| | Messaging 2 girls - a problem!Page 1 of 1 | | So I was messaging a few girls on pof at once and got myself 2 numbers and have been chatting away to these girls for a few days each. I was wondering what peoples thoughts on this were. Neither knows about the other by coincedence, not design, it just never came up in conversation yet. I have offered to meet one of these then the other one asked to meet me. What are your thoughts on this? Obviously I would not date both indefinitely, but where does the line fall? is it socially acceptable to meet each girl once to see if there is some chemistry ? | |
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| Messaging 2 girls - a problem!
Posted: 4/11/2012 4:18:07 PM | I think I could handle two first meets within a few days, but after that I would make a choice. I couldn't date two men at once while trying to work out which one I wanted to continue with. I would find myself holding back a little so as not to lead either of them on and it would do my head in.
But there is nothing wrong with dating a couple of different women at once so long as you haven't told them differently. If they ask you will need to be honest and see how they feel about it. Lots of people on here do multiple dating and there is nothing wrong with it. It's just not for me. | |
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| Messaging 2 girls - a problem!
Posted: 4/11/2012 4:34:32 PM | | Nothing wrong with it as long as: you go out with 1 and don't like her and don't plan a date again. Also, with internet dating you have to factor in the no shows, the fact that you have to meet up in order to date. So really with internet dating it is not a date on the first date. make sense? | |
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| Messaging 2 girls - a problem!
Posted: 4/11/2012 4:43:11 PM | | Dude, girls date around all the time. Like you're the only dude these girls are talking to. You should know better. | |
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| Messaging 2 girls - a problem!
Posted: 4/11/2012 4:48:04 PM | Meet each
and then decide.
It is a bad idea to get too far ahead of the dating curve.
As one might not fancy you upon meeting
and solve the dilemma for you. | |
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| Messaging 2 girls - a problem!
Posted: 4/11/2012 4:48:07 PM | | Thanks for the help! Was just what I was thinking, get to see each once and see if there is really chemistry etc as texts and calls can be misleading, then move from there accordingly. Just confirmed what I was thinking! | |
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| Messaging 2 girls - a problem!
Posted: 4/11/2012 6:41:29 PM | You haven't met either one of them in person yet, so what you're doing is exactly what you should be doing. I tried to keep as many conversations as possible going since once it comes time to put up or shut up with respect to meeting in person, anything can happen. I drew the line at the point I met someone I was going to see a second time. Until the first date/meeting ends and a second date is pretty much in the bag, you should assume the meeting was just one more one shot wonder.
is it socially acceptable to meet each girl once to see if there is some chemistry ?
It's socially acceptable among those who date several people at once, but it wasn't my thing. If there wasn't chemistry to start with, it just wasn't there. | |
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| Messaging 2 girls - a problem!
Posted: 4/12/2012 3:06:22 AM | Well, until you meet one in person that you want to see again, and she wants to see you again-you are not actually dating. So chat up as many as possible. Once you meet someone you want to date, and you expect them to only see you, you stop chatting with the other ladies. Until then, chat away!
I tried accepting dates from 2 men in the early stages of dating once, and for me personally, it was not any fun at all. I am the type if I really like someone, I dont even see other men so all was doing was wasting the other mans time. In hindsight, that was wrong. (for myself, others will disagree and thats fine, to each thier own)
The key is to flush out the other persons style of dating very early on-never assume that because you will stop settingup 1st meets after you meet someone that they will as well. Ive come to learn there are a few different points of view on this and you will be surprised to learn how many people think it is fine to keep meeting new people while 'dating' you. Discuss it with them directly. | |
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| Messaging 2 girls - a problem!
Posted: 4/12/2012 6:27:26 AM |
Messaging 2 girls - a problem!
Yes it's definitely a problem at only 2 girls! If I'm messaging 2 girls then I'll be looking to increase that number right away. | |
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| Messaging 2 girls - a problem!
Posted: 4/12/2012 9:39:04 AM | | You have not met either one so you are not dating or cheating, just talking. Talking to numerous people is how you get a date. | |
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| Messaging 2 girls - a problem!
Posted: 4/12/2012 1:43:04 PM | | Date whomever you want to date unless/until you discuss and agree to become monogamous and exclusive with one. | |
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| Messaging 2 girls - a problem!
