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 tdh49
Joined: 4/12/2012
Msg: 1
Is the easy hook up taking the place of dating/relationships? Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
With the ever increasing popularity of online dating it seem less and less of us are really serious about finding that special someone. A vast majority have gravitated towards the quick hook up as a substitute for dating/relationship. And online there really is no shortage of women/men willing to take you up on it regardless of what they state is their goal(long term/dating) in their proflies.

In the old day if(before online dating) a woman/man had 20 or more sexual partners in a life time that would be viewed as a lot. Now a days I imagine that's just a number for a slow years for quite a few online daters.

Has online dating some how manage to desensitize a vast majority of online dater? what was once viewed as appalling is now second nature to them?

Is it just a sign of the times and should we just roll with it?

Online dating has so many great advantages but I can't help but think that this trend of making people more lazy and promiscuous isn't necessarily one of those advantages.

Thoughts?
 SpeedracerSmith
Joined: 3/5/2012
Msg: 2
Is the easy hook up taking the place of dating/relationships?
Posted: 4/25/2012 8:36:07 PM
Yes.
the easy hook up has taken the place of old fashioned dating.
 Landra2
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 3
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Is the easy hook up taking the place of dating/relationships?
Posted: 4/25/2012 8:42:09 PM
Other people can do whatever.
I live my life according to my own values and the easy hook up isn't my thing.
 Nyte2008
Joined: 12/29/2009
Msg: 4
Is the easy hook up taking the place of dating/relationships?
Posted: 4/25/2012 8:47:23 PM
True.

But whatever, I don't complain for every lay I get. It's the 21st century, and women are free to have no-strings flings and I don't mind it 1 bit lol...

Looking for a meaningful relationship on the other hand ahem... well... I definitely will start with one that didn't start off as a "short term relationship".

The POF women from my experience:
20-23 year old women: easy for a quick short term fling thing, most are "discovering" themselves or "experimenting" I should say (words taken from their mouths lol...)
24: they're a bit more serious and may occasionally do a fling but some will actually stop themselves mid-way and blue ball you into a relationship
25+: things get serious and they're not so easy to jump in the sack with you, they usually want assurance of something meaningful prior to you nailing 'em

The POF men (speaking for myself and some friends that were here):
23: these dudes just want to get laid, no relationship straight up and will bounce from chick to chick
24: these dudes are players, they'll get laid by different women in a short span of time while not ending things with the ones they're alreading seeing
25-26: they are emotional players, they'll find a "gf" but will stick with them only for the easy lay
27: same mentality as the 23 year old
28+: something usually happens at this age where they start looking for meaningful relationships, I can't explain it but it's happened to so many dudes I know...

Now, because there's a HUGE population of 20-28 year olds on POF, it's more than likely that these people are just looking for a quick fck. Because let's face it, the dudes don't want to waste energy picking up women at a bar or wasting $$$ for an escort. I mean, why do that when you can just pretend to be all nice and smooth to a girl here to get laid? And the women, the stigma still exists where if a gal slept around, she'd be viewed as a slut. But with online dating, a chick can sleep around without anyone knowing because honestly, you sleep with a guy and ditch 'em afterwards. Chick gets her pipe cleaned, guy gets his banana peeled, no one knows about it, everyone benefits in the end.

Women/Men, don't take offense to these generalizations. I based these on EXPERIENCES which you cannot dispute.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 5
Is the easy hook up taking the place of dating/relationships?
Posted: 4/25/2012 8:51:08 PM
It seemed to me the easy hookup was fairly easy to come by in the 80's before the advent of internet dating ( or the internet for that matter ) . If that is what you are looking for you don't have to look online. Maybe we should call it the lazy hookup in keeping with the new way of doing things.
 Nyte2008
Joined: 12/29/2009
Msg: 6
Is the easy hook up taking the place of dating/relationships?
Posted: 4/25/2012 8:52:30 PM

It seemed to me the easy hookup was fairly easy to come by in the 80's before the advent of internet dating ( or the internet for that matter ) . If that is what you are looking for you don't have to look online. Maybe we should call it the lazy hookup in keeping with the new way of doing things.


