| | If you won't approach me in public, don't email me here.Page 1 of 5 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) | I just saw a profile of a woman who concluded her profile with, "If you won't approach me on the street and ask me out, then don't email me here."
Anyone knows how to interpret this, please?
Is she trying to weed out the men that she knows who don't have confidence to approach her in public? But doesn't that nullify it if she's on a dating site?
Is it because she gets a lot of emails from men, which thus means that THOSE men are only emailing her because it's easier? Is it because she knows they would never approach her in public?
She mentioned that they actually think they have a shot by contacting her online, when they KNOW they wouldn't have a chance with her in person.
Anyone? | |
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| If you won't approach me in public, don't email me here.
Posted: 3/31/2012 9:59:28 AM | She mentioned that they actually think they have a shot by contacting her online, when they KNOW they wouldn't have a chance with her in person.
I take that to mean she does get too many "feeler" emails from "unworthy" or possibly fake profile guys with "internet courage",
that she thinks would NEVER have enough REAL courage to approach her in public IRL.. 
Would you like something to respond with that may possibly leave her silent?
Ask her to say truthfully just how many times SHE has approached a nice-looking MAN for a date IRL in the last 10 years !
That may get her goat for a bit. Or she may retort that she is "traditional" or "old-fashioned" and feels it is always the man's DUTY to approach the woman..  Then you say "eh?"
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| If you won't approach me in public, don't email me here.
Posted: 3/31/2012 10:09:45 AM |
I just saw a profile of a woman who concluded her profile with, "If you won't approach me on the street and ask me out, then don't email me here."
Anyone knows how to interpret this, please? You REALLY cant figure this out? Dont contact her... Thats a clue.
It means every day she opens her email here and has tons of mail from older bald overweight guys that would never in a million years approach her in real life. 90 percent of the guys here are messaging 10 percent of the women. They are delusional at best. When your a average guy your probably not going to land a real hot gal here. guys hide behind a keyboard and dream sending women way out of their league mail here. Gals they would never have the nerve to go try and pick up in person.
She wants an attractive and confident guy. Dont message her unless you really think you have a shot.
If you saw her in a bar would you HONESTLY think you have a shot with her?
Cowboy | |
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| If you won't approach me in public, don't email me here.
Posted: 3/31/2012 10:19:57 AM | Would you like something to respond with that may possibly leave her silent?
Ask her to say truthfully just how many times SHE has approached a nice-looking MAN for a date IRL this year !
That may get her goat for a bit. Or she may retort that she is "traditional" or "old-fashioned" and feels it is the man's DUTY to approach the woman.
Actually, it's a rather arrogant and narcissistic comment if you think about it. It's like saying, "I'm hot, so would you approach me in public cold turkey?"
I'd like to ask her how men men has ever approached cold turkey on the street (other than a nightclub after a few drinks).
If you saw her in a bar would you HONESTLY think you have a shot with her?
I don't frequent bars.
The only time I approach women in public, is through a group or network of friends at say a house party or some kind of group event. Usually, when I'm a friend with the host and the host is friends with.
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| If you won't approach me in public, don't email me here.
Posted: 3/31/2012 10:36:32 AM | Narcissism? On this site? I can't imagine!
And who are these guys that hit on random women on the street? Homeless guys who want to see if she'd like to share a malt liquor by the dumpster? Is that her intended demographic?
So many questions.
What did she look like? LOL | |
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| If you won't approach me in public, don't email me here.
Posted: 3/31/2012 11:03:08 AM |  As if that statement is inaccurate. It is actually 100% accurate.
She is correct. Face it. Many people on this site would message others they normally would not approach in real life. I should know because I have encountered a handful of those men. Online they find it easier because they are hiding behind a computer anonymously.
There is nothing narcassitic about that statement, but rather truthful. The woman is spot on, and that is all there is to it. | |
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| If you won't approach me in public, don't email me here.
Posted: 3/31/2012 11:11:23 AM | (And who are these guys that hit on random women on the street? Homeless guys who want to see if she'd like to share a malt liquor by the dumpster? Is that her intended demographic?)
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so you never know. I live in NYC. I can honestly say the guys here are overall very confident. I consider myself an average, yet attractive woman...and I do get men who are total strangers who appear to be from diverse walks of life flirting with me. They can be a police officer, the construction worker who is on site near my office, the guy you see on the subway, to the white collar professional male who also eats at a nearby pub where I frequently go to lunch...it happens.
Actually, I've met guys who I've ended up dating that way...
I don't know if I agree with the woman's philosophy that OP mentioned... | |
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| If you won't approach me in public, don't email me here.
