/26/2012 11:55:44 AM
I suppose in every adult age grouping, there are exceptions to every "rule" that would surprise you.
Playing rock&roll at my age does not me a Mick Jagger make....(but does provide some interesting fun with the grownup kids of friends.)
Some folks are way older than their years - some way younger.
Some (like Goldilocks found) are "just right."

Certain agendas will dictate certain requirements.
(I got my head chewed off in here for questioning that "A" word) - but hell, narrowed agendas produce narrowed results.
Some - like to narrow. It produces fine focus, microspopically.
Some - like to open up that focus (and maybe have a good look at a bigger picture?)

In an ideal setting, age itself should not dictate the value or the meaning of what, and how you communicate, or with whom.
But social convention does dictate that, to quite a degree.

"Dating" (depending on its miriad and exponential definitions) on looks, personality, character, and mutual human enjoyments - shouldn't necessarily fall to the tyranny of age....but again, there's those conventions and agendas (some of which are of course, just plain old common sense.)

fiddling and fudging numbers - is as human as hair fussed with before the bathroom mirror.
If we get it right...perfect, even - is that because the numbers aligned?

One thing for sure, though. Within any demographic of peers, there are a million flavors of language that share common understandings.....ones important enough to grease the frictions of romantic encounters.
Personally (after raising a son) I've come to the sad conclusion that as a society, we often appear to have done a bad job of maturing our males and females on a compatible level. Often ends up being lousy for the males. Seems to me this spread is increasing as we sophisiticate ourselves into that glad good night.
 robin cognito
Joined: 10/22/2005
Msg: 20
Curious about age
Posted: 2/26/2012 1:38:24 PM
The only concern I would have about age and kids is the health of the baby and mother; for me if someone I was with really wanted kids I would still have them as long as I could see long-term potential with them.

Everyone is different though...some people want to play in their later years and not be tied down with kids; if it is important to you then find someone who shares it as important to them.
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