| | dumped my gf, made a mistakePage 1 of 2 (1, 2) | | Things were fantastic for 4 months, she told me she loved me too. After the 4th months things quickly went south. She got mad at me for talking to a coworker at a birthday party for 10 min, left the bar. I had no idea it bothered her at the time, but we got into a huge argument over it. For about a week after she was acting distant and wouldn't have sex with me. We talked about the issue and I apologized if I hurt her. Another week and a half goes by and she's still not having sex with me and acting kind of distant. I told her she needs to get over the fight we had, and start acting happy like she used to. She didn't seem to like me saying that and didn't message me at all that night. I was upset how I she just wasn't happy. Figured some time apart, like a week, would do us good to cool off. She said she couldn't do that, and said if we were to do time apart it would be 2 months. I said I couldn't do that and said it's over. The next day I completely regretted ending things. I feel like I was too impatient, and would've rather worked things out. Now she refuses to talk to me and blocked me on FB. What do I do to fix this situation? I apologized via FB (she won't see me in person, and before she blocked me) saying how what I did was wrong and I am sorry for hurting her, etc. I want her back, I feel like the one who was dumped now. | |
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| dumped my gf, made a mistake
Posted: 3/27/2012 3:01:26 PM | | I've already apologized over FB, would it be needy to actually write her a hand written apology letter too? The FB message seemed so impersonal. | |
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| dumped my gf, made a mistake
Posted: 3/27/2012 3:26:54 PM | No, it would not mean anything for you to write a letter. Look, you seem like you are too easy and this may be part of the reason that she's acting like this.
You have done enough, however why are you on POF, let me guess....the forums only rigth?
Let the girl go, maybe she found you on POF. | |
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| dumped my gf, made a mistake
Posted: 3/27/2012 3:44:45 PM |
What do I do to fix this situation?
Well, bear in mind that you may not be able to fix this...
And if a relationship is going to go sour, the 4 to 6 month timeslot is pretty common...
That being said...
1...Best thing is to go no contact for a while... If you keep getting in touch with her it's like scratching a wound before it's healed... She (and you) need to heal.
2...If and when you get back in touch. Apologise. Tell her you were an idiot.
That reminds me... " I apologized via FB " Are YOU out of your mind????? FB is for kids and the brain damaged to communicate... She won't see you? Not surprised. I would have sent FLOWERS with a handwritten LETTER. Not a simple apology. Too late now... Also, not everyone lives on FB. I know people who only go there once twice a year... She may have blocked you at the first breakup and has no idea you sent her a note....
3...Lose the "buddy" pics on your profile... Are you an individual or part of a herd...?
4...Improve yourself in the meantime... If you want to win her back then you have to be better than the original package or she's got no reason...
5...Never tell a woman what she "needs" to do... Ever.... not unless you plan on her exiting your life.... Oh, you already learned that part....If not... you should have....
6...If you do, somehow, get back together... then you can't hold any of this over her... or anything that happens while you're apart... That includes if she ends up seeing or sleeping with another guy(s)...
7...Good luck...
8...Best plan, move on, and if she comes back she will.... some do, some don't... And it might not be for a long while... months, even years... some people don't get back together after a breakup for decades... | |
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| dumped my gf, made a mistake
Posted: 3/27/2012 3:56:15 PM | Were you just simply talking with your coworker? More information would be helpful.
If that's all you were doing, I don't see why she should get mad :0 | |
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| dumped my gf, made a mistake
Posted: 3/27/2012 4:03:09 PM | | ya the FB apology was super childish, I panicked and figured that would be the quickest way to contact her. Should I still send flowers and a letter after leaving her alone for a while? | |
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| dumped my gf, made a mistake
Posted: 3/27/2012 4:21:13 PM | Wow. That's all?? Does she have jealousy issues? I don't see what you've done wrong. Maybe just let her cool down and realize that she's upset over nothing, if that's the case.
Bringing her flowers and apologizing seems extreme if you didn't actually do anything wrong. That's almost like saying that you did do something wrong and from the information you've given, it doesn't seem like you have.
Talking to another girl shouldn't be an issue unless there's heavy flirting or touching involved. Is there a reason why she'd be jealous of this particular coworker? Otherwise it sounds like unnecessary drama to me! Communication is key in any relationship.
Good luck! | |
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| dumped my gf, made a mistake
Posted: 3/27/2012 4:30:58 PM | | ya very unnecessary. no flirting involved. She seemed to get mad easily over things and always played the victim. My friend told me that's just women lol, always let them be right and put your pride aside. Maybe I was right to let her go? Many emotions going through my head right now. | |
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| dumped my gf, made a mistake
Posted: 3/27/2012 4:35:54 PM | blocked on FB?
That is about as dumped as dumped can be.
sorry.
Next time.....never tell a girl to just be happy.
I know us guys can do that....but the ladies.....no.
Once they got a good misery going on...they do like to wallow in it.
and pull you in as well.
so in the long run.....
she did you a kindness. | |
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tjl503
| | Joined: 9/29/2011
Msg: 12 | |
| dumped my gf, made a mistake
Posted: 3/27/2012 4:36:50 PM | | You know that sh*t just got real serious when they block you from FB. I'm sure there is something more to this, that's why it's not a good idea to have drunk arguments. Delete her from your contacts and find someone who isn't crazy. | |
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| dumped my gf, made a mistake
Posted: 3/27/2012 4:38:22 PM | No, that's definitely not all women, lol. Her age may play a factor, too. If she's right, let her be right, if she's wrong, call her on it.
