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 TheB.G.Kid
Joined: 6/12/2011
Msg: 1
Trying to figure this girl outPage 1 of 1    
So I met this girl in the real world, introduced by a mutual friend. She and I hit it off immediately, went dancing, made out, and just had fun together. At least that's what it seemed like to me. We talk everyday, but when I ask her if she wants to hang out she'll say okay and that she will let me know, which she never does. But she's always asking when I'm going out with my friends, and seems to only want to hang out when I'm out with my buddies. So whats the deal with this girl? Never been in a situation where a girl doesnt want to spend one on one time, and only wants to go out when I'm out in a group.
 Timmahh88
Joined: 2/8/2012
Msg: 2
Trying to figure this girl out
Posted: 2/28/2012 10:41:28 PM
Really dude? You can't just say "Oh let me know when you wanna hang out" most women don't like indecisiveness. Just say "Oh I'm going to X at X time want to come with"

If you EVER ask a woman what she wants to do usually you'll get "I don't know" or "What do you want to do"
 OSGF
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 3
Trying to figure this girl out
Posted: 2/28/2012 10:44:19 PM
I don't know....you're young. Different rules than my age group. However, I would suggest you pick a night for a date, call her up and ask her if she would like to go to dinner or whatever on Friday night, for example.

By the way you describe it, it sounds like you are both indecisive about going out with each other. Make a decision and just properly ask her out on a date, if that's what you're looking for. Worst case scenario....she says no. Oh well....no more wondering on your end then....that way you can move on to someone else. If she says yes, then yay for you!
 The_Standard_Model
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 4
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Trying to figure this girl out
Posted: 2/28/2012 11:25:26 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Yup. What she said. It has nothing to do with different rules though. You are trying to hard. You ask her out. Properly. Askk her to go out with you and just you at such and such a time. If she says yes then your problem is solved. You are now going out for one-on-one time. If she says no then your problem is solved. She ain't interested in hanging out with you one-on-one unless she makes a different plan. If she says yes then stands you up then your proble is solved. She is too flighty to deal with you honestly and respectfully.
But the onus is one YOU to stand up and ask her to hang out one-on-one with you at a scheduled time.
 MrsMau5
Joined: 2/10/2012
Msg: 5
Trying to figure this girl out
Posted: 2/28/2012 11:56:15 PM
seems to me like she's only interested in hanging out with you and with your friends. idk....this gurl's weird
 TheB.G.Kid
Joined: 6/12/2011
Msg: 6
Trying to figure this girl out
Posted: 2/29/2012 12:36:39 AM
It is weird indeed. I mean, if she wasnt feeling it the way I was then why would she keep in contact with me. The weirdest part is only wanting to hang out with me and my friends, never just us together. What kind of girl only wants to hang out with a guy when hes with his friends? She's only been around one of my guy friends, and he tried to kiss her when he was drunk and she rejected him so I know she's not using me to get to another guy.
 NarcissusTemple
Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 7
Trying to figure this girl out
Posted: 2/29/2012 12:54:58 AM

What kind of girl only wants to hang out with a guy when hes with his friends?

The kind that has a crush on one of your friends.

She's only been around one of my guy friends, and he tried to kiss her when he was drunk and she rejected him so I know she's not using me to get to another guy.

Or the kind that really liked the attention.

Trust me. If she was "feeling it the way you were," there's no doubt she'd grab the first chance for some alone time with you.
There's no other explanation. Sorry.

Find someone who feels the same way about you.
 Robert122077
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 8
Trying to figure this girl out
Posted: 2/29/2012 12:56:50 AM
Yeah...sounds like she's into one of your friends. I'd invite her out with you again, and your friends, and observe how she acts toward all your guy friends. At least then you'll know who.
 prometheus76
Joined: 1/22/2012
Msg: 9
Trying to figure this girl out
Posted: 2/29/2012 6:55:25 AM
Make specific plans for something and tell her you would like for her to come with you. (make sure she understands that it will only be the two of you)
 0ldhag
Joined: 1/8/2012
Msg: 10
Trying to figure this girl out
Posted: 2/29/2012 8:12:32 AM
She thinks one of your friends are hot.
 c4st_4w4y
Joined: 2/17/2012
Msg: 11
Trying to figure this girl out
Posted: 2/29/2012 8:30:12 AM
Dude, you are young and that is to your credit.

She sounds like probably 'just a friend'. Keep it so, or be straight forward and ask her if she's interested in you...don't expect that she will be...so you're not totally bummed out. The friend-zone sucks, but you'll have plenty of other chances with others.
If she likes one of your friends and it works out, then that's less competition for the next one that comes along...and there's always a next time...
 charisma9
Joined: 2/25/2012
Msg: 12
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Trying to figure this girl out
Posted: 2/29/2012 9:15:27 PM
Sounds to me like she really isn't all that into you..but she doesn't want to be rude and tell you she doesn't want to hang out with you anymore. Sometimes a girl isn't into you, she will put you in the friend zone and hangout to see if she can meet people she is more into through you. It's majorly jacked up...but girls will be girls.
 girlnextdoorID
Joined: 1/7/2011
Msg: 13
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Trying to figure this girl out
Posted: 2/29/2012 9:28:23 PM
Nothing new - but I want to put my vote in the "make an effing decision" column. ASK her out specifically. Choose a date and time and make plans. Tell her the plans or don't - up to you.