Posted: 3/31/2012 11:22:12 AM | | I don't think this is always about old fat men contacting hot women that are "out of their league". Some reasonably attractive men may not approach a woman in public because they are a little bit shy. Yet they may contact the same woman online because they matched all or most of the requirements on her profile. That would give these men more optimism. | |
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M411
| | Joined: 3/22/2012
Msg: 10 | |
| If you won't approach me in public, don't email me here.
Posted: 3/31/2012 11:22:24 AM | Women typically narrow their "selection" process by association. They put themselves in environments where the type of men they are interested are more common.
POF doesn't really offer women a decent way of doing that here. Women simply can't ONLY allow themselves to be visible to the type of men of interest. That can get frustrating very quickly.
All she is saying is ...
if a guy doesn't normally date women "at her level", she's not interested ... ... either.
This is kinda of a social proof thing ... women are typically ONLY interested in men that other women "at their level" are interested in.
Pretty hard for women to determine the "social proof" thing on POF .. not enough information ... ... I guess she's asking guys to do it for her.
Women, typically test men on the social proof thing anyway, regardless where they are. Usually best to play along. More often then not, it's an easy test to pass. | |
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| If you won't approach me in public, don't email me here.
Posted: 3/31/2012 11:34:22 AM |
I don't think this is always about old fat men contacting hot women that are "out of their league". Some reasonably attractive men may not approach a woman in public because they are a little bit shy. Yet they may contact the same woman online because they matched all or most of the requirements on her profile. That would give these men more optimism.
Right, the thing is though, people are on this site to date. She's expecting men to approach her cold turkey in public to be the same kind of men to approach her online.
First of all, men hardly even approach women in public, even a gym (regardless of you seeing on a treadmill everyday). Most women aren't opened to being approached when out and about running errands.
Online, well, they're prepared for it, but not out on the street.
Men usually approach if they have reason to approach. Like through a group outing through a network of friends. | |
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| If you won't approach me in public, don't email me here.
Posted: 3/31/2012 1:39:07 PM | she is saying, ugly non confident men would never approach her in public, so she doesn't want them approaching her on here...
she's got an attitude for sure...
but she's tryin to put off the weak and faint of heart..... | |
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| If you won't approach me in public, don't email me here.
Posted: 3/31/2012 1:45:49 PM |
she is saying, ugly non confident men would never approach her in public, so she doesn't want them approaching her on here...
she's got an attitude for sure...
but she's tryin to put off the weak and faint of heart.....
I actually recall an even more blunt profile, rather attractive, yet fit woman in her mid 40's. But, lives in a more ritzy sub-division. She concluded her profile with, "If I look like the kind of woman that you normally don't date, then don't email me!"
I have to be wondering though, what kind of person would put that in their profile?
The kind of person that is looking for a loveless marriage that we see so much of today?
I.e. - The Real Housewives of | |
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| If you won't approach me in public, don't email me here.
Posted: 3/31/2012 2:18:08 PM | Sheesh, judging from the rodeo clowns that DID email me here, the last thing I want is one of them approaching me in public.
I know that the user doesn't want people who wouldn't approach her in public to email her here, but that would only tell her that the people that DO email her are not who they appear to be in their profiles. Of course, if she knew who it was really emailing her and they actually approached her in public, bet anything she would just remove that part from her profile. | |
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| If you won't approach me in public, don't email me here.
Posted: 3/31/2012 2:26:24 PM |
Sheesh, judging from the rodeo clowns that DID email me here, the last thing I want is one of them approaching me in public.
I know that the user doesn't want people who wouldn't approach her in public to email her here, but that would only tell her that the people that DO email her are not who they appear to be in their profiles. Of course, if she knew who it was really emailing her and they actually approached her in public, bet anything she would just remove that part from her profile
It's kind of one of those weird "circular" statements...not sure if it's the right one
"Chicken or egg" situation? A paradox? | |
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| If you won't approach me in public, don't email me here.
Posted: 3/31/2012 2:28:40 PM | First of all, men hardly even approach women in public, even a gym (regardless of you seeing on a treadmill everyday). Most women aren't opened to being approached when out and about running errands.
I agree on the second statement. The first statement depends on the settings. Most men probably won't approach a woman at a shopping mall. However many men would approach a woman at a bar or some social gathering. Such as a community or professional event. | |
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| If you won't approach me in public, don't email me here.
Posted: 3/31/2012 3:23:54 PM | Well, I thought cowboy's post summed it up pretty well.
Screening through the slag to get to the nuggets.
