| | Attention on other people in other words, your date is giving "the look"...Page 1 of 2 (1, 2) | Have you ever been to parties, concerts, restaurants you know, any type of social atmospheres where you are with the person you've been dating for a say, a couple of months & you notice he or she is giving "the look"?
When I say "the look" I mean, this person is not concentrating their full attention on you but, they're scoping out the crowd, looking at others (almost with a drool-like face) & just not being simply interested in you?
When someone more attractive than you walks by & you notice that they flirt or even speak to the other person, do you just brush it off like, "oh well, people look" or do you feel weirded out like they're not interested in you at all?
Do you brush off this as just he/she looking b/c everyone looks or do you feel intimidated b/c that person is more attractive than you & if so, do you let your date know? Seriously, the grass sometimes is always greener on the other side...
How do you feel you should handle the situation? | |
|
| Attention on other people in other words, your date is giving the look...
Posted: 4/16/2012 3:41:48 PM | | If it's just a random date I wouldn't worry too much about it. Just slowly make your way around the room and find someone that's as interested as you are. If its your actual SO I would highly suggest checking them on it HARD (not necessarily publicly though). Never happened to me before but I have been on dates and kinda looked around and would have rather been anywhere else. | |
|
| |
| |
| Attention on other people in other words, your date is giving the look...
Posted: 4/17/2012 10:22:59 AM | That's completely unacceptable. I would get up and leave without saying a word and never speak to that person again. Period.
If this happened to you, OP, I am very sorry for that and I hope you did not tolerate it. No one deserves to be treated that way by their "date" even if it is at a party or social engagement. | |
|
| Attention on other people in other words, your date is giving the look...
Posted: 4/17/2012 6:26:21 PM | they're scoping out the crowd, looking at others (almost with a drool-like face) & just not being simply interested in you?
you notice that they flirt or even speak to the other person
First talk with him to let him know what you are noticing. However, make it clear that there will be no more chances. Ever.
If it happens again (even months later), inform him: "You have chosen to end this relationship" and leave. This is not a negotiation tactic. You are permanently stopping your mistreatment.
Some guys don't respect women - that's the gateway to future abuse for women involved with them. | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| Attention on other people in other words, your date is giving the look...
Posted: 4/21/2012 1:05:18 AM | I like to look at it from another perspective.
First off, this person is out with you. So naturally he/she has some attraction yo you physically, but that only last for a very short time. The next step is to attract the person with your personality to keep that interest going.
For example, about a year ago I was dating a girl for about 4 months. We were at a bar having drinks and I do admit some other woman there were definetly catching my attention and was even approched by one of them while the girl I was with is talking with her friends. The girl I was with noticed my lack of attention and instead of causing a scene she stepped up her game and drew me back in by engaging me with her awsome personality, and by making me laugh and feel wanted. I thought this was a sign of confidence and a interesting way to approch this situation.Unfortunately she had move away.
If your partner eyes are wondering it might neccesirily be his/her fault. Maybe you are not providing the neccessary attributes to sustain a relationship right now. Personally, if this ever happened to ( which probably not because I'm the coolest guy ever) I would first try a different approch instead of getting all pissy and walking out like a quitter. | |
|
| |
| Attention on other people in other words, your date is giving the look...
Posted: 4/21/2012 8:18:55 AM | The look, quite familiar with this, mostly when I was younger. There are actually a number of kinds of “looks”. I never had anyone walk out on me, but did have a few fights over it.
Now I would mention a hot looking women to my SO, check that one out, she is hot. That way I get to look and get off the hook at the same time. IM experience, there is no way a man can check out another women without his date noticing it, women have radar.
The most significant look I remember was when I was about 37, and dating this women for 9 months. We were leaving my apartment early in the AM and got onto an elevator.
In walks a very cute, smiling women that turned out to by my neighbor, she seemed very bubbly to me. We gave each other a look, and mutually said good morning.
It must have been a very hot look, when I glanced at my GF she was giving me another look, one I like to call her “death star look”. My GF had quite a temper.
2 years later, I married the happy, bubbly women. After 13 years the look wore off, but that's another story. | |
|
| Attention on other people in other words, your date is giving the look...
Posted: 4/22/2012 6:50:52 AM | | Men ARE going to look, are going to notice attractive women, but should maintain their primary focus on their date, and should not get distracted even when they notice. If in a great and secure relationship like my own, my SO will even point out the eye candy for my viewing pleasure, because she knows they are NO threat to her, and like most men, I do enjoy simply seeing a beautiful woman. | |
|
| Attention on other people in other words, your date is giving the look...
Posted: 4/23/2012 4:27:02 PM | | OP, I have read a number of your threads. You do not give yourself enough credit. Please get your confidence up as you have a lot of positives in your life and are cute, too. Do not let a man treat you disrespectfully. Address it verbally, if he does not shape up, walk away because he does not deserve you. | |
|
| Attention on other people in other words, your date is giving the look...
