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 ToySoldier_Man
Joined: 2/3/2012
Msg: 1
Women with Male Gay Best FriendsPage 1 of 1    
I'm going to involve myself with a woman who's best friend is a Gay Male. I'm not homophobic but just curious... for those females who have male gay friends... has it caused any issues with your straight boyfriends?

This will be new territory for me... should be interesting to say the least. :)
 OopstooLate
Joined: 2/1/2012
Msg: 2
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Women with Male Gay Best Friends
Posted: 3/11/2012 3:41:51 PM
hmmm...I cannot say that any of my gay friends (male or female) have caused "issues" with any of my bfs.

Though my step sister did come home to find her boyfriend and best friend (male) in the 69 formation.

Is that the kind of "problem" you are looking to get into er...sorry referring to?
 scifichicky
Joined: 2/12/2012
Msg: 3
Women with Male Gay Best Friends
Posted: 3/11/2012 4:00:19 PM
If anything it will take the pressure off for a lot of things. You can watch football while they go shopping!
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 4
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Women with Male Gay Best Friends
Posted: 3/11/2012 4:04:00 PM
I had a close friend for many years who was gay... it never in any way effected my love life/ dates/ etc.
But that could be because I did not have a social life with the gay man... we did not go around in the same circles.
Later after many, many years... gay guy wanted to be more involved in my social circle and meet my friends/ family and when I declined, he ended the friendship in a very immature way.
But to answer you, despite us talking on the phone a lot, having many similair interests/ hobbies it in no way effected me or any man I was dating.
I thought of gay guy more as a girlfriend or sister friend. Not one to go out with socially.
Some thought of us as best friends because we talked and chatted a lot, esp on the phone..... ( about fashion and things)

I think before you decide on your issues with girls with gay friends you should consider if the friend is someone she socializes with. There are friends and then there are friends. I even have female friends I do not socialize with ( except working out of whatever hobby we are doing- not in a social setting with other friends, coworkers and family)
many types and levels of friendship you know...
if he is all in her life and face, it would be like an annoying sister.
How are her boundries with him?
Is he respectful of her relationships?
 Holly63
Joined: 2/4/2011
Msg: 5
Women with Male Gay Best Friends
Posted: 3/11/2012 4:09:36 PM
My daughter's best friend is a gay male. They've been friends for years and mix in the same circles.

Her straight boyfriends have had no problem meeting him and her gay friend's boyfriends have had no problem meeting her either. I don't see why there SHOULD be a problem. :) All are in their late teens / early 20's and a great group of friends all round.

Having said that, I guess it depends on the individual. Some may have a prob, some not. All the best with your new girlfriend. xx
 jeep1127girl
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 6
Women with Male Gay Best Friends
Posted: 3/11/2012 4:22:55 PM
My bestfriend is gay, he is one of my bestfriends..No one I have ever dated had a problem with him. He is gay?? Most people like him, he is very important to me.
 medic5678
Joined: 4/13/2011
Msg: 7
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Women with Male Gay Best Friends
Posted: 3/11/2012 4:23:03 PM

If anything it will take the pressure off for a lot of things. You can watch football while they go shopping!


lol :).
 ToySoldier_Man
Joined: 2/3/2012
Msg: 8
Women with Male Gay Best Friends
Posted: 3/11/2012 5:01:14 PM

hmmm...I cannot say that any of my gay friends (male or female) have caused "issues" with any of my bfs.

Though my step sister did come home to find her boyfriend and best friend (male) in the 69 formation.

Is that the kind of "problem" you are looking to get into er...sorry referring to?


No LOL... I'm not even Metro-Sexual with one exception that probably would not be cool to bring up in this thread. ;)

I'm used to competing for my girl's attention when she's around other women... just going to take some adjusting if there is just the 3 of us. :)

I probably just over-thinking this. But I was just thinking... it will be even stranger if he brings his boyfriend along... 3 males and 1 female... I guess I should be lucky for having mute problems like these.
 ToySoldier_Man
Joined: 2/3/2012
Msg: 9
Women with Male Gay Best Friends
Posted: 3/11/2012 5:05:35 PM

@Holycowwow How are her boundries with him?
Is he respectful of her relationships?


Dont really know. We are just getting to know each other. Ironically he's dating someone in the Army.

I'm okay with being around the lifestyle... just keep her a little close at first! lol
 ToySoldier_Man
Joined: 2/3/2012
Msg: 10
Women with Male Gay Best Friends
Posted: 3/11/2012 5:13:34 PM

@ Holly63 .... All the best with your new girlfriend. xx


Thanks... she is pretty young but after after having 2 very abusive "pretty boy" boyfriends closer to her age... she's looking forward to someone who will not hurt her anymore and treat her like a Princess... which I have NO issues doing! She's incredibly beautiful... a little out of my league but she says I'm just fine... so... I'm confident things will go smooth. I think she's a Keeper at this early stage.

