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 PenguinInBondage
Joined: 2/14/2012
Msg: 1
"normally 1 in 3 messages get responded to" - True?Page 1 of 1    
I'm curious... guys & girls... any age... any religion... any body type...

Out of every 100 messages you send to 100 different people (for example), how many replies do you get?

I'm thinking the "1 in 3" rule might be true, but it's probably an average with girls getting more than a 1:3 response and guys getting lower than a 1:3 response.
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 2
normally 1 in 3 messages get responded to - True?
Posted: 3/13/2012 6:36:24 PM
I think the presumption that women have a higher chance of getting their message responded to is fair, certainly in my age range anyway. I'm not sure what the numbers would be though generally. Ignoring those messages I exchange with friends from the forums and looking purely at new initial contacts....

I would say about 75%-80% of my messages get a response - maybe a little more BUT I send out messages to men within my age range, geographical area and who I can see shares at least two common interests. I also send out messages explaining why I contracted them, and never the 'Hi. What's up' type - I don't send anything like that ever.

I would say I likely reply to 20% at most of the messages I get although I read them all. The two words messages I don't reply to because communication is important to me, it says that in my profile and this isn't a good sign. There are other things that decide I won't reply to - marital status, age, distance etc.

For me, I think the figures I've given are a fair reflection - I wouldn't have a clue how to guess what is a far number for other users as there are simply too many variables.
 PenguinInBondage
Joined: 2/14/2012
Msg: 3
normally 1 in 3 messages get responded to - True?
Posted: 3/13/2012 6:44:49 PM
Thanks for your response! Honestly, I hear back from 1%-3% of those I message. Whether I say "How's it going?", fully introduce myself, or talk about something on their profile.

Why not message a guy back if he sends you a short message? You can give him a look, and if you like the profile, send a message. "Hey, how's it going?" doesn't mean that he didn't read your profile and is incapable of having a conversation. So many girls are turned off by what appear to be "Copy & Paste" message --- but remember, you can't "Copy & Paste" a conversation should you care to have one.
 hoopsnhikes
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 4
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normally 1 in 3 messages get responded to - True?
Posted: 3/13/2012 6:56:44 PM
Probably about 60% for me. But...

I haven't been very actively looking on the dating side here for a while, but when I am, I don't send very often and am very selective when I do. When I read on here about people sending 30 messages out in their first few days here...well, I'm sure if I did that my response rate would go way down.

Also, from what I've read on the forums, I'm guessing my mails tend to be a little more, um, original and creative than most.

And all of that said, while I've never really had a response that was a direct "rejection," some of them are clearly just to be polite, and the conversation quickly dies off. Ultimately, these don't really do you any more good than a non-response.
 dreamfire
Joined: 11/22/2011
Msg: 5
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normally 1 in 3 messages get responded to - True?
Posted: 3/13/2012 7:08:42 PM
I've sent 29 messages in 3 and a half months with 1 response. All, well thought out and individually crafted. These are women I have researched thoroughly before messaging as well.

The one in three thing is probably an average of all users but not a reflection of individual results.
 PenguinInBondage
Joined: 2/14/2012
Msg: 6
normally 1 in 3 messages get responded to - True?
Posted: 3/13/2012 7:11:12 PM

The one in three thing is probably an average of all users but not a reflection of individual results.


That's what I'm thinking.
 MrTombee
Joined: 2/10/2011
Msg: 7
normally 1 in 3 messages get responded to - True?
Posted: 3/14/2012 4:48:12 PM
I've sent.. judging from the "viewed me" page (Before it got shut down for unpaid members..) about 140 messages over a year period to people I would find interesting]

Guess how many? According to POF, i'd be getting 45/46 message back

Its a big fat ZERO!

...

And i've got NOOO idea why..
 Aristotle_Amadopolis
Joined: 12/8/2011
Msg: 8
normally 1 in 3 messages get responded to - True?
Posted: 3/14/2012 4:57:31 PM

Out of every 100 messages you send to 100 different people (for example), how many replies do you get?

Only counting the ones that replied I get a 100%.




I'm thinking the "1 in 3" rule might be true, but it's probably an average with girls getting more than a 1:3 response and guys getting lower than a 1:3 response.

It is the same on both side I bet, the only difference being directed volume.




And i've got NOOO idea why..

