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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > great conversations...a thing of the past?      Home login  
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 noideanow
Joined: 2/23/2012
Msg: 1
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great conversations...a thing of the past?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
i was just wondering if anyone else is having trouble finding an intelligent man to have a great conversation with? so many of them say they are looking for that and then they can hardly spell at all on the messages or the emails, let alone carry any kind of intelligence into an ordinary conversation. or is that expecting too much from these bottom feeders that seem to be in an over abundance here on this site? I apologize if I sound cruel but then again some of the guys are down right mean, so it is what it is and you just can not fix stupid. good luck to all trolling and may you be extra careful for what you wish and fish for.
 Liveinwales
Joined: 2/15/2012
Msg: 2
great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/3/2012 9:37:51 AM
Oh tell me about it! Intelligence seems very underrated on this and other sites, and don't get me started on men who 'txt spk' on an email!

For me, an intelligent man wins hands down over a handsome but dull man. Shame most men here don't seem to think the same...
 Smarts and Heart
Joined: 12/15/2009
Msg: 3
great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/3/2012 9:57:32 AM
Op.....don't write them all off right away. My partner's spelling is atrocious, yet he's a Chemist with a Doctrate degree in Chemistry. In analyzing his writing you wouldn't have a clue. In person he comes through much better, and yes I met him on POF. Writing composition is sometimes a weak point for some men.

Look a little further if someone seems promising. But yes, there are alot of bottom feeders, both men and women on these sites. You do have to be careful and do your due diligence.

Never let yourself be carried away by your emotions or fantasies; that's what scammers count on.
 Plenty_of_FreeTime
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 4
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great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/3/2012 9:59:35 AM
Me and my ex g/f used to lay in bed late at night and chat for a couple three hours sometimes,we called it "turd talk", and it was awesome.
Stimulating, intelligent conversations about a whole host of topics,with very little dead time,until one of us (usually me) would fall asleep.

That's what we probably miss about each other the most!
 tlcme1964
Joined: 8/28/2009
Msg: 5
great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/3/2012 10:02:40 AM
Only when I click with a woman does the conversation flow freely. I loose interest, after ignoring her misuse of words like there, they're & their, if she complains of my use of slang & or a few typos. That's just rude, especially if the meaning & context is easily understood.
 Plenty_of_FreeTime
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 6
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great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/3/2012 10:32:24 AM
I ( lose) interest too!
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 7
great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/3/2012 10:38:18 AM
i was just wondering if anyone else is having trouble finding an intelligent man to have a great conversation with?


Not me.

All I have to do is look in the mirror.

 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 8
great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/3/2012 10:46:09 AM
Op, I have met some extremely intelligent men who had difficulty spelling...heck I have trouble now after chemo toasted my brain but Im on the Dean's List at ETSU.

However, I think you might wish to take your profile to the review forums and see if they can help you or atleast give you pointers on how to attract the type of man you are interested in.

Don't you also think that as many women have difficulty carrying on an intelligent conversation?

BTW calling someone a *bottom feeder reveals more about you than it does them, someone might not have had the chances you had in life but they does not make them any less a person with feelings. Imagine having someone constantly rub your nose in your inability to communicate, it doesn't mean they arent a good person. Their skills might be in another area.
 urgal2416
Joined: 1/15/2012
Msg: 9
great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/3/2012 10:55:47 AM
You, Giggles, are a very nice person.
 mjinict
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 10
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great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/3/2012 11:17:07 AM
Yes she is... Very thoughtful.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 11
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great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/3/2012 11:40:37 AM

Giggles10000:
Op, I have met some extremely intelligent men who had difficulty spelling...heck I have trouble now after chemo toasted my brain but Im on the Dean's List at ETSU.

However, I think you might wish to take your profile to the review forums and see if they can help you or atleast give you pointers on how to attract the type of man you are interested in.

Don't you also think that as many women have difficulty carrying on an intelligent conversation?

BTW calling someone a *bottom feeder reveals more about you than it does them, someone might not have had the chances you had in life but they does not make them any less a person with feelings. Imagine having someone constantly rub your nose in your inability to communicate, it doesn't mean they arent a good person. Their skills might be in another area.

