| The 7 year itch and monogomy...do you think its true!?
Posted: 11/6/2004 3:04:18 PM | Ok...the other nite i watched a special on 20/20 about sex! I know it seems weird, but supposidly they did a bunch of studies to see who/what and when we have the most sex.
Anyway...they did the top 10 myths about sex and the number one myth was that there is a 7 year itch. For those of you who don't know what that is...its when you and your partner have been together for 7 years and they start to seek other people to be with and start to question your relationship. All it is saying is that you don't really want to be with that person after 7 years and if you make it past that then you are meant to be together.
Ok...so they started to explain the 7 year itch and then some scientist said that its not a 7 year itch we should worry about, its a 4 year itch. They say that women are designed (for lack of a better word) to have children in 4 year increments. Our bodies are made to support the growing process in 4 years. So when you are with someone, its is said that you tend to think differently after 4 years and start to look for other people to have relationships with. She also said that humans are not made to be in monogomous relationships and that we are made to see and "mate" with many people, not just one. It is human nature for people to want to roam the earth and constantly have different partners.
As for my belief on what she said...i think its BS! I think that humans that love one person enough will stay with them through no matter how many years and how many "itches" they get! I think humans can be monogomous, but most of us choose not to be. I think it is just a way to excuse all the people out there from cheating and leaving marriages after 4 years...or however many years!
What does everyone think? Do you think monogomy is possible and IS in fact our first instinct, or do you think that we are made to go from partner to partner? And do you even think there is a time in a relationship when you start to get bored and look for other prospects?
Hit me up!
~KrIsTy | |
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| The 7 year itch and monogomy...do you think its true!?
Posted: 11/6/2004 4:11:50 PM | | My parents are proof 51 years.My father gave me lessons on how to love a woman for life,also about how not to cheat and why.You love someone with your heart and you use your mind in showing that love. | |
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| The 7 year itch and monogomy...do you think its true!?
Posted: 11/6/2004 7:46:27 PM | While we do have instincts and are behaviors are, in part controlled by innate needs both genetic and psychological, we are thinking beings. We have the ability to control our actions with reasoning, emotion, ethical codes, and moral leanings.
In most instances this is completely true.
You could choose to die, by not defending yourself, for whatever reason.
You could choose to not help or help someone in need, for whatever reason.
You CAN choose to seek other sexual partners, for whatever reason.
The fact is there are many factors involved in such things.
For some of these situations, you have very little time to make a choice, however cheating is pretty much premeditated and something people tend to rationalize with thinly veiled reasoning.
Each person is different, each situation is different, however in the end, it is a choice and one you certainly don’t have to make.
However, you should take into consideration I have no relationship experience so take what I say as useless verbal diarrhea. 
The End | |
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| The 7 year itch and monogomy...do you think its true!?
Posted: 11/6/2004 8:57:34 PM | Psychologists create theories, so they can publish books. It is not an exact science. Every person is unique and different. People change over time. Over the next five years, you will learn and grow. You will grow in both good and bad directions. Will your partner will grow in the same directions you grow? I don't know - neither will you. Some women expect to be able to change a man to get rid of the aspects of the man the woman does not like. Don't expect to "change" the bad aspects of a man. As far as long term relationships - anything is possible with the right people.
Ironically, the qualities that we look for in a boyfriend/girlfriend are not necessarily the things that make for a good husband/wife. | |
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| The 7 year itch and monogomy...do you think its true!?
Posted: 11/6/2004 9:09:48 PM | | they also said on that report that short men tend to be monogomous... go figure ;) i didn't see the whole thing on the 7 year itch but it was a pretty good show. i don't think people were meant to be monogomous by nature, i think it's a skill you develop with time. i used to be the worlds biggest cheater but i was always honest with the men i dated. now though... i couldn't cheat on a steady boyfriend to save my life. i can't explain it other than i've grown up in that area and wouldn't want it done to me so i find monogomy an easy, welcome part of a relationship. i think lions are the only species that are monogomous by nature. what i got from that episode was if i wanted a faithful man, i'd better look at men that were considerably shorter than me... ya, like that's gonna happen ;) great subject though... | |
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| The 7 year itch and monogomy...do you think its true!?
