| | Are men really willing to wait for sex?Page 1 of 17 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17) | | I have been divorced 4 years, was married 14 years. I made mistakes from my first marriage before we were married, one's I have learned from. I don't want another relationship that is sex based, yes a months of dating down the road I might be ready for the sex, but I don't want to date a man twice and then hop in the bed with him. I want to know he loves me for me, and not what's between my legs, and how good the head is. So for the guys, would you really be willing to wait a few months before having sex with a woman you are dating? | |
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| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/24/2012 8:12:57 PM | One of seven million times this question has been raised.
There are many different kinds of people, en-coupled with many different times of seasons.
OP, what you are asking for makes a lot of sense.
It's just the order is different in the male species compared to the female.
Females require time to bond with the mental portion of their brain.
To build upon the emotional before they engage towards physical bonding.
This is how a woman falls in love.
Whereas, men require bonding in the physical department and then move towards the mental portion to fall in love.
So follow your desired path, and if it doesn't meet with your approval, then move on to the next male who will wait until YOU are ready.
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| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/24/2012 8:34:44 PM | I was willing to wait. I told my lady that how far, how fast and how long our relationship went was her call.
We saw each other every day for over a month before it happened and I was willing to wait longer. But we were napping together one afternoon, she woke up and decided she was ready and jumped me.
It happens when it happens and yes, there are men willing to wait. A lasting relationship isn't about sex, it's about intimacy. Finding someone worth waking up with, not someone to sleep with. | |
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| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/24/2012 8:46:22 PM | | No I'm not willing to wait. I'm also not going to wait to but a latte in the morning or food in the evening, so why should I deprive myself of sex? | |
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| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/24/2012 9:11:39 PM | | I once dated someone for two and a half years in a long distance relationship. She was a virgin when we started and a virgin when we finally broke up. We wanted to wait until she could move down here permanently. Never happened but I don't regret it. | |
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| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/24/2012 10:15:31 PM | I look at this way- Sex and sexually compatibility are basic components to a healthy relationship. So the question becomes why wait 4 months only to find out we’re not compatible? Personally I don’t want to invest 4 months into a relationship if it’s doomed to fail from the start……… And I believe that whoever is actually honest with themselves and their partner will come to the same conclusion as well.
Now don’t get me wrong; sex and sexual compatibility are NOT the only considerations to take into account. So that doesn’t mean jump into bed on the first date either, so (in my mind) the question becomes “how long do you wait?” And my instincts say 4 months is excessive, So no I wouldn’t be willing to wait 4 months.
Adam | |
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| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/24/2012 10:26:18 PM | | I know I would. Relationships should be about more than just sex and I have found that relationships that are kept going solely because of sex get boring after a while. | |
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| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/25/2012 12:44:37 AM | | No man will wait for sex, but they'll post on here saying that they do in the hopes that it increases their chances of getting laid. | |
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| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/25/2012 12:54:00 AM | Would you chat with someone online for months on end without meeting? Most people wouldn't, and I think the vast majority of forum users would agree that it is a bad idea to invest a bunch of time/energy/emotions into someone before you know if you will actually be compatible in person.
The same concept applies to sex. Push for a meeting in the first message/go for sex on the first date and the other person involved is bound to think you have poor judgment and impulse control. But hold out for months and you are at significant risk of finding out that the person you have spent so much time on just doesn't mesh with you physically.
I think I'd be willing to wait around a month or so. Beyond that...well, life's too short to waste time on incompatible partners. Sex certainly isn't the only important element, but it is a vital building-block of a successful romantic relationship. | |
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| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/25/2012 12:55:52 AM | I know I would and there must be many others. It seems a lot of men don't want to wait for sex but I think it's because you hear from them more than from others.
I would wait even more if I was with someone I really liked and who felt strongly about not having sex soon.
Heck I'd wait for marriage for the right one - even if most people think it's unwise. What I want is a partner I'll be happy with, not have great sex first and foremost. | |
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| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/25/2012 2:14:00 AM | | I am. Not for any noble reason or moral imperative, I just don't care. If we just hang out and have fun as friends w /o benifits Im fine with that. If there is a mutual, physical atraction and we decide to act upon it that's fine too. I like sex, I really do, it's just not the priority it used to be. | |
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| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/25/2012 2:19:03 AM |
yes a months of dating down the road I might be ready for the sex, but I don't want to date a man twice and then hop in the bed with him.
I wonder if you can't find a happy medium between "months" and "2 dates" to find out before you waste too much time on someone without knowing if you are sexually compatible?
What about the possibility that the sexual and emotional chemistry might lead you to the passion
that comes with the newness and hopefulness of a relationship with potential?
Being that your ex-husband just "up and left you" I am sure your guards are WAY up and your trust is WAY down when it comes to men,but I have found that if you allow your past to define your future,those guards become what keeps you from being vulnerable enough to ever trust yourself and your own judgement of men.
I may have jumped in bed with my guy "too soon"( First date) but that didn't doom it to failure and we have been living together happily for the past 3 years.
