| | Needed to vent and grievePage 1 of 1 | Sorry if this is not the place to do this but I needed a place to let out some emotions.
I just broke up with a girl I have been seeing for the last 6 months.
At first it was casual, then she wanted to become serious about it so we became bf/gf.
We were crazy about each other. Then suddenly she tells me she wants to be just friends and date other people to see what see she wants in life. I was very stunned.
I've been trying to fix things and she finally admitted she has been seeing another guy
I'm pissed that she couldn't tell me straight off she off that she was seeing him
And kept insisting she wanted to stay friends while she sorted out her stuff.
Life sucks doesn't it? Thanks for a listening ear. | |
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| Needed to vent and grieve
Posted: 3/3/2012 4:40:27 PM | I am sorry....that blows. And we see it on here all the time. I also do not get why people cannot just be honest. How hard is it to tell someone hey, I am not happy?
It puts you at risks for things too..emotionally, physically. I was married to a cheater and believe me, when I found out...ugh. Mind you it took 10 years. So, consider yourself lucky you only had 6 months and did not marry the wench.
Not everyone will do this. Keep your head high, heal from it and do not date for a while....take some * you time *. Good luck ! | |
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| Needed to vent and grieve
Posted: 3/3/2012 5:11:25 PM | That's a really low class and heartless thing to do, what she did. Selfish too.
You are fortunate it only took 6 months to figure it out.
I know that doesn't help you to feel any better at the moment.
This too shall pass. | |
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| Needed to vent and grieve
Posted: 3/3/2012 6:07:11 PM | I know what you are going through, I had the same experience, we lived together for 2 years. You're lucky she didn't begin to abuse you and put you down like you were a piece of the proverbial.
This happened to me, she was seeing another guy, while I was at work, the acted like nothing was happening, until on night I went to work and came home in the morning to find that she had packed up and left, she moved in with him.
Both of them ended up calling my parents and telling them how worthless I was, this dragged on for 4 months after she left.
It has taken me just over 17 years to get over it and try to trust someone else again.
Count your blessing. You are still young, you should be able to find someone worthy of your love. | |
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| Needed to vent and grieve
Posted: 3/3/2012 6:11:56 PM | | So sorry. At least you found out in 6 months.. She is not a nice person. You should be glad she is out of your life. Hugs. | |
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| Needed to vent and grieve
Posted: 3/3/2012 6:38:13 PM | Listen, "I want to date other people" always means "I have already started dating other people", just like "It's not you, it's me" always means "It's you".
And she wanted to stay "friends"? Oh, good for you! You now get to listen to her complain about her problems while the new guy gets to shag the h-e-l-l out of her. | |
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| Needed to vent and grieve
Posted: 3/3/2012 7:02:24 PM | | Glad you found out early. I know that's not much consolation to you, but it's true. | |
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| Needed to vent and grieve
Posted: 3/3/2012 8:11:39 PM | | Sounds just like my last two sack of s*** ex's be glad shes gone man. Better to be single than made a fool. | |
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| Needed to vent and grieve
Posted: 3/3/2012 9:44:02 PM | It is not fair when someone lies to you and all they had to do was be honest.
I say you dont need a friend like her.
Yes it does suck but in the long run she did you a favor.
I hope you find the love you deserve. | |
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| Needed to vent and grieve
Posted: 3/4/2012 6:32:32 AM | I sympathize with your rant, and laud you for recognizing that you do just need to blow off steam.
On the other hand, this is among the most common ways that people in the land of dating get dumped. As ixtlan09 brilliantly posted, those phrases do always mean what he described. In my experience, it's been true that "I think we should start seeing other people," invariably means that she's already had a weekend of wild sex with her new guy, and is now completely done with you. Such phrases are used often, because they are well established as discrete ways to declare an end to things, without admitting how sloppy one has been in how one conducted their private lives.
"I hope we can still be friends," translates to "Please don't go away mad, just go away without making a scene and embarrassing or inconveniencing me."
It's a bit like someone taking a dump on your living room couch, standing up and straightening their clothes, smiling and saying "excuse me," and expecting you to treat it as though they inadvertently belched in your presence.
Nothing to do, but buy a new couch, and resolve to never invite them over again. | |
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| Needed to vent and grieve
Posted: 3/4/2012 6:35:28 AM | Wow, what can you do but move on I don't know why folks just can't be a little more delicate towards other peoples feelings.
I'm sure if her guy(seeing now) did that to her, she would be heart broken, people don't look at things that we. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
I guess next time you find someone, you will take it slower.
You guys need to really stop going to0 fast, gals for that matter too. | |
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| Needed to vent and grieve
Posted: 3/4/2012 9:24:00 AM | Move on. She lost the right to be your "friend"...she cant have everything in life.
