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 58796
Joined: 4/2/2012
Msg: 1
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Should I try to get her back?Page 1 of 1    
Hi Everyone!

I had been dating a woman since November and things were going great. I could tell she cared a lot about me, but I tried to get her to slow down a little to let me catch up. A couple months ago I had to pack and move across town (which was very time consuming) by myself and she had a very stressful situation with one of her sons. She broke up with me because of this and because she was hurt that I didn't reciprocate the same type of feelings. I took a 3 week trip and she said we could see how things went when I got back. I could tell she still likes me, but she ended up telling me that she had been dating someone else. I am heartbroken, and we are no longer seeing each other.

I really would like to try to get back with her. We have tons in common and I get along great with her kids, family and friends. Her friends think I am a really great guy. I really think she could be the one. But I'm lost on what to do. I was hoping to get some suggestions from some people.
 OSGF
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 2
Should I try to get her back?
Posted: 4/8/2012 12:16:40 AM

I'm lost on what to do. I was hoping to get some suggestions from some people.

How about you contact her, tell her how you feel and go from there. There is no magic equation here. It's called COMMUNICATION. Just be honest how you feel. That's all you can do. She either feels the same or not.
 Jazzplenty2012
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 3
Should I try to get her back?
Posted: 4/8/2012 12:57:20 AM
I say you try getting in touch with her; tell her what you are thinking!!! ! You have nothing to gain if you don't!!! Good luck!!!
 Reveal1K
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 4
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Should I try to get her back?
Posted: 4/8/2012 1:21:23 AM
She made the decision. I don't think you begging to get her back is going to work. Not saying it's not possible, but there really isn't a lot of info in your post.
Ultimately, you're going to do whatever it is you want to do anyway. So if you're going to try and get her back, just do it.
 Pinky127
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 5
Should I try to get her back?
Posted: 4/8/2012 1:49:03 AM

I took a 3 week trip and she said we could see how things went when I got back. I could tell she still likes me, but she ended up telling me that she had been dating someone else.


So,in the 3 short weeks you took your trip she actually met someone else and is still dating him?


I really think she could be the one.


^^^ Op,did you ever tell HER this....?
Sorry,Op but i think you missed the boat.
 unclezeus
Joined: 5/12/2011
Msg: 6
Should I try to get her back?
Posted: 4/8/2012 2:15:13 AM

I was hoping to get some suggestions from some people.


Yes, don't date single mothers.
Stop your crying, man up, and go find a woman who hasn't got all that baggage. She was using you Sport. Go find a single, attractive , woman between 25 and 38, and has no kids. You can do it.


Should I try to get her back?


No!!
 IronBelle
Joined: 3/13/2012
Msg: 7
Should I try to get her back?
Posted: 4/8/2012 4:07:49 AM
The fact she was seeing someone else ( and still is ) is NOT a good sign. If she was that into you she would not be with someone else, nor would she tell you see how things go later. This is her way of trying to let you down nicely.

I would move on. I know you think she is * the one * but it is clear she is not the one thinking that. This has nothing to do with what her friends think about you. It is about HER. Meet someone who feels the same way.
 Twitch369
Joined: 1/17/2012
Msg: 8
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Should I try to get her back?
Posted: 4/8/2012 4:39:03 AM
Three weeks to move on? You didn't mean anything to her OP. Sorry to say but even IF you won her back, you'd be a fool for doing it. This girl sounds a little dependent on relationships. She broke up with you because you wouldn't reciprocate feelings... and then within 3 weeks she started dating someone else looking for them to reciprocate feelings? She sounds like one of those girls who cannot handle being single. Forget her and move on.
 casandra67
Joined: 1/26/2008
Msg: 9
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Should I try to get her back?
Posted: 4/8/2012 4:47:56 AM
Sounds to me like she was trying but wasnt getting what she wanted back. Then you moved house and I am wondering if you managed to show her support while she was stressed with her son. Then you went away for 3 weeks.
She moved on.
You cant expect a person to keep hanging around when there isnt a lot of feelings reciprocated.
 lightbrownsuga2luv
Joined: 12/1/2011
Msg: 10
Should I try to get her back?
Posted: 4/8/2012 7:22:26 AM
I asked a question in a forum yesterday, Is change required to keep a relationship? I said hell no...however I'm sure there are some situations that may require a change if its feasible.
You mentioned that did not reciprocate the same type of feelings is not a good thing.

