| | What is going on here?Page 1 of 1 | | So initially I came on here I was just looking to meet some new people. I had just gotten out of a relationship and was looking to make new connections since I had just moved back to my home town. This guy messaged me after about a day I had been on and we had talked every day all day since for about a week. We just got to know one another, flirt innocently, and just pretty much talk about how our day went and what our plans were. Then he asks me to meet up with him a couple of days ago. So I end up going because he seemed like a pretty cool guy. He took me to meet all of his friends, said sweet things the entire time we were together, and even played a romantic song as he drove me home. Then out of the blue the next day he disappears on me. It just doesn't make sense to me because I have been on a lot of dates, and I know I didn't say anything or do anything inappropriate the entire time. If he wasn't interested in me why make all these advances towards me to just turn around and disappear? | |
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| What is going on here?
Posted: 4/7/2012 1:26:33 PM |
If he wasn't interested in me why make all these advances towards me
He was hoping to get laid. If he didn't then he would just move on to te next one. | |
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| What is going on here?
Posted: 4/7/2012 1:27:26 PM | | yeah but if he wanted to get laid, wouldn't he have taken me to a bar or his place? We went to a bonfire with a bunch of his friends. I know when a guy is trying to get laid. Like I said I have been on many dates before. | |
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| What is going on here?
Posted: 4/7/2012 1:29:01 PM | I feel we need more information on this disappearance. Has it ONLY been one day? If so give it more time, alot of ppl freak out over this kinda thing and it may have been nothing.
Or he didnt like you and didnt want to say it.. for some of us its hard to tell someone we are not interested in them as we know it doesnt feel good to hear that. | |
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| What is going on here?
Posted: 4/7/2012 1:31:19 PM | | Well, when he dropped me off he asked me for a hug, made sure I got in my place okay and then left. I didn't message him right away because I knew he was tired and had things to do the next morning. But the thing is it's been two days and he used to write me when he was at work. Maybe he wasn't interested, but I still don't get why he couldn't of been straight up. At least I could of respected him for being honest. :P | |
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| What is going on here?
Posted: 4/7/2012 1:52:29 PM | | You're playing games by waiting for him to get a hold of you. Call or text him and let him know you would like to see him again. He might be doing the same thing as you are, holding off a few days to get a hold of you. He probably has no idea you're interested in seeing him again. Now if he doesn't reply to your text then write him off. | |
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| What is going on here?
Posted: 4/7/2012 1:57:33 PM | | I did though. I wrote to him three times yesterday. Once in the morning saying I had a lot of fun and to have a good day. One around 4 asking what he was up to and then one at 10pm . You have to understand he wrote me first in the morning and fell asleep writing to me. That's why I am guessing he wasn't interested but he could of just told me ya know? | |
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| What is going on here?
Posted: 4/7/2012 2:33:18 PM | Welcome to dating in 2012. Post like yours are becoming way too common.
The disappearing act is actually a way of telling you, I'm not interested. I guess both you and I missed that day of class when it was shared. Reach out to him if you haven't already, if no response...on to the next one. | |
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| What is going on here?
Posted: 4/7/2012 2:36:59 PM | | Oh well I guess. Where there is one guy like him, there is a million. :P Back to fishing I suppose! | |
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| What is going on here?
Posted: 4/7/2012 2:47:53 PM | My guess is that this guy is a serial dater and probably found someone whose company he enjoys more than yours, or he thinks is better looking or whatever the case may be. Unfortunately when you have several options with sites like this, those things can happen. Of course this is only speculation on my part, but if any of this is true, he probably just wanted to avoid the awkwardness of breaking things off with you.
Another possibility is that his friends may have not had high opinions of you and he probably just listened to them.
Other than that, I don't know what to tell you. I would suggest you move on to someone else | |
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| What is going on here?
Posted: 4/7/2012 3:11:46 PM | If you genuinely felt he was interested and the vibes were there (the sex vibes?), then he wanted sex..
You meet up with his friends (bit soon eh?) Maybe he couldn't be bothered spending time getting to know you alone?
Watching to make sure you got in OK or hoping you'll turn around and ask him in.. I had one of those recently, a proper player (players stay with your own kind!!lol). Seriously, who knows.. for me the disappearing says it all ~ I'm old enough & wise enough to know that when a guy really likes you.. and you're actively on a dating site (or not).. he will pursue asap, to remind you he's there. Trust your gut instinct :) | |
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| What is going on here?
