| | addicted to love ...Page 1 of 1 | there's no question I am but why ?
why not golf , sports cars , watching sports , my job , cutting grass , anything !!
why do I need to hear those words " I love you " from other women?
it's not a sex thing , it's emotional.
sometimes I think I got the emotional makeup of a woman inside me , lol.
that's not funny actually coming from a guy
anyway ... am I the only one ?
I saw a PhD psychologist about this recently
and she said it was something I didn't get when I was young
but I don't remember anything when I was young , it was too long ago
I'm posting this mainly to vent out
but if anyone got something constructive to say
I'd like to hear it
thanks | |
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| addicted to love ...
Posted: 4/23/2012 1:44:42 PM |
I saw a PhD psychologist about this recently
and she said it was something I didn't get when I was young
That's your answer.
Now that you know what it is, go back and start working on it.
You are needy.
You have a void that needs filling.
And by asking someone else to fill it for you, this is not good.
You have to learn to LOVE YOURSELF first.
If you don't, I guarantee you a lifetime of misery. | |
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| addicted to love ...
Posted: 4/23/2012 1:45:23 PM | How often do you need to hear I LOVE you from a woman ? That and Being addicted to love are likely to be 2 seperate things.
You're 49 years old, and have children. What do you think is wrong with this picture ? | |
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| addicted to love ...
Posted: 4/23/2012 1:47:04 PM | Hearing those words from a woman validates you.. that you are doing everything right.. kinda sad actually...some will use you when they figure that out.
... | |
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| addicted to love ...
Posted: 4/23/2012 1:51:34 PM | | I'm guessing your mother didn't give you enough approval/affection growing up. So you're forever trying to fill that void. That's usually the reason. Same reason for women (except with their fathers). | |
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| addicted to love ...
Posted: 4/23/2012 1:54:58 PM | The best method I've found that works for me with such things is, to rephrase the question. Try it, if you haven't already.
Fill in the blank: "If I don't hear another woman say I love you, I will______ ." Or, "If she doesn't love me, then it proves that ______."
Eventually, you will find a way of asking a question, or demanding an answer from yourself, that will cause you to spell out why you want what you do, what it really means, or at least what it doesn't mean. | |
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| addicted to love ...
Posted: 4/23/2012 2:08:22 PM | That's a good one, Igor.
To the OP: Just because you can't remember anything significant from your childhood, doesn't mean there isn't anything significant there.
Just because a psychologist tells you its something rooted in your childhood, doesn't mean that it is.
It might possibly be sort of inbetweeny.
Our formative years do have an impact, that's why they're called our formative years, but sometimes very small things, or misunderstandings can mean a lot in a child's world.
I'll give you and example. My daughter spent years being terrified of the dark as a child and for the life of me I couldn't work out what happened to cause the change. Eventually, I found out.
One morning when she was around 3/4 years of age she came into my room and found me still in bed with my curtains open. I explained my alarm clock was broken and I was worried I wouldn't wake, so I left the curtains open so the dawn light would wake me up.
In her world, it meant if there was no light you wouldn't wake up, that is you would be dead. She's now an adult, a mother herself, no longer afraid of the dark...but she still leaves the curtains undrawn at night. | |
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| addicted to love ...
Posted: 4/23/2012 2:16:21 PM | I would suggest that you are emotionally immature. You need to hear a woman say "I love you" to validate your existence, your behaviours and to feel connected to the world.
I think some children do need more sentimental attachment/affection from parents. This does not make you feminine, btw.
Do you have difficulty maintaining a long term relationship? Do you feel the need to have multiple woman value you? What happens if a woman does not say the magic words, and in what time frame? | |
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| addicted to love ...
Posted: 4/23/2012 3:41:12 PM | Funny you say addicted...
You just might be "addicted" to the chemicals that are released in the brain when you are in love or think you are or when you feel you are loved.
Because you said "why do I need to hear those words "I love you", my guess would be oxytocin is your drug of choice. The "cuddle" drug. The "long term caring one".
I'd say something healthy and continuous has been missing in your love life or childhood.
Hugs can release it, so can holding a baby, so can making love and nursing and giving birth.
Men have it too. Just they don't do as much as woman do to get it flowing.
There are also drugs in the world that people use to get this fix. MDA and AMDA if I'm not mistaken or "ecstasy". I don't recommend doing drugs. These drugs can damage you for life and quite possibly kill you. They are made in labs, they are illegal.
There is a natural plant out there, but I forget it's name. You'll have to Google it. There are other drugs too. I wouldn't trust them though.
Some people do not trust themselves as sincere, because they have a lack of this oxytocin. They sometimes question if they are capable of sincere, long lasting love because they don't get that "feeling" they've heard so much about. They often look to others for that lovey stimulation so that their brains send out this fix. Maybe you are one of them?
Oxytocin also known for making people less fearsome and more trusting. Could be a good thing, could be a bad thing.
Oxytocin not Oxycoton, Oxycoton is heroin. | |
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| addicted to love ...
Posted: 4/23/2012 3:52:57 PM |
why do I need to hear those words " I love you " from other women?
it's not a sex thing , it's emotional.
trying to justify the need for cheating..is my guess!
Not happy in the marriage/relationship you are in and instead of "manning up" and leaving....easier to think it's pyscological B.S. | |
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| addicted to love ...
Posted: 4/23/2012 3:53:49 PM | | i guess i suffer from the same thing, seeing as how im on a freaking dating website looking for love....ugh!!!! pathetic... or so others would have me to believe. if some one uses u because u wear ur heart on ur sleeves, thats not a reflection of u, but of their charater, their moral compass. im a hopeless romantic myself, yet at times i get cynical because love seems to elude me....ugh...... | |
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| addicted to love ...
Posted: 4/23/2012 4:31:32 PM | OP: A shrink once told me that a need for love (like yours) is because your mother didn't hold/touch you enough when you were a baby. Unfortunately, motherhood does not always teach a woman to be demonstrative.
Along the same line of thought; studies have shown that those who were breastfed are usually more emotionally balanced (stable, self-confident) than those fed with a bottle.
Not a big deal, just something to think about.
Oh, and BTW, you are not alone. | |
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| addicted to love ...
Posted: 4/23/2012 4:41:22 PM | | so many people are REALLY addicted to d1ck or pu$$y but think it sounds ' nicer' to say "love" instead... | |
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| addicted to love ...
Posted: 4/23/2012 5:16:20 PM | | First off, your lights are on, but you're not home. Your mind is not your own! Your heart sweats and your body shakes. Most of the time, one kiss is all it takes. Whoa! You would like to think you're immune to this stuff, oh yeah? Pretty much , its closer to the truth to say that you can't get enough. You might as well face it you're addicted to love. | |
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| addicted to love ...
Posted: 4/23/2012 5:36:36 PM | | I don't think your addicted to love but it ranks number one over everything else in your life. Nothing wrong with that. Once you find love then other things will interest you and then you will have a more balanced life. | |
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| addicted to love ...
Posted: 4/23/2012 7:11:57 PM | OK .. thank you to most of you who have compassion and understanding
I got more insight from you guys than the $ 120.00/hr I pay for my psychologist.
to PlentyofThrowBacks ... go **** yourself ... I checked some of your other posts and you are both full of shit and full of yourself! | |
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