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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > The difference between "dating exclusively" and "boyfriend/girlfriend      Home login  
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 DanceyFace
Joined: 2/27/2012
Msg: 1
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The difference between "dating exclusively" and "boyfriend/girlfriend"?Page 1 of 1    
I'm curious if any of you guys feel there is any substantial difference between dating a girl exclusively and being her boyfriend?

Part of me feels there's no difference since we act like BF/GF; however, there seems to be a distinction made during conversations with my....well, the guy I'm dating exclusively.

We've been exclusive since the beginning (2 months ). It was established early on that neither of us date multiple people at the same time and that we will be/are exclusive.

As I said, a distinction is made occasionally when we talk. For instance, during conversation, he might say "I like to do XYZ with my girlfriend...or the girl I'm dating..."

In the big scheme of things, it's not a big deal - but I am curious. Before I ask him his thoughts, I am looking for opinions on whether you guys make this distinction yourselves.

Thanks!
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 2
The difference between dating exclusively and boyfriend/girlfriend?
Posted: 3/30/2012 4:52:49 AM
Holy crap that's a whole lot of mess tied up with the definition of labels. Who cares what other people do or how they label things ?

Is the purpose for your question to clarify your position in your relationship ? If so, a thousand interpretations of a labels meaning is not going to help. You need to converse with him and make sure you are on the same page and if not, see if you can get there. Forget the labels - they don't matter. The intent is more important.
 kja71
Joined: 12/21/2011
Msg: 3
The difference between dating exclusively and boyfriend/girlfriend?
Posted: 3/30/2012 5:08:12 AM
You've been with him for 2 months....Stop trying to name it. Just go with it. If you over think it you're going to ruin it.
 Twitch369
Joined: 1/17/2012
Msg: 4
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The difference between dating exclusively and boyfriend/girlfriend?
Posted: 3/30/2012 5:14:59 AM
Dating exclusively is the definition of boyfriend/girlfriend. That's a relationship. Now you guys are making labels for the labels and getting them all confused.
 DanceyFace
Joined: 2/27/2012
Msg: 5
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The difference between dating exclusively and boyfriend/girlfriend?
Posted: 3/30/2012 5:16:48 AM
I am curious if other guys make the same distinction since I've been out of the dating scene for an embarrassingly long time. It's really not a whole lot of mess. But I do appreciate the thoughts. I'll try not to think too much about labels. I would agree that they don't mean much.
 walkingtall37
Joined: 3/26/2012
Msg: 6
The difference between dating exclusively and boyfriend/girlfriend?
Posted: 3/30/2012 5:30:59 AM
I wouldn't worry about it as others have said. No reason to bring it up if things are going well and there isn't a concern that he's seeing other people anyways.

I've had the discussion many times but to be honest I don't think I've ever actually used the term "mutually exclusive" outside of these message boards.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 7
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The difference between dating exclusively and boyfriend/girlfriend?
Posted: 3/30/2012 7:16:21 AM
It's semantics. Don't get hung up on the trivial details.
 Jazzplenty2012
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 8
The difference between dating exclusively and boyfriend/girlfriend?
Posted: 3/30/2012 7:19:58 AM
Sorry but just curious, how old are you? No I'm not trying to be rude!!! Remember communication is key!!! Talk to your boyfriend to get things squared away!!! Or did he say or do something to make you think he isn't as serious as you are? Talk things out with him
 DanceyFace
Joined: 2/27/2012
Msg: 9
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The difference between dating exclusively and boyfriend/girlfriend?
Posted: 3/30/2012 8:37:43 AM
Um yeah, it's exactly what I detailed in my initial post. I'm curious if other guys make a distinction between the 2 expressions.

Thanks for the thoughts.
 neck romancer
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 10
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The difference between dating exclusively and boyfriend/girlfriend?
Posted: 3/30/2012 9:24:59 AM
I treat those as the same thing.. but I could see how someone might distinguish them. I would guess someone who said "we are dating exclusively" are trying to leave a backdoor for themselves but still keep you tied up just for the mean time till they know for sure about you.
 SomeStrangeMan
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 11
The difference between dating exclusively and boyfriend/girlfriend?
Posted: 3/30/2012 10:22:10 AM
If you're boy and girlfriend, you might have agreed to have an open relationship, or some more kinky/alternative lifestyle.

Exclusivity means that you won't date anyone else.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 12
The difference between dating exclusively and boyfriend/girlfriend?
Posted: 3/30/2012 10:48:24 AM
There's quite a bit of difference. Dating exclusively means you go out on dates with only one person at a time, presumably for as long as it takes to figure out whether or not you can stand the person enough to be in a relationship. You become bf/gf when you don't have to call up for dates and you just assume that you'll be spending time together except when one of you has something planned for which the other cannot be included for some reason. In other words, when you are in a relatiomship, you arem't dating. The default is to spend your time together when possible, not ask for a date and wonder if the answer will be yes. The exclusivity only means that when you ask for a date and the answer is ``I'm busy that night,'' that ``I'm busy that night'' doesn't mean ``I'm busy boinking someone else that night.''

Dating exclusively is the definition of boyfriend/girlfriend.

That's news to me. I didn't date anyone who was looking for a relationship unless she was willing to date exclusively while deciding whether or not a relationship might come from it. All it meant was that we weren't going to be going out on dates and/or sleeping with anyone else while we were waiting to see what happened with respect to a relationship. Every woman I met also had more or less the same idea about that as I did. Those two things are not the same thing. It is also possible to be bf/gf without being exclusive if two people are into that.
 Mr_Revolutionz
Joined: 3/10/2012
Msg: 13
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The difference between dating exclusively and boyfriend/girlfriend?
Posted: 3/30/2012 12:32:43 PM
Sounds to me like someone isn't sure what they want. I'm a guy, to be honest I quite like labels. The whole "dating exclusively" does not mean I'd have a girlfriend. I personally see that a boyfriend / girlfriend label as a more committed term.

