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Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > Just saw my first love on facebook and...........      Home login  
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 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 1
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Just saw my first love on facebook and...........Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Ever happen to you?

I saw my first love on facebook today... had not seen him in almost 35 years. He used to be handsome.............. in shape........

what the hell happened?
I was shocked !!!... had to expand the picture to look closer at his face to even identify him.


Ever happen to you?
Would you rather not see?
lol
Any experiences with finding old friends or lovers on facebook?
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/25/2011
Msg: 2
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Just saw my first love on facebook and...........
Posted: 4/4/2012 6:14:36 AM
Yes, I found my first love on facebook. He looks very boring and he comes across that way in his messages also. Not the cute young blond boy that I remember being so madly in love with.

Sadly he did not remember me :(

Possibly because we were only 5 at the time :)
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 3
Just saw my first love on facebook and...........
Posted: 4/4/2012 6:35:58 AM
Not my first 'love' but my first lust/first boyfriend.

I last saw him in person 20 years ago although we had not been a couple for a few years at that time. Then about 6 months ago, I got a FB request from his brother and then from him. I admit I added him because I wanted to be nosy and it's not like there was any bad feelings around the split. He's remains on my Friends list as I have no reason to remove him.

He has not aged well. He was tall, had very chiseled features and was lean (then again, most of us were in our early 20's) but now he is very round and very bald ! I would not have recognized him in a million years. I flicked all through his albums (as you do !) and there is not one photo in which I could see any resemblance. However, I will say, that to this day, based on his Wall, he remains funny as heck, quick witted and kind hearted. And rather fertile is seems based on the number of children listed as his !
 Ready_Real
Joined: 12/30/2010
Msg: 4
Just saw my first love on facebook and...........
Posted: 4/4/2012 7:27:12 AM
My first love happened between ages 15 and 19 . . . he was my first real date, my first kiss, my first marriage proposal, the whole fairy tale enchalada. Given that he was more drop dead gorgeous (those Irish bedroom blue eyes, fair skin, incredible lips, 6' 3") I never quite knew what he saw in the looks of me and constantly heard, "God, your boyfriend is gorgeous" from friends, acquaintances, and sometimes even total strangers. His heart was even more beautiful: our years together were filled with the wonder and innocence that only happens once in a lifetime:) In many many ways, the love he so freely gave me during those years has remained some kind of intangible source of strength which has continued to help me survive some of the most challenging times in my life. . . But we went off to college, and as we grew up, we grew apart. It was devastating heartbreak that can only happens "that first time". . . and it was 34 years until we finally saw each other again.

We met at a restaurant during the week for a very late night dinner. He called to say he was "at our dinner table." I walked into the now mostly empty restaurant to see a few business types at the bar, a few others scattered at dinner tables, and a very tall grey gentleman got up from his seat and walked slowly toward me. He had difficulty walking and was carrying at least 100 extra pounds with him. About the only thing remaining of My First Love was his eyes, which looked considerably smaller give the flesh surrounding them. . .

He and I have lived worlds apart over the past 35 years. . . He makes millions annually, travels constantly, works constantly, has a marriage that happens only on weekends, and has had 3 angioplast surgeries. He came to my house the next day for lunch and to see my mom after all these years, and we then went out for an early dinner before his plane arrived. While we were together, it was as if the years had never happened. . . and it was as if we had never known each other. . .

That was two years ago. I am left with:
---his decision to reject my offer to develop a friendship ("I can't be friends with you. . . I've never thought of you as a friend, I would never have an affair, and it would be too hard for me to try to think of you as a friend."
-- sadness that his "successful career" has happened at a price most of us would consider too high: his physical well being
---a poignant validation of -- and everlasting humble appreciation of the blessing of First Love that "He" represented. As morbidly obese and very "unattractive" as I would find his profile were it on this (or any) dating site) he is still beautiful ---- totally beautiful -- to me. Which helps me understand how those rare couples celebrating 50 or 60 years together are still miraculously madly in love --- and in lust:)

Thanks, "Holy. . . " for this thread. I'm sure many others will appreciate the opportunity it will present for them to similarly experience some beautiful memories of the past --- and bittersweet moments in their present 45+ lives!
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 5
Just saw my first love on facebook and...........
Posted: 4/4/2012 7:32:12 AM
I wouldn't call it a first love, although I'm not sure how we felt about each other back then. Thinking back it was more like a FWB situation that hadn't been invented yet. We were 15 and 16 and too young to think about anything serious. I can't even say the relationship formerly ended. We just drifted apart.

