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| | You are Hot!!!Page 1 of 43 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41) | | Guys, I have a problem here. I want your opinion men and women. If someone you started to chat/text whatever, and after a while before you meet them they will say You Are Hot do you think they are break dealers. I find very insulting and I stop contacting them. Thank you | |
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| You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/19/2012 2:55:57 AM | You're insulted because they think you're sexy and stop contacting them?
Wow....that's uptight if you ask me.
I'd take it as a compliment..........and all the more so if I am attracted to them.
Do you continue contact with men who don't find you attractive or just with
the one's who don't compliment you or use what you consider 'acceptable" wording and timing.
Guys, I have a problem here.
Yep....you do.You are acting as though thier compliment is beneath you and that's just silly. | |
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| You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/19/2012 3:01:17 AM | | personally, i dont think you're all that...so be lucky you're getting those compliments...and its 'deal-breakers'..not break dealers'..lol | |
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| You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/19/2012 3:16:13 AM | When someone gives you a complement, say THANK YOU. If that's how they mean it, then you should too.
If their complement continues into crossing the line, then you SHOULD be offended.
And please don't break any Dealers : ) | |
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| You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/19/2012 3:21:51 AM | | Why would an attempt at flattery be a deal breaker? Ill admit your hot sounds more awkward to me (and always makes me want to make temperature jokes, sometimes my lack of filter lets them slip out) but a deal breaker? Hell no, they are trying to complement you. | |
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| You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/19/2012 3:31:16 AM | If you are uncomfortable..move on.
Men do not know what you want to hear..So I suggest that you wear a T shirt that states it.
" Stop telling me I'm hot"
They will.
I rather hear I am hot than I have a rocking body, which leaves the rest of me out and lacking it seems. BOO HOO
You are pretty Op..But come on..You really need to ask or just want to toot a bit? | |
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| You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/19/2012 3:35:34 AM | And your compliant is...the attention you're seeking is... | |
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| You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/19/2012 3:40:23 AM | " And your compliant is...the attention you're seeking is... "
It takes someone insightful to catch that.
Reminds me of a Marxist Statement, which was, to the effect that he would not belong to any Club that would have him as a Member.
Marx also stated, " A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. "
I refer not to Karl, but rather GROUCHO! lol
"Women should be obscene and not heard. " Groucho Marx
I think that they should be obscene, AND heard, when appropriate : ) | |
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| You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/19/2012 3:57:51 AM | | I get this quite often, and while I don't find it insulting.....I wonder what sort of reaction they expect, because, I'm NOT all that. Seriously....do guys think all they have to do is throw out a cheesy compliment and have a woman fall all over them? | |
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| You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/19/2012 3:57:51 AM | | Your post implies you were having a running conversation with him and you say after a while he said that. What's wrong with that? His way of saying I think your pretty, attractive whatever. It' called a compliment and usually the receiving party of that compliment says Thank You. It would be different if that was the first thing out of his mouth and only thing. If you feel your "hotness" is the ONLY thing he is interested in then that is your deal-breaker not the compliment he paid you. | |
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| You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/19/2012 4:02:58 AM | JSNC7 -this quote was in the Annie Hall movie -
"usually attributed to Groucho Marx; but, I think it appears originally in Freud's "Wit and Its Relation to the Unconscious," and it goes like this - I'm paraphrasing - um, "I would never want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member." | |
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| You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/19/2012 4:06:04 AM | " I get this quite often, and while I don't find it insulting.....I wonder what sort of reaction they expect, because, I'm NOT all that."
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Hot or not.
" If it gets laughs, it's funny" George Burns
If it appears to be a sincere complement, say THANK YOU.
If they cross the line, have at them, but respectfully.
Just because they may have crossed the line, if you want respect, don't deny them their's. | |
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| You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/19/2012 4:16:01 AM | Sounds to me, that you have come through direct experience, to associate that phrase (or something like it) with a guy who is so focused on your physical attributes, that he entirely forgets about you as a person. Not wanting to be used as a sexual object alone for the umpteenth time, you drop every guy who uses the phrase.
Makes sense to me, more or less, but I would suggest that you alter your response just a little. That many guys who are "after just one thing" will indeed blurt out words like that, it is also true that some of us who are normally more perspicacious and/or verbose, might yet succumb occasionally to the banal.
I assume that you do actually want to find someone who is attracted to you physically, as well as in other ways. Therefore cutting them off after a single instance of their exclaiming about their positive response to your appearance, might cause you to reject a large number of people who you would actually like, if you got to know them.
But maybe you have an overall issue with yourself here, too. I have known a number of women over the years, who never resolved the conflict within themselves between wanting to be found sexually attractive, and being appreciated as a person. For them, it didn't matter who and what or how genuinely nice the guy was, as soon as he was interested in her physically, they panicked and ran away. Perhaps they were convinced on some level that sex always causes emotional blindness, and so therefore anyone who was sexually attracted to them, was no longer capable of dealing with them as people. It caused them to either remain alone, or to have a series of flings, and never develop a long term relationship.
