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 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 1
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How Soon To Introduce Date to Parents/FamilyPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
When you start dating someone, how soon do you introduce the new person to your parents/family members-if at all? A lot of people are terrified of introducing their kids to a new dating partner too soon. Is it the same way with other family members-whether it be at a family gathering function or just to drop in and say hi? And how soon do you expect to meet the other person’s parents and rest of the family?
 BrookfieldGentlemanTom
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 2
How Soon To Introduce Date to Parents/Family
Posted: 2/28/2012 11:06:17 AM
i introduce them to my family when it becomes a more serious relationship.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 3
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How Soon To Introduce Date to Parents/Family
Posted: 2/28/2012 11:07:23 AM
Unless you spend a lot of your free time with your parents...
why would you need to?
Your just dating. I see that the reason to introduce someone to your family is if your going to get married.

Perhaps you have a large extended family and hanging out with cousins or siblings? aunts? is that what you mean? as there are various levels of family and also various type relationships.

It is not a requirment I meet my dates family. I recently married and still have not met my in laws (I husbands parents and siblings)... they live out of state.

I have issues with the kids, all young adults... they ask me and us to meet people they are dating....... we have no interest and told them so... who they date is up to them, not us. We are only going to want to meet them should they be ready to marry, and even then, we do not plan to hang out with them. We are their parents, not their friends.
 bethesdafoodie
Joined: 1/2/2012
Msg: 4
How Soon To Introduce Date to Parents/Family
Posted: 2/28/2012 11:44:48 AM
Never, it's already bad enough that they think I'm in a relationship because they don't handle disappointment well and it's not realllly my fault for not clarifying that I'm not actually in a relationship...

Man it's going to be awkward when/if they ever meet my future hypothetical significant other and they think we've been dating for years.

I already made the mistake of posting a photo of me and my valentines day date on Facebook where I'm friends with my family.

But really, if you're thinking about introducing her to your parents, make sure you've already become exclusive, otherwise it might be difficult to explain when she picks another guy over you.

Given that I can barely tolerate being in the same room as my family for more than an hour, throwing a significant other into that would be like setting a fire on to dynamite.

On the other hand my parents have always approved of my relationships more than my brother's, he's gone more for looks and I've always valued personality and Intelligence more than anything.

One upping your big brother is always a good feeling.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 5
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How Soon To Introduce Date to Parents/Family
Posted: 2/28/2012 11:54:47 AM
I'm not a fan of meeting parents/meeting my parents unless I was going to get engaged and the whole nine yards. I don't like being the center of everyone else's attention while everybody is whispering "Is this the ONE?" Then having people corner you or call afterwards and asking if this is the ONE, whether it's joking or not. Some people will do this after the first date, then ask you after every date. Then everybody is contacting everybody giving opinions and predictions.

Then there are over-bearing parents or other family members who want to be totally involved in every aspect and want to be informed beforehand of any dating plans and totally smother the couple. This is especially true of certain nationalities and cultures where dating is a family event.
 Isis_feline
Joined: 10/4/2010
Msg: 6
How Soon To Introduce Date to Parents/Family
Posted: 2/28/2012 12:06:20 PM
My Ex introduced me to his parents on our second date! on our third I was to meet him at home and he got held up....I spent an hour with his mum......luckily they were lovely and I missed them and the cat more than him! - I think his getting me to meet the parents kinda backfired when they offered me a key to the house (becuase they had met me so early and knew we were happy and things were going well....or so we all thought....) while he was ramping up to dumping me for the ex best friend...... haha luckily (for him) i turned it down.....

As a rule I date and wont meet or introduce -

If i get to the point its serious then yeah ill do the whole parents thing, Im lucky mine are pretty cool, but i wouldnt be overanalyzing it if I met his parents earlier or the other way round...its no big deal to me....
 bethesdafoodie
Joined: 1/2/2012
Msg: 7
How Soon To Introduce Date to Parents/Family
Posted: 2/28/2012 12:10:13 PM
This thread does remind me of back when I was 18 and met this 17 year old's parents on the first date....

