| | How hard do you work on POF?Page 1 of 5 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) | I'm curious about this.
What are the numbers like on here?
Take an "average" man; how many "average" women would he typically need to text in order to get a reply?
I'm asking because I spent a good while the other day going through profiles, reading and thinking and then messaging about 15 women who'm I believed there was scope for a relationship with. One of them replied. I'm not too bothered - I believe that this site has to be taken in the context of a numbers game.
Is what happened to me typical? Should I prepare myself to spend an hour a day messaging and hope that from that I might get a few replies over a few weeks?
Or should I lower my effort levels and just copy and paste to as many women as I can find? | |
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| How hard do you work on POF?
Posted: 4/8/2012 2:40:53 PM | Don't use copy and paste. It's very easy to tell when you receive a message like that.
I imagine finding the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with is one of the most important things you'll ever do, so put in an appropriate amount of effort. You will find that if you lower your own standards in terms of careful selection and thoughtful messages, you will likely end up corresponding with or meeting women who aren't good matches.
Also, head over to the Profile Review forum. | |
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| How hard do you work on POF?
Posted: 4/8/2012 2:52:37 PM | | If all you are wanting are responses then of course it's a numbers game. The more messages you send out, the chances of responses are higher but that still does not mean anything relationship wise. What good is it to just cut and paste a message to everyone in your area? Unless all you are doing is looking for a fling, then it is still less work to just hang out at a local night club and wait for the ugly lights to come on. | |
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| How hard do you work on POF?
Posted: 4/8/2012 2:54:03 PM | | I was being mildly sarcastic about the copy and paste. That's based on a number of profiles that say "I won't reply to messages that say "Hi, how r u? or similar". | |
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| How hard do you work on POF?
Posted: 4/8/2012 2:56:33 PM | I assume that everyone wants a response eventually, otherwise they wouldn't be using a dating website.
The "numbers game" was meant in a positive way i.e.: stop being hung up over every rejection and carry on with the marketing exercise. | |
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| How hard do you work on POF?
Posted: 4/8/2012 3:15:05 PM | Hmmmm. 1:15 is not a great average but better than some. Some guys send msgs for a year with no responses. That is tenacity. When I started out I was not getting many replies, about like you 1:15. But after a few changes in my page and a lot lighter attitude twards this whole thing.... I'm doing much better. Maybe....lol.
Working hard at this doesn't seem the way to go, IMO. I'm still serious about it but in a different way now. Humor and actually talking to people I might want to be friends with should probably come first. Being too serious about it comes through in the keys here and sparks of desparation.
Numbers game... wow not sure any ladies want to be considered in this "game".
But as far as averages go, you're already doing better than some. | |
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| How hard do you work on POF?
Posted: 4/8/2012 4:09:04 PM | OK, thanks for your thoughts.
Numbers game for both parties. Nothing wrong with that concept is there?
I mean, I'm quite happy for a woman to not like me even if I appear on paper to meet their requirements, and vice versa.
Surely that's what dating sites are all about? | |
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| How hard do you work on POF?
Posted: 4/8/2012 4:27:06 PM | | I'm sure women are the same as most guys, they either get replies or they don't. For the ones that get too many replies, I think it's alot tougher! | |
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| How hard do you work on POF?
Posted: 4/8/2012 10:22:34 PM | | i do get some respnonses. usually because i'm just asking about something about what a woman wrote in her profile. or trying to say something funny about something i saw in her profile, or just complimenting her on her good taste in her clothes/looks or what she wrote. most of the time i'm not even trying to get a date anyway. just chatting with women and enjoying the responses i do get. and yes i've only been on here for a week and a half, but i've already had two dates and lots of conversations with others too. i dont need to work hard. i just send the messages and keep it pg rated when i send the messages | |
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| How hard do you work on POF?
Posted: 4/9/2012 2:43:51 AM | What are the numbers like on here?
A lot depends on the women you're trying to contact. The higher you shoot, the lower your reply percentages are likely to be. I'd say that a reasonable reply ratio would be 1 in 5 to 1 in 10 if you aren't afraid to contact and get shot down by attractive women who get lots of mail. Of course, if you don't shoot very high or you are really hot, you can probably do better in terms of percentages.
I believe that this site has to be taken in the context of a numbers game.
It is, but like any game that lends itself to statistical analysis, you need to experiment a little to find a way to enhance your odds. If you live in a large city where you aren't likely to exhaust your dating pool by sending messages that don't get replies, you can afford to take chances and figure out what gets you replies by experimenting and remembering what you said in your messages that worked and didn't work.
Or should I lower my effort levels and just copy and paste to as many women as I can find?
I never tried that approach, but I'd be willing to bet that as long as what you copied and pasted was wriiten with complete, grammatically correct sentences and no misspelled words, that in itself would be unusual enough to warrant consideration. | |
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| How hard do you work on POF?
Posted: 4/9/2012 5:37:15 AM | Work?? If anything about this experience was "work", I wouldn't bother with it.
I doubt I get as many messages as the average woman does, but I've never had a problem getting them in general.
My advice? Be as "over the top" ridiculous as you can possibly be in your profile. Save all the info about "the real you" for when they message you. | |
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| How hard do you work on POF?
Posted: 4/9/2012 7:09:36 AM |
Is what happened to me typical? Should I prepare myself to spend an hour a day messaging and hope that from that I might get a few replies over a few weeks?
Probably. For me its a bit higher, but then again, try setting up a date............................
I'm at #20 now, starting to think I was only messaging bots LMAO. Maybe I'm actually alone on this website and all the rest is an intricate robotic creation? Like Tron or something? 
Dont sweat it dude. | |
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| How hard do you work on POF?
