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 beez245
Joined: 12/12/2011
Msg: 1
Chuck Norris JokesPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
. Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

2. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.


LOL.

 dondea
Joined: 12/10/2007
Msg: 2
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Chuck Norris Jokes
Posted: 3/9/2012 12:53:53 PM
Not bad.

I guess you like Chuck Norris!
 WiseBurro
Joined: 11/25/2011
Msg: 3
Chuck Norris Jokes
Posted: 3/9/2012 7:52:04 PM
Smokin' and a sense of haha?

Ever look up the history of how "Chuck Norris" jokes started?
 AtmaX
Joined: 5/10/2011
Msg: 4
Chuck Norris Jokes
Posted: 3/10/2012 4:42:45 AM
I loved the heart attack one lol

I have one.

When Meatloaf sang, "I will do anything for love. But I won't do that." He means he will do anything for love, but look Chuck Norris in the eyes.
 beez245
Joined: 12/12/2011
Msg: 5
Chuck Norris Jokes
Posted: 3/10/2012 6:05:18 AM
Everyone loves Chuck Norris..you have to..or he'll get ya! LOL>
 I_saw_a_squirell_once
Joined: 3/3/2012
Msg: 6
Chuck Norris Jokes
Posted: 3/10/2012 11:18:35 PM
Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
 AtmaX
Joined: 5/10/2011
Msg: 7
Chuck Norris Jokes
Posted: 3/10/2012 11:32:46 PM
LOL That is pretty awesome.
 OopstooLate
Joined: 2/1/2012
Msg: 8
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Chuck Norris Jokes
Posted: 3/11/2012 7:34:16 AM
Chuck Norris once kicked as horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as giraffs.

There's no theory of evolution, just a list of animals Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

The Greeks created the Olympics for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris created the special Olympics for the rest of us.

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The grizzly bear isn't dead it's just afraid to move.

Chuck Norris Facts are the best. They make me roll around on the floor begging for mercy.
 Kentish-Man
Joined: 3/7/2012
Msg: 9
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Chuck Norris Jokes
Posted: 3/11/2012 10:51:16 AM
Jesus could walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land.
 OopstooLate
Joined: 2/1/2012
Msg: 10
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Chuck Norris Jokes
Posted: 3/11/2012 11:01:28 AM
Swim through land...dude.

Lol...that mistake made me Chuckle more than the fact.
 Kentish-Man
Joined: 3/7/2012
Msg: 11
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Chuck Norris Jokes
Posted: 3/11/2012 11:30:31 AM
Pfff, there are no rules in comedy
 beez245
Joined: 12/12/2011
Msg: 12
Chuck Norris Jokes
Posted: 3/11/2012 12:04:23 PM
WOW Thanks guys! Awesome...I think CHuck Norris would agree....
 AtmaX
Joined: 5/10/2011
Msg: 13
Chuck Norris Jokes
Posted: 3/11/2012 3:15:29 PM
When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he is not pushing himself up, he is pushing the earth down.

There is life in outer space. But they will not visit us until Chuck Norris gives them permission.
 riverman7677
Joined: 2/5/2012
Msg: 14
Chuck Norris Jokes
Posted: 3/11/2012 6:34:44 PM
Chuck Norris' submarine is a convertible.

When someone sneezes, God says, "Chuck Norris blesses you."

411 calls Chuck Norris for information.
 riverman7677
Joined: 2/5/2012
Msg: 15
Chuck Norris Jokes
Posted: 3/11/2012 6:36:24 PM
The Mars rover found Chuck Norris' summer house.
 Steiger92
Joined: 10/25/2011
Msg: 16
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Chuck Norris Jokes
Posted: 3/11/2012 10:26:44 PM
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 20 people.....then it exploded.
 RowdyBow
Joined: 11/8/2010
Msg: 17
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Chuck Norris Jokes
Posted: 3/17/2012 2:02:38 PM
If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

Superman and Chuck Norris once had a battle with the loser having to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
 B1gEddd
Joined: 3/14/2012
Msg: 18
Chuck Norris Jokes
Posted: 3/20/2012 3:57:45 PM
Chuck Norris masturbates to pictures of barb wire and broken glass
 SAMURAIGOLFPRO
Joined: 2/27/2012
Msg: 19
Chuck Norris Jokes
Posted: 3/22/2012 2:57:42 AM
Chuck Norris invented the helicopter by executing lightning quick roundhouse kicks.

Chuck Norris likes his chilli hearty, that's why there are chunks of asteroids, molten lava and dying stars added for flavour.

Chuck Norris once had a stare down with Stevie Wonder, we all know who won that one.

If 10 Chuck Norris's fought in a cage match, it would be so disasterous that the very fabric of time and space would be split in half. But that's OK, because it would take only 1 chuck norris to patch it back up.
 a_lonewolf
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 20
Chuck Norris Jokes
Posted: 3/23/2012 12:27:35 AM
God thanks Chuck Norris
 lookingforsophia
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 21
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Chuck Norris Jokes
Posted: 3/23/2012 7:34:26 AM
Nobody knows how much a Woodchuck chucks;
they'll only say 'Not as much wood as Mr. Norris'.
 bigeazzie
Joined: 8/15/2009
Msg: 22
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Chuck Norris Jokes
Posted: 3/24/2012 8:05:20 AM
Chuck Norris is so bad he can slam a revolving door.
 heathbar0806
Joined: 10/3/2010
Msg: 23
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Chuck Norris Jokes
Posted: 3/27/2012 3:32:10 AM
Chuck Norris can turn coal into diamonds just by squeezing his buttcheeks
 SAMURAIGOLFPRO
Joined: 2/27/2012
Msg: 24
Chuck Norris Jokes
Posted: 3/30/2012 3:08:59 PM
Chuck Norris farts, and a forrest fire iether starts or goes out, depending on what Chuck Norris eats. LOL
 Yuuki_Terumi
Joined: 2/28/2012
Msg: 25
Chuck Norris Jokes
Posted: 4/2/2012 5:56:10 PM
Clint Eastwood:Cause god wants Chuck Norris to have nightmares
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