| | Question....Page 1 of 1 | Well i'm back again, with a question. Is it hopeless to try to find a girl here? I mean I know the girls on here must get loads of messages each day, so, she can pick & choose which guy to talk to. Therefore, knowing that, the odds are very very slim I'll find someone, or I may, but it will take a hell of a long time. The sad thing was, I talked to a girl from here before, we were almost gonna meet, then I guess she got freaked since I apparently came on too strong.
Well, see, when your in a loop of message a girl, she views your profile, but doesn't reply. It gets....Discouraging after a while. So, if anyone has been messaging as many girls as I have without replies, of course I'm gonna jump on the first one who does....anyone can agree. It's like being alone for so long the BAM someone shows up. Of course your gonna be excited.
Anyways, I've had my profile reviewed before Hell, I've even done some tweaking, uploaded new pictures, edited the "About Me" section, & my "intent I changed that from "long term" to "dating" & "Seriously trying to find someone" to just "looking for a relationship. I thought maybe that stuff was too strong. Has anything changed? Nope. Now, I don't think I'm THAT bad looking honestly, others may have different opinions but I truly don't think I'm an ugly guy.
I've sent the nicest messages in the world, been polite as can be, trying to show them that we share common interests & such, & I get no replies at all. It's become such a routine that I come on here & say "Oh Inbox is empty no mail, what else is new?" Point is, am I wasting my time on here? Am I an ugly son of a b**** or something? Or is the chance of finding a girl slim because there are just soooo many guys on here? I think the latter is true. I'd write more but I gotta leave for work....
~Chris | |
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Posted: 3/29/2012 6:59:27 PM | | Huh. I can't see anything wrong with your profile. I dunno, be persistent, and IMO, don't spend a ton of time on email, try to meet up soon if possible because then you will know if there really is chemistry. But I am totally not in your age bracket so I do not know what the young ones are after these days. LOL. Good luck! Maybe try getting out and doing things via meetup.com and meeting people in real life if this site isn't doing it for you! | |
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Posted: 3/29/2012 8:00:50 PM | I gave you the message template in your earlier profile review request (no need to start a new one, simply post in the original to 'bump' it).
A main photo should have a big smile. You have great teeth, as we can see in the photo with your brother on the boat. Work that.
Add a couple more specific Interests, like a favourite music group, comedian, or TV show.
There's nothing really inherently wrong with your profile, this process just takes time and patience. Try also the other free adult online dating sites, too. | |
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Posted: 3/29/2012 8:28:10 PM | | Woops, my bad, sorry :-/ | |
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Posted: 3/29/2012 8:33:01 PM | | I think the guy to girl ratio on here is probably over 5 to 1. My eX turned me on to this site. She logs on and within a minute she gets several new messages, views, and meets. I log on and get "crickets". lol. | |
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Posted: 4/27/2012 7:31:24 AM | Well I thought I'd go with the newest thread I made. Alright, so, I've come to the end of my rope here pretty much. I was just talking to a girl on the 24th of April (yes one actually replied to my message, it's a miracle!) she said "Sure we can meet! Just say when & where!" So I thought "wow! she replied & wants to meet? That's amazing!" but you know the old saying "If it feels too good to be true, it probably is"
Seems that saying is true. I messaged here asking her a few questions to try & get to know her better, that was 4 days ago now. Sent her one, waited a whole day, sent another asking why she hasn't replied. Nothing. I'm sick & tired of this, they say so many people meetup on here, I'm thinking that's just a load of crap to get people to join. I've tired everything, editing my profile, pictures, all of it. I guess if your ugly nothing can make you look good eh? I know for a fact I'm not THAT bad looking. Perhaps someone thinks otherwise. I find it hard to believe over 200 girls think that though. Just really pisses me off, gets my hopes up so high then "cricket chirps" Why the hell did she even bother to message me in the first place? I thought maybe it was something I said, but going over the messages I can't see anything wrong.
I even said "if it was something I said, I don't care, I'd just appreciate a reply" How long does it take to type up a message saying "Hey, sorry I've just been too busy to reply that's all" (took me about 5 seconds to type that) you can't tell me she's too busy to even take 5 seconds to write up that short of a reply.... -_-
Been on here over half a year, haven't been on a single date yet. Hell, haven't even met a single girl from this site yet! I've tried to just shrug it off as beginners luck or whatever but, it's come to this point where this is BS. I'm sure if she were in my shoes she'd act the same way. On here with an inbox that's empty for months then finally someone repleis & says they want to meet! I'm sure she'd jump at the opportunity. Perhaps I jumped a little to far, but even so, at least reply & say "Yeah you sort of overwhelmed me." Simple, I'd take note & learn from that...
I have no idea how my brother got so lucky on this site. No idea... | |
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Posted: 4/27/2012 8:29:50 AM | Sure the hunks get more chicks so what? Don't put your looks down you look fine.
I have been dating for decades between marriages, I have learned a few things common to all of us guys at any age.