Minor suggestion: when a guy does blurt out "You are HOT!" at an early meeting, respond by saying (accurately) "No, you are feeling hot, and blaming it on me. I am still just beginning to try to get to know you." This sort of answer might give a guy who is capable of calming down and being a gentleman, the opportunity to do so. If the guy wont get off of that "you are sooooo hot" routine after, though, you can feel quite comfortable discarding him, for having proved that he is indeed just a slavering horn-dog. | |
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| You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/19/2012 4:16:23 AM | Since you find it very insulting and you stop contacting them.. tell me, exactly where is the "problem"?
You are merely acting on one of your deal breakers.
What's the big deal?
You've already made up your mind it's a deal breaker. I mean heck, "very insulting" is pretty strong!
So why ask us if we think it is?
(got a real giggle out of the 'break dealer'..hahaha!.. so thanks for that, anyway) | |
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GSP34
| | Joined: 9/24/2011
Msg: 15 | |
| You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/19/2012 4:19:04 AM | Honestly, if someone called me hot I would well chuffed.
Then I'd thank them and return the compliment.
I really dont like people with bad manners and especially people who just stop contact.
You need to look at your morals first before thinking this person is isulting you. | |
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| You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/19/2012 4:23:47 AM | Just because a man finds you attractive,doesn't mean all he wants from you is sex.
But if being considered for sex is insulting and a deal breaker for you,I think the men you
stop contact with are the one's who are better off.
personally, i dont think you're all that...so be lucky you're getting those compliments.
It had to be said,but I wasn't going to say it!
I'm sure if you found the guys "HOT" who were saying that to you,it wouldn't be as "insulting" to you....am I wrong? | |
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| You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/19/2012 4:24:32 AM | "... the over 55 crowd.... to them "hot" is what a stove gets"
I won't speak for you, but for SOME of us who are over 55, HOT is what someone else makes us feel on the inside. And isn't it wonderful that so many of us can still feel that way, at this age ? | |
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| You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/19/2012 4:26:21 AM | O P - ur a woman who canNOT take compliment...
what's the problem ? | |
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| You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/19/2012 4:28:08 AM | | ^^^^^The looks of the men giving her compliments or what it insinuates to her. | |
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| You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/19/2012 4:37:07 AM | You're not obliged to say, "Thank you" to someone who makes you feel uncomfortable.
Context is everything when making sexual overtures. If someone said, "You're hot" in the workplace, you'd have a case for sexual harassment. People don't generally go round saying, "You're hot" to people they don't know, or barely know without it being considered inappropriate, or socially unskilled.
For some reason on a dating website, protected by technology and distance, its considered appropriate by many and your the one who's being socially unskilled when strangers are intrusive.
Finding the timing inappropriate is your prerogative. It doesn't mean there's something wrong with you if you would prefer intimate comments to be timed with appropriate emotional, or physical intimacy. | |
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Nat.J
| | Joined: 3/20/2012
Msg: 21 | |
| You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/19/2012 4:37:23 AM | | no, i agree with you. when a guy says "you are hot" it usually means "i want to have sex with you asap" and 9/10 if you look at their profile it will say something along the lines of "wants to date but nothing serious"...and their profile pic is of their half naked tattooed gymed-to-the-max-plus-protein-shakes body!! Where as, a decent honest guy will usually call you beautiful or pretty!! if a guy messages me (especially if its the first message) with "you are hot", i probably wont reply. not once since i have been on here have i messaged a guy with "wow youre hot x". no, just no. | |
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| You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/19/2012 4:45:43 AM | | Thank you for your opinion. Most of them will say, I would like to meet you "because you are hot" , that's where I start to back off. | |
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| You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/19/2012 4:49:54 AM | | Is it the wording? Such as, if they said "you are very pretty" or "you are very attractive", would that be acceptable to you? Is the context of this (occuring during a chat or text) make it seem like something cheap or disgusting? Especially since you haven't met them face to face yet. | |
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| You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/19/2012 4:55:04 AM | "not once since i have been on here have i messaged a guy with "wow youre hot x". no, just no. "
My experience has been that most women will not do that, until they know me well. Then they will be more open and comment on my butt, and more personal things like that. Most women won't ask a man questions like... how big is your Richard, until they get to know him MUCH better. I wouldn't be comfortable if a woman asked me that, right up front. I would think that it was not a woman asking me that question.
The keyword is when something is appropriate for both, and how the receiver takes it; and are both sender and receiver of the same healthy mind set ?
A sincere complement is a complement, when it is meant that way.. unless the receiver makes it into something that it was not meant to be. And it's okay to agree to disagree.
To the OP, you're HOT is not comfy. To me, a woman like the OP, needs to relax. Again, if it's offensive, call them on it. Respectfully. | |
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| You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/19/2012 4:56:57 AM | | They are probarbly letting you know that they interested in you in "that way" | |
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