Posted: 11/23/2004 7:58:33 AM | | I think you are a lot smarter than the women who was on the show. Personaly I had no desire to cheat and neither did my wife. We were married for 10 years and faithful. There are several different species of animals that are monogomous, if humans are supposed to be at the top of the food chain you'd think we could manage to remain faithful. I agree with you, it's a lot of BS that people are going to cheat out of instincts. My opinion is cheaters are unhappy or don't have good self image maybe other issues. I don't think people "need" to be unfaithful. | |
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| The 7 year itch and monogomy...do you think its true!?
Posted: 11/23/2004 8:11:09 AM | the fact is, over the last couple bazillion centuries, many many people have been unfaithful in their marriages. so it's a pretty good assumption that no, we're not "meant" to be monogomous. In biblical times, men shared their wives pretty much on a regular basis.
marriage was invented by religious leaders, not mother nature.
we CAN ignore our genetic wiring and basic instincts. that doesn't mean we'll be happy doing so. a lot of the problems we have today are because men can't get laid the way they'd like.
many people live happily married. glad to hear it. are they the exception or the norm? who knows. but this doc's theory doesn't surprise me, and if you think it's "BS" you're overly idealistic.
I used to believe in the whole hyped-up romantic aspects of there being a soul mate out there for everyone. I got more practical, eventually.  | |
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| The 7 year itch and monogomy...do you think its true!?
Posted: 11/23/2004 5:03:08 PM | | I think it is a bunch of BS. If you got something good going on for you why go and screw it up? It is your choise to either be honest with someone and be with them or cheat on that person. Or so I believe. | |
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| The 7 year itch and monogomy...do you think its true!?
Posted: 11/25/2004 2:03:26 AM | skarsten, ... you're a little..bit too cynicle, i think, and maybe 'marriage' was created by religious institutions...
But love transcends religious affiliation, it transcends science...its the ultimate feeling... and its rare .. especially when people don't believe in it...
i think...even though i've been shot down a lot..in my search for love...that its out there...i could never cheat on a girl... usually when i'm w/ someone...even for a year or longer..i'm so blindly n love w/ that person that i can't even see other people, i bore all my friends, cus i won't shut up about her... etc...
I'm a true romantic i guess, even all the pain i've been through, i'm not ready to stop believing in love....when you stop believing....well..that's when you've lost...u can't find something when u no-longer believe it exists....
True-love exists, its out there... it just isn't as easy to find as we'd like, but if it were easy to find...then everyone would have it...and it wouldn't be as sought after....the hard things to acquire...are the best things....
I know there's a sweet, romantic, loving girl out there, who'd never cheat on me, who'd love me w/ all her heart, who wants, 3-5 kids, and who i can seriously grow old w/...and walk hand in hand w/ when i'm 80 years old... and celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary....n such... | |
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| The 7 year itch and monogomy...do you think its true!?
Posted: 11/25/2004 9:46:41 PM | | One word ALCOHOL, Chances are if there is signifigant drinking in a relationship thoughts of infadelitys will creep in. Plus drunk relationships never last, there must be substance to last, common goals ect. | |
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| The 7 year itch and monogomy...do you think its true!?
Posted: 11/28/2004 6:34:42 AM | Its more like the 2-year itch in my experience. I've had two virgins in my past who remained in a monogomous relationship for about two years before they started to secretly get curious, watch a few episodes of "Sex In the City" and decide to dump me to go and see what its like with other guys.
So in my experience, they WILL cheat on you eventually.
Just happened AGAIN actually, about two months ago. Virgin girl (and not young by the way, its not like they're naieve - last one was 31!), very serious relationship for over two years before she started going on secret dates before dumping me for some slick rich lawyer type. Sheesh!
Ok so maybe I'm a little jaded, but it did happen twice and they were both virgins. | |
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| The 7 year itch and monogomy...do you think its true!?