Posted: 4/9/2012 7:36:22 AM | I am at a point that I know what I am and am not looking for, so I check in about weekly to see who is new and message 1 or 2 that seems interesting and try to send a message that shows my level of interest in her and not just sending another message.
However I have not received to many replies and most of my conversations have been started with the messages I receive vs the ones I send. Most have been the real short, "Hi how are you" messages but I think that is all it really takes for a guy to respond so I try to not focus on the first message to much. However several just had very little insight or interest and as a result did not spark my interest to much.
I do have one woman that has been the exception and also messaged me first with a few lines about my profile and has followed up with more questions and interest in each other. So far so good and texted a few times and talked on the phone Saturday. I hope we can setup a meet soon and see how it goes. All it takes is finding 1 right person so keep trying and be flexible with advice you get.
Oh and specifically to your question I think I got 1 response per maybe every 10 - 15 messages but I only send a few at a time. | |
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| How hard do you work on POF?
Posted: 4/9/2012 7:49:38 AM | | I've never sent a huge number of messages but my response rate is not as good as 1:15. So I wouldn't sweat about it. I've had more women contact me first than replied to my messages and I've never cut and pasted. It is what it is. | |
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| How hard do you work on POF?
Posted: 4/9/2012 9:01:26 AM | well, i mysef have looked at well over 200ish profiles, and sent maybe 50 msgs.. goten exactly ONE reply.
althought this morning i got a random user commenting on my profile and how they liked it.. so,, from my experance,, and a cpl friends who are on here also say hundreds or msgs they have sent out them selves.. but thats normal i think.. unless your some kinda bad boy or uber looking stud,, then woman seem to fall all over you | |
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| How hard do you work on POF?
Posted: 4/9/2012 1:26:42 PM | | dear friend I'm going throu the same thing, I consider miself an above average guy, I sent dozens of messages but here you don't get crap back and when you do it's usually a couple of words and then they desappear. i think we are getting what we are paying for ,you know what i mean? | |
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| How hard do you work on POF?
Posted: 4/9/2012 3:14:45 PM | I find it is very difficult and cutting and pasting might be the only way to go...lol! I do not find myself to be
unattractive and I never get reply's. Even when i'm digging the bottom of the barrel to make sure the reply button actually works | |
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| How hard do you work on POF?
Posted: 4/9/2012 4:42:37 PM |
How hard do you work on POF?
Depends on what you call work.
Take an "average" man; how many "average" women would he typically need to text in order to get a reply?
I don't know what an average man is.
I think I am pretty average in most ways possible.
My personal experience is every single person I've first contacted (save one) has generated a reply.
I've only contacted maybe a dozen people over the years on and off here though.
Is what happened to me typical?
Sure. Why not.
Just as typical, and probably more prevalent, are the "what up" and "u r hot" and "got pic?" and "wanna chat?" emails (at least based on the complaints on the number of those types of emails received).
So maybe that is more likely the statistical average.
So if you got one message at all that could be blowing the average to unprecedented heights.
Should I prepare myself to spend an hour a day messaging and hope that from that I might get a few replies over a few weeks?
What if you didn't email anyone at all for a while?
What if you took like a month, or several, or a year, seeing who comes and goes, reading profiles and getting to know them, learning to spot the anomalies in how people write their profiles.
Then when you find one that really "resonates" with you that you then take a few hours or maybe even a day to write out exactly what you want to say after really critically thinking about your profile and their profile?
Or should I lower my effort levels and just copy and paste to as many women as I can find?
Are you looking for at least one person you are truly relatively compatible with or are you just looking for a high inbox count? | |
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| How hard do you work on POF?
Posted: 4/9/2012 6:19:36 PM | | I don't work hard on it. Why should I? Or anyone? It should be natural. If I have a question, or there was a reason to be curious I might ask or try and make contact (although no longer necessary, as enough contacts have been made). If they respond and there is connection that continues on then there is hope. If not, nothing to worry about. I know some work hard at it 'playing the numbers game' by firing out dozens of form letters and hokey messages. I can't imagine that does much more than frustrate both parties. After creating your profile what is there to really work at? | |
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| How hard do you work on POF?
Posted: 4/10/2012 8:31:20 PM | | I respond to women who write in last sentence in profile ''any questions feel free to get back to me'' and yet i get no responses, is that working hard? | |
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| How hard do you work on POF?
Posted: 4/11/2012 3:58:19 AM | No - that's tacky.
You don't need to write novellas to potential partners; just vignettes about yourself tailored to what you find on their profiles. Women are people and are not grocery items that are to be taken from shelves, used and discarded. Be a gentleman. | |
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| How hard do you work on POF?
Posted: 4/11/2012 7:15:25 AM | I'm still not sure the best intro and tend to overdo it but the best intro I got sent to me is probably a much better example:
"Just wanted to send a note and say hi. I enjoyed your profile, plus you've read (and listed) Banker to the Poor which is a book I loved.
How are you? How was your weekend?
~ her name here ~"
It was short and to the point, it showed she read my profile and pointed out something we have in common based on what I listed. She also ended it with some conversation starters and questions.
So yea for me... so far have not worked to much other than getting lots of advice on the profile review forum and logging in once in a while to stay in the searches. | |
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| How hard do you work on POF?
Posted: 4/11/2012 11:47:14 AM | | I worked hard the first few years I joined back in 2004. Then I gave up and deleted my profile and came back several times. It is frustrating to not find a woman. I found several woman that met my requirements and had my interests, hobbies, likes, and dislikes but they lived in different states. I live in Indiana and it sucks that all the women are complete opposites of me in almost everything. Not to mention most are work all the time or spend all their time in college with no time for a man. | |
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