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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING      Home login  
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 SBM2012
Joined: 10/31/2011
Msg: 1
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SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATINGPage 1 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
I met a a female on here who says she would conduct a full background check on anybody she dates.I dont have a problem with this and I was wondering if any of yall have found women who want some detailed info before they meet.
 Buckets_of_Sky
Joined: 2/7/2010
Msg: 2
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SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 3/13/2012 8:44:04 AM
Is she talking about just meeting for coffee or a quick drink? She may want your SSN to carry that out, are you sure you want to give a stranger your personal information?
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 3
SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 3/13/2012 8:48:13 AM
The ability to do this varies on where you live.

Here in Canada, in order for a background check to take place, the person who is being checked has to sign to authorize the release of that personal information. Jobs which require a back-ground check will routinely issue the paperwork for such with a job offer and a statement that the offer is subject to a routine check being agreed upon and the results being satisfactory. The UK too has similar laws with regard to the protection of personal data.

If I had the ability to do such a check, yes I would. I'm not sure at what stage I would do so as it's not something I have considered having access to before but certainly if things were looking to get serious, it's something I would do if I could.

I have minor children in my home. I also run a business from my house which requires me to have a clean criminal record. Another adult in my home who has been involved with criminal activity in their past has a direct impact on my income and as things stand, I am dependent on their co-operation regarding this should a future relationship be headed into LT.
 prometheus76
Joined: 1/22/2012
Msg: 4
SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 3/13/2012 8:48:34 AM
I would go to my parish/county sheriff's website and pull a random paroled sex offender then send her his information.
 OneGodfather
Joined: 3/4/2012
Msg: 5
SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 3/13/2012 9:12:23 AM
I would say you found a paranoid Female and My advice is to runnnnnnnnn, dont look back, get in your car, bike, public transit or the ankle express Runnnnnnnnnnn as in Run Forest Runnnnnnnnnn

People that needs to do back ground check before they date tells me that their critical thinking skills are poor.

I Know Police men, Lawyers and bankers that could pass any check and some of them are the biggest players and Dawgs on this side of the planet.

A back ground check will not insulate you against a player, user, poon dawgs etc, common sense will.
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 6
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SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 3/13/2012 9:41:23 AM

If I had the ability to do such a check, yes I would.

In Canada you do find it a bit difficult an possibly expensive to do a full background check...
However there are things you can do...
Google their name...
Then try the same thing in Google Images... (for some reason you don't always get the same info in both....)
PIPL is another web service that can find people....
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 7
SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 3/13/2012 9:49:46 AM
Thanks.

I had considered Google before but strangely not in terms of dating and I was completely unaware of PIPL. I'm not sure I would go as far as running people before meeting for a coffee in a public place but it's useful information to have if things are looking serious, especially with the implications it has for me.

I appreciate the information. Thanks again.
 Peanutbutter_n_Jelly
Joined: 11/8/2011
Msg: 8
SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 3/13/2012 9:51:37 AM
Ruuun. Imagine why she's like that. Imagine the nut-jobs she met in the past and made her like this. Do you really want to get involved with someone like that ?
Obviously she has a shtty picker, and as a result she can't even meet other people in a normal way. And possibly deep social issues too.

Did I say RUN! ?
 prometheus76
Joined: 1/22/2012
Msg: 9
SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 3/13/2012 10:06:20 AM

Did I say RUN! ?


This ^
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 10
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SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 3/13/2012 10:15:31 AM
I have no problem with this as long as I don't have to give out any important personal information. If a woman insists though I head for the exit sprinting. If a woman just wants my full name, that falls under a gray area so I go with my instincts on that(Giving someone your full name may be too much information in an age of identity theft).
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 11
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SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 3/13/2012 10:24:27 AM
OP...I save time and carry my 3 credit score with me on meet n greets...that way...I don't have to make meaningless chat as she parruses my report...she'll find my credit score, loans, total debt, payment history and any late payments, and my civil and criminal history...where I've lived...there's enough there to work on...of course, after being asked for this info...any potential chemistry is kicked out of me...I'm never interested and there's no second date.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 12
SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 3/13/2012 11:14:41 AM
I'd tell her good luck right before I hung up.

of course, after being asked for this info...any potential chemistry is kicked out of me...I'm never interested and there's no second date.