It was crazy tough for me in the 80's getting laid... considering my balls haven't dropped by then yet and I was too busy playing with my stuffed animals.
 neck romancer
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 7
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Is the easy hook up taking the place of dating/relationships?
Posted: 4/25/2012 9:54:00 PM
No
From what Im reading the avg number is still well below 20 sexual partners.
We have always been promiscuous.. your just believing myths. You need to find some HONEST old ppl and they will tell you stories.
 tdh49
Joined: 4/12/2012
Msg: 8
Is the easy hook up taking the place of dating/relationships?
Posted: 4/26/2012 6:07:42 AM

It seemed to me the easy hookup was fairly easy to come by in the 80's before the advent of internet dating ( or the internet for that matter ) . If that is what you are looking for you don't have to look online. Maybe we should call it the lazy hookup in keeping with the new way of doing things.
Yes but at least in the old days you had to meet someone face to face and put in some actual work before the hook up. These days people can sit behind their computer and have quite a few people on the go.

Some chat for so long before actually meeting that when you finally meet it seems like you have known each other forever. Thus the quick hook up becomes more natural for them.
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 9
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Is the easy hook up taking the place of dating/relationships?
Posted: 4/26/2012 6:19:03 AM
I used to see ads in the classified section of our local newspaper where people were advertising looking for hookups when I was a kid myself...I remember asking my Mom what the ads were for as I didnt understand any of the acronyms. Then they would write to one another and actually use 'snail mail' and escalate into exchanging numbers to talk on the phone.

People who like this type of thing have always been doing it, we can just now see all of the ads easier, and even attach a face to them is all. The internet makes connecting faster and easier...but I feel people will use it for hooking up only if they already desired hooking up. I dont think someone against hooking up can be swayed by the internet to do so.
 Jaimes004
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 10
Is the easy hook up taking the place of dating/relationships?
Posted: 4/26/2012 6:41:25 AM

In the old day if(before online dating) a woman/man had 20 or more sexual partners in a life time that would be viewed as a lot. Now a days I imagine that's just a number for a slow years for quite a few online daters.


I wouldn't generalize...not everyone here is in that category. I can still count on two hands, with fingers left over, how many partners I have had in my lifetime.
 NonamousDog
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 11
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Is the easy hook up taking the place of dating/relationships?
Posted: 4/26/2012 9:33:22 AM
Anyone who believes in the existence of "easy" hookups has never actually tried to find one.
 7thour
Joined: 12/2/2011
Msg: 12
Is the easy hook up taking the place of dating/relationships?
Posted: 4/26/2012 9:51:11 AM
I still enjoy the process of getting to hand holding:)

Unfortunately, I agree with you. Too many people go from the meet to the kiss to the bedroom...or the car from what I have heard.

That is why I won't have sex until I know the man is committed to me and I want to be committed to him. The last thing I want to do is think horribly about a man who I had inside my body.
 Nyte2008
Joined: 12/29/2009
Msg: 13
Is the easy hook up taking the place of dating/relationships?
Posted: 4/26/2012 4:17:26 PM

Anyone who believes in the existence of "easy" hookups has never actually tried to find one.


I humbly disagree.

Proof: Experience. 1st date hookup. 20-23 year old chicks, the easiest age group IMO.
 Kentish-Man
Joined: 3/7/2012
Msg: 14
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Is the easy hook up taking the place of dating/relationships?
Posted: 4/26/2012 4:29:26 PM
Internet Dating

Stage 1 - Log on, look at a few profiles
Stage 2 - Find a girl that looks interesting, attractive, nice body
Stage 3 - Communicate over messages
Stage 4 - In the morning you meet up
Stage 5 - Realise she's much uglier and her figure is nowhere near as nice

Real Life Dating

Stage 1 - Go to pub, have a few beers
Stage 2 - Find a girl that looks interesting, attractive, nice body
Stage 3 - Have a chat over drinks
Stage 4 - In the morning you sober up
Stage 5 - Realise she's much uglier and her figure is nowhere near as nice

Not that different really.
 DeerTaint
Joined: 4/3/2012
Msg: 15
Is the easy hook up taking the place of dating/relationships?
Posted: 4/26/2012 4:41:42 PM
I know guys in real life that call this site Plenty of Hookups. These guys are no prizes and they don't seem to have trouble finding anyone for a good time. I personally wouldn't use this site to find a serious relationship. If I did, I would want full bloodwork beforehand. LOL
 I_AM_THE_LORAX
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 16
Is the easy hook up taking the place of dating/relationships?
Posted: 4/26/2012 7:54:36 PM
you can go sleep with every thing that walks..just dont bring it around me...i'd rather find someone with some integrity and respect for me..that same stuff he wants from me better be a two way street...
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 17
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Is the easy hook up taking the place of dating/relationships?
Posted: 4/26/2012 8:06:25 PM

Online dating has so many great advantages but I can't help but think that this trend of making people more lazy and promiscuous isn't necessarily one of those advantages.