So she finds me on facebook. And I looked at her pictures and yes she aged, as did I. But she still looked like the girl I remembered. She said I was about the same. Shorter hair and not as built. We were and are still both single so we made plans to get together. I brought her a bouquet of flowers and took her out to a nice downtown restaurant that also had a band and dancing after 9:00. So it was a real nice time. Since then we have got together on occasion, but not regularly.

Some how those early relationships leave a pretty good impression on you whether it be good or bad. Ours was good and remains that way.
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 6
Just saw my first love on facebook and...........
Posted: 4/4/2012 7:42:09 AM
YES! One such instance was someone I was crazy for 11 yrs ago- he broke my heart...then I saw himm & his new wife on FB...he aged over 20 yrs IMO, got bloated looking, bald, gray...his wife ....ewww...

both of them look like they could be my parents.

After what he put me thru years ago I admit I got a vicarious thrill out of seeing their pix

I have many more such stories re: exes on FB, but I have to go have breakfast now...
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 7
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Just saw my first love on facebook and...........
Posted: 4/4/2012 7:44:57 AM
Miss Ready, your post almost made me cry and that isn't good cuz I am at work! What a sweet, sad story.

I have not looked up my first old flame, and OP? Thanks for giving me the idea...then again, maybe I should leave all as is. Keep my memory the same with the handsome good looks that I remember of him.
 SpringsDiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 8
Just saw my first love on facebook and...........
Posted: 4/4/2012 7:56:23 AM

ReadyReal- ---a poignant validation of -- and everlasting humble appreciation of the blessing of First Love that "He" represented. As morbidly obese and very "unattractive" as I would find his profile were it on this (or any) dating site) he is still beautiful ---- totally beautiful -- to me. Which helps me understand how those rare couples celebrating 50 or 60 years together are still miraculously madly in love --- and in lust:)


May every man be lucky enough to find someone with such view of love...

OP - Not too many people are going to look very similar today as they did 35 years ago.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 9
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Just saw my first love on facebook and...........
Posted: 4/4/2012 7:56:56 AM
Well my first love of when I was 18... we dated 2 years. He did not age well. I was shocked on how badly.......... not just the weight but also how old he looks.
I wish I would not have looked but curiosity got to me. I found a picture of him on his daughters facebook page.
Beyond shocking ! enlarged it in disbelief. Yes it's him.
wow.

Apparently he has been very ill a long long time. I had no idea. In a wheelchair and looks 80.
Wow when did all this happen?
Just saw my first love on facebook and...........
Posted: 4/4/2012 8:47:41 AM
I had some guy on here contact me, as I knew him over 40 years ago.

As a teenager, he was my best friends boyfriend, and wanted to start a relationship with me ... now.

Wow ... that was a shocker.

No, some individuals do not age well.
And I find the ones that drink and smoke, it effects them enormously.

But then, when you hit your 50's, you see a vast array of looks.
Some age well, and some don't.

