| | YOU KNOW YOU'RE A REDNECK WHEN.....Page 1 of 1 | YOU KNOW YOU'RE A REDNECK WHEN.....
1. You can take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
3. Your boat hasn't left the driveway in 15 years.
4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
5. You think "The Nutcracker" is a vice on the work bench.
6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
10. You can keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
16. You know how many bales of hay your car can hold.
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest rooms so clean.
20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
22. Your lifetime goal is to open a fireworks stand.
23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all have "Cool Whip" on the side.
24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
25. Your working TV is sitting on top of your non-working TV.
26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000.00 worth of improvements.
28. You have used a toilet bowl brush as a back scratcher.
29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65. | |
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| YOU KNOW YOU'RE A REDNECK WHEN.....
Posted: 4/26/2012 2:45:56 AM | | The Salvos DID reject my lounge!!!! I am soooo not a redneck tho... promise!!! Another charity outfit took it. Probably for firewood but hey. | |
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| YOU KNOW YOU'RE A REDNECK WHEN.....
Posted: 4/28/2012 3:05:52 PM | | Ya carry a gun on your hip and a baby on the other (my friends make fun of my picture on my profile...go look if ya want) I am poking fun at myself here :p | |
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| YOU KNOW YOU'RE A REDNECK WHEN.....
Posted: 4/30/2012 1:55:40 PM | Redneck Joke
You Must Be A Redneck If
* You recycle your own toilet paper
* Your mom has to shave more times a month than your dad
* You see a bill board that says "Don't do crack" and it reminds you to pull up your pants.
* You stare at a carton of orange juice because it says "concentrate."
* The nativity scene you set up in your yard at Christmas includes two pink flamingos and baby Jesus lying in a painted tire.
* Most of your teeth are on a chain around your neck.
* You hunt from your bedroom window.
* Your dad walks you to school because you're in the same grade.
* You refrigerate your food stamps.
* You use a 10 penny nail to pick your teeth after a night of road kill.
* You have ever dressed your child as a "Snot-rag" for Halloween.
* Your idea of a loaded dishwasher is getting your wife drunk.
* You and your spouse get divorced and you are still relatives.
* You go to your local ice cream store and order Copenhagen "sprinkles" on your cone.
* You know instinctively that red wine goes with opossum.
* You're always looking to find your Mother-in-Law's picture on the back of a milk carton!
* The officer that just pulled you over asks if "you have any I.D."..and you respond "About whut?"
* You take a beer to a job interview.
* You are caught roll'n your trailer down the street to jump start the heater.
* When you finish eatin' your bologna you use the rind for dental floss.
* You go to Goodwill to meet women.
* You and your friends are putting an engine in a pickup, drinking beer, and the conversation is: Which county jail has the best food! | |
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