I myself have been friend zoned many times, and have always stuck around hoping against hope they guy would suddenly realize, after complaining to me about his sucky GF's, that the gal pal sitting faithfully next to him (me) is actually the coolest of the bunch.
Never again! Never ever again. | |
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| Needed to vent and grieve
Posted: 3/4/2012 9:36:07 AM | Move on. She lost the right to be your "friend"...she cant have everything in life.
I myself have been friend zoned many times, and have always stuck around hoping against hope they guy would suddenly realize, after complaining to me about his sucky GF's, that the gal pal sitting faithfully next to him (me) is actually the coolest of the bunch.
Never again! Never ever again. | |
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| Needed to vent and grieve
Posted: 3/4/2012 9:39:14 AM | My good man, I would move on from it, I understand its painful for you as your boundarys have be seriously cross and your respect undermined, I myself have been through all that torment and married, I spent too long going over and over it, many of the people on here which post are saying exactly the same thing, Its her loss! she has disrespected you and no doupt she will also disrespect the next guy, Life is about living and being happy and if someone does that to me I cut them dead, no contact as I dont have the time of day for them types of people. If its hurt your confidences find time for yourself and give yourself time, enjoy the things you like doing and things you like to do because its a healthy positive thing to take time out after a relationship break up to find yourself again. But be happy in yourself as many women really appreciate a good positive man because it shows you look after yourself. | |
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| Needed to vent and grieve
Posted: 3/4/2012 10:18:24 AM | You are married.
Get over your past relationships emotionally and legally before rebounding and things may work out better next time.
Was she much younger?
It was 6 months not 6 years and you WILL get over it.
Anyone that cheated on or lied to me would be DEAD to me.
As if they never existed.
I don't get the morning of a lie.
You are missing the sex and what you thought you had, not something real.
You will be O.K. | |
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| Needed to vent and grieve
Posted: 3/4/2012 10:27:54 AM | | well dont give into her . i would not even be freinds anymore . she wants to keep you in the background . do fall for it . i had something happen like that to me . and trust me its not good with your emotions . i would forget about her and move on . it felt good that i told the guy i was seeing becaosue he was doing that to me and i finally told him i move on and i know what your doing and i am too good for this bs | |
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| Needed to vent and grieve
Posted: 3/4/2012 1:33:11 PM | Going over old ground here probably.
It sucks that you had your emotions ripped out of you and this girl felt like they could treat you in that manner...but you will love again and you are moving on, which is good.
Hearts get broken a lot...it's what makes a great hollywood movie and what makes good life experience, but this scenario just goes to prove that you're a better person than who you went out with.
Cut all ties and don't ever try to be this persons 'just-in-case'. Some people dig that whole 'just-in-case' bs but it's not worth it...and your life and feelings are more important than someone who can't even be decent and wants to string you along. | |
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| Needed to vent and grieve
Posted: 3/4/2012 6:12:09 PM | sorry for your loss ...I'm not sure what you were 'trying to fix', but sounds like she changed her mind/lost interest. I agree w/ what xtlan and Igor had to say in this case. I hope for you that you can learn from this experience. The way she bowed out makes it sound like in her mind she wasn't committed to you (?). In any case, feeling replaced with no warning hurts Good for you for recognizing your need to grieve the loss of her and your hopes of a happy future together. Sometimes we love, sometimes we lose, ... always, we learn | |
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| Needed to vent and grieve
Posted: 3/4/2012 8:11:01 PM | And she wanted to stay "friends"? Oh, good for you! You now get to listen to her complain about her problems while the new guy gets to shag the h-e-l-l out of her.
Or you can be 'pro-active' and giver her "helpful" relationship advice that will leave her alone and single and wondering what the hell went wrong.... LOL | |
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| Needed to vent and grieve
Posted: 3/5/2012 5:51:39 AM | Arghhhhhh.....
This can be discouraging I know first hand OP... but you have to realize that the fact that she could not be exclusive to you is not about you.
I don't cheat because I want to preserve my own integrity and sense of self worth.
If a man cheats on me he doesn't rob me of that... he just doesn't get to touch all this good stuff anymore.
Be happy you got her to tell you the truth.... It would not be good if you found out months and months later because you had an itchy crotch.
This lady doesn't deserve someone that can be faithful... she lies and is decieptful.
Consider it her loss and pick yourself up by the boot straps and move on Cowboy.
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| Needed to vent and grieve
Posted: 3/5/2012 2:21:04 PM | | i just went through a break up 2 yrs together ...i feel 4 you.so sorry to hear | |
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