That is easy.

It is because you have note emailed someone that is interested in replying.

What you say is completely secondary to that.
 Glenoran1
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 9
normally 1 in 3 messages get responded to - True?
Posted: 3/14/2012 6:03:50 PM
In my case, it's more like one in 10 -- if that. Since I only send out perhaps 10 messages in a year, my response rate is roughly one genuine reply per year. But then, I do live in an area with a small population, so that probably is a major factor. Being 4'9" doesn't help either.

So I'd say the number of messages responded to will vary based on the age and attractiveness of the person sending the initial message, location and probably many other variables. It's like comparing apples to oranges, rather than to other apples.
 ThinkinginCA
Joined: 4/14/2010
Msg: 10
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normally 1 in 3 messages get responded to - True?
Posted: 3/14/2012 6:17:55 PM
Around 4 out of 5. As for responding, I'd say 1 out of 10. I don't respond to short greetings. Experience has proven that those who don't send any substance will go back and forth with small talk. This leads either to tedious conversation or inappropriate suggestions.
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 11
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normally 1 in 3 messages get responded to - True?
Posted: 3/14/2012 6:19:26 PM
I almost never get any kind of response from anyone I send a message to, other than forumites. They are all ones who claim they are looking for friends and pen pals, too. But the last time I did send one - almost a year ago - it was just to compliment someone on a well written profile. I got a response from that one: "What's it to you?" and he blocked me. Too bad, he uses his business name as his screen name. Not someone I'd ever recommend the services of, after that. So I don't send any messages to anyone now.
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 12
normally 1 in 3 messages get responded to - True?
Posted: 3/14/2012 6:32:16 PM
I'd say I get about a 33% response rate, spread over more than 2 years, probaby 50 women. I also get about 2 or 3 women who write me first every week.

I also chat quite a bit with forum folks. I'd say on average, under the old format, I had 9 pages of emails, under the new it's 3.

Look some people do great on here, one guy I knew had an 85% response rate, and there are lots of guys in the 60% range. It depends on your pics, profile and how good you are at writing.

Also in all fairness, there are many men and women who get a very low response rate, less than 10%.
 PrunellaJones
Joined: 1/22/2011
Msg: 13
normally 1 in 3 messages get responded to - True?
Posted: 3/15/2012 7:47:37 AM

Out of every 100 messages you send to 100 different people (for example), how many replies do you get?
LOL

100 message huh? Hmmmm...... I think I've probably in my whole online dating experience sent about 10. Got a ways to go.

But, I think your point is, why aren't you getting enough responses? I don't believe in scatter shot. If I were looking for ms. or mr. right, I'd scrutinize profiles carefully and only send emails to people who really looked like a good match for me--and I'd try to be really honest with myself about that. I've read that 2/3 of all males on dating sites send all the mail to about 20% of the women: the best looking women. Most of those males are just average guys who are ignoring the average girls, the girls they would have the best chance with in RL and online.
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 14
normally 1 in 3 messages get responded to - True?
Posted: 3/15/2012 9:04:08 AM
@14, RIP, haven't we done this twice already?

You heard it not only from me, but cowboy as well. It's not a question of abandoning standards, or writing women you are not attracted to.

I've made it as clear as I can, even on this thread, there is a guy who says his response rate is 60%. As for profile review, yes for some(?) it gives some guidance, for others no help. I can't change anybodys success, I can tell them what helped me with mine is all.

For those with normal looks(not 9-10, but not 3-4 or below) writing to the top 30% will at best produce mixed results, or at worst hear crickets.

I will say this, you keep going back to the picture(key to you), and I say if that's all you do, your results will be mixed to zero. Women can and are more selective most times than men are. Men will see a pretty picture and 19 of 20 will write her, of those 19, some will be too old, others too rude(hy wanna fuk), some outright boring, and many have interests like bowling and belly lint, while the woman is interested art and horseback riding. So she will turn down almost all of them.

The low rate of response happens when guys shotgun emails, an write women they have zipitty do dah in common with.
 hiddentreasureshere
Joined: 2/28/2012
Msg: 15
normally 1 in 3 messages get responded to - True?
Posted: 3/18/2012 9:03:06 AM
I think that the number may be wrong as there are various reasons for example if the person reading is judging you on : what you look like, what you say in your profile or even in messages. As this is a big factor for responding or not i guess. Therefore number of replies are less 1 in 3.

