| | Dosen't want to move in with anybodyPage 1 of 7 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7) | | Does anybody else feel the same way? I am at a point in life where I am reasonably happy with my living situation. It would be nice to be involved in an exclusive relationship with a lady who felt the same way. It seems that a lot of women are looking more for marraige or long term cohabitation. I'm not talking about a FWB casual thing. | |
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| Dosen't want to move in with anybody
Posted: 4/13/2012 10:00:39 AM | | I find it usually depends on the woman's financial situation and age. I have a few women friends over 50 that are financially secure, own their own home, can travel at will. All 3 have male companions to travel with, enjoy,they still have strong sex drives but they don't want to live with them full time. Whatever is comfortable for two people works. | |
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ro1970
| | Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 4 | |
| Dosen't want to move in with anybody
Posted: 4/13/2012 10:32:53 AM | no way would I ever live with someone again.....been there done that. I like my life the way it is just fine.
I can come and go as I damn well please and the place is the way I left it, good, bad, ugly, or indifferent.
I don't have to cook dinner for anyone but myself, don't have to listen to someone constantly ****ing about how they shouldn't have to help around the house, much less beg them to do it.
I don't have to argue with anyone about finances, or what were going to watch on TV tonite.
Took me quite a while to get to this place, but it is nice knowing everything I have is mine and I don't have to share it with anyone.
Hell NO! | |
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| Dosen't want to move in with anybody
Posted: 4/13/2012 10:52:00 AM | I'd be happy with that arrangement...At least for the foreseeable future.
I have teenagers at home and WILL NOT have anyone overnight here when they are home which as I am the sole parent, is all the time unless they have a sleep over somewhere.
I don't want someone moving in here and placing a claim on my property and, as I run a business from my home, I don't want to relocate to someone else's home as it would mean losing my business. Even if I started up again somewhere else, it would take a year or so to rebuild my client base and 'his' home might not be a suitable premises presuming he was even open to the idea.
I would be more then happy to have an exclusive relationship which does not require us sharing a home, although,one day, once the children are gone and I am not providing for their every need, the need for such a high income would also leave too. And I would like the companionship that comes from sharing a home - when the time is right.
I think there are many people who would be happier that way - it's just not always considered because it's not the 'norm' these days. But hey, whose interested in going with the masses anyway ! LOL | |
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| Dosen't want to move in with anybody
Posted: 4/13/2012 10:57:37 AM | I'm with ro, I never knew inependence could be such fun.
No one to answer to, I can clean up or leave the house looking like a shit pit, my choice. No more someone in the background whinging and moaning they can't find something when they blatently haven't looked any further than the end of their nose...
Took me a while to get here though, for years after I divorced I still felt the need to explain where/what I was doing but had no one to tell!!!!
Liberating to say the least!! | |
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| Dosen't want to move in with anybody
Posted: 4/13/2012 11:01:50 AM | | I do enjoy living on my own.. However if I met the right person that I thought I could share my life with then I would not half step.. I found that most people do not wish to share their life with another so am rather surprised you cannot find someone of the same mindset.. | |
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| Dosen't want to move in with anybody
Posted: 4/13/2012 12:18:29 PM | I am surprised at the number of women who suggest that they are ok having an LTR without it leading to cohabitation- I have yet to meet a woman where moving in together was not high on her priority list. What also surprises me is the women suggesting that they are concerned about coming out of cohabitation worse off than they went in - this is typically a fear many men have when it comes to cohabitating.
<div class='quote'> Actually yes, a person with more assets/higher income is concerned about coming out worse off regardless of a gender.
I whole heartedly agree and I was waiting for someone else to bring this up. Maybe my problem is that I have always met women who were not as financially secure as me and part of thier motivation may have been to improve thier circumstances. And for the record I am referring to a long term exculsive relationship without cohabitation. | |
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| Dosen't want to move in with anybody
Posted: 4/13/2012 12:23:37 PM | | Well Mr. Lantern, I am one gal who wishes for a monogamous dating relationship without cohabitation. I think I have a "marriage allergy". Most all I meet though are men who want me and a few others at same time. I won't do that. I don't have a need to cohabitate at the present time. I have my own home, great job, friends. I just miss the comfort in having a man around..not 24/7 but around! | |
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| Dosen't want to move in with anybody
Posted: 4/13/2012 12:35:47 PM | I so enjoy a woman that wants to keep her independence, her own place, her own finances, her own security, and yet enjoys adventures, escapes, and time together. The equality of it all is so refreshing, and knowing that I do not have to hear about moving in with me, renting or selling their place, being together day in and day out...is so much a relief that it becomes a turn on.
