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 cutelondongirl2011
Joined: 8/16/2011
Msg: 1
seeking advice on my profilePage 1 of 1    
I have been on this site for awhile now and still no luck. Maybe im doing something wrong i dont know. Open to any suggestions or comments on how to make my profile better. Thanks for taking time to view my profile.
 Irish Eyez
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 2
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seeking advice on my profile
Posted: 4/10/2012 6:47:38 PM
You being a stay at home mom, guys will wonder how you support yourself and your child(ren). Men don't want to be the next meal ticket.

Your pix look all the same practically. Try for a variety.

Smoke: That' ll turn away a good percentile of men wish to date you.
 Marksfishing
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 3
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seeking advice on my profile
Posted: 4/10/2012 7:03:52 PM
Get two good pictures of yourself taken outside. The main you should be a close up of your face with a big smile. For the second, put on something nice and it should be an overall picture of your self. Look happy! You’re a pretty girl.
For your description, be positive! You seem down on your self. Don’t talk about the negatives.
 TempusFujis
Joined: 4/5/2012
Msg: 4
seeking advice on my profile
Posted: 4/10/2012 7:07:18 PM
Diana, do your self a favor please, lose the self taken pics I know you're part of the pumped up kicks generations that likes to take mirror pics of themselves but most of them are terrible.

Im sure you have friends or siblings, get one of them to take some pics, some casual , some dressed up etc, show a variety of shots.

Second , your profile needs a make over, the profile should be show you in the best of light, a reflection of your personality, you have some challenges , a stay at home mom, no car, I'm guessing not much extra funds to go out right?

Guys your age will see that and most will gone faster than Chocolate cake at a fat kid birthday party , when you do a profile think why should a guy email you? how are you different from the thousands of women on here?

I would change your profile name too
 cutelondongirl2011
Joined: 8/16/2011
Msg: 5
seeking advice on my profile
Posted: 4/10/2012 7:24:23 PM
Whats wrong with my profile name?
I know i dont go out much but its not cause
of my kid its hard when all u r is constantly
judged by guys who just want skinny pretty
girls being nice does nt count for much these
days.
 Irish Eyez
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 6
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seeking advice on my profile
Posted: 4/10/2012 7:40:58 PM
its hard when all u r is constantly
judged by guys who just want skinny pretty
girls


Then make the most of yourself. Dress up a little and get some pics taken. Smile in your pics, show teeth, be more approachable and stop taking pix where you look like you're hiding behind a bathroom wall!
 Marksfishing
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 7
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seeking advice on my profile
Posted: 4/10/2012 7:41:12 PM
Being nice does count. Women also want a good looking men. I’m an old fat guy but since I changed my pic to a happy one, I’ve also had a lot of messages. Get a male friend or relative to review your profile. There are a lot of single men with kids who are looking for someone like you! BE POSITIVE ON YOUR PROFILE! The negative will turn everyone off.
 Pengwie
Joined: 1/14/2012
Msg: 8
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Posted: 4/11/2012 3:47:04 AM
Profile Name ... Your pics actually make you look rather pale and bland... not necessarily "cute"
Maybe some makeup and a smile showing some teeth would improve your prospects.
Tied back hair pics from the bathroom are not necessailry appealing to most men.
Maybe get some pics showing you actually go outside and have outdoor activities.
Given your body type, you seem to find it important to mention your favorite eateries and food. Not good !!

You're 29 year old stay at home female smoker, with a HS education (did you graduate?), a child, no car and no job and you haven't indicated any real goals or ambitions. Guys in your age range might be looking for more than a stay at home woman eating takeout, pizza and cheesecake .

Assuming you were a single, 20ish, non smoking woman... would you be attracted to, want to date or entertain a relationship with a man who's profile read like yours ?

Lastly, since 80% of people on this site do not smoke... you're already at the low choice end of the POF pond.

Sorry... that may be the harsh reality you're facing ! Maybe POF is not the place for you to find someone.
 cutelondongirl2011
Joined: 8/16/2011
Msg: 9
seeking advice on my profile
Posted: 4/11/2012 4:37:21 AM
For your info i did graduate highschool.
Lots of people dont drive. Lots of people
are single with kids. And i dont just sit at
home and eat just cause listing fave food
ur just sterotyping i ve lost alot of weight
60pounds. I do have friends i do volunteer
work and raise my kid not just sit at home
doing nothing.trying to quit smoking.
 Pengwie
Joined: 1/14/2012
Msg: 10
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Posted: 4/11/2012 5:30:55 AM
OK then...
Mention HS Graduate in your profile. That's a positive !!
Mention that although an occasional smoker you are seriously trying to quit. That's a positive !!
Mention your weight loss (shows you are an achiever). That's another positive !!
Write Volunteer as your profession and expand on that in your profile. Positive !!
What kind of volunteering are you doing ? Are you looking for a job in that field ? Goals !!
Pics of you working as a volunteer !!! Better than bathroom pics.
Congrats on losing 60 lbs... do your pics reflect that ? Are they recent ?
Again... smile, show your teeth and also put on a bit of makeup.

Your opening remarks are somewhat negative about guys in general. Freshen that up and be more positive !!
You may also write about what type of men you'd be interested in meeting. Make it positive !!

