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 fall_blossom
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 1
Are the one's who chase most more serious than the one's who chase less?Page 1 of 1    
Lot's of people seem to fall of the face of the planet even when meets are set up. But...on occasion one individual will continually show interest. So, are the one's who chase most more serious than the one's who don't? Or can these individual be looking for fb's the same way a lot of folks are?
 a_Libra_rising
Joined: 2/29/2012
Msg: 2
Are the one's who chase most more serious than the one's who chase less?
Posted: 3/14/2012 9:00:36 AM
fb's? what is that?

i don't really think those who "chase" more can be interpreted as being more serious. people have strange motivations as to why they do what they do, and most of the time, the reasons are not obvious to others (let alone themselves). in general, i never chase anyone but i'm generally pretty "serious" about following through what i say i'll do. to me, it's all a matter of courtesy and showing how socially responsible a person is if they say they'll do something and then not do it. but then again, that's just how i was brought up.
 fall_blossom
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 3
Are the one's who chase most more serious than the one's who chase less?
Posted: 3/14/2012 9:07:17 AM
Fb's is friends with benefits. I used to write it out like "Fwb's" until I saw it being shortened on the forums.
 SpringsDiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 4
Are the one's who chase most more serious than the one's who chase less?
Posted: 3/14/2012 9:22:38 AM
I would say the ones who don't easily give up on the idea are more serious. They may see some of the same issues that other men see as deal breakers as something that while challenging, is something that can be overcome. There are so many women to choose from, the only reason a man would have to keep trying with a particular woman is that they truly see potential.
 dreamfire
Joined: 11/22/2011
Msg: 5
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Are the one's who chase most more serious than the one's who chase less?
Posted: 3/14/2012 9:39:34 AM
(I suppose it's a matter of individual perspective but fb=f**k buddy and fwb=friends with benefits. The former you ring up when only when you want 'some.' The latter, there is usually a higher personal relationship or close friendship built on trust and social intimacy.)

'Chasing,' to me is a game. I don't play games. Usually, I have found people only chase what they can't have or when the chasee is less interested. I've been 'schooled' in the 'no means no' class, so if she's not interested, I'm done. Plus I have bad knees and don't run very fast so she'd probably get away anyhow.......

I don't necessarily think there is a difference between the two scenarios but merely those who pursue based on their intended goals. I think it happens in either.

(Bake any good breads lately??)
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 6
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Are the one's who chase most more serious than the one's who chase less?
Posted: 3/14/2012 9:44:10 AM
I don't equate following up and following through and being a man of your word with chasing.

But, yes, a man who does these things is more serious about getting to know you than one who is blowing you off.

I have found that a man who is truly interested in you is on you like white on rice. He does not cancel, or if he does he makes sure that you know he is serious about rescheduling. He calls when he says he will. He DOES what he says he will do.

If a man continues to do these things OVER TIME, it's a pretty safe bet that he's interested.

All men want sex. If you want more than sex, it's your job to get to know him well enough to figure out whether he wants more.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 7
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Are the one's who chase most more serious than the one's who chase less?
Posted: 3/14/2012 10:48:09 AM
This is another "depends on how you define it" things.

There are plenty of folks who put tons of effort into simply screwing around. There's a thread here somewhere, started by a guy bragging that he works so hard at fooling women into having sex with him, despite that he really doesn't give a damn about them as people, that he is trying to publish a book about it all.

There are plenty of other folks, who will disappear, or take a very slow and cautious approach to pursuing someone they are attracted to, for all sorts of emotional and experiential reasons.

The fact that someone is willing to pant like a dog outside your door, waiting for the chance to "plow your fields" before running off to pant outside another door, is a well know repeating story line in the world.

So in other words, someone can be very serious about wanting to jump your bones just so they can say they did. The seriousness and dedication isn't intrinsically linked to an emotionally desirable or satisfying outcome for their "target."
 NolitaFairytale
Joined: 10/4/2011
Msg: 8
Are the one's who chase most more serious than the one's who chase less?
Posted: 3/14/2012 11:20:20 AM
Nahh, the guy that chased me the most disappeared the quickest actually! I find if they're slower moving then they want something more long term. They often chase for a 'bang.'
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 9
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Are the one's who chase most more serious than the one's who chase less?
Posted: 3/14/2012 12:06:46 PM
I would'nt chase someone. First I would feel like a stalker if I need to keep getting her attention. As a second thing if I dont feel intrest from her toward me then why waste my time. If i call her i expect her to call me as well. I expect her to ask me out not just me asking her out. If a woman thinks all she has to do is smile toward me as a show of intrest then i'm out of there as I lose intrest real fast. There is no way im wasting time on something that goes no where or dating someone that is very high maintanence in the dating department.
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 10
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Are the one's who chase most more serious than the one's who chase less?
Posted: 3/14/2012 3:21:23 PM
dating pace and dating goals do not correlate. a person can be as serious as a heart attack about finding someone and still date 'slowly' because of other demands on their time.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 11
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Are the one's who chase most more serious than the one's who chase less?
Posted: 3/14/2012 3:38:48 PM
I don't really chase women anymore.
As I'm too busy being chased.
:-)

"Serious" can be known only by interaction.
Not by the methods leading up to it.

There are no shortcuts in dating.
No way to quickly separate fools from the worthy
without mixing it up some.

Best you can do is be cautious and take your time.
If the guy is into you....
he will date you in the ways you require.
That is the best filter you can use.