Another good post by Giggles,
Some people equate undereducated with dumb and yet some highly educated people are ignorant too. This country would fall apart literally, if not for the 'tradesmen' who keep the water flowing, the toilets flushing, the electricity flowing, the heat and A/C working, and our cars running. Just because you don't have a bunch of letters after your name does not mean you don't contribute to the general welfare of the state.

Though I wish more people would use the spell check built into most computers more often. If that doesn't get the right word, put it into a sentence and search on google. More often than not, it will give you the proper spelling and word.
 DigitalDame
Joined: 1/3/2012
Msg: 12
great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/3/2012 11:50:52 AM
I've found that you find whatever it is you think you will find. It sounds like you think you will only find "bottom feeders." I'm finding quite the opposite. I have discovered hilarious conversation after about the third or fourth exchange that started out badly...among guys whose profiles I probably wouldn't have clicked. Not everyone can type well or write the perfect, grammatically correct sentence but there are those with insight despite the appearance of their writing. Your reaction to their messages or emails is, obviously, up to you....but an open mind sometimes yields a diamond in the rough.
 That_girl*
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 13
great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/3/2012 11:57:28 AM
it doesnt matter what age or what race some guys just have no real approach when it comes to women an dont know how to keep a conversation or start 1 especially some that are forced to talk about more then just "sex"


....warning if the guy your chatting with wether phone text or email has no conversation an they have already gotten on your nerves,,it wont be any differant in person the differance will be he will still sit there with a dumb look on his face saying the ok ya i dont know or try to jump to something sexual when you havent even blinked an eye about wanting to do anything with him..

i had a meet like this the other day i knew he would just get on my nerves an probably sit there an look stupid..guess what ya after finally deciding to meet he basically sat there on an off looking stupid an trying to advance moves that where not welcomed that meeting lasted awhole 30mins.. im not even going to go into detail..but he had the nerve to call me werid ya says the big dumb dumb with no conversation texting away on his phone an making unwanted sexual moves..
 PamiOakley
Joined: 9/26/2010
Msg: 14
great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/3/2012 6:22:21 PM
It's been a mixed bag for me. I have to admit though that I don't like text abbreviations in emails here (or at work!). At the same time, I recognize a new language is developing. For me, the ability to write, formulate your thoughts and put them into words spelled close to correctly is a signal of maturity. Kind of like my daughter telling people that I have beautiful handwriting and she still does cursive like a 7 year old. I don't think you are cruel at all. It actually takes me less time to type out a word than it does to think of the abbreviation typically used in a text message. Oh! I don't use abbreviations there either! LOL
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 15
great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/3/2012 6:27:36 PM

Oh! I don't use abbreviations there either! LOL


LOL = laughing out loud...

People use whatever they are comfortable with; years ago I hated the abbreviations for texting and spelled everything out. The last few men I have met we have texted back and forth for days and I have found it a great day to get to know someone.

To insist on continuing to do something the *old way vs trying to apply the practical applications on something *new is imho a bit self defeating. Texts can only be so long and the abbreviations allows you to say more; it isnt a sign of being lazy or stupid but rather a sign of the times.
 Ingemouse
Joined: 2/29/2012
Msg: 16
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great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/3/2012 6:41:12 PM
One huge clue as to whether your date will be a good conversationalist is if his profile is well thought out and somewhat wordy. Nothing worse than profiles that appear to be lazy or dashed off as an afterthought. It's the first thin I check when I look at someone's profile, more so than even the photos. Spelling is important, but we are all human and make spelling errors, despite that wonderful spell check thingy.
 Ingemouse
Joined: 2/29/2012
Msg: 17
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great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/3/2012 6:42:50 PM
See what I mean about being human, anyone catch my spelling error?
 PamiOakley
Joined: 9/26/2010
Msg: 18
great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/3/2012 6:52:16 PM
Caught by Giggles. Hahahahahaha
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 19
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great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/3/2012 7:04:32 PM

See what I mean about being human, anyone catch my spelling error?


Well spell check doesn't work when you use the wrong word spelled right.
 Ingemouse
Joined: 2/29/2012
Msg: 20
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great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/3/2012 7:08:39 PM
That's true and typing on an iPad often results in some hysterical errors.
 Wrandy
Joined: 9/20/2010
Msg: 21
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great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/3/2012 7:45:56 PM
There are intelligent people here, it's just a matter of finding them (and the right topic)!
 1388SmartBlonde
Joined: 5/15/2011
Msg: 22
great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/3/2012 9:20:44 PM

Only when I click with a woman does the conversation flow freely. I loose interest, after ignoring her misuse of words like there, they're & their, if she complains of my use of slang & or a few typos. That's just rude, especially if the meaning & context is easily understood.