Honestly- let me guess - you're "hanging" with your friends on weekends nights or perhaps Wednesday nights? Yeah - that's when girls want to go out on dates. SOoooo... you either need to make a decision that you are going to make it a priority to go out with this girl that you're crazy about (and potentially will get lucky with) OR hang with your boys... AGAIN. Up to you. But I am curious... how many of your "boys" have girlfriends?

Good Luck with that...
~GND
 17neptune
Joined: 12/20/2007
Msg: 14
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Trying to figure this girl out
Posted: 2/29/2012 9:59:36 PM
I agree with robert122 post....she might be into your friend.
And the irony is that he is probably the one who introduced you to her
But he is probably not into her. Just ask her.

If it turns out she likes one of your friends, would you be nice enough to them up?
 happy woodstock
Joined: 12/12/2009
Msg: 15
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Trying to figure this girl out
Posted: 2/29/2012 11:28:31 PM
She might just be interested in being friends with you and nothing more. She could be concerned that if you have one on one time with you that she will be put in a situation and perhaps she is too nice to want to say anything different thinking it might affect your friendship.
 TheB.G.Kid
Joined: 6/12/2011
Msg: 16
Trying to figure this girl out
Posted: 3/1/2012 12:10:47 AM
I've mentioned that shes only met one guy friend who I know shes not into, and we met through a lady friend, not another guy friend, so anything about her being interested in a guy friend is out of the question
 Lala288
Joined: 1/29/2012
Msg: 17
Trying to figure this girl out
Posted: 3/1/2012 1:04:31 PM
She might just want to spend time with you in a group setting for now. Sometimes a woman wants to see what you're like around your friends. It's a more natural environment where you're more likely to be yourself.

If you want to hang out with her one-on-one, make a plan and ask her to go. Here's the thing; If a woman has a handful of guys say "Hey let me know when you want to hang out." she's not going to send out a mass text message for a day she's free to find out who wants to go. A guy with a plan is sexy and it shows he has genuine interest in her.
 17neptune
Joined: 12/20/2007
Msg: 18
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Trying to figure this girl out
Posted: 3/1/2012 1:27:10 PM

I've mentioned that shes only met one guy friend who I know shes not into


*scratches head* Hmmmm.......
You mention several times in your posts...."friendS". plural. not singular, until later.
-if this is true, and it's not all your friends (plural); and it is a repeat...and it is *just* the ONE guy she's met before and continues to ask about as a condition to go out with you...then maybe, she really does like him.
-Also, if your defence of her not liking him was due to that one incident where she rejected him when he was drunk.....Well, I can't speak for all ladies, but I personally wouldn't want to be kissed by a drunk (whether or not I liked him).


we met through a lady friend, not another guy friend

-Where do you say that? You just said "Mutual" friend....not noting the person's gender. Or did I miss it?
-Anyway, have you tried asking your 'mutual friend' what the dealio is?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last case scenario.....she had way too much to drink the first time around....and she made out with ya due to the influence of booze and not because of any genuine connection. She may just like hanging out with you...but as a drink buddy and not more than that..... She wants other people there because she does not have the heart to tell you that you're in the Friend Zone; and assumes you are smart enough to get the hint? but you don't, do you? Instead, you just want other people to tell you in many different ways, that "she's just not that into you". Move on. You are better off.
 psytle
Joined: 3/7/2011
Msg: 19
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Trying to figure this girl out
Posted: 3/1/2012 1:41:38 PM
OP, if you've asked her out with a specific date, time and place, and she was non committal, it means she's not interested in spending alone time with you, or apathetic to the idea in the very best case.

Don't waste your energy trying to figure out why, regardless of her past behavior. It's just not worth it.
 cheryl1229
Joined: 6/13/2011
Msg: 20
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Trying to figure this girl out
Posted: 3/1/2012 5:21:01 PM
She may be interested in one of your buddies, but is afraid of getting messed up by "the bro code". If she wants your friend, but is not friends with him independently of you, then her only choice is to only hang with you when he's around.

If she goes out alone with you, you get the wrong idea, you think she's interested in you, you get your heart broken, you tell all your bro's that she broke your heart, and they all avoid her like the plague.

She has to stay friends with you to get to your friend. But she can't lead you on. She can't make you feel like you have a chance with her. But her only chance is to do the group hangout thing until your friend develops an interest on his own, outside of you. But he won't do that if he thinks you like her. But she has to make it clear that she doesn't like you "like that", or else she is off limits, due to "the bro code".
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