Consider a profile as you would a potential job application.
Show your motivation, goals, objectives in life. Dress it up... and put on your best face and dress !!
Delete the silly stuff like fav foods, colors and mocha lattes !!
 TempusFujis
Joined: 4/5/2012
Msg: 11
seeking advice on my profile
Posted: 4/11/2012 5:37:57 AM
Here is why you should change your profile, when men see Cute, Hot, Sexy or anything like that and in your profile they automatically focus on the physical part and when they look at your pics and see someone not smiling, looking bland they move on the next profile in your profile you appear confident and by posting guys are looking for skinny chicks tells me you're not confident.

Your profile is kind of on the negative side, your pictures could be better, never take pictures of yourself in a bathroom, unless your bathroom looks like the Royal York Hotel with Granite tops, gold plated faucets etc.

What dont you post in your profile you're a domestic engineer, you've lost weight, you're a smoker who is quitting, you volunteer at ( where ever you volunteer)

You prefer a guy who either quit smoking or is quitting smoking, you've lost 60 lbs by doing ? and looking for a guy who is active and/or is doing the same thing.

I would keep the favorite movies, music and shows and lose the rest.
 SnowMoon2012
Joined: 1/21/2012
Msg: 12
seeking advice on my profile
Posted: 4/11/2012 6:00:32 AM
Good you do have some fire in you now sit down and write a profile that shows the spirited woman above...

Yes better pictures will help you have lovely skin hair and eyes which I am sure in-person look pretty and healthy unfortunately when we are fair photo's in bad lighting with out some make up on we tend to wash out... for now I would suggest moving photo 2 as your main ... when you get a chance to take some new ones try and wear red it would be stunning on you... (as they say the fellows are crazy for a lady in red)

If you feel like a cutelondongirl keep it ... the headline I would change
be-careful with to many LOL' s it is like an online nervous giggle... show confidence..
Wants to date but nothing serious again be careful what you ask for... Is that what you really want?
Smoking will not help but it is what it is there are plenty who will accept it or be thrilled not to be sent out of the house to smoke...

adding some more interests think about what you really enjoy doing try for at least ten

congrats on the weight loss I have just lost my first 15 so I know how hard it is... for now you may want to put bbw instead of a few extra pounds so you show up in searches for men who prefer a fuller figure...

lose any bitterness or negativity when writing about your self ...

for instance you could say I volunteer at ----- why you choose to donate your there...

all the best
 cutelondongirl2011
Joined: 8/16/2011
Msg: 13
seeking advice on my profile
Posted: 4/11/2012 6:23:57 AM
Thanks to peoples suggestions least I have some direction to work with. Somedays it is hard to remain positive when you are told not skinny enough or pretty enough. I try my best but sometimes it isn't good enough. I want to be liked for who I am and not feel the need to change. I know I don't have the best pics, not very photogenic and lack of confidence comes from being made to feel I'm not good enough it takes a lot to change that way of thinking.
 urgal2416
Joined: 1/15/2012
Msg: 14
seeking advice on my profile
Posted: 4/11/2012 4:40:31 PM
You'll get there. Just take some of the great advice that you read on here. I was also on here looking for a relationship, but I too, felt bad about myself. I decided that I have to work on the most important relationship in my life first before I can find love elsewhere. That relationship was with myself. I'm coming to find out, that even with those little wrinkles around my eyes and the extra padding, I'm a pretty great cookie. lol. I wish you all the best and happiness in the world. It's true what they say. It starts from within. :)
 cutelondongirl2011
Joined: 8/16/2011
Msg: 15
seeking advice on my profile
Posted: 4/15/2012 10:10:28 AM
Updated pics and profile what do you think?
 SnowMoon2012
Joined: 1/21/2012
Msg: 16
seeking advice on my profile
Posted: 4/15/2012 4:17:38 PM
Your hair down looks lovely purple was a good choice...

the profile reads much more positive... let it run for a while and see how it goes...
 CutTheCurtains
Joined: 4/11/2012
Msg: 17
seeking advice on my profile
Posted: 4/15/2012 4:55:00 PM
Hey Diana,

I do agree with TempuFujis, the mirror pictures are too much of a cliché. I'd take them down, and put another one where you're smiling.

Don't take any of my suggestions in the wrong way. There's a lot of things that I liked from reading your profile and I would also, quite frankly, push my grandmother down the stairs in exchange of strawberry light red hair like yours.

Everything in your profile seems positive. You have a few grammar mistakes, but it's nothing too serious but I would seperate your information in different paragraphs, there's too much different information jumbled into that one first paragraph. Seperate the description of yourself, your goals & wants and your likes.
 swpmiso
Joined: 5/22/2005
Msg: 18
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Posted: 4/15/2012 8:12:27 PM
On-line dating is a lot like trying to find work / employment.

"Most" everyone prefers the perky, happy, smiling, confident looking person to talk with and be seen with.

Sadly, we are a very "image driven" society. TV & movie stars are "all" attractive, front office staff are usually female and, again, "all" attractive. Those of us, myself included, who don't have the rugged "Brad Pitt" physical attributes are sadly often overlooked BEFORE our personalities are even given a chance to shine through.

From what I have read, everyone has been offering constructive feedback so far. Consider the suggestions, look at yourself honestly and seek just a couple-three enhancements. Shoot, I am even seriously considering some plastic surgery to remove moles on my face & neck.

Believe in yourself. Be someone people want to be around and you will be amazed at how your written word will change and attract some potentially nice people.

~Scott
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