No kids... never married or even engaged unbelievably... this will be quite a change of pace from I've been dealing with the last 2 years or so.

Ex-Husbands are a plague... too easy for them to create trouble.
 ToySoldier_Man
Joined: 2/3/2012
Msg: 11
Women with Male Gay Best Friends
Posted: 3/11/2012 5:15:20 PM

If anything it will take the pressure off for a lot of things. You can watch football while they go shopping!


I guess I could always ask him to pick something up for me. :)
 OopstooLate
Joined: 2/1/2012
Msg: 12
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Women with Male Gay Best Friends
Posted: 3/11/2012 5:21:34 PM
Toysoldier,

I am very impressed with your responses, unlike many original posters you have been very receptive. You will probably have no issues.

Don't worry you are over-thinking it.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 13
Women with Male Gay Best Friends
Posted: 3/11/2012 6:08:47 PM
I can't think of one possible reason why having gay male friends would be an issue say if I were seeing someone.

Men complain enough on this fora about women having friends of the opposite sex, and what could possibly turn them off about it.

I think some people just really need to lighten up, and live some.
 brad29483
Joined: 3/29/2008
Msg: 14
Women with Male Gay Best Friends
Posted: 3/11/2012 7:37:27 PM
She is hoping he will start liking puss one day, beware!
 Sunny_Coaster
Joined: 9/3/2011
Msg: 15
Women with Male Gay Best Friends
Posted: 3/11/2012 8:01:16 PM
So long as you're not the jealous type of the time they spend together it shouldn't be an issue. Don't put your foot in it, don't try to claim her as a possession, let her have her own social life whether that's straight/gay, bi or pansexual friends.

I don't understand the concept that once you're in a relationship with someone you have to give up your friends. Meh... Too many guys treat their significant others like a possession then wonder why their relationship inevitably falls apart.
 Willys Wild Wheaties
Joined: 5/21/2008
Msg: 16
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Women with Male Gay Best Friends
Posted: 3/11/2012 8:11:28 PM
One of my girlfriends in high school had a gay male friend..they were always friends since they lived next door. It was never an issue since he was a little guy and obvious he was not going to put the moves on....
 SaluteYourShorts
Joined: 2/12/2012
Msg: 17
Women with Male Gay Best Friends
Posted: 3/11/2012 8:27:39 PM
i have experience with this. i dated a girl whos roomate was gay. it was kinda akward at 1st ya know id be kinda wierded out if i thought he heard me with her and wasnt listening to her you know what i mean.....still a strange thought. anyway yea i guess it was just kinda whatever after a while. it all depends how comfortable you are with yourself i guess. didnt cause any issues
 1best_woman
Joined: 2/20/2012
Msg: 18
Women with Male Gay Best Friends
Posted: 3/12/2012 7:07:20 AM
I don't think a woman having gay male friends should cause any problems. At least you don't have to worry about them trying to hit on her.
 pitufina_77
Joined: 8/13/2009
Msg: 19
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Women with Male Gay Best Friends
Posted: 3/12/2012 7:15:00 AM
Never caused me problems, but I would never allow anybody to have a problem with it.

Generally speaking, maybe I have been lucky, but all my gay friends are wonderful, wonderful people. People to laugh, to find a shoulder to cry on, to ask for advice, everything. Wouldn't change them for anything in the world.

Having said that, I've never felt like "I wish I could date him" towards any of them. I respect their preference completely, so they would never represent any threat for a relationship with a straight guy.

I suppose gay friends can become the much sought platonic male friends that all women would like to have... And they are great counsellors about the male mind too!!
 boarderdad50
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 20
Women with Male Gay Best Friends
Posted: 3/12/2012 8:19:16 AM
It shouldn't be a problem but I can say the fact one of my best friends is a women who is a lesbian has caused me problems with relationships in the past.

The issue comes down to jealousy and if you can get over that it wont be an issue, look at him as a person and not a label and understand our significant others can and should have friends and can and should hang out with them.

If you do things in groups just focus on getting to know him as a friend and don't focus on the label or expectations based on that.
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 21
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Women with Male Gay Best Friends
Posted: 3/12/2012 9:24:18 AM
Anyone who ever had an issue with a friend of mine being gay...was no longer an issue after I punted them. I dont believe in discrimination and I wont hang with people who do. End of.
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