Posted: 4/26/2012 9:01:24 AM | Things shift gears after you've hit that plateau -- solidly past the "honeymoon" phase. People are going to be more apt to "look around the room", mall watching. And yes, more apt to take a gander at the "hot one" walking into the room, but that shouldn't happen too often. If you freak out about that, and only that once-in-a-while moment, you're overly jealous.
Now, if they're looking at every decently attractive guy or girl walking into the bar, and "licking their chops" in their own subtle ways, then yeah, that's a problem. They're losing interest in you. Make sure though you know the difference between mall watching & horn-dogging. Don't let jealously get in the way of sound judgement.
And if they are visually horn-dogging it, then you'll see other signs of lack of interest as well. If you don't, then chances are, the horn-dogging part is just your imagination, and they're just mall-watching. | |
|
| Attention on other people in other words, your date is giving the look...
Posted: 4/26/2012 11:28:01 AM | | You should cut the guy some slack....it's not easy being on a date. Not only do we need to craftily find time to look at your boobs when you don't know, but we also have to find the time to look around the room too. A guy is *bound* to slip up at one or the other at some point in the evening. | |
|
| |
| |
| Attention on other people in other words, your date is giving the look...
Posted: 4/26/2012 9:52:56 PM | MetalVixxn says,
"It's never happened to me but if it did, I'd probably be pissed."
ROFL...
See, that's what guys like about women(or not). Women don't just get hysterical about details but they get historical. Men, if you know what you're doing, you better learn to count because 1,2,3 strikes and your OUT!
XD | |
|
| Attention on other people in other words, your date is giving the look...
Posted: 4/27/2012 8:23:45 AM | First I analyize the situation.
Does his actions bother me ? - most likely yes
Am I getting what I need from him? - most likely no
Then why am I staying ? - the sex is probably good
My conclusion - first talk to him (but i've found from past experience, talking doesn't usually do anything), then i'll stay for a while until the sex is bad but in my opinion what is good for him, is darn well good for me...so i'd do the same in return... then when i get tired of the sex, a goodbye is in order.
In the end, we both get what we want. A selfish and irregular way of looking at such a situation, I know.
But these types of situations are just 'games'. And hey, if i'm benefiting from the game, i'll play a while and if not? i'm outta there..
But would I ever feel bad or jelous or hurt by his actions? never...he's not worth it, but i'd certinally give him a run for his money... | |
|
| |
ssr51
| | Joined: 4/22/2012
Msg: 22 | |
| |
| |
| Attention on other people in other words, your date is giving the look...
Posted: 4/27/2012 1:29:19 PM | Have you ever been to parties, concerts, restaurants you know, any type of social atmospheres where you are with the person you've been dating for a say, a couple of months & you notice he or she is giving "the look"?
Not really, but I think I'd only be bothered by that if we were just getting to know each other. After dating a couple of months, I get the idea that a woman doesn't really have any imagination if she doesn't look. Looking is not the same thing as following through or even really looking in the sense of shopping for a replacement.
Do you brush off this as just he/she looking b/c everyone looks or do you feel intimidated b/c that person is more attractive than you &
Neither. I'd tease her about it. I've mentioned this before, but the first time my fiancee went to see the physician she sees, she told me that he was so attractive that she got flustered. I just asked her if that made the breast exam more enjoyable. Seriously, I'm not worried about getting replaced. Knowing there are guys out there who are a lot hotter than I am is not going to be news so for whatever reason women have wanted to date me, it wasn't any resemblence to George Clooney, so I'm not worried that a woman I'm dating would leave me for another guy just because he's better looking. I might be worried if I was hot enough to get dates based on my looks, though.
Seriously, the grass sometimes is always greener on the other side...
That's a personality problem for which shopping for the next best thing applies to a lot more than just dates. It's something you can spot in a person's general behaviour. It's not looking at other's that's the problem. It's the general character of the person doing the looking. A person who is always shopping will shop whether that person is with you or not. A person who just looks will still look yet never act on it, so why worry about the looking? What you need to worry about is whether he's just looking or he's shopping. | |
|
| Attention on other people in other words, your date is giving the look...
Posted: 4/28/2012 6:01:19 PM | LadyRider81 says,
<div class="quote">"Step up your game and give him a reason to look at you. Your lack of confidence is an immediate put off. If you feel disrespected, you could vocalize it but all it will do is put a magnifying glass on your low self esteem and no one finds that sexy."
Yup, I see why YOU don't have a problem with confidence or self-esteem! You're like a "Shot-through-the-heart", man-killer! I dig the leather. Your bike looks beautiful too! ;)
| |
|
Home
login 
