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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Girl  > Does it matter that I'm in a wheelchair?      Home login  
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 chazman531
Joined: 2/28/2012
Msg: 1
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Does it matter that I'm in a wheelchair?Page 1 of 1    
Out of simple curiousity do girls look past the chair at first glance and give me a chance or does the wheelchair scare them off?
 AngelWithGuns
Joined: 1/16/2012
Msg: 2
Does it matter that I'm in a wheelchair?
Posted: 3/2/2012 6:48:12 PM
Some will some won't. Hell, some men don't want to meet a weight lifter, so we all have things people just can or cannot deal with. :)

Keep your chin up , and just keep trying. I think what scares people is the unknown. I have met some men who once they met me, would not go away....when at first they were intimidated by me....LOL

Good luck and good for you going for it !!! And do not lose focus on anything. Congrats on your Degree ( still working on mine ). You have a lot going for you. Woman or not...keep doing it.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 3
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Does it matter that I'm in a wheelchair?
Posted: 3/2/2012 7:02:18 PM
You should be sure to let them know your in one before meeting.

I met a guy in one and he did not tell me but showed up in one and it freaked me out and shocked me.
I was not prepaired for anything like that and was caught so totally off gaurd it blew me away. I did not want to be rude to him as I know his life is hard being single in a wheelchair and trying to date but I never saw him again because he got me to meet him under false terms, omitting this info.

if he would have told me, maybe things would have been different.
 bwena
Joined: 2/5/2012
Msg: 4
Does it matter that I'm in a wheelchair?
Posted: 3/2/2012 7:33:36 PM
People can sometimes be scared of what they don't know. I might be nervous and worried about dating someone in a wheelchair because I know nothing about the challenges you face. However, I would say that personality can win people over without a doubt. If I got to know someone and we had an attraction and I liked his personality I might be willing to get to know him better. So, let your personality shine and show women who you are. You might be surprised at who you meet and where it might go. :)
 Arata_na_Yoake
Joined: 1/25/2012
Msg: 5
Does it matter that I'm in a wheelchair?
Posted: 3/2/2012 7:42:54 PM
If it was a woman, I wouldn't care. An attractive and intelligent girl in a wheelchair is still an attractive and intelligent girl.

There's always that awkward phase of trying to understand what their limitations are and how I should behave around them on certain subjects though.
 chazman531
Joined: 2/28/2012
Msg: 6
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Does it matter that I'm in a wheelchair?
Posted: 3/2/2012 7:48:56 PM
Only problem is that online dating doest really allow me to show my full personality. Being handicapped makes it difficult to go out in public on my own and thats why I turned to POF. I just don't know what else the problem could be. I've sent out many messages to all types of girls and I haven't gotten 1 reply. I didn't know if my pics in my profile showing me in a chair and me saying I'm in a chair helped or hurt.
 Landra2
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 7
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Does it matter that I'm in a wheelchair?
Posted: 3/2/2012 7:51:21 PM
It doesn't "scare" me.
But we wouldn't be a match because of the (physical) activities I pursue.
 AngelWithGuns
Joined: 1/16/2012
Msg: 8
Does it matter that I'm in a wheelchair?
Posted: 3/2/2012 7:54:23 PM
On line won't allow you to show who you are. That's why it is difficult. That can only be done in person. All you can do is what you are doing. Your profile is fine and not deceiveing in any way. It's hard for all of us. Trust me !

Keep coming to the forums too. There are some good people here and it's entertaining to say the least. Hang In there. :)
 chazman531
Joined: 2/28/2012
Msg: 9
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Does it matter that I'm in a wheelchair?
Posted: 3/2/2012 8:02:08 PM
Thanks Angel & I must say I've been very entertained tonight on here
 SaluteYourShorts
Joined: 2/12/2012
Msg: 10
Does it matter that I'm in a wheelchair?
Posted: 3/2/2012 8:05:13 PM
there is someone for everyone bro, understandably you are in a different and difficult situation. The light at the end of the tunnel is that wheelchair, or bodybuilder...we all face the same challenge in finding someone to have a spiritual connection with. Youve come this far, and faced many challenges and none of them have beaten you yet. Im not in a wheelchair and 9/10 messages i get arent responded to....so dont let that beat ya down. Just keep trying and when you least expect it. It happens. If you get into the mindset of noboddy's ever gonna love me, then chances are that'll come true. just stay positive.
 Arata_na_Yoake
Joined: 1/25/2012
Msg: 11
Does it matter that I'm in a wheelchair?
Posted: 3/2/2012 8:47:56 PM
I've sent out many messages to all types of girls and I haven't gotten 1 reply. I didn't know if my pics in my profile showing me in a chair and me saying I'm in a chair helped or hurt.


I don't know if it's much comfort, but if you frequent this forum you'll quickly see plenty of guys having the same issue of girls not responding - and they're not in wheelchairs. Guys outnumber girls here, it's just the way things are.

I like Star Wars as well but I think that Yoda tattoo is doing more harm than your wheelchair ever could, LoL.
 chazman531
Joined: 2/28/2012
Msg: 12
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Does it matter that I'm in a wheelchair?
Posted: 3/2/2012 9:31:04 PM
Dude you have no freakin clue how many chicks dig the Yoda tattoo
 ifuwanttoluv
Joined: 1/10/2012
Msg: 13
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Does it matter that I'm in a wheelchair?
Posted: 3/2/2012 9:40:52 PM
your motivational words are empowering i need you on my right shoulder
 Stroke_of_midnight
Joined: 12/9/2011
Msg: 14
Does it matter that I'm in a wheelchair?
Posted: 3/5/2012 12:33:07 PM
I've been in a chair for six years since my massive stroke and my right side is partially paralyzed. There will always be those who simply disregard a person based on whatever "x" factor it is that they're not comfortable with, and I realize that guys in 'chairs tend to run into so many that can't see beyond it. And let's be blunt here, this could be any of us tomorrow who suddenly find themselves in this position, but so many never take that into account.