Ummmm...It is lose, not loose, interest.

I posted something like this and the thread got shot down, but I agree with the OP...there are many people, men and women, on this site who have not read a book since high school or kept up with current events and trends. English is our native tongue but so many profiles are so fraught with typos and poor grammar/usage, it is appalling. Ever hear of spell checker? If he/she won't pay attention to their profile, how much attention will that person give a relationship? The profile is the cover letter for your dating resume, after all.

Bottom Line: If you are not interesting, then it is unlikely anyone will be interested in you. If you cannot carry on a conversation (written and verbal), no one will want to talk to you. If you care nothing for yourself, how can you care for another person?
 not dolly
Joined: 4/9/2009
Msg: 23
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great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/3/2012 9:40:20 PM
JUDGEMENTAL? PARTY OF ONE? YOUR TABLE IS READY.



HYPER CRITICAL? PARTY OF ONE? YOUR TABLE BY THE FRONT DOOR IS READY.


FEELING SUPERIOR? PARTY OF ONE? HERE IS YOUR TO GO ORDER.

 PamiOakley
Joined: 9/26/2010
Msg: 24
great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/3/2012 9:51:51 PM
I wish already (am new to the forums) that there was a like button for posts just like on Facebook. Sometimes that is all I can say is that.
great conversations...a thing of the past?
Posted: 3/3/2012 10:38:15 PM
I don't think I've ever been attracted in my life, to someone who isn't a great conversationalist. Why?
Language and how it's used, is a sort of human symphony, really. Sounds. Tones.
Meanings.
Otherwise, I think I'd be bored to death with people.

It took me a day wandering around in here, amazed by it all, to discover the forums.
From that day onward, I became fascinated by the posters who could write, write well, express honest opinions without caring whether they were accepted or not.

It's a strange thing. I carry on endless conversations with all kinds of people out there in the real world, but it's in here I find certain topics not discussed out there - not like in here.
In here, one can find something a little more raw, a little closer to the bone.
The why of that, might have something to do with the nature of the medium - because it offers a strange contrast.
It reminds me of way back in my college days, when I drove a cab part-time.
The thing I loved most about that job, other than the fact that its flexibility fit my schedule - was the people.
I discovered that people would get into my cab and offer up the most amazing stories, confessions, observations, insights.....truths. Why?
Because my ears were anonymous. Most of them would never see me again. A sympathetic pair of ears offered them up something that fit the mood of the moment.
I became addicted to that.

In here, while people offer up profiles, agendas, hopes, wishes......and set up establishing themselves within a community of sorts, designed as a primer for real world meetings....in the meantime, or instead of - they talk.
Such an incredible panorama of people. All dealing in thousands of different ways, with the same old thing.
I'm just one more. I'm no scientist gazing into a petri dish.

I don't think great conversations have become a thing of the past, at all.
Often they are a matter of chance meetings, encounters...right times and places.
And they certainly invoke the balance of compatibility in people - otherwise what's said is not heard, or not understood, or worse still - a Shakespearean soliloquy.
(I confess! I looked that word up!) But then - I write in a writing room. Dictionaries supplied as a matter of course -

Maybe it's my Irish ancestry. I was raised to court intelligence - not to impress, expound, or pontificate.......but to communicate.
We become as known as we desire to be known. Sometimes finding ourselves chasing after knowings that are denied. Why?
Ah.....that is one of the best parts of the human comedy.

And yet - some of the best conversations I've had - are with kids who possess vocabularies of perhaps, 100 words. Animals who don't understand the nuances, are completely unaware of the lexicon....oblivious to vernacular - and yet,
become amazingly adept at following the thread. How?
By listening.

So ladies, don't give up hope. There are men who not only need to speak with charm, eloquence, passion and all the intellectual curiosities of the ages, but who also understand that without these attributes, they can never hope to understand you at all.
It is one thing for a man to ask, "Tell me a story of your life."
It is another thing entirely for him to listen.
That's balance.

"may you be extra careful for what you wish and fish for." [end quote]
wise words, indeed.
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