| | My attractive female Co-worker doesn't take no for an answer..Page 1 of 4 (1, 2, 3, 4) | | So my female Co-worker of mine, who has a bf, emails me by work email, to go for lunch and breaks.. and I have a gf.. The first time she emailed me, I said I was really busy.. then I thought that was that, but then she kept emailing me, and I didn't answer her emails, so she came to my desk.. and so she pretty much dragged me out with her.. So now we always go on breaks together, but shes very flirty, ..I feel like i'm seeing her..one time she asked if i wanted to grab drinks after work..but i told her i was busy.. Is this girl after me, or just being very friendly?? | |
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| My attractive female Co-worker doesn't take no for an answer..
Posted: 4/22/2012 7:30:42 PM | So my female Co-worker of mine, who has a bf, emails me by work email, to go for lunch and breaks.. and I have a gf.. The first time she emailed me, I said I was really busy.. then I thought that was that, but then she kept emailing me, and I didn't answer her emails, so she came to my desk.. and so she pretty much dragged me out with her.. So now we always go on breaks together, but shes very flirty, ..I feel like i'm seeing her..one time she asked if i wanted to grab drinks after work..but i told her i was busy.. Is this girl after me, or just being very friendly?? She could just be very friendly and like you as a 'person.' Has been known to happen. Or maybe she is just a total sleaze looking to get involved in an illicite work place affair. Which seems more likely? Make lunch plans with others. When this girl invites you to lunch, say you already have plans. Or brown bag it and tell her you are saving up for something special and don't want to spend money going out to lunch. If she wants to go out for drinks after work, invite others along or simply tell her you have plans. You have to be careful. I experienced a situation where a woman at work wanted to be friends. We did a few things together, but when I got to know her, I didn't like her and began turning down her invitations and distancing myself from her. She became unpleasant and snitty with me when she realized I didn't want to be friends. It's not a great thing for the work place. | |
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| My attractive female Co-worker doesn't take no for an answer..
Posted: 4/22/2012 7:37:55 PM | Trust your instincts as to whether she's after more than is on offer. Feelings of discomfort are a bit of a giveaway.
You need to be less polite and more assertive if you're not comfortable with the situation. You say she won't take no for an answer, but you haven't actually said, "No" to her. You've said, "I'm busy" (suggesting there will be another time where you're not busy and when you will agree to her suggestions) and then agreed to her suggestions.
If you want out of this situation, you need to ask her directly what she's looking for, and/or tell her you don't feel comfortable with the situation as she's very flirty, you already have a relationship and she's crossing your boundaries as to what you find acceptable. You don't need to mean, or hostile, you can be gentle and leave her with dignity, but you must be clear. Stop avoiding through politeness and cowardice. Mailing her might be a good idea so you have a record of interactions in case she carries on even after you've made your position clear.
You might wish to carry on taking breaks with her, but if she asks about going out after work, just say, "No thank you, that wouldn't be appropriate".
If you are interested (is that a good idea given you work together?) then end your current relationship before you take this one any further.
I suspect you may be somewhere inbetween, as you mentioned she was an attractive co-worker. Maybe you enjoy the flattery and excitement of a new relationship building, but it doesn't sit comfortable with you, as it feels like disloyalty to your current partner. I think you know you have to deal with this one way, or another.
Considering that you're the same person who started this silly thread...
Really?
I very nearly posted the same quote as I did on that thread. See? Trust your instincts, OP...
"As for wrongdoing, Nawwas ibn Samam said that he overheard the prophet saying that wrongdoing is that which wavers in the soul and which you dislike people finding out about, and Wabisa ibn Mabad said that he heard the prophet say that wrongdoing is that which wavers in the soul and moves to and fro in the breast, even though people again and again have given you their legal opinion in its favour."
Abdulhamid Hodja counsels Rustem Bey, Chapter 48, Of Righteousness and Wrongdoing, from Birds Without Wings by Louis de Bernières. | |
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| My attractive female Co-worker doesn't take no for an answer..