Ultimately, it comes down to how you present/advertise yourself in your profile, how you follow through to any messages that you receive, and about how you come across in person if you actually meet -- basically the same factors that are required for anyone on a dating site. Confidence can't be stressed enough; if a person can't be confident in themselves, how will anyone else ever feel that way about them?

Granted, some will NEVER be able to look past the physical factors, but there's no law that guarantees "dating equality", so it's up to us to be patient and put our best foot forward -- or wheel as the case may be. Honestly, most that I date tend to forget about the 'chair after the personality shines through. The real challenge is simply getting to that point.

And once ladies learn that we get the best parking spots at the mall, you're often home-free!

Good luck!
-Michael
 Skyfireshogun
Joined: 5/6/2010
Msg: 15
Does it matter that I'm in a wheelchair?
Posted: 3/5/2012 4:12:32 PM
google a guy called "Sean Stephenson". And then his fiance Mindie Kniss. Anything is possible with the right attitude.
 sentback
Joined: 12/22/2010
Msg: 16
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Does it matter that I'm in a wheelchair?
Posted: 3/5/2012 8:12:22 PM
Look on the brighter side. You never have to wait in line ups.
 friendlygirl63
Joined: 3/2/2012
Msg: 17
Does it matter that I'm in a wheelchair?
Posted: 3/5/2012 9:08:54 PM
Do you know " nick vujicic" and today he have life family with somone love him..So you don't should worrie if you never start but first at all you should accept and respect yourself before you wish other accept and respect in you..
 veevee
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 18
Does it matter that I'm in a wheelchair?
Posted: 3/5/2012 9:50:32 PM
I didn't know if my pics in my profile showing me in a chair and me saying I'm in a chair helped or hurt.

What's the alternative - to lie and spring it on them. You know those results won't be better.

Everyone is being really nice to you but you probably know the truth.
Many of the people you encounter wouldn't think of dating you. Oh they will say wonderful things to your face but the messages aren't pouring in are they. They'll tell you to keep it positive and that everyone is going to find their one.

They wouldn't date you because they wouldn't want to have to explain you - your limitations or lack of them - they don't want to take on a cause, they want to blend and look normal to outsiders. You would be something that makes them look abnormal or worse, you might become their pity party and martyr story about how they suffer so just to share your love. Think attractive guy who takes pity on ugly girl syndrome. No worries, they would have left you if this was an accident while with them so good to not even ponder them and let them weed themselves out. The people that wouldn't date you because of the chair aren't important anymore than people that wouldn't date you because you are shorter in a chair. I say you focus on happiness in yourself above all else for best results.
 DSMTraveler
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 19
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Does it matter that I'm in a wheelchair?
Posted: 3/7/2012 11:55:44 AM
Does the wheelchair scare off the girls?

Oh definately.

Woman? Probably less so.

You're 22 ... barely out of babyhood (from my 50+ years) and so are the girls you're probably attracted to. At this age they (and you) are probably looking for someone to have an enjoyable time with and not much more. They're probably seeing how many dates they can acquire on any given weekend and because they don't give it much thought, they assume you can't keep up with them. Or they don't want to be seen as 'different' by dating someone in a wheelchair. Or maybe they assume you can't please them sexually. There is almost nothing you can do (in good taste!) that will destroy these assumptions. I'd suggest you simply enjoy doing the things you enjoy doing. Invite people -- girl or guy, as friends -- to accompany you if you want to expand your base of friends.

Also, you might want to have your profile checked. There are quite a few things to remove or clarify that would make it better. You say you enjoy writing .... couldn't tell by your profile.

Would I date you -- assuming we were the same age? Probably not... but it has less to do with your wheelchair than with (1) incompatable likes - I'm not a hunting/fishing/ATV kind of girl, (2) a lack of anything special about your personality in your profile and (3) something else - I forgot, probably distance, but definately NOT the Yoda tattoo. I like it.

Stroke of midnight -- loved the thermostat and the parking spot comments.
 quickwheelz91
Joined: 3/3/2012
Msg: 20
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Does it matter that I'm in a wheelchair?
Posted: 8/16/2012 5:32:45 PM
dude, i am also in a wheelchair and i have a lot of trouble on here too.. but from personal experience theree r some girls tht like me for the chair, just cant date since they have boyfriends but wht im saying is there are some that are okay with it. In ur profile portray the chair as not a big deal tell them wht you can do, just portray it as an advantage...i kinda do tht on my profile, kinda worked got some replies. definately mention ur in a chair at the end of ur profile, force them to get a flavor of ur personality first , unless ur pics show ur in a chair. it really sucks girls stereotype men in wheelchairs, its like they dont even see us as a person available for dating. and i dont get why girls are afraid of possibly being a caregiver theres home health aides tht can do tht its not even a problem really haha just never give up i guess till it wrks ,thts my philosophy
 OKgirl529
Joined: 10/29/2008
Msg: 21
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Does it matter that I'm in a wheelchair?
Posted: 8/16/2012 5:52:02 PM
I saw a guy in a wheelchair at a bar once and found him to be attractive and looked like he was having a good time...even had a lady on his lap and on the dance floor spinning around! lol. Good for him :)
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