When a woman is going through situations that is close to heart with them, men need to understand and be there for woman. If you lack showing concern, lack what is going on in her life and it's all about you....you won't get far.

Of course, you can be a good man on the outside, get along with people, children but when it comes to the emotional side, concern and passion sounds like you lack some of this. Now your hearbroken, cause its "all about you now".

You couldn't see what she needed or you say you needed to catch up.....now you say your caught up because she's seeing someone? Not good how will things go if she decides to see you again?

Yes, you can talk to her but remember woman will look back on what was and wonder if what was will be in the furture, so they will ponder if it's worth not getting what they desired, more then likely if they are getting what they need from another, they will not return to what didn't complete them.

So, yes I guess change is required depending if it's feasible.
 Silent Steel
Joined: 2/18/2009
Msg: 11
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Should I try to get her back?
Posted: 4/8/2012 8:37:51 AM
She broke up with you and is now waxing some other dudes carrot, yet you some how believe she is the one and you want her back? Those type of women are a dime a dozen.
 click4love
Joined: 3/21/2012
Msg: 12
Should I try to get her back?
Posted: 4/8/2012 12:32:41 PM
hmmm she couldn't be too devastated at losing the love of her life if she replaced you within 3 weeks LOL I'd say move on and be more communicative with the next one. Maybe this is a case of you only want what you can't have.
 GreatGuyATX
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 13
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Should I try to get her back?
Posted: 4/8/2012 4:37:53 PM
I'd consider figuring out what it is you want in your life before you try to get involved with this (or any) girl.

You enjoyed hanging out with her - got along great with the kids (family & friends).. yada yada yada She had feelings for you (you say) that you didn't return (you admit). You were putting on the brakes in fact.

Have you now - in her absence - developed feelings you didn't have before? Or is this a case of absence making the heart grow fonder (as they say)?
 FishOwl
Joined: 12/13/2008
Msg: 14
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Should I try to get her back?
Posted: 4/8/2012 5:12:06 PM
Should you try to get her back? Figuratively, you already have her back - as she walks away.

That's what she thinks about you and how much she feels about you and your feelings. Now, tell us again why you'd even consider getting her back. Unless you get off on being treated like something that would rot my shoe if I ever stepped in it.
 Patience623
Joined: 2/19/2012
Msg: 15
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Should I try to get her back?
Posted: 4/8/2012 5:38:25 PM
It's called a break-up because it's broken. Clearly, the relationship was moving at a pace you were not comfortable with, what do you think has changed that would fix that? I think that you're just wanting what you cannot have, you didn't want it when you could have had it, if you get it back, it's likely you won't want it anymore. Find a woman who you are in sync with instead of trying to mend something that was broken long before you were broken-up with.
 massha
Joined: 7/20/2010
Msg: 16
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Should I try to get her back?
Posted: 4/8/2012 6:02:39 PM
You were not there for her and you did not reciprocate and she moved on. I'd say you still can write to her and tell her how you feel- what have you got to lose? - but do not get your hopes up.
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 17
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Should I try to get her back?
Posted: 4/8/2012 8:42:03 PM
I'm kinda with that TX guy on this one. I've had it happen to me a few times where a guy I cared for put me in the position where I felt it was best to stop seeing him only to have him show up later convinced I was the one.

One question - how long was the time between the break up and when you went on that trip? If it was just those 3 weeks you dodged a bullet. There are people that think they have to have a relationship and rush into something new.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 18
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Should I try to get her back?
Posted: 4/10/2012 10:17:11 AM
Think I'm with the consensus on this one - she's got another BF, leave it alone.

If you'd broken up and she was still single (not dating someone else) maybe, but she's moved on.
 BearFish11
Joined: 1/28/2010
Msg: 19
Should I try to get her back?
Posted: 4/11/2012 1:49:18 PM
Unfortunately you have to move on, alot of people wanna get back with someone who they had thought that they were the "right one" and that things didnt work out with, for whichever reason, but look at it this way, alot of things that happen in the dating world happen for reasons that i or anybody else cant explain, you just gotta find someone else and once that someone else comes in, this person your wondering about will be the least of your concerns. GL
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 20
Should I try to get her back?
Posted: 4/11/2012 6:25:47 PM

I could tell she still likes me, but she ended up telling me that she had been dating someone else.

That should have been the final nail in the coffin. Forget about her. Find someone who has her sh*t together better than she does.
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