The gentleman above me I think has similar thoughts to myself, but is rather more talented in explaining them.
 DanceyFace
Joined: 2/27/2012
Msg: 14
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The difference between dating exclusively and boyfriend/girlfriend?
Posted: 3/30/2012 12:44:52 PM
Thanks Abelian and Mr. R,

I appreciate your input. I'd thought there was a difference in the 2 as well. Good to know I'm not alone.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 15
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The difference between dating exclusively and boyfriend/girlfriend?
Posted: 3/30/2012 12:57:06 PM
I want to be exclusive when dating someone and adding intercourse to the mix, and I would prefer that she does the same.....but......that does not necessarily make us the dreaded girlfriend/boyfriend thing, it just means that we are enjoying each other to the point of having sex and that we care enough for each other and ourselves to do that exclusively.

To place labels on things like this just is a turn off to me. You should know what you are in my life and how we have defined it, and unless we are moving in together or getting married, it is no ones business but ours, how we define it.

cd......
 SirDorksAlot
Joined: 12/8/2011
Msg: 16
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The difference between dating exclusively and boyfriend/girlfriend?
Posted: 3/30/2012 1:05:08 PM
Dating exclusively is just dating one person at a time for a short period...
If its slightly more than just dating then... its just a fling.

Two people make it official by talking about it and agreeing to a relationship together officially.

Both of you need to open up, talk and communicate about being together in a relationship. jeeez wtf is soo hard about that?
 sfm_615
Joined: 3/10/2012
Msg: 17
The difference between dating exclusively and boyfriend/girlfriend?
Posted: 3/30/2012 1:09:56 PM
I think there is a difference. For some, choosing to date someone exclusively happens once sex is involved. If you have sex with someone after 3-4 dates, does that make you a boyfriend/girlfriend? Do you want the other person to have sex with other people while they have sex with you? The two of you may also choose be exclusive out of respect for one another and safety.
Also you may really like someone. You may choose to see them exclusively to see how things progress without without the distraction of dating anyone else.

Boyfriend/Girlfriend I think it when you know there is more there than just dating. You know there is some sort of relationship forming and there are true feelings and emotions involved.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 18
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The difference between dating exclusively and boyfriend/girlfriend?
Posted: 3/30/2012 1:59:15 PM
Exclusivity = boyfriend/girlfriend

Some people will try to twist and squirm obnoxiously that there is a "difference", but reality is that is not the case. Exclusivity talk? No one realistically does that, but people often talk about if they want to become girlfriend/boyfriend. Exclusive sexual partner? that is FB or FWB. If there is romantic interest along with sexual chemistry than that is what you call a boyfriend/girlfriend.



 Skyfireshogun
Joined: 5/6/2010
Msg: 19
The difference between dating exclusively and boyfriend/girlfriend?
Posted: 3/30/2012 2:13:01 PM
Some people don't like the words girlfriend or boyfriend. They think it sounds so high school.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 20
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The difference between dating exclusively and boyfriend/girlfriend?
Posted: 3/30/2012 2:22:27 PM
I myself see the labels of "dating exclusively," and "boyfriend/girl friend" to be referencing two almost entirely separate things.

I have known tons of people, including right here in these very forums, who have talked about having more than one boyfriend or girlfriend. All that that set of labels has to do with, is to identify someone simultaneously by their sex, and by the general kind of relationship that you have with them. If you are spending time and energy with them, but have no interest in them being any sort of a mate, then they are just called "friend." In fact, I suggested to my sons, that they could help ME avoid confusion when they talk about their female acquaintances, if they would use "girlfriend" to indicate romantic interest of some sort, and use "friendgirl" to indicate that the gal is literally just a friend.

Anyway... since many people do have more than one boyfriend or girlfriend, the term "dating exclusively" means something entirely different. If anything, people begin as acquaintances, move to "dating," with "bf/gf" labels being applied after they have established that they no longer have to show ID before asking each other out. When they then move on to "getting serious," and want to establish exclusivity, then they add that separate label, almost like a Scout Achievement badge, to any existing labels they've already applied.


Bottom line, with reference to your area of interest OP, never assume anything each of you say means the same thing, until you verify that it does.

There has never been any such thing as a truly authoritative source for the meanings of any word. The more critical it is that you agree on meanings, the more imperative it is that you create your own agreed upon glossary of terms.

Lots of manipulative and/or irresponsible people will try to use word definition differences to get you to do things you ordinarily wouldn't or to side step their real responsibility for what ever they do. Therefore, define your own limits, and then after the fact, agree with whomever as to what you are going to call those limits.
 DoubleParked
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 21
The difference between dating exclusively and boyfriend/girlfriend?
Posted: 3/30/2012 2:48:57 PM
I agree with Abelian.

Dating exclusively means you go out on dates with only one person at a time, presumably for as long as it takes to figure out whether or not you can stand the person enough to be in a relationship. You become bf/gf when you don't have to call up for dates and you just assume that you'll be spending time together

At the 'dating exclusively ' level, you still have to call and make plans, set the date, etc. but when at the BF/GF stage, it's OK to just drop by and hang out, with the assumption that you will be welcome, you are now part of the other's inner circle.
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