Good luck.
 darthbanker
Joined: 2/14/2012
Msg: 12
Are the one's who chase most more serious than the one's who chase less?
Posted: 3/14/2012 4:03:39 PM

Lot's of people seem to fall of the face of the planet even when meets are set up. ...on occasion one individual will continually show interest.
are the one's who chase most more serious than the one's who don't?

That's kind of sad if the measure of serious interest is showing up to a meet.


can these individual be looking for fb's the same way a lot of folks are?

Yes.
You will never "really" know what type of relationship someone wants to be in except in hindsight, no matter how much you try to delude yourself into believing you are working towards the same thing, or on the same page.

People that show up to a first meet can be interested in fb's just as much or little as those that don't show up to a first meet.

Seriously though sometimes the chase is a means to justify the image of being a "good" person while still just wanting a validating hole.

It's kind of like asking "are people that overpay for their cars more serious about proper car maintenance than those that back out of a sale?"
 Gertrude13
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 13
Are the one's who chase most more serious than the one's who chase less?
Posted: 3/14/2012 4:07:41 PM
Gotta agree with the other posters...It comes down to how you define "chasing."

In my experience, the men who have been more aggressive, more tenacious...Those are the ones who are only in it for the thrill of the chase. Woe betide the woman who gets "caught!" No thrill for them after that...

But some men are assertive in that they return calls promptly, show up on time, aren't afraid to make a first move. Those might be the ones who are "serious." This mythical beast also likely respects limits, and would not push too hard...

It would be so nice if we could filter them out off the bat easily, though. Would save a ton of time!
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 14
Are the one's who chase most more serious than the one's who chase less?
Posted: 3/14/2012 4:31:23 PM
I like to refer to it as persistence.

If a man is being persistent in pursing me romantically, of course, naturally, I would assume he's serious. The same can be said for me.
 a_Libra_rising
Joined: 2/29/2012
Msg: 15
Are the one's who chase most more serious than the one's who chase less?
Posted: 3/14/2012 5:07:01 PM
yeah, i think the ones who are more interested instant gratification i.e. immediate sex are going to be as tenacious as a lobster. those who are trying to gauge a person generally take time and seem more hesitant/on the fence. it doesn't make any sense why someone who might want something deeper with you may appear like they're not sure of you, but it's probably because they want to be certain for themselves that they're not leading anyone or wasting anyone's time. either way, it can be very frustrating.
 SingleGuy4912
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 16
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Are the one's who chase most more serious than the one's who chase less?
Posted: 3/14/2012 5:18:54 PM
Lot's of people seem to fall of the face of the planet even when meets are set up.

Some people get cold feet. Some people aren't serious about meeting. Some people change their minds.

But...on occasion one individual will continually show interest. So, are the one's who chase most more serious than the one's who don't?

The only thing you can infer by this is that they're more determined to get into your pants.

Or can these individual be looking for fb's the same way a lot of folks are?

Until you get to know them, assume that is their agenda. You'll be less disappointed in the long run.
 im_a_rockstar
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 17
Are the one's who chase most more serious than the one's who chase less?
Posted: 3/15/2012 8:39:05 PM

yeah, i think the ones who are more interested instant gratification i.e. immediate sex are going to be as tenacious as a lobster. those who are trying to gauge a person generally take time and seem more hesitant/on the fence.


Not true at all. The people who are pushing to meet you, are the ones who are actually serious about meeting you. It doesn't mean we're just looking for sex, that can be the last thing on our mind.

You have to understand, you're on a website designed to find dates. The point of being here is to get a date. Anyone who is serious about meeting someone is going to be persistent. I didn't join this site to find new people to have email convos with, i joined this site to meet someone to date and hopefully find something that becomes a little more serious... I'm not looking to just get laid.

It seems like a lot of this website forgets why they're here. This isn't facebook, this is dating.
 Silver_Sparks
Joined: 1/2/2012
Msg: 18
Are the one's who chase most more serious than the one's who chase less?
Posted: 3/16/2012 12:01:50 AM

I don't equate following up and following through and being a man of your word with chasing.
But, yes, a man who does these things is more serious about getting to know you than one who is blowing you off.
I have found that a man who is truly interested in you is on you like white on rice. He does not cancel, or if he does he makes sure that you know he is serious about rescheduling. He calls when he says he will. He DOES what he says he will do.
If a man continues to do these things OVER TIME, it's a pretty safe bet that he's interested.
All men want sex. If you want more than sex, it's your job to get to know him well enough to figure out whether he wants more.




FWB = friends with benefits
FB = f*ck buddy
Yes, there is a difference.
 trinity818
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 19
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Are the one's who chase most more serious than the one's who chase less?
Posted: 3/16/2012 4:47:22 AM

Fb's is friends with benefits. I used to write it out like "Fwb's" until I saw it being shortened on the forums.


Actually... FB is fvck buddy. FWB is friends with benefits. Big difference. FWB can involve long term friendships. FB is considered sex only.

As far as the OP goes...sometimes the ones who chase are simply entertaining themselves, so that is really not a reliable measure of interest.
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 20
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Are the one's who chase most more serious than the one's who chase less?
Posted: 3/16/2012 7:04:22 AM

As far as the OP goes...sometimes the ones who chase are simply entertaining themselves, so that is really not a reliable measure of interest.


I agree...I know lots of people (both sexes) who will seriously chase...because they are horney and need sex, not because they are seruous about any relationship.

Do not take serious interest as being serious about committing down the road.
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