This is also an excellent solution.
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 13
SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 3/13/2012 1:03:06 PM

I dont have a problem with this


I do.


and I was wondering if any of yall have found women who want some detailed info before they meet.


Not yet, but if I did, she wouldn't get it.

Relationships built on a foundation of suspicion and mistrust are not likely to be very solid.

 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 14
SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 3/13/2012 1:37:59 PM
"I dont have a problem with this"

Guess, you have never heard of identity fraud or theft. This is the internet, before you meet someone, nothing is real. Further, before you meet, how do you know you want to see them again?

Look, I have met a few, who were obssessed with backgrounds or safety. I told this story recently about ms bond(hear the james bond music playing in the background). She had a friend in a car, waiting when I pulled up. The friend jumped out of the car and snapped a photo of my license plates, then drove off.

Oh wait, it gets better!

Unebkownst to me, she had arranged with the maitre de, to have another friend seated at the table next to ours, in case she needed back up! Hahahaha!!

There was another thread about a woman who wanted to see ID or drivers licenses.

Bottom line, some people should just bail out of online meeting. They neither have the stomach for it(meeting total strangers), or have intense insecurity issues.

Once you meet someone, you see more, you want to date and try a relationship, by all means, SOME information exchange should happen. I would think that would become greater as the relationship moves forward.

But before you have even met? Sorry not gonna happen with me, or many of the people I know on here.

I'm sure women could have run a check on ted bundy or gacy, I doubt anyone would have found something out of order, BEFORE they were unmasked as a serial killer.

JMHO
 10YearsFan
Joined: 2/18/2012
Msg: 15
SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 3/13/2012 3:35:39 PM
ah background check...sooo romantic! sigh
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 16
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SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 3/13/2012 4:41:26 PM
you know with the amount of weird,and down right sick people out there
in a way I can get it
but then again identity theft!
so I would have to vote no on that
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 17
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SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 3/13/2012 5:47:25 PM

I met a a female on here who says she would conduct a full background check on anybody she dates.

just tough talk, i think, to scare away the most easily intimidated miscreants. who are also likely to be the least threatening.

for most people, a 'full background check' means simply googling a name or running it through a couple public records websites. that's the extent of most people's digging capabilities. if you're already comfortable handing out your full name, you shouldn't have a problem with that.

i wouldn't go for it, and not so much because of the dire emotional and history issues other here see, but simply because i don't give out any meaningful personal info for a couple dates.

if she wants to volunteer hers, like a last name, i'm happy to google it, but it's not a dealbreaker if she doesn't.
 silversand
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 18
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SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 3/13/2012 6:20:58 PM
I NEVER would have a few months ago; now however is a different story. If there is going to be anything beyond a first meet, I'm pulling it. In the last 6 months I have dealt with: someone that served 13 years for attempted murder and felony firearms, someone that served 4 years for drug charges, another that served an undetermined amount of time for again drug charges, 1 that went into a speech about how it doesn't make him a bad person (didn't waste the time to find out what for) and the one that suffered from multiple personality/PSD and may have actually believed he was who he pretended to be (a background check would have caught this one.) I don't respond to every message and I don't go out with everyone that asks. To meet anyone of the above you would never dream that they had these kinds of pasts. I have a child and need to set an example for her; these types of things definitely don't do that. This is the internet and we are talking about strangers, I don't want to waste my time or theirs. Trust takes time to build and if you think that a total stranger is going to be honest; you aren't living in reality. If someone can't handle that I don't blindly trust, then so be it.
 wiseandfun
Joined: 1/17/2012
Msg: 19
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SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 3/13/2012 9:28:45 PM
I've got kids so of course I would want to make sure I'm not about to go on a date with a criminal but in my state and being that I'm a paralegal I can run just their first and last name to make sure they do not have a criminal history. Plus as stated above this is the internet anyone can put out anything about theirself but how do we know they are being honest. Plus, for my safety, too, I'd like to know that the person I'm about to meet has not spent time in prison, etc. Don't want to know their credit history or anything like that just that they do not have a criminal past unless it was a stupid petty charge when they were 19 and have grown up and out of that behavior over the past twenty years.
 MetalVixxn
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 20
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SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 3/13/2012 9:52:24 PM
Who actually TELLS someone they're going to do a background check?? LOL
To all of you who said RUN - the world is a crazy place and meeting guys off the internet is a bit scary these days.
 Silver_Sparks
Joined: 1/2/2012
Msg: 21
SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 3/14/2012 3:19:18 AM

I would go to my parish/county sheriff's website and pull a random paroled sex offender then send her his information.