Anyone meeting and dating me, knows that I am not interested in marrying again, and even though I am more then open to a wonderful relationship, I have no desire to give up my independence and take care of someone that can not take care of themselves. Unless I planned on starting another family, I see no reason to play the role of husband, care taker, provider, and daddy. Since that is not within reason for me, I just want to enjoy my equal, that will bring as much to the table as I do, and happy as well as secure to do so.
cd | |
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| Dosen't want to move in with anybody
Posted: 4/13/2012 12:38:30 PM |
I am surprised at the number of women who suggest that they are ok having an LTR without it leading to cohabitation- I have yet to meet a woman where moving in together was not high on her priority list. What also surprises me is the women suggesting that they are concerned about coming out of cohabitation worse off than they went in - this is typically a fear many men have when it comes to cohabitating. Actually yes, a person with more assets/higher income is concerned about coming out worse off regardless of a gender.
In regards to cohabitation – it has no value to me at all. It’s either we are getting legally married, or have an LTR living separately. | |
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| Dosen't want to move in with anybody
Posted: 4/13/2012 12:39:06 PM | I agree with what has been said. Speaking for myself, there are days that you come home from work and you just don't feel like talking. The beauty of living by yourself is....you don't have to. No ones feelings are hurt and you don't have to answer any questions.
I would like to find that "special someone" to be exclusive with ......but just not live together. | |
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| Dosen't want to move in with anybody
Posted: 4/13/2012 12:42:16 PM | I want to live with someone. I don't need a wedding band but I want the co-habitating part, the live together part, the committing to each other part. I don't want a Saturday night F-buddy and someone to go to Mexico with once a year. I want a partner.
I don't know if I feel this way because I have never been divorced - I have only good marriage/living together memories. I have no one to be pissed off at, I don't hate men and I dont' find them a pain in the ass. I am tired to making Campbells soup for one and coming home to a quiet, empty house, except for the damn cat. | |
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| Dosen't want to move in with anybody
Posted: 4/13/2012 12:45:58 PM | | I have always thought that a duplex may me the best way to go. We can each have our own places and keep them how we want them, our alone time and our together time. | |
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| Dosen't want to move in with anybody
Posted: 4/13/2012 12:56:49 PM | Yeah but eventually what happens after a year or two is it simply gets too confusing and difficult to spend the night at each others house when all your stuff and things you need are in separate homes. Then one starts bringing over more stuff like clothes and toiletries etc...to the home of the most convenient for both and you are in essence living together.
Then you also realize how much money you save sharing things and it seems almost foolish to keep paying double for services etc...
For me it usually boils down to being frustrated with waking up in one house and having my wardrobe in another and the clothes I brought over the night before aren't sufficient for the last minute change of plans. Then I pack a suitcase and the new pots and pans. | |
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| Dosen't want to move in with anybody
Posted: 4/13/2012 1:09:35 PM |
I want to live with someone. I don't need a wedding band but I want the co-habitating part, the live together part, the committing to each other part. I don't want a Saturday night F-buddy and someone to go to Mexico with once a year. I want a partner.
I don't know if I feel this way because I have never been divorced - I have only good marriage/living together memories. I have no one to be pissed off at, I don't hate men and I dont' find them a pain in the ass. I am tired to making Campbells soup for one and coming home to a quiet, empty house, except for the damn cat. u go girl- u know exactly what u want & I for one think u r gonna get it! keep ur chin up, I know ur prince on 2 wheels is out there! | |
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| Dosen't want to move in with anybody
Posted: 4/13/2012 1:12:49 PM | Then you also realize how much money you save sharing things and it seems almost foolish to keep paying double for services etc
I rent out the basement of my house and I have yet to meet a woman who feels she should contribute as much to expenses as what my renter pays me to only occupy half my house. So if I cohabitate I am not better off financially and I seemingly have to allow the woman to dominate every square inch of the house with her taste resulting in me feeling like it really is not my home anymore where I have the freedom to do as I please. In my last live in relationship I suggested that I move all my stuff into the basement and this would be my space to do as I please but this was not acceptable. | |
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| Dosen't want to move in with anybody
Posted: 4/13/2012 1:28:59 PM | | By all means, Mr. Lantern, a man is allowed his mancave! Just don't expect us to clean it! lol...I know of a fellow who was dating a gal. They decided to live together in his home. He set up something that more or less from a legal perspective, had her as a renter. He worked, she didn't. But she did cook and clean. He seemed fine with it until it ended. Didn't end from a financial issue though | |
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| Dosen't want to move in with anybody
Posted: 4/13/2012 1:36:52 PM | I rent out the basement of my house and I have yet to meet a woman who feels she should contribute as much to expenses as what my renter pays me to only occupy half my house. So if I cohabitate I am not better off financially and I seemingly have to allow the woman to dominate every square inch of the house with her taste resulting in me feeling like it really is not my home anymore where I have the freedom to do as I please. In my last live in relationship I suggested that I move all my stuff into the basement and this would be my space to do as I please but this was not acceptable.