Look at older married couples.
Sometimes the woman is still stunning,
and her husband is atrocious.
Or vice versa.
Thank God they married when they were young
and time has allowed them to adjust to what they have grown into.
Because, some of those individuals will have a very hard time finding someone else.
 lillyam
Joined: 3/4/2012
Msg: 11
Just saw my first love on facebook and...........
Posted: 4/4/2012 9:05:20 AM
To change the subject just a little... my ex's first love found herself in the position where her kids were grown and she had recently split with her husband. So what did she do? She decided to give my husband a call for old times sake (28 years later). That got the old juices flowing and next thing you know they're having a full blown affair. She lived in a different city but they managed to carry on for a few months. I won't go into more details other than to say the devastation and heartbreak were beyond belief. As much as it sounds like fun to call up your old first love, always stop and consider that there might be consequences.
 Landra2
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 12
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Just saw my first love on facebook and...........
Posted: 4/4/2012 9:10:22 AM
I saw a couple of my teen crushes on there.
Never dated either, just worshipped from afar.
One is even better looking (he's HOT!!!) than I could have imagined, divorced with 2 stunningly beautiful teen girls.
The other is married to what must be a former model, with three perfect-looking children. Their family photo looks like an advertisement for the perfect family.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 13
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Just saw my first love on facebook and...........
Posted: 4/4/2012 9:20:21 AM
I just looked up someone I had a major crush on in like the 8,9th and 10th grades.
He lives in florida now. Florida has public service as to arrest records, that are easily found online.
Really freaked out because it listed him as a burglar, drugs and domestic violence

and.........
his 2 exwives and his kids also many arrests !
( I checked, yes these are his ex wives !- they look like train wrecks- drugs do that I suppose)

He is also missing several teeth and looks scary... so do his ex wives and kids.
They are all felons !

geesssssssssssh. Some prayers never answered are gifts. Imagine if I'd married him?

choke
gag and
vomit.
I have to go now and get mani/pedi and haircut ... shop.. just to shake the heebie jeebies.
I'm not looking anyone else up. Too terrifing.
 Boricua Papi
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 14
Just saw my first love on facebook and...........
Posted: 4/4/2012 9:21:50 AM
I'VE TOLD I LOOK WAY BETTER NOW THAN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL YEARS
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 15
Just saw my first love on facebook and...........
Posted: 4/4/2012 10:19:55 AM
We've all aged. We all think we look hot, that we're wonderful, that we're just the cat's meow. Thing is, we may not be.

And yup, it's sad to see someone we had a crush on or loved at one time seemingly not have a good life. It's actually sadder and more pathetic for someone to rag on about how badly someone else has done when it turns out they've been ill, had a rough life, survived cancer or some other horrific challenge. If we want to go on and on about someone else's misfortunes - what does that say about us?

I have read threads in here about folks going to high school or college reunions and gloating about the fact that they have faired better than others in their careers, life choices, marriages or just the fact that all their old school chums are fatter, greyer, balder than they are. Geez, is that why folks go to reunions - to make fun of others.

And yes, some look better than they did in high school, many have aged well and are still in good shape, healthy, wealthy and wise.

It's all a crap shoot and sometimes it's not good management but good luck. Hopefully we all try to be the best we can.
 DayWalker12
Joined: 1/25/2011
Msg: 16
Just saw my first love on facebook and...........
Posted: 4/4/2012 10:29:48 AM
I hope not, it would do my noodle right in :/
 stargazin53
Joined: 11/9/2010
Msg: 17
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Just saw my first love on facebook and...........
Posted: 4/4/2012 10:33:23 AM
For me, it's the inner beauty that shines the brightest and I'm far more interested in exploring that with someone....especially when I haven't seen them in years and years. Yep, saw a picture of my first love and no, didnt recognize him. It wasn't a situation where we could connect and talk, just a pic on a website....would've loved to have heard his life story since our paths last crossed. I often say this, and believe it to be true....we best be bringin' our sense of humor with us as we age and maybe reflect some on the things that really matter in life. Those are the things that can't be measured in appearance or possessions.

ReadyReal: loved your story...thanks for sharing that one.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 18
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Just saw my first love on facebook and...........
Posted: 4/4/2012 11:07:45 AM
...I did have a major crush on a boss of mine ( I'll call him Mr B) about thirty years ago. Oh I was just smitten with him. Of course it was never acted upon, he wasn't even aware of my feelings I don't think. I did get on very well with his wife, a terrific lady. We ended up becoming very good friends until I moved away.

Anyhow, his wife sent a friend request to me on FB and I accepted. So of course being the curious type I checked out the photo album. One of the pictures showed his wife, kids, all grown up now with spouses and kids of their own. A couple of unidentified males (his brothers maybe) a portly man with white hair (maybe Mr B's dad ) on the left. I kept peering at the pic thinking, Huh.....he's not in this pic.
Then I read .....From left to right...and there was his name. I honestly would have never reconized him on the street.
Later, I got to thinking...he was probably a dozen or more years older than me when I worked for him...it makes sense. He would now be in his seventies.