BTW...I have the best and last "Country Bumpkin" in North Carolina.Sorry! | |
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| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/25/2012 2:22:17 AM | | Jumping into bed on the first or second date, doesn't mean the relationship will fail. It's amazing how many people use sex too early in the relationship is the reason for the demise. Making a guy or girl for that matter isn't going to make for a happy ending. Sex is just sex it plays a part in the relationship but it's not the end all be all. I think sex is just a cop out for some people to explain that they tried dating and after a few weeks months etc the relationship didn't work but hey if I waited to have sex three weeks later we'd be married. | |
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| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/25/2012 2:28:40 AM |
So for the guys, would you really be willing to wait a few months before having sex with a woman you are dating?
of course, but not for every woman...
cuz 99% of the women I meet aren't interesting/cool/sexy, etc enough for me to bother waiting a few months ..
only the one(s) that really is different will be worth waiting for. | |
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| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/25/2012 2:46:31 AM |
Jumping into bed on the first or second date, doesn't mean the relationship will fail. It's amazing how many people use sex too early in the relationship is the reason for the demise
That's fine until you realise later in life that you've probably dated hundreds if not thousands of women... likewise women can get dates even easier than men... It's not like they're going to want to sleep with every guy they've had 1 or 2 dates with... For some women that could mean literally thousands of partners over a lifetime...
And realistically, I've had sex too soon and lost interest in the woman... I probably would have stayed longer if the sex had not happened so quickly... | |
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| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/25/2012 3:01:42 AM |
And realistically, I've had sex too soon and lost interest in the woman... I probably would have stayed longer if the sex had not happened so quickly.
That is the most idiotic thing I've ever heard, so when you were ending the relationship part of your thinking was damn if my penis didn't penetrate her vagina I'd still find her interesting. Once again it's a cop out you can week 2 dates or 2 months, if there isn't something to hold on to it's going to end eventually. I'm not saying for people to jump in the sack on the first date but stop making it sound like all fairy tale ending happen because there is some magical number of days when to have sex; and after that many days it ends happily ever after. | |
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| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/25/2012 3:49:08 AM | You might want to consider looking at this from the other side of things as well, OP.
Not as in assuming that "guys need sex," or any of the other destructive and insulting myths that are floating around like suspicious punch-bowl logs.
Instead, imagine that someone you are with appears to be in constant turmoil and doubt, and is calculating when to permit themselves to think about "awarding" you with sexual affection, based on some ephemeral idea which they cannot themselves actually describe.
When a woman says, as you do, that she has to wait a very long time before deciding to have that much intimacy, she is also saying that she has no desire herself about the guy. She isn't that attracted to him sexually. Not an encouraging sign, if the guy wants to end up in a relationship that contains a fair amount of sexual contact.
While it is surely true that some scummy guys use the accusation that you are frigid, as a manipulative tool to try to get you to have sex before you feel comfortable doing so, it is only a useful tool, because it can also be the truth.
I would also point out, as I think some have already, that counting "date one, date two, date three...okay F__K!" doesn't make any special sense, but that neither does it work any better to count to twenty instead.
Besides, a lot of us "nicer, more patient" guys, have an annoying history behind us, of women getting us to wait a long long time, and then announcing that since we showed so little real desire for her, that she's gone off with Raoul the Ravager. | |
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| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/25/2012 3:58:48 AM |
That's fine until you realise later in life that you've probably dated hundreds if not thousands of women... likewise women can get dates even easier than men... It's not like they're going to want to sleep with every guy they've had 1 or 2 dates with... For some women that could mean literally thousands of partners over a lifetime...
And realistically, I've had sex too soon and lost interest in the woman... I probably would have stayed longer if the sex had not happened so quickly...
That is the most idiotic thing I've ever heard, so when you were ending the relationship part of your thinking was damn if my penis didn't penetrate her vagina I'd still find her interesting.
LOL...Nope...that's just the Madonna/Whore Complex at work.
Somehow in some men's minds the second a woman "put's out" she's put into the non-relationship pile as though she has no real value other than a sexual conquest.It really has nothing to do with the woman,but with the man in question.
Sorry M-Church.....but you have to admit that the days you were a "man whore",you projected your own lack of worth beyond sex,onto the women you deemed worthy of sex alone. | |
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| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/25/2012 4:45:46 AM | | Guess it would depend on what is meant by waiting..for how long? weeks? sure. Months probably not. It always depends on the situation and how much you think you care for her. | |
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| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/25/2012 5:15:01 AM |
No man will wait for sex, but they'll post on here saying that they do in the hopes that it increases their chances of getting laid.
That's funny and maybe a lot more accurate than some would like to think.
I will wait until we are comfortable with each other but my sex drive is still very strong and 4 months would be way too long if we were dating steadily during that. | |
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| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/25/2012 6:19:03 AM | I guess from reading the responses, the best way to say it, is find a guy who expresses he is interested in you but is willing wait for you. Not as uncommon as you may think. If he is attracted to you he will tell you, and probably often. If he is into being with you as a person, he will be willing to wait.
Of course, this is a 2 way street. You have to let the man know that you are interested in him physically as well and it will happen if he is patient. If you don't, he is going to start thinking you find him repulsive. Let's face it, alot of men have fragile egos and if they start getting the feeling you don't find them attractive enough to even consider sex, it could be a deal breaker.
One month, maybe two, sure. More than that could be a real problem. And at some point you are going to have to gauge for yourself why it is you want to wait so long and if waiting that long is going to cause a loss of interest. | |
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| Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/25/2012 6:33:52 AM | Yes, the person and the 'warming' up over a time is quite important; however, there's always a however; the chemistry really has to be good to hold abstinence.
Also ladies who are too quick may be off putting, conversation and discussion is a must to allay doubts or fears on the part of both parties. | |
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