Personally i wouldnt respond if no effort was made beyond a sentence or a one word answers. As i would like to know more.
 Neil_S73
Joined: 12/10/2006
Msg: 16
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normally 1 in 3 messages get responded to - True?
Posted: 3/20/2012 12:18:17 AM
In honesty, I think my average is 1 in 100 but its never a positive response where the messaging can continue.

Its not even as if I don't bother reading the profiles before responding as I always ask about something that they have as an interest in the hope of a response.
 PenguinInBondage
Joined: 2/14/2012
Msg: 17
normally 1 in 3 messages get responded to - True?
Posted: 4/28/2012 3:58:10 PM

Personally i wouldnt respond if no effort was made beyond a sentence or a one word answers. As i would like to know more.


You can't fake a conversation, dear.
So if an attractive guy with a decent profile sends you a short message, you wont reply?
Sometimes it's nice to test the waters before you jump in head-first.
Judge the pictures... Judge the profile... But don't judge a guy's willingness to go ALL-OUT on the first message when you could just pass him by... for who knows why.
 HaloKitty
Joined: 2/1/2011
Msg: 18
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normally 1 in 3 messages get responded to - True?
Posted: 4/28/2012 4:03:36 PM
I'm averaging a 0% response rate when I send messages, so I stopped sending them years ago.
 thewelshduck
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 19
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normally 1 in 3 messages get responded to - True?
Posted: 4/28/2012 4:16:34 PM
1 in 3 eh ?,

the usual routine with my mails is read/deleted
but also frequently, it will be unread/deleted ( after they`ve looked at my profile )
its no biggy, after 15 months on here, i`m kinda used to it now :O)
 richardrom
Joined: 7/23/2010
Msg: 20
normally 1 in 3 messages get responded to - True?
Posted: 4/28/2012 4:33:33 PM
I get a decent amount of replies to messages I send... I'd say at least a third, if not closer to half... but I do read the person's profile, make sure I like THAT (there are a TON of attractive people on here, but much fewer with interesting profiles... I'd much rather have someone that I become attracted to because of their personality than somone I lose attraction to down the road because all they have is their looks!), and then comment on what I like. Humor usually helps, too.
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 21
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normally 1 in 3 messages get responded to - True?
Posted: 4/28/2012 4:35:47 PM
my odds of receiving a reply to messages I've sent to random (non-forum) men are about the same as LadyO's ... and Kari's ... maybe a little better ... VERY LITTLE ... like 2% to maybe 3% ... maybe ... not very many ...

I TRY to send replies to anyone messaging me but sometimes there's just nothing to say ... I get a lot of random contacts from bored little boys who say they think I'm sexy ... WTH? like 22-year-olds ... up to maybe 33-year-olds ... I can see having a thing for a mommy figure ... but GRANDMA? seriously?

if I respond to them, they frequently argue with me ... a couple of weeks ago a 30-something lad sent me 2nd and 3rd responses, finally saying, "oh - do you think you're too old for me? I LOVE sex with older women!" I had to tell him that ... while I'm not too old ... HE'S TOO YOUNG for me ... we have different interests ...

but the responses of mature men I've contacted (other than forum men) is so dismal that I've stopped writing to them ... you'd think they'd at LEAST take the effort to say something along the lines of, "thanks for the contact but I'm not interested" ... something ...
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 22
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normally 1 in 3 messages get responded to - True?
Posted: 4/28/2012 4:40:26 PM
I say in my profile I'm here for the forums, so I don't get many messages. But I reply to all of them.

Some women get a ton of messages, and it's just not feasible to reply to them all. I always sent messages to age appropriate women, so my response rate was about 60%. I read Online Dating for Dummies when I first went on here and it said I should expect 10%, so I was pleasantly surprised.
 darknight48
Joined: 1/22/2011
Msg: 23
normally 1 in 3 messages get responded to - True?
Posted: 4/28/2012 4:48:01 PM
think women get lot more response/choice than men, due to power of the furry magnet lol,most of these though i think low quaility. e.g men not attracted to,after a shag, married ect.men get less responses but better quality, unless you famous,look like brad pitt/lotto winner,then you have same response,poor quailty as women lol
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