Women that seem interested, often just disappear but it's not always you, it's usually another reason that you will never find out. Like more interest in another prospect or someone that just lives close by has written to them, husband or old boyfriend returned etc.
My basic premise is to write very personalized sincere letters to those you fancy. You also need to work a few sites at once, about 3 or 4 works for me. It's not easy for us guys, and don't think it's easy for the girls either. They stay on here just as long, and don't find anyone right away, regardless of packed mail boxes.
I found that the more I do to understand women and relationships in general the easier it is.
It's not like ya get to give up. | |
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Posted: 4/27/2012 2:02:19 PM | | Yes, your right, forgive me for my earlier outburst, that's not usually how I act. I'm usually a very gentle passive guy. It's just, stuff gets to the boiling point after a while & then I can't contain it any longer. Anyways, I just got off work so, time to relax. I would rather not think about my bad luck on here right now. Thanks for the concern though! | |
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Posted: 4/27/2012 3:17:54 PM | | Remove the first photo and the last two from your profile and either make the one of you and your broo or the one next to it your main picture. You're not a bad looking guy but those two are the best and yes many women will judge by the pictures first whether they want to read the rest. JMO | |
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Posted: 4/29/2012 7:17:40 AM | Alright, whats going on here? I thought this site was free? Have the developers gotten more greedy? First they remove the option to see if the user read your message, now they removed the option to see if they were even online?!?!?!? What's up with that garbage? What if I message someone who hasn't been on in over a month? How am I supposed to know?
That, for me, was the main thing I looked at, when the user was last online. If that's gone, what do I have left? Not much. People are greedy, my gosh.....I'm sure they have enough money that they don't need to keep taking stuff away. If they remove anymore stuff, I might as well just delete my account. How are you supposed to use this site if everything is "hidden"? I only work part time & I sure as hell am not gonna pay money to use this site.
Oh, & I'm talking about after you send a message, in your "sent" folder, there was a thing that said "Last online" Now that's "hidden"
As if paying money will actually improve my chances...I see people who pay money on here, they don't seem any better off than me. I bet, if I was foolish enough to pay, I'd still be in the same boat I am right now. That's just a money grab. What else can they take away, lets see....Oh! they might take away the option of being able to see the user's pictures! -_- | |
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Posted: 5/5/2012 9:02:16 AM | So yes, now that the ability to see when the person was last online is hidden, this site has pretty much become useless. I "was" talking to a girl, she says she's busy but, I can't tell when she was last onlnine. What if she wasn't online for a few days? I have no means to tell. Or, she could have been onlnie a few hours ago & is just avoiding talking to me. Again, can't tel because it's hidden.
The site developers are becoming more & more greedy. Don't they have enough money? As I said before, I can't afford to pay money for this site. I work "part time" & I only make 10.25$/hour. & I've got other things to spend my money on, getting my car ready for the road for example. My schooling, etc... Looks like I might as well just close up shop. Why be here if my chances of finding someone are less than before? | |
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Posted: 7/4/2012 7:02:37 AM | So....I went & asked a bank teller if she wanted to go out for a coffee sometime, so she gave me her email & said sure. I got an email back saying she already has a boyfriend. I found that quite odd, did she forget she had one? Usually you don't agree to go out for coffee if your already with someone. Anyways, the moral of the story is this, it seems girls in the real world are more willing to give there email out to a complete stranger, whereas girls on this site aren't even willing to reply to a message. So, it seems the real world is the place to go. If girls on this site are too stuck up or proud to reply, well, that's their loss. I'm a very good looking guy, & I'm sure any girl would take me.
It's jsut the girls on this site think they are goddesses & "don't have to reply" to messages. I know they must get tons of messages, but if your not gonna bother replying to them, why are you on here then? What's the point of being here if your not willing to reply to any messages? Yeah, this site is something else that's for sure. I'll stay here until I reach my 1 year mark, then I'll most likely remove my account (my one year mark is in September. This site has been nothing but a waste of time. Close to 400 sent messages, & less than 10 replies. Terrible. | |
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Posted: 7/4/2012 7:37:49 AM | Your attitude leaves much to be desired.
Look, no one owes you a reply. That, itself, is a response. You cannot dictate as whom will and will not reply to your msgs.
If you sent a msg and there's no reply, they didn't like your msgs, or your pics or your profile, OR all of the above.
As for the bank teller, maybe she had a change of mind and didn't want to go for coffee with you after all. Perhaps the, "I have a boyfriend." was to just get you to hell out of her hair.
I'm a very good looking guy, & I'm sure any girl would take me.
Looks are very subjective. And if 'any girl would take you', apparently not, since you're being turned down left, right and center.
You're coming across as frustrated, jaded and angry. Stop that. Simply move on and stop moaning. If a dating site is getting you pissed off, then you're too thin skinned and not cut out for it.
What's your initial msgs like to women anyway?
10% of returned msgs is a good beginning. | |
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Posted: 7/4/2012 1:34:58 PM | I love the car! (But, it's not a suitable photo by PoF standards.) I also appreciate your ambition and your care for others.
