| | What do people see in married people?Page 1 of 2 (1, 2) | A well now ex friend of mine who I have been in and out of a relationship with decided that our relationship needed to end so he could chase after a married woman, that lives in her parents basement while she is on the island, apparently is said to not be able to make her own decisions, or care for herself, and has mental issues of playing flip flop back and forth games.
He basically uses me or is what it appears to me to be used as his fall back. Last month he met her and within 2 days they are "together". In less than two weeks it was over, and he calls me up to come back. He knows I have always wanted to go back to him. So I did. Within a week I get told hes going to give her another chance and they are going to work things out.
I feel he is using me, he says its mutal, and that I am being selfish for cutting off all ties with him finally.
So really the question is what is the attraction to married people? And am I doing the right thing cutting my child (hes not my sons father) out of his life because this back and forth stuff if it isn't affecting him now, will in the future. | |
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| What do people see in married people?
Posted: 3/13/2012 6:33:51 PM | | Chick cut him out of your life , he's just using you till what he considers "something better" to come along. As far as a married person goes there will always be more excitement in perusing the forbidden fruit. Normally though once they get them away from the spouse they loose interest . Leave him , cut contact , you son will be better off in the long run. | |
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| What do people see in married people?
Posted: 3/13/2012 6:38:41 PM | | gotta love how people call it a troll post, attention seeking. Just asking a question, and explaining the situation. Never had to deal with this before. THough there is a first time for everything. | |
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| What do people see in married people?
Posted: 3/13/2012 6:41:00 PM | you and he do this
ex friend of mine who I have been in and out of a relationship and she does this
has mental issues of playing flip flop back and forth games.
I'm curious as to why you would want to be involved in this nonsense.
As to your OT, IMO people chase after married people because they want someone with whom they can not truely be involved. It's a form of self sabatoge. Kind of like you... chasing after a man who won't commit.
As far as your child is concerned, I think you are doing the right thing keeping this man out of his life. I would also hope that you would consider not bringing another man into it until you are SURE that he will be a good influence. Maybe consider conseling to try to figure out why you would go after someone like that. Good luck. | |
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| What do people see in married people?
Posted: 3/13/2012 6:43:37 PM | Yes I am staying away, though my profile says otherwise, it is hidden its been here awhile hidden actually. Just decided to come back to the forums.
I figure they deserve each other. | |
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| What do people see in married people?
Posted: 3/13/2012 6:44:10 PM | Cutting him out sounds like the logical thing to do.
He doesn't respect you - no amount of time will change that, so don't give him your time either.
Married or not, it doesn't really matter; someone can treat you with disrespect even without there existing an "other woman". | |
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| What do people see in married people?
Posted: 3/13/2012 6:51:17 PM | He is using you to stroke his ego and fill the boredom when she is not around.......
This is a classic way of men trying to be your 'buddy', hopefully with benefits at his whim, of course!!
Question is OP>>>>>>>how many more times are you going to fall for it with him, or any other guy who comes your way looking for the same thing?????
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| What do people see in married people?
Posted: 3/13/2012 6:54:38 PM | | Get out and don't look back... I'm not really sure what you're asking... Sheesh... If you're asking others for advice on how to handle this, you're obviously not mature enough to understand... Run... Dang.. | |
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| What do people see in married people?
Posted: 3/13/2012 7:01:05 PM |
What do people see in married people?
This guy has been back and forth with YOU, and YOU haven't even asked him this seemingly simple question that you have decided to bring to us on this forum????
Why is that????? | |
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| What do people see in married people?
Posted: 3/13/2012 7:03:57 PM |
So really the question is what is the attraction to married people?
They are unavailable.
Meaning they are unable to really make a commitment or have any kind of expectations.
No real difference between chasing someone that is married, knowing it will fail, and having someone as a backup, knowing you never have to try.
You are both simply means to an end without any type of responsibility, expectation, commitment, etc. requirement.
And am I doing the right thing cutting my child (hes not my sons father) out of his life because this back and forth stuff if it isn't affecting him now, will in the future.
As soon as your child saw the guy, the guy is affecting and effecting him.
Children learn by how their parents behave.
As soon as you had this guy in your life, even if your child never met him, he was effecting your child via how you were affected.
If you are cutting off contact, you are teaching your kid something.
If you don't cut off contact, you are teaching your kid something.
Either way is going to have positive and negative benefits. | |
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| What do people see in married people?
Posted: 3/13/2012 7:17:07 PM | well i dont know how popular it is of being with guy's who do this but i know women definitly value more into "taken" men more so than single guy's.
never hear of much guy's who prefer taken women. i know im not one of them. | |
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| What do people see in married people?
Posted: 3/13/2012 7:39:46 PM | | resounding NOPE OP-really ,THE QUESTION is::::: why are YOU infatuated with a guy who has no problem having an affair with someone else's wife??????????????????? Grow up, look at yourself hard in the mirror and get over it!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| What do people see in married people?
Posted: 3/13/2012 7:48:02 PM | He basically uses me or is what it appears to me to be used as his fall back. Last month he met her and within 2 days they are "together". In less than two weeks it was over, and he calls me up to come back. He knows I have always wanted to go back to him. So I did. Within a week I get told hes going to give her another chance and they are going to work things
Are you sure you aren't using him out of convenience? You know his habits and what he is about. You know he isn't going to stay long and gives you your space. He likes the card game. You are both just cards in a deck. When he loses one hand he picks up the next (you) ... he's just holding out waiting for his ACE ... its neither of you. You don't throw down an ACE. | |
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| What do people see in married people?