You haven't met the right one yet. I doubt any woman who genuinely loves you would put all your stuff in the basement unless you have really bad taste. On another note.....women like to feel protected and provided for, it's a deep intrinsic genetic gender thing, hard-wired in. And men want to provide and protect his woman. However in the modern world this can be done by simply taking her out to eat once a week and then checking the locks on her house. The guy I'm seeing right now just installed two new smart locks at my house of his own volition, he asked persmission first.....I'm hugely impressed. My intrinsic needs are being met.
So just try to pay a bit more than she does, but don't get taken advantage of. The men I've co-habitated with in their homes asked me for a percentage to pay of the bills and it was never 50/50. alway less. They felt like they were providing, I felt like I was protected and provided for and they only shelled out a couple hundred extra each month. And most likely I made up the difference in a myriad of ways. | |
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| Dosen't want to move in with anybody
Posted: 4/13/2012 1:46:17 PM | | I would agree with this post - I like the idea of living with someone. I think the key is to find someone who is similar in lifestyle(s), habits and having a desire for the same amount of togetherness and seperateness while living together. I like the idea that someone is there for me and vice versa, sharing in all the daily things - life is so much of the "daily" things and I like the closeness of sharing a life. I don't look at it like it's a pain but more a pleasure. I have not had a bad experience either. We seem to have become a society of "what's in it for me" understandably since so many have gotten burned. I counsel adults and I hear stories from them about how they are not going to do this or that based on a bad experience and calling it freedom. | |
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| Dosen't want to move in with anybody
Posted: 4/13/2012 2:06:34 PM |
I want to live with someone. I don't need a wedding band but I want the co-habitating part, the live together part, the committing to each other part. I don't want a Saturday night F-buddy and someone to go to Mexico with once a year. I want a partner.
I'm with ya on this one, Welsh---I want the day-to-day sweetness of sharing life together. Nurturing the best of who we are together, sharing the incidentals of daily life along with the tough stuff that comes up. Partnership. There are ways to do that and still maintain the sense of independence, too....being joined at the hip 24/7, I believe isn't good for anybody. At least, not for me and I couldn't partner with someone who didn't understand that, too. | |
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| Dosen't want to move in with anybody
Posted: 4/13/2012 2:11:57 PM | other than the "deep intrinsic genetic gender thing, hard-wired in" to "feel protected and provided for," ... and wanting to live WITH someone ...
I pretty-much go along with the other comments ...
I'd like to have a relationship that would, hopefully, be long-term ... but with everyone keeping their own homes, their own identities ... the last "long-term" relationship I was in, the man kept pressuring me to move into his home with him ... it felt as though he wasn't listening to what I said I wanted which was to have my OWN space, my own garden, my own friends, my own identity ...
I tried to accommodate his wishes, feed his insecurities but, eventually, I realized someone with as many insecurities as he had would never be satisfied, no matter how many hoops I jumped ... so I jumped right out and have been relationship free since ...
because I can't find a man who wants an equal but separate relationship ... committed but not joined at the hip ... one who doesn't feel compelled to mold me into his fantasy of the partner he deserves ... I laugh NOW as I remember the man who said he thought I would fit into his ex-wives' clothing and their wigs ... it's funny now but, at the time, I ran like crazy ... | |
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| Dosen't want to move in with anybody
Posted: 4/13/2012 2:15:52 PM | | I want a partnership and a committed relationship. I just do not want to get married again right now. I do not want to live with someone right now. I do not want a FWB. And you can have those things with out a marriage or living with each other. | |
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| Dosen't want to move in with anybody
Posted: 4/13/2012 2:48:08 PM | @ Miss W
I like your idea of a duplex. My nephew rents the bottom dwelling of a duplex in Beverly Hills once owned by the late Shelly Winters. ( a famous actress for all you youngsters out there.) She owned it the last 20 years of her life. She occupied the bottom apartment and had her current boyfriend at any given time occupied the top apartment. Two separate apartments on top of each other. It's an awesome place with stained glass from the 30's. | |
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