If it were me, (not that I'd get upset over something so ridiculous), and you'd done nothing wrong at all, I'd respect you more if you defended yourself opposed to bringing me flowers.
You could try not contacting her further and maybe she'll realize that losing you means more than a silly argument.
Good luck! | |
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| dumped my gf, made a mistake
Posted: 3/27/2012 5:11:48 PM | | ya we'll see what happens. I've sent my apology not much I can do now. sending her flowers and gifts will probably just make me look pathetic | |
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| dumped my gf, made a mistake
Posted: 3/27/2012 5:28:45 PM | If all you have said is true and you want her back.. you are ASKING to make your life hell.
Should she take you back,she WILL have you neutered in no time and your balls in her purse. I suppose that could be a great thing if you are down with that.,not so much for me.
Don't come back here whining when she starts leading you around by the nose thru the ring you put in your own self. | |
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| dumped my gf, made a mistake
Posted: 3/27/2012 5:41:44 PM | In your age range, the first thing that comes to my mind is, that before she saw you chatting up that coworker, she already had her eye on another guy. When she saw you talking to the coworker, she had her excuse to start a fight, in order to get YOU to be the bad guy and dump her, so she could go after the new target guilt free.
Sorry, but I think you are much better off continuing on your trajectory away from her. Don't be at all surprised if she appears soon in public with the new guy. | |
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| dumped my gf, made a mistake
Posted: 3/27/2012 6:00:14 PM | If you actually believe it was a "mistake",,,,learn from it. But, in no way are ya gonna "fix" that so-called "mistake". Mistakes happen,,,and ya can't redo(something Mommy and Daddy should have taught ya before you were 12),but, you can "learn".
Ever hear of "live AND learn"?????? Better get doing it. | |
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| dumped my gf, made a mistake
Posted: 3/27/2012 6:04:18 PM | | I highly doubt there was another guy, we were still very much in love, but you're right its possible, young girls get bored quick, shes only 20. | |
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| dumped my gf, made a mistake
Posted: 3/27/2012 6:33:07 PM | | She's 20! I had a feeling, lol. Maybe try dating a woman your age, 25, and see if there's less drama. Find a girl/woman who's more secure with herself and not prone to tantrums. In my opinion, sending flowers& gifts if you've done nothing wrong would definitely make you look like a pushover. She's lucky she got an apology. Cheers! | |
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| dumped my gf, made a mistake
Posted: 3/27/2012 6:35:08 PM | | ^^^^^At 25 we are still talking boys and girls, not men and women. This is there time to phuck up and learn. It ain't suppose to be life,death and drama. | |
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| dumped my gf, made a mistake
Posted: 3/27/2012 7:15:27 PM | I have to say.. I LOVE flowers. I'm a sucker for flowers.. It's sweet..
If you still miss her like that..take a chance on hurting your pride, and TELL her..
Tell her.. in a letter, since she won't take your calls or see you..tell her how much you miss her laugh, her smile, holding her in your arms, etc.. Tell her that you have tried to respect her wishes to just leave her alone, but felt like such a jerk over the way things ended between the two of you..that you just HAD to tell her how much she still means to you.. how much you miss her.. what a fool and an insensitive jerk you were..
Tell her that if she will just give you one more chance, that she will never regret it.
You want to make things up to her..for how you handled the situation, when it was something that she obviously took seriously.. Tell her that you want to take her someplace special and make her feel like the most beautiful girl in the world, which she is, to you..inside and out.. ((The touchy feely stuff works)).. Tell her that you are a fool and you have been trying to stay away, but can't get her out of your heart and mind.. You HAD to tell her how you felt.. You HAD to give it one last try..
..Even at the risk of looking like a fool..
Tell her how sorry you are.
(But don't say it unless you mean it)..
Good luck. | |
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| dumped my gf, made a mistake
Posted: 3/27/2012 7:21:05 PM | | wouldnt that scream neediness and push her away further? She hates me right now. How would you feel if you wanted nothing to do with someone and they kept apologizing and sending you gifts. You'd say he's pathetic right? | |
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| dumped my gf, made a mistake
Posted: 3/27/2012 7:30:38 PM | Lol, seriously?? Doing any of those things would be expected ONLY if you feel you've truly done something wrong, which you claim you haven't. It screams guilty. If she really is just an unreasonable drama-queen, I don't see how she deserves anything, except perhaps getting dumped.
If you play into her, she's just going to know that she can act out and get away with it, not unlike a spoiled child, lol. I'm not understanding why you'd consider putting up with that, except the fact that you like her.
You could try dating someone closer to your age and spending your romantic energy on them instead as they may actually be worthy of it. Good luck! | |
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| dumped my gf, made a mistake
Posted: 3/27/2012 7:34:48 PM | | Yes! Sorry but it would scream neediness! Being a pushover is NOT attractive. She should be sending you gifts& apologizing for her behavior, not the other way around. Move on! | |
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| dumped my gf, made a mistake
Posted: 3/27/2012 10:14:55 PM | | She's being totally immature. Taking someone to a party for less than half an hour and then leaving is not a good reason for a g/f to get upset over. She's showing her insecurities and does not trust you. Leave it alone, someone else will walk the right way into your life and there won't be any of these issues when they're right for you. | |
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