Was the oddest family ever, the parents loved me even thought they're all vegans and the girl was pretty damn clingy, and in the past I thought I was clingy.

It was like meeting an odd version of the Brady Bunch, where they seem like a perfect family but you just know deep down they have a freezer full of bodies or something.

Just remember when meeting the family to bring protection in case things get physical, you just never know nowadays what could go down.
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 8
How Soon To Introduce Date to Parents/Family
Posted: 2/28/2012 12:42:23 PM
I wouldn't introduce a date to my family, it's too casual a relationship. I guess if I went somewhere and my family happened to be there I would then make the introductions but that's unlikely due to geographical distance between us.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 9
How Soon To Introduce Date to Parents/Family
Posted: 2/28/2012 12:48:33 PM
I'm with msg #2. When things turn more serious, that is when introduction to each person's parents/family should take place.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 10
How Soon To Introduce Date to Parents/Family
Posted: 2/28/2012 1:17:43 PM
When you start dating someone, how soon do you introduce the new person to your parents/family members-if at all?


You mean that's not who sent them in the first place!?



 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 11
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How Soon To Introduce Date to Parents/Family
Posted: 2/28/2012 1:31:01 PM

When you start dating someone, how soon do you introduce the new person to your parents/family members-if at all?

Who cares... just do it when it's convenient...

I've had my parents meet women I had picked up the night before at a bar. I've dated some for a long time and they never met my family...
One girl met my son the very next day after I met her, literally less than 12 hours later... (we'd gone out to breakfast and she walked into the same place... so she had breakfast with us...)

It's not that big of a deal to meet friends and family....
 AnEvilgenius
Joined: 11/8/2011
Msg: 12
How Soon To Introduce Date to Parents/Family
Posted: 2/28/2012 1:34:47 PM
Never really put much thought into it so it's always just played out the way it plays out.
Can't see what the big deal would be either way.
 OCRebellion
Joined: 2/8/2011
Msg: 13
How Soon To Introduce Date to Parents/Family
Posted: 2/28/2012 7:42:29 PM
Well, considering I am 44 and don't live in the same city as my family, meeting my parents probably wouldn't happen unless we were getting married...and then maybe not....lol.
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 14
How Soon To Introduce Date to Parents/Family
Posted: 2/28/2012 8:33:04 PM
It depends on how it's presented.

If it's presented as bringing your date to "meet your parent" night than you have just made it into a big to do.

If you present it casually as you're bringing a friend or date over to a social that your parents will be attending anyway, then it's less dramatic. Probably less traumatic for everyone too.

Look at it this way. If you never bring over members of the opposite sex. Your parents might begin to wonder if you are interested in members of the opposite sex.
 RT_2
Joined: 11/5/2010
Msg: 15
How Soon To Introduce Date to Parents/Family
Posted: 2/29/2012 5:58:22 PM
All mine live far away, so possibly never.

I have experienced two conditions too soon for her to introduce me to her family members:

1) If she doesn't trust me to ride in my vehicle. Yet she was glad to have me meet her nieces and nephews.

2) If she doesn't know how to say my name. "This is, um, how do you say your name?". Awkward!
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 16
How Soon To Introduce Date to Parents/Family
Posted: 2/29/2012 6:30:32 PM
Hahahahaha!!! I liked this thread alot! Gives me pause to think about some things...

I guess to start with, I agree with the second post, not until it looks serious.

The next thing is the only way they meet my parents is through a seance!!

My REAL problem(well not mine lol), is they would have to meet my grown daughters, who can at times be like pitbulls, when it comes to meeting women I date.
 BountyHunterMike
Joined: 10/5/2011
Msg: 17
How Soon To Introduce Date to Parents/Family
Posted: 3/1/2012 9:15:47 PM
My view...You should not intro your kids to anyone until after 4 to 6months of dating....more like 6 months...same rule should be with family and friends....6 months YOU should know this person good enuff...