I wish you well in your studies, your intercultural relations, and in your search for a nice partner. | |
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Posted: 7/8/2012 8:38:31 AM | Thank you! :-) Yeah, the car was my dad's but he offered it to me if I wanted. It's in great shape for being 24 years old I think. It's got over 352,000 miles on it. Newer engine was installed with only 86,000 on it (probably has just over 100k by now) so it'll last a while I'm sure.
As far as messages go, I'll copy & paste one I just sent.....
"You like being outdoors? Me too. Summer is a great time to be outside, but you can also do that in the winter. Mind you it's a little colder haha. Your going to school for nursing? That's cool! It's half the battle when you get into a career you love.
Take me for example, I'm getting into computer repair. I built my own computer last Christmas & I loved that, also I'm a geek I guess :P
Care to talk? I'd love to get to know you better! :-)
~Chris"
I think it's a very light message, not that heavy. Is my messages were I'm going wrong? | |
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Posted: 7/8/2012 8:45:15 AM | Not bad!
RE: initial msgs to women.
Don't ask the woman out for a meet/her phone number immediately. It's coming off as a tad desperate and it's creepy.
Ask her one or two questions based on her profile. Do not bombard her.
Don't rattle on and on about yourself.
Keep it light.
Add a touch of humour.
Don't comment on her physical attributes.
Don't ask/beg her to reply/check you out. | |
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Posted: 7/8/2012 8:47:13 AM | This is why the site asks you not to post multiple threads in the same forum... We had this discussion in your other thread. Below I've cut and pasted my response to refresh you:
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Whats the issue? I cant see it
Posted: 2/21/2012 6.24 PM
Chris - you really need closeup smiling picture - similar to the one with you and your brother. Remove the webcam photos.
Do NOT use the chat feature. It annoys the heck out of women and interrupts them when they're trying to read messages.
My husband is a 'nice guy' and I met him here. Don't get jaded.
In case it helps, I'm going to add some notes I made from another thread on sending first messages. The guy had "Fishing" as an Interest:
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Try this template which may help you get over the 'writer's block' for first messages:
Message: 3-4 sentence at most, light humoured, including 1 question only so she has an easy way to respond. Sign only your first name.
Do not say:
- Hi, Hey, Hello or How are you (wastes time)
- I read your profile (should be obvious)
- you're cute/pretty/beautiful (creepy in a first message)
- let's meet up for .... (again, creepy/pushy in a first message)
- check me out and email me back ( they know what to do already)
- hope to hear from you soon (sounds like begging/desperate)
Don't blather on about yourself - your profile is supposed to give information about you.
If I were writing to you, I'd use the specific interest of Fishing. Actually, that is the exact interest I used when I first wrote to my (now) husband.
Message: I just learned how to fly fish, but haven't actually caught anything yet. I much prefer spincast river fishing - fewer casualties! Have you been out yet this season? YGF
See? No pressure, obviously I read your profile, open a conversation, easy way to respond if you choose. | |
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Posted: 7/11/2012 12:48:02 PM | | Posted a new "Main Image" Just took this today. Thoughts? | |
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Posted: 8/21/2012 9:42:48 PM | Well...I love the lack of responses! I'm starting to think of just ditching this place, call it quits. I've put pretty much a whole year into it,what have I gotten back? Nothing but girls who talk to me for a while then suddenly disappear. That actually happened to me just recently, I "was" talking to a girl on here, was going alright I thought, then nothing....silence...what the hell is that? I find this site tends to "ruin the moment" so to speak. Example...I just went for my G driver's license today, passed it, I was so happy I had passed. Go on here, see no new messages, or anything, brought me down.
So I ask you, is this site for real? or is it just a place to go to just to piss around & waste time? simple example, here I am typing this up, "wasting time" I could be doing other things, but no...I gotta type here & vent about the crappy luck I'm having. I'm beginning to think all that stuff about "success stories" is just a bunch of BS to fish people into joining the site. Then, once they've joined, if they are any kind of person, they'll stay for a while, try their luck. What is this? The lottery?
I'm not a jerk, I'm very easy going....I'd be with a girl I know from work if only she was single (she had agreed to go to a movie with me forgetting to mention she had a boyfriend) So...if girls talk to me in real life, enough to agree to go out with me, that tells me that "I'm" not the issue here. not my looks, or anything. It's the girls on here, most of whom are stuck up I imagine. Looking for attention. sure, you get maybe one or two who reply to your messages & actually carry a conversation, but eventually they WILL ditch you. Had one girl, talked to her, but she left me when she turned lesbian I guess...Is that who are on here? Crazy girls, lesbians, or stuck up girls? Seems like it....I'd love to be proved wrong....Sad thing is, I won't. | |
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Posted: 8/21/2012 10:15:33 PM | | You're right. Some people are not meant for these sites. Bye, Chris. | |
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Posted: 8/22/2012 7:19:53 AM | You are not the right age group to be here. Too much competition. Get out in real life and make an effort to meet people in your every day activities.
Firefly | |
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