Posted: 4/12/2012 3:14:31 PM | Arrange to meet them both at the same place and time, and let them figure out who gets you.
Just kidding. Meet them both, find more, have a date or three with them all, and then decide who you like best. If it's mutual, keep seeing them and stop seeing the others. You are free to meet and date anyone you want, until you decide to focus on one or agree with one to be exclusive. | |
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| Messaging 2 girls - a problem!
Posted: 4/12/2012 8:53:36 PM | | I know loads of women who date a new guy from this site every night. Besides thats just called dating. | |
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| Messaging 2 girls - a problem!
Posted: 4/13/2012 7:30:41 AM | Your young so enjoy yourself
But, it's a good you ask such a question. You're obviously thinking like a decent guy and adding some positive checkmarks to the ledger of the much maligned male gender. | |
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| Messaging 2 girls - a problem!
Posted: 4/13/2012 9:13:50 AM |
Dude, girls date around all the time. Like you're the only dude these girls are talking to. You should know better.
This. promise you she's talking to a billion guys already | |
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| Messaging 2 girls - a problem!
Posted: 4/13/2012 11:12:57 AM | Yes, of course.
If you haven't discerned this already, most of the ladies here are dating several guys at the same time. Some will do this indefinitely and laugh with their girlfriends about free meals, drinks, trips and gifts. Others will weed-out the less desirable suitors until a "winner" surfaces.
Play the field. Meet both of these ladies. You can't even tell if a woman is being truthful in her profile info, conversations, texts, e-mails, etc. You have to meet them. There's no need to advise a date that you are dating/seeing someone else until you decide to become exclusive. Then, you have to do the right thing, you've got to be a gentleman and fly right.
It's a "Sales Funnel" process, unfortunately. | |
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| Messaging 2 girls - a problem!
Posted: 4/13/2012 1:18:30 PM | Good job. That IS what you're supposed to do. You don't think each of those girls (assuming they're at least close to cute), isn't talking to other dudes? Of course they are. You two haven't met yet, even. You're supposed to play the field until you start clicking with one of them. And after the 3rd date (common), things aren't clicking, you stop being involved with the girl, whether it be one of them or both of them!
The real problem is if you click well with both -- and both want to pretty much 'go steady' with you -- then you've got a decision to make. | |
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| Messaging 2 girls - a problem!
Posted: 4/15/2012 9:13:30 AM | | Nothing with talking to multiple women at once. Nothing wrong with going out on a few dates with multiple women. Going out on a few dates with someone doesn't necessarily equal an exclusive relationship. After a few dates, you could focus on the woman you like better and end things with the other woman. Or you could end things with both women if there isn't a connection with either one. | |
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| Messaging 2 girls - a problem!
Posted: 4/15/2012 2:02:05 PM |
Meet up with both of them - just make sure you don't mix them up.
That's why you put together a dossier of information. Just remember if they have similar names to make sure you get them right!
Frankly I only date one person at a time and I let them know it, whether or not they stop seeing other people isn't my call to make, eventually exclusivity will be expected.
Most of my friends are female so my expectations have gotten lowered from years of seeing them date multiple guys and juggle them like produce.
I refuse to be anyone's booty call....
Okay I lied, I'd totally be Ryan Reynold's booty call.
Wait, what were we talking about?
To the OP: Just schedule them back to back, if the first one doesn't show then you didn't waste your evening. Of course make sure the first date knows you are booked later in the evening.
2 girls isn't a problem, at least if you have a million dollars. I've learned much from Office Space. | |
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| Messaging 2 girls - a problem!
Posted: 4/15/2012 7:10:10 PM | | I don't see the problem. Until you agree to be exclusive, both you and they are free to message and date anyone you choose. Just don't get the two mixed up. I've done that. It doesn't go over too well. | |
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| Messaging 2 girls - a problem!
Posted: 4/17/2012 2:41:51 AM | As long as they both know you are talking to others it's all good. You are still in the friend zone. If you start hooking up with one of them and then still stay in contact with the other; LIKE MANY DO!; then that's not cool.
Just be honest and don't mess with anyones head/heart and you will do great. good luck! | |
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