it is not fair to your kids to bring someone into their life who will not be longterm...your kids are not a revolving door

as rule goes with family members as well....if you keep bringing people in to your life you will look like a slut or someone who is imature in relationships...
 lightbrownsuga2luv
Joined: 12/1/2011
Msg: 18
How Soon To Introduce Date to Parents/Family
Posted: 3/2/2012 6:37:29 AM
I don't think kids of mine should be introduced for a long while, because I want to make sure of who this person is. My kids have a father they don't need a father figure in their lives.
If this person does not work out, then off to another, so how does that look for MOM to keep bringing men around when they might not stick around, makes mom look like a slut.
Parents, same but I may want to know what they think so yes I will bring them around my FATHER after four to five six months depending on the relationship, but my father does not meet everyone.
 ChadsFormerStandIn
Joined: 1/8/2012
Msg: 19
How Soon To Introduce Date to Parents/Family
Posted: 3/2/2012 7:56:53 AM
I often wonder this to myself, but deep down there can be only one answer and its a cliche. When the time is right. I think everyone knows their own situation enough to be able to answer that question for themselves.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 20
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How Soon To Introduce Date to Parents/Family
Posted: 3/2/2012 8:56:38 AM
I'm running out of family to introduce them to...
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 21
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How Soon To Introduce Date to Parents/Family
Posted: 3/2/2012 9:07:16 PM
When you start dating someone, how soon do you introduce the new person to your parents/family members-if at all? A lot of people are terrified of introducing their kids to a new dating partner too soon. Is it the same way with other family members-whether it be at a family gathering function or just to drop in and say hi? And how soon do you expect to meet the other person’s parents and rest of the family?


That depends if the drop in is unannounced or not. I'm not a fan of unexpected visitors. I also wouldn't expect to meet my new date's parents until he/she brings it up or until we become exclusive.

Also...
If I was 57, that would make my parents in their eighties. I would be very selective when and who I introduce them to. I don't see the point unless I am getting married, engaged, or serious, you know.
 qualityl
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 22
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How Soon To Introduce Date to Parents/Family
Posted: 3/12/2012 7:29:16 PM
Well my parents are both up in heaven, so my family consists of my sister's and brother. It really does not matter about introducing a friend to my family. We are a big italian family, and we all have lots of friends, and we enjoy good food. At my age, its not like high school to worry about introducing a new friend. My sister had a grand opening in a new business, in one of my friends home town, and I asked a guy friend to come to it. Who really cares, life is short for childish behaviors. There is no motive behind meeting people in life. It just comes natural in the Italian family! When my sister has a party at her house, sometimes has over 200 people show up.

Be positive and not negative, so if you meet family, just think as if you have a new friend. Does not mean you are serious. It's no big deal, no reason behind it, just friendship. Life is complicated enough, no rules allowed in this woman's life! My family has meet lots of people who are men and friends. Does not mean that I am in a relationship with these men or ever want to be!
 friendshipcomesfirst
Joined: 5/19/2011
Msg: 23
How Soon To Introduce Date to Parents/Family
Posted: 3/13/2012 1:20:40 PM
My rule with my kids is, no man I date meets them until we have been in a SERIOUS (as in not just dating) relationship for about 6 months without any major fights or break-ups...

This is to hopefully prevent confusion, or bonding issues that may lead to serious problems if we break up. ex- above post that mentions missing the parents more than the ex... Don't want my kids in the drama...

I would certainly expect that my children, who live with me, would meet him before other family from out state do...
 Maria6868
Joined: 2/18/2009
Msg: 24
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How Soon To Introduce Date to Parents/Family
Posted: 3/16/2012 3:48:09 PM
Qualityl: Very well said! I agree totally. My children are grown but we are a big, boisterous family that has many gatherings. We are also Italian and love to eat, enjoy good wine, conversation, etc...I usually don't ask someone I am not dating on a regular basis to join me at family events. If it seems to be more serious, I do extend and invite. I feel that meeting my family also gives better insight into me, my life, how I was raised, values ...etc...I realize not everyone has a family like I do and I am more than thankful and willing to share them with the right guy....You have a great positive attitude! We need more people like you on these forums.
 kornbeep
Joined: 3/4/2012
Msg: 25
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How Soon To Introduce Date to Parents/Family
Posted: 3/16/2012 5:14:30 PM
After you have your third kid with her, then its a good time to introduce.
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