Posted: 3/13/2012 8:12:47 PM | | No I am not using him. He is on disability, I help him out, give him things, etc. In return I am just the backup plan it seems. Not anymore though, done with it. He picked this one who is in her 50s, her husband is on the mainland, she staying here at her parents. She is a manager at some chain stores here, so I see him as sort of using her too, as a source of income. She's married he knows it, but shes said she will get a divorce if they work out. She knew about me too, even asked apparently if there were separate beds for us since she didn't want any of that going on. Really just hpyocritical of her, but oh well. I thought by that age people acted like adults. but hey she can have him, they deserve each other. I already told him never to contact me again, even when it fails as she will never divorce her husband for him. I told him its having her cake and eating it too. GOt a husband who works at home, she won't divorce him for a non working man on disability unless she is just dumb. | |
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| What do people see in married people?
Posted: 3/13/2012 8:24:38 PM | So most people fall in love after a second meeting? wow. Nah hes not in love with her. He sees $$$$ no committment, as she will head back to her husband in a while anyway.
I realize I am a door mat. However I don't believe he loves a woman he met twice. | |
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| What do people see in married people?
Posted: 3/13/2012 8:28:24 PM |
So most people fall in love after a second meeting? wow. Nah hes not in love with her. He sees $$$$ no committment, as she will head back to her husband in a while anyway.
I realize I am a door mat. However I don't believe he loves a woman he met twice.
This is none of your business so stop thinking about it. You are driving yourself crazy for nothing. Move on ~ you need to raise your standards. I don't take you as the desperate type that "needs" this man to complete her so don't become that. | |
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| What do people see in married people?
Posted: 3/13/2012 8:29:11 PM |
He basically uses me or is what it appears to me to be used as his fall back. Last month he met her and within 2 days they are "together". In less than two weeks it was over, and he calls me up to come back. He knows I have always wanted to go back to him. So I did. Within a week I get told hes going to give her another chance and they are going to work things out.
This is creepy! A woman who's into a guy who's into married women. | |
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| What do people see in married people?
Posted: 3/13/2012 8:30:25 PM | I realize I am a door mat. However I don't believe he loves a woman he met twice.
______________________________________
Seems youve had your answer all along.....
What else does he have to say to you for you to be convinced, if not this woman another.....but certainly never will you be the ONE..
You like it, I love it....do you | |
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| What do people see in married people?
Posted: 3/13/2012 8:30:51 PM | T e mangoroa
I think you know the answer. He used that poor woman who was in a bad situation and now he wants to come back and use you. Married people are no threat, easy to get and easy to dump.I would kick him to the kerb. | |
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| What do people see in married people?
Posted: 3/13/2012 8:33:57 PM | | It does seem that once the guy has a ring on his finger, he is more desirable to some women. Maybe they want to take him from the wife in which case she is scum or it just that we want what others have. NOt for me. It is a whole lot of trouble getting mixed up with a married guy especially if he has kids. Not on. | |
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| What do people see in married people?
Posted: 3/13/2012 9:36:54 PM | It seems some people like those who are taken because there are no strings attached, and if things get serious, they have a good excuse to bail. others like the challenge of getting with someone who is taken. Kinda like stealing cookies from the cookie jar after being told not to.
But the far more pressing issue is the fact that you have been with this guy back and forth a couple of times. And although you say you have finally cut ties with him, you are still thinking about him and hence writting this post.
The short answer, you are doing the right thing by cutting ties with him and should stick to that decision. Otherwise, you'll end up in the same situation weeks or months down the line repeating the same mistakes over and over again.
Move forward with your life, so you don't end up regretting wasting your time years later. | |
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| What do people see in married people?
Posted: 3/13/2012 9:41:08 PM | | I would think that the real question would be why do you care about him or her and why would you put yourself and your child in this position when you know full well that you are nothing to him but someone to play with??? | |
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| What do people see in married people?
Posted: 3/13/2012 10:22:47 PM |
A well now ex friend of mine who I have been in and out of a relationship with decided that our relationship needed to end so he could chase after a married woman, that lives in her parents basement while she is on the island, apparently is said to not be able to make her own decisions, or care for herself, and has mental issues of playing flip flop back and forth games.
He basically uses me or is what it appears to me to be used as his fall back. Last month he met her and within 2 days they are "together". In less than two weeks it was over, and he calls me up to come back. He knows I have always wanted to go back to him. So I did. Within a week I get told hes going to give her another chance and they are going to work things out.
I feel he is using me, he says its mutal, and that I am being selfish for cutting off all ties with him finally.
So really the question is what is the attraction to married people? And am I doing the right thing cutting my child (hes not my sons father) out of his life because this back and forth stuff if it isn't affecting him now, will in the future.
news flash; you need counseling to get some self esteem. If someone did that to me ONCE they would be erased like yesterdays news.
if he's paying child support you can't keep him away. If he isn't why are you letting him get away with that?
You are being played like a violin. Dump him, get some counseling and pick a much better guy in the future. | |
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| What do people see in married people?
Posted: 3/13/2012 11:49:13 PM | Well since you're here to look for a relationship I assume you have made up your mind and don't conceder him as a viable dating option. I also think you know exactly what's good for your child and don't need any reaffirming.
As far as attraction for married people it's the scarcity concept. If it's taken, it must be good. | |
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