We keep an image in our head for 20 or 30 years and in our mind's eye, we see them how we remember them, not as they are now. Time does indeed march on.


...mae
 SpringsDiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 19
Just saw my first love on facebook and...........
Posted: 4/4/2012 11:35:24 AM

OP - Ever happen to you?

My first love and I got married, and stayed married for quite a few years. I have not seen her since our divorce many years ago, and have not seen an online presence. I am almost certain she would look "just like" her mother did when we were together. They bore quite a resemblance to each other even when my ex was younger.
 ForumFilly
Joined: 6/28/2010
Msg: 20
Just saw my first love on facebook and...........
Posted: 4/4/2012 12:14:02 PM
I saw my third husband's profile on My Space a few years ago and just seeing him brought back all the cruelty and viciousness of which he was capable of perpetrating on others. He still had that mean stare that I remember so well. Amazing how he hid it for the year we were just platonic roommates and then let it out after the marriage. I've never known someone so cruel. I doubt he has changed.

My 2nd husband is on FB but without any photos so I can't see how he's turned out after all these years. I did see a photo of my 1st husband on my son's half brother's FB page. He did not age well at all and, unfortunately, he passed away at age 52 of a sudden, massive heart attack.

I've seen photos of my fiance when he was younger and I find him to be much more handsome and sexy now than he was then. Some men just get hotter as they age and he is one of them. At least he is to me!!!
Just saw my first love on facebook and...........
Posted: 4/4/2012 12:23:06 PM
She looks as beautiful as she did 25 years ago. Our paths have gone in different directions. We admittedly tugged on each others heartstrings when each was going through our own divorces, however distance and the other being in a committed relationship at the time the other was in the midsts of a breakup, kept our conversations to online chats.
We were best friends as well as lovers. Today we call each other "old friend."

I don't know if I will ever actually physically look into her eyes again. It would be a double edged sword. It would be beautiful and painful at the same time. I am content none-the-less to know today how she has faired in life and to know that my wish upon our break up was of her happiness and today she is ultimately happy.


Now my first wife..... rot in hell bitch!!!!!! lol
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 22
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Just saw my first love on facebook and...........
Posted: 4/4/2012 1:32:18 PM
We keep an image in our head for 20 or 30 years and in our mind's eye, we see them how we remember them, not as they are now
_________________________________

true.

I wish now I would not have looked. My original image was better.
:)
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 23
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Just saw my first love on facebook and...........
Posted: 4/4/2012 2:09:27 PM
Objectively, I can say my first love has aged (I mean, we all have) but no matter what image is presented to me today, I still see how he looked back then. Same for anyone I love...it seems I can only picture them the way they looked in the moment I knew I loved them.

I dont allow myself to play the 'what if we had stayed together game' or take any enjoyment out of the fact that perhaps someone I once cared for went on to make some bad choices. Maybe they dont think they made any bad choices and are perfectly content with thier life. Thats what I wish for them anyways.
 CJinND
Joined: 8/1/2011
Msg: 24
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Just saw my first love on facebook and...........
Posted: 4/4/2012 3:18:33 PM
Just the other day I got a Facebook friend request out of the blue and it took me a few moments to figure out who it was....the mother of my first girl friend. I'm older, grayer thinning out on top, and when I saw a picture of her I immediately recognized her. At 49 she's still stunning. Oh well, no winding back the clock 29 years.
 serenityCW
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 25
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Just saw my first love on facebook and...........
Posted: 4/4/2012 3:26:35 PM
not on facebook, but found his address and wrote to him after i got married the second time. my husband was aware. was just curious as i was looking through old pics. actually wrote to a lot of men and women. he called, happily married, sounded not all that bright. clearly was not thinking with my big head in college years :) have not seen him, but have seen several others at a high school reunion in my 40's and was quite shocked at how people aged so quickly. however, that was "before" botox and restylane:)
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