Posted: 11/28/2004 9:28:00 PM | I believe the information you got from the TV show is absolutely true. No question about it. We are biologically designed to procreate the species. Monogamy is unnatural, but it is something that we have imposed upon ourselves to keep order in society. It is a good thing. We are among the few species who are sentient, so we have to create morals, guidelines, rules, etc. If we didn't, we would go insane.
BB | |
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| The 7 year itch and monogomy...do you think its true!?
Posted: 10/15/2007 4:07:32 PM | I think there is some truth to the study... I was married for 7 years when out of the blue my wife ran off with a coworker she worked with that was 10 years younger. Now here we are 7 years after my divorce with her and she keeps stopping my my business and calls all the time for no reason all dressed up ? ........ The new guy who she married and had a daughter with went bald, got fat and lost his job....... lol.
My second wife had a 4 year itch that was created by the explosion of Internet cheat sites that created a new self image of herself of being someone every one had to have. And all the guys telling her anything to get into her pants......... Let see she bounced back to me about 4 times of going to meet people who just flat out lied about their physical and financial position in this world.....lol. I told her to stay gone on the 4th time........ Keep in mind people these women ask me to marry them. I was content with just dating? I went into the married mode and never paid much attention to other women.
My first wife wrote a few in-depth letters of how she was sorry for doing such a dumb thing as running of with some fast talker? Who she said she never slept with until she moved out (lol) I really think she was telling the truth because she said she would have run for the hills if she knew how bad at sex this guy was........ LOL . In the letter she wrote stated that I was smarter, funnier, sexier, mentally and physically stronger, a better provider, better in bed, had more of a future, and exotic life style and a bunch of other stuff. I ask her after reading the letter, did you not do any research before making such a life altering decision? ( I never kept the letter......... I gave the letter to my second wife at the time was on her 4th strike on chasing after some guy. Asking her what is up with you women and the greener pastures (that always turns out to be bitter weed fields) lol. By the way she has tried to come back too............ I think 4 chances puts her in a mentally challenged group that I do not care to be around.......
Keep in mind my first wife was a billboard and clothing magazine model and my second was in the process (who I was funding to help get there) In a high end modeling agency who had very good odds of becoming someone.... I always want my mate to be happy and shoot for their dreams........... They just forget to bring me along......lol
So what I am saying is ................... with the ease it is to cheat on people like on sites like these..........ummmm I would say the 7 year itch will become a 1 year itch. And all the pick up artist (lol) sleeping around with them all........... I would say most of them with physically have itches that will not go away too..........  | |
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| The 7 year itch and monogomy...do you think its true!?
Posted: 10/15/2007 4:35:21 PM | I don't believe in the seven year itch. I do believe that breaking a mirror brings seven years of bad luck. I was in a 14 year relationship. Strangely, I don't remember breaking two mirrors.
Drewwf | |
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| The 7 year itch and monogomy...do you think its true!?
Posted: 10/16/2007 10:17:52 AM | I think the itch isnt real unless you believe it.
I think that humans arent wired up any of those ways ... you wire your self, external influences may have an effect, but you do the wiring, You make your own choices, any one that doesnt take accountability for their doings,wont. You can feel, think etc as much as you like, but doing, interacting in the world around you is different.
you can use whatever theories, ideas and beliefs that you like to show why and how you made your choices, still you made those choices, even if one of those choices was made at 10 and heavily effects you now on the subconscious - that final act where you have to engage your body is conscious, you have to choose, you can say no and its nothing more than a flirty friendship, or you can say yes and your a cheater.
Thats my thoughts. | |
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| The 7 year itch and monogomy...do you think its true!?
Posted: 11/4/2007 7:59:46 PM | I don't know about the sex part, but if it is any indication about the 7 year thingy...... my ex and I broke up when we were together for 7 years. 3 months after our anniversary actually......
I believe it. | |
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| The 7 year itch and monogomy...do you think its true!?
Posted: 11/4/2007 8:03:59 PM | I think i need to get my itch recalibrated.
it always goes off after 3 years.
I'd be hard pressed to have a relationship last 7 years. perhaps i should count my blessings? I don't know if i could stomach a 7 year relationship.
heh
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