If I were considering marrying a person, YES, I would conduct a complete background and credit check. But before agreeing to a first date?...no.

Dating should not be an interrogation process.
Anyone who needs to qualify someone before agreeing to a date has issues.
If you met someone off-line, would you treat them this way?

Any guy who attempts to interrogate me throughout the first date doesn't get a second.
People learn about each other over time, thru shared experiences and conversations.
There is no short-cut, and even when you think you know a person they still may surprise you. Ask any divorcee.

 UniquelyPassionateCandy
Joined: 8/6/2011
Msg: 22
SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 3/14/2012 8:03:15 AM

Who actually TELLS someone they're going to do a background check?? LOL
To all of you who said RUN - the world is a crazy place and meeting guys off the internet is a bit scary these days.


Exactly! I just google guys that I meet. Up here in Canada it is expensive and hard to do a background check (without a signature from the other person). Makes it difficult to do it secretly But, I look up what I can...Not because I am paranoid but because I do have 2 kids and DON'T want to bring in somebody who could potentially jeopardize their safety.
 Smilingeyes10
Joined: 3/9/2012
Msg: 23
SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 3/14/2012 8:43:32 AM
I personally have done Google checks and images checks, to see if they firstly are legitimate, having experienced scammers in the past. Secondly I do an image check against their name.. It is amazing how many bullets you can dodge by doing these quick and simple checks.

I once traveled some distance to meet a really great guy but before I went I did a google check on him, to be on the safe side, I found out so much about him, even to the extent of his charitable donations and the hockey team he played for... fortunately he was everything he said he was.

On another occasion I did a check on a guy and that prevented me getting into what could have been hot water down the line.. his business ethics and scams he had pulled, associations he was having with undesirable people...

IMO if you have any doubts check them out, there are too many weirdo's out there... especially the ladies, most of you guys can handle yourselves.

I am not saying to those who say RUN that you are not legitimate, but if you have nothing to hide and bearing in mind the number of scammers and undesirables out there in the internet dating scene, what is the problem? and please don't come back at me with Trust issues.. you don't know who is sitting behind that computer screen.
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 24
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SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 3/14/2012 8:51:48 AM
That is too high a price for a few dates that will likely not actually go anywhere...if marriage is in the discussion, then check anything you want...but for a date or two? Id tell her to suck rocks actually.
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 25
SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 3/14/2012 9:14:39 AM
Gawd, some of you still don't get it!

The scammer, the criminal, the con artist and the like, all share one characteristic, they know going in, they need to seem believable. You take the name given you, how do you know it's really their name?

Have you not heard of fake ID's? How about if he says his name is john smith or james jones, there must be thousands of those in major cities. If it is his purpose to fool you, for nefarious purposes, they can and will.

What's next, take their picture, get a friend in the FBI, to use facial recognition software? All this for a first meet or a couple of dates?

For me, and I think the majority of people who are honest about who they are, it's invasive, and an insult. We are supposed to take you at your word, but you can suspect us of all kinds of evil. Yeah, that's a real turn on!

If you see more, and want more beyond date 1 or 2, there will be many other ways to check them out. Meeting some of their friends, seeing where and how they live.

I go back to my original premise, sorry, most of you advocating this, should really stick to IRL and forget online meeting. For those of you who would advocate, being a sneak, and doing it without telling them, that trait will spill over into other things, snooping into their cell phone, checking their mail, rummaging threw their belongings.

If that's OK with you, then tell the poor potential dater, they deserve to know how paranoid you are, and make their own decision whether or not to date you.
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