Hmmm. Maybe I see this from a strange place ~ but if anything, the net has certainly absolved any and all chances of me "hooking up." When I have free time in which I could be out in the offline world meeting real-live people, I find it's just easier to sit here and not have to shave my legs, primp or even get out of my yoga clothes if I don't want to. There's no hooking-up going on for me and I'm certainly no stranger to online meeting/dating. (If people are looking to simply hook-up they will find a way to do so. If someone is seeking something more involved than that, like myself, we'll not bother with the quick-fix ~ we'll wait for the real deal. At least I think so.) JMO
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 18
Is the easy hook up taking the place of dating/relationships?
Posted: 4/26/2012 9:31:00 PM
For some it is...
someone wrote in another thread about desperate women & spoiled men...well there u go...

I'd rather be spoiled than desperate, LOL!
 miami_man81
Joined: 4/2/2011
Msg: 19
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Is the easy hook up taking the place of dating/relationships?
Posted: 4/26/2012 10:06:04 PM
Idk, from what I've seen on pof is a lot of girls wanting relationships, so while some want a fling, it still seems many or most want relationships unless they are lying. So maybe lying about intentions is a way for hooking up with them. Idk I haven't gone throught the searches in a while but thats what I recall seeing. Easy hookup? Quite the general statement, when I see that, it makes it seem like most guys or a majority of guys are all don juans or attractive to girls to get easy hook ups. The way I see it is this is true for the guys who put the effort I guess, are good looking and/or are very witty, funny, charming, and some guys have that or more that others so many hook ups are not easy unless guys aren't picky with who they have sex with or will do any girl thats half way decent or maybe not even cute.
'
 miami_man81
Joined: 4/2/2011
Msg: 20
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Is the easy hook up taking the place of dating/relationships?
Posted: 4/26/2012 10:08:18 PM
And from what I've seen there are a lot of guys that aren't having much success on here who aren't bad looking or seem to have decent profiles so I''m not sure if online dating has made hook ups easier or caused promiscuity, it could be or might be actually harder getting dates online that in real life in some ways, especially for the younger people.
 jmark4
Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 21
Is the easy hook up taking the place of dating/relationships?
Posted: 4/26/2012 10:51:13 PM
with the lack of morality and character in todays society, it's almost uncool not to be a ho.

The internet makes it much easier to hook up. Many love to hook up with people from their past; happens all the time.

Society now has no conscience. People cheat all the time and lie about it all the time without having a problem with it. Pretty pathetic.

I date locally 90% of the time or with people I meet in everyday life. Dating is pretty easy to be honest. The internet has allowed me to meet nice people that have become friends. Once I choose to settle down, I will be off the site for good.
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 22
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Is the easy hook up taking the place of dating/relationships?
Posted: 4/27/2012 12:34:34 AM

Is it just a sign of the times and should we just roll with it?

it's quite possibly a sign of YOUR times, tdh. how the world feels colder and colder the further we get from those sunny, idealized days of youth.

and it's certainly a sign of technology. the internet gives casual daters (and every other kind) a larger pool of prospects and a faster way to vet them, but it doesn't change anyone's emotional or hormonal expression.

it also gives people messages boards and email and IM so they can communicate their views on the subject - again, more quickly and to a larger audience. and those who are disgruntled and dissatisfied and sure the world is going straight to hell will always speak with the loudest voices. but MAKING people more promiscuous? not likely.
 russell5417
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 23
Is the easy hook up taking the place of dating/relationships?
Posted: 4/27/2012 1:45:02 AM
Thoughts?...........................you are insane.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 24
Is the easy hook up taking the place of dating/relationships?
Posted: 4/27/2012 2:15:24 AM
With you Landra2.

I think a lot of men want that ant that is why they are on sites like these, but how many women do? Therein lies the problem of supply and demand I would say.
 TexasNightOwl
Joined: 8/24/2008
Msg: 25
Is the easy hook up taking the place of dating/relationships?
Posted: 4/27/2012 3:26:21 AM
I wouldn't generalize...not everyone here is in that category. I can still count on two hands, with fingers left over, how many partners I have had in my lifetime.

@Jaimes, msg 10.: Jaimes, you are right. That you had less than 10 partners at your age is clearly a choice you made. Hit most bars an hour before closing and the girls are already primed and ready for somebody to do them. Buy them one drink and your chances of being laid are damn high. That you don't want to risk AIDS, herpes, etc is probably a very wise choice.
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