Posted: 4/22/2012 7:51:59 PM | Grow a pair OP and just say no. Did she physically drag you or force you to go out with her...Oh you poor helpless thing you. This reminds me of a movie I just saw on a plane. I can't remember the name of the movie. It's a comedy and in it Jennifer Annistan is a dentist and is sexually harrassing her male dental assistant. His male friends say he doesn't have a problem, but clearly he does. Sexual harrassment can come from women too. If this woman is a co-worker and keeps coming on to the OP, he does have a problem, and if she doesn't take no, not interested for an answer, he is in a sticky situation that could affect his job and career. I don't think it is about 'growing a pair' at all but about dealing with a difficult, potentially dangerous work place situation: dangerous in the sense of how it could affect him at work and his career. She doesn't need to be someone in a position of authority to be sexually harassing him. If he doesn't handle this well, it could have serious, and negative, repercussions for him in relation to his job and career.
msgs 7 & 12: Whether or not the OP is on the level, this topic is, imo, a valid one for discussion and one, because the person dealing with it is a man, that is rarely talked about or taken seriously. | |
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| My attractive female Co-worker doesn't take no for an answer..
Posted: 4/22/2012 8:10:08 PM | In that movie with Jennifer Anniston she was his boss ( and only co-worker ) and she had one over on him - wasn't he found guilty of indecent exposure and having a hard time finding a job?? . Was the co-worker in the case of this post his boss or was she someone who had no leverage over him?
It's probably harder for a man to get a ruling against a woman for sexual harrassment because we are not socialized to believe that this happens in the workplace. It's probably about as believable in many people's minds as a man trying to charge his with with physical abuse. | |
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| My attractive female Co-worker doesn't take no for an answer..
Posted: 4/23/2012 5:58:25 AM |
and so she pretty much dragged me out with her
What? Did she outweigh you or something or did she grab you by your c0ck?
OT: It was "Horrible Bosses" and Jennifer is trying to blackmail her dental assistant by telling him he will never get hired anywhere else because he was a sex offender. He tries to push her off because he is engaged....Honestly, I could think of worse things than being seduced by Jenn and I don't even swing that way!!
And OP, just because you took your picture down doesn't mean we are stupid and won't check you out.... | |
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| My attractive female Co-worker doesn't take no for an answer..
Posted: 4/23/2012 7:09:49 AM | ah yes, you are the guy who signs into pof just so you can send complimentary emails to attractive women, even though you are in a relationship. let me guess, your story is just the opposite of what happened, and this woman is about to have you sued for sexual harassment in the workplace.
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| My attractive female Co-worker doesn't take no for an answer..
Posted: 4/23/2012 8:18:46 AM |
Considering that you're the same person who started this silly thread...
I'm not single..Is complementing women online considered cheating??
Some women have messaged me back calling me a cheater, or disrespectful, for complementing them, since I am not single.. My gf works odd hours so i dont see her during regular hours usually. I will come online sometimes and start conversation, I dont think thats wrong, just conversation... nothing wrong with complimenting.. some girls are still chatting with me, even though they know about my status. Just wondering if u think im doing wrong..
Quit being an ass to your girlfriend.
In total agreement!! This is a DATING site, if you're involved with someone then complimenting/chatting with ladies on here IS bad form any way you look at it. | |
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| My attractive female Co-worker doesn't take no for an answer..
Posted: 4/23/2012 9:03:27 AM | Personally if you have a girlfriend already you should not be encouraging this 'flighty' woman at all. If she knows you already DO have a girlfriend she needs a good slapping from your girlfriend! Some of you guys huh, honestly a new face shows interest and you begin to think you must be god's gift to women.
Ask yourself how you would feel if your girlfriend was to go out for drinks with her colleague and send e-mails back and forth. I think you are asking for trouble, unless, of course, you are not really into your girlfriend and are looking around for someone else. And remember NO ONE is going to drag you into anything unless you want to be dragged.
Tell this office female you are in a happy relationship already and would not like to jeopardise it. And as a final comment, NO she isn't just being friendly and whats more you already know that! | |
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