Posted: 4/7/2012 4:49:33 PM | It seems like he's just not that into you, hun. All of those things you say he did on your date are basically
just good manners, I'm not seeing anything romantic there. You said he asked you for a hug...? To me that screams
"let's be friends." Maybe he felt no chemistry.
You said that you sent him a couple of texts, did you tell him that you had a nice time with him?
Maybe he's a bit shy and just needs a bit of encouragement to ask for a second date??
Otherwise I'd say he's just not that interested, as from my experience guys usually ask for a second date while
still on the first!
Don't waste a lot of time& energy on him and if he doesn't ask you out again very soon, I'd suggest moving on. If he isn't interested, he should at least tell you out of consideration instead of leaving you hanging!! Keep dating and don't put your life on hold for him!
Good luck! | |
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| What is going on here?
Posted: 4/7/2012 5:05:10 PM |
If he wasn't interested in me why make all these advances towards me to just turn around and disappear?
Because who you were in person was probably different than what he built up in his head.
I know I didn't say anything or do anything inappropriate the entire time.
But you'd never been on a date with him before.
Maybe he thought you weren't inappropriate enough and therefore too reserved or prudish.
Maybe you were so nice to everyone, he thought you really were just friends and he didn't want that.
yeah but if he wanted to get laid, wouldn't he have taken me to a bar or his place?
Not necessarily.
It might not have been in keeping with the pseudo relationship you've built up to then.
If he'd have taken you to a bar or his place you might have been more wary.
The thing is, he might have just wanted to get laid, but he's lied to himself into believing he didn't want to just get laid.
Mostly so he could convince you that he wanted "more" so you would be more vulnerable.
Ulterior motives. They didn't come to fruition, then he gets a huge dose of being let down, guilt, disappointment, and all sorts of things, doesn't want to face them, so disappears.
t I still don't get why he couldn't of been straight up
People are usually only straight up in relationships that have been developed.
Because they can't hide behind shit. Simply because you were hopefully paying attention long enough and can spot when they try.
All you had was chit chat on the internet where any development was mostly in your head with yourself and their face pasted on.
That's why I am guessing he wasn't interested but he could of just told me ya know?
He is telling you.
Just not in the way that is easy for you, handed to you, and not in the way you want. | |
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| What is going on here?
Posted: 4/7/2012 7:25:56 PM |
What is going on here?
Stuff, some of us want some, some of us got some.
So initially I came on here I was just looking to meet some new people. I had just gotten out of a relationship and was looking to make new connections since I had just moved back to my home town. This guy messaged me after about a day I had been on and we had talked every day all day since for about a week. We just got to know one another, flirt innocently, and just pretty much talk about how our day went and what our plans were. Then he asks me to meet up with him a couple of days ago. So I end up going because he seemed like a pretty cool guy. He took me to meet all of his friends, said sweet things the entire time we were together, and even played a romantic song as he drove me home. Then out of the blue the next day he disappears on me...
That has aliens written all over it.
..It just doesn't make sense to me because I have been on a lot of dates, and I know I didn't say anything or do anything inappropriate the entire time...
If you didn't know you did something, you wouldn't remember not doing it.
...If he wasn't interested in me why make all these advances towards me to just turn around and disappear.
I am going to go with Aliens, as I have it on good authority that invaders from another planet where spotted in Halifax today.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/eastbeach/7055025641/in/photostream | |
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| What is going on here?
Posted: 4/7/2012 11:00:33 PM | He was hoping to get laid. If he didn't then he would just move on to te next one.
Does that misandric, narrow measuring stick work as a walking cane?
Author, perhaps his friends had influence. Some people are very easily influenced. It's all speculation at this point and it's counterproductive. Just keep searching :) | |
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| What is going on here?
Posted: 4/8/2012 1:31:26 AM |
why make all these advances towards me to just turn around and disappear?
Because he felt like it. | |
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| What is going on here?
Posted: 4/8/2012 5:28:36 AM |
Does that misandric, narrow measuring stick work as a walking cane?
Riiiight, because some guys never say anything or do anything to get a girl into bed.
Where's that eyeroll when you really need it. | |
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| What is going on here?
Posted: 4/8/2012 7:30:00 AM | some guys
Perpetuating stereotype that men have no self control is insulting to all men including your self. Something you should never do. | |
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| What is going on here?
Posted: 4/8/2012 7:36:32 AM |
Well, when he dropped me off he asked me for a hug
The Hug.
If I had to guess, The Hug (vs The Kiss) is probably responsible for most folks (guys at least, can't say for girls) end up having second thoughts. | |
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