On the other hand, "approaching" in public can be interpreted in divers' ways. (Depends on the approacher.)
I've "approached" from behind the wheel of a taxi cab, in a public laundromat, on a public skating rink, at a baseball game, from the edge of a club stage and behind a microphone, on a streetcar..........(a long list.)
It occurs to me upon reflection - that the vast majority of these times, the woman in question was not instantly summed up as a particular "type" that I would approach - but more to the point: an extenuating circumstance within the environment that paved the way for such an action.
Just as in here..."approaching" is done by - writing. (I like that part.)
Approaching a picture is one thing. Responding to intelligence, wit, wisdom, charm, personality, character....is another thing entirely.
So yes, and with humor (in equal response, compared to deadpan and lacking human grace) if "approaching" is looked upon as business-suited merger interfaced connectivity with high-profit productivity performance enhancements...I'd say the lady in question only gets what she pays for. (bright eyed responses to 44 chest, 30 waist, natural hair and 6-figure bank account notwithstanding.)  | |
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| If you won't approach me in public, don't email me here.
Posted: 3/31/2012 3:28:07 PM |
First of all, men hardly even approach women in public, even a gym (regardless of you seeing on a treadmill everyday). Most women aren't opened to being approached when out and about running errands.
I think it comes in from two angles:
(1) She wants guys who think they actually have a chance and it'd be worth their while
(2) She wants guys who WANT it. Approaching a woman on the street usually means he thinks "wow" of her. She doesn't want to exchange emails or possibly meet, then him disappearing.
It goes both ways: A guy below her league, and a guy notably above her league. The first she won't like filling her mailbox, and the second isn't THAT interested and maybe just wants attention or sex-time. | |
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| If you won't approach me in public, don't email me here.
Posted: 3/31/2012 4:55:28 PM |
and I do get men who are total strangers who appear to be from diverse walks of life flirting with me. They can be a police officer, the construction worker who is on site near my office, the guy you see on the subway, to the white collar professional male who also eats at a nearby pub where I frequently go to lunch...it happens.
Actually, I've met guys who I've ended up dating that way...
I agree with this 100% about NYC. You can meet men from multi-millionaires on down, just by eating lunch in the park, taking the subway and doing other routine things. NYC men tend to be way more confident than other men and are more likely to approach women quickly than are men in other places. | |
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| If you won't approach me in public, don't email me here.
Posted: 3/31/2012 5:13:10 PM | I read it the same way as Confident-Realist:
I think it comes in from two angles:
(1) She wants guys who think they actually have a chance and it'd be worth their while
(2) She wants guys who WANT it. Approaching a woman on the street usually means he thinks "wow" of her. She doesn't want to exchange emails or possibly meet, then him disappearing.
It goes both ways: A guy below her league, and a guy notably above her league. The first she won't like filling her mailbox, and the second isn't THAT interested and maybe just wants attention or sex-time.
I can see her point, if that was what she meant. | |
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| If you won't approach me in public, don't email me here.
Posted: 3/31/2012 6:12:26 PM | I agree with her and feel like putting it on my profile!
I've had at least 3 men within the last 2 months email me saying "I saw you at XXXX but I couldn't approach you." Well why not?!? Wouldn't it have made things easier?? Now you expect me to go through some email/texting/phone call nonsense when you were 2 feet from me and we could have gotten the initial stage over with if you would have just said hello?
I guess it's easier for some men to hide behind a computer. Well, those men aren't for me.
Yes, I get the balding, overweight, older, never-had-a-date men who email me here and they obviously would never approach me (or ANY woman) in real life. It's not that I am arrogant, I just know those men are sending out the same email to 50 women per day playing the odds... hoping one - doesn't matter which one - will email them back.
I had another guy email me during a time period where I wasn't checking mail here. And then he supposedly saw me at a bar. Afterwards he wrote me saying I looked like a total stuck up **** and was glad I never contacted him. (I saw the emails like a week later when I hopped on here.) People really jump to conclusions. Maybe if he would have had the balls to approach me he would have gotten somewhere | |
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| If you won't approach me in public, don't email me here.
Posted: 3/31/2012 6:26:11 PM | | To me the quote "If you won't approach me on the street and ask me out, then don't email me here" refers the the fact that the fish in this pond are generally looking for nothing but an opportunity to spawn. Rejection in the fishbowl is a little easier to handle (more annonymous) than public rejection. Presumably, guys who approach in public are first attracted to looks and the general setting in which you meet (sporting event, book store) implies you have something in common. I'd like to believe that guys who get up the nerve to approach in public are interested in a little bit more. | |
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