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 jstlkg12
Joined: 4/9/2012
Msg: 1
Do men over 50 really want the same?Page 1 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
I'm new to dating sites and am starting to question whether men over 50 really want a women over 50 or do they have unrealistic expectations of finding a 30 - 40 year old? I have found many men that share the same things I want but for one reason or another we don't seem to connect. I don't get it!
 SpeedracerSmith
Joined: 3/5/2012
Msg: 2
Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 4/30/2012 5:52:41 AM
I'm sure this subject has been discussed, but I'll respond anyway. I'm sure there are men over 50 who are interested in women over 50, but in MY personal experience I've met very few. The ones who agree to go out with women their own age (again in MY personal experience) are looking for the quick hook up or casual sex. It seems to be the worst in Southern California. I don't get much attention on here, but funny..in real life when no one knows my age, I get quite a bit of attention. Go figure!

What I've noticed on a couple of other dating sites is that men will have age range of 15 - 20 years younger and 1 year older..or something similar. I won't even bother with a man like that.

Anyway, that's just what I've come across in my dating experience so you can take that with a grain of salt. And for all fairness, there are many women over 50 who do the same thing. I don't know if it's an attempt to capture lost youth or just personal preference, but it seems to me that these people are missing out on a lot of great people by eliminating people their own age from their search.
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 3
Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 4/30/2012 6:00:55 AM
whether men over 50 really want a women over 50 or do they have unrealistic expectations of finding a 30 - 40 year old? I have found many men that share the same things I want but for one reason or another we don't seem to connect. I don't get it!


Could it be because they don't?

Almost everyone's *expectations* may seem unrealistic to many mature experienced long-term Forumites and some of your local peers..

Speaking as an experienced man over 50, what WE may be looking for most is attraction with shared common interests. The attraction can be there at similar ages, IF both people take similar care of themselves physically and also consider what the opp sex looks for...
A woman's smile is attractive at most any age, and longer hair can maintain the femininity appeal much better for most than short hair. Body language is so very important, to signal interest in another by light touching while smiling and looking into their eyes.

"We don't seem to connect" is actually the NORM for most "first meet" coffee interviews of strangers from any "dating" site. If you want more possibility of connection, go out locally to your local special interest social groups and make friends there over time, that "connection" may develop with one or a few when the pressure to try to "be what someone else may expect" is off..
Try joining or starting a local exercise/hiking/potluck dinner meetup group, and when you are the organizer you meet many diverse local people every month who share some of your interests.
 SdrawkcrB
Joined: 7/21/2011
Msg: 4
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Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 4/30/2012 6:03:03 AM

What I've noticed on a couple of other dating sites is that men will have age range of 15 - 20 years younger and 1 year older..or something similar. I won't even bother with a man like that.

That may be why your missing out,, I usualy say 10 younger 5 older, and cant find any willing one's
to go out 5 years younger.
 windchymes
Joined: 11/29/2008
Msg: 5
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Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 4/30/2012 6:04:33 AM
Like you, Speedracer, I don't bother with men like that, either. I stick with the ones who are realistic about who they are and where they are in life and who aren't afraid to age gracefully.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 6
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Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 4/30/2012 6:05:52 AM
I'm 47 (going on 48 in a few months), the last two women I dated were both around 8yrs older than me.
Its more about personality than age... I doubt I'd go for a 35y/o unless we *really* "clicked" together.
 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 7
Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 4/30/2012 6:33:04 AM
without more specific info from ur dates..its hard to make an educated guess. I'm over 50..and like to date from 45-52 give or take a couple. I really dont have alot in common with a 30yr old..
Looking at your pics..u seem a bit old-fashioned. A new hairstyle might be in order. Are you dressing up for these dates..or wearing blue jeans and t-shirt? Modernize ur wardrobe and kick things up a notch..i see potential..but be the best u can be..and see what happens.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 8
Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 4/30/2012 6:42:50 AM

I'm new to dating sites and am starting to question whether men over 50 really want a women over 50 or do they have unrealistic expectations of finding a 30 - 40 year old? I have found many men that share the same things I want but for one reason or another we don't seem to connect. I don't get it!

My personal experience was that it wasn't unrealistic to date women 10-15 years younger and that it was more difficult to date women near my own age than younger women. A lot probably depends on how difficult you make it for men your age to date you.
 Pinky127
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 9
Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 4/30/2012 6:53:56 AM

I am as comfortable in blue jeans at a game or summer festival as I am in a dress for a night on the town.


^^^ From Op's profile and in response to msg 7 who needs to take his own advice.
Op,you have a sassy hairstyle,are slim and you look fantastic,imo
It does seem to be that a *lot* of men in their 50's are going after younger babes like they did when they were in their 20's and 30's - it's like they "conveniently" forget they've aged?
But there ARE sensible men out there. It just takes a while.
So,i wish you luck!
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/25/2011
Msg: 10
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Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 4/30/2012 7:09:03 AM

Op,you have a sassy hairstyle,are slim and you look fantastic,imo.
Agreed!
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 11
Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 4/30/2012 7:25:25 AM
Yes some of us do want the same or similar. I would like to be with someone who is within a couple of years of my age. Someone who is active and fit and someone who is in a similar financial situation to me. Unfortunately I find most of the women who fit that description feel they are able to attract much better.

Maybe it's something to do with where you live or maybe the men who are your age that are interested in you are just not interesting enough for you to want to meet them.

Men who are very desirable in the eyes of women often are able to attract younger women - there is nothing wrong with a man in his 50's seeking a woman in her 40's IMO... maybe you are setting the bar a little high for what you are able to attract or maybe you just need to be a little more patient.

OP every time I see a woman complain that no men her age want to date her I am reminded of all the things women complain about with typical men thier age. Are you only attracted to men who are significantly better off financially than you are and have a full head of dark hair, an athletic body and lots of time and money at thier disposal?

The majority of the women I have met/dated since I started dating have typically been within a couple of years of my age and that did not change when I turned 40 or 50. The youngest I have dated was 12 yrs younger at the age of 52. The oldest I have dated was 8 yrs older at the age of 34.


 onehappyfellow
Joined: 9/21/2008
Msg: 12
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Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 4/30/2012 7:26:33 AM
I don't want younger although I do get emails from much younger

Looking for someone age appropriate that's about age 70 up to still breathing.

I expect and can manage someone with a few of the challenges that can be expected with age. Deal breakers with me are smokers, pet owners and too young
 tdh49
Joined: 4/12/2012
Msg: 13
Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 4/30/2012 7:57:26 AM
When I was in my mid thirties I had no problem dating a woman 10/15 years OLDER. In my forties it was the same way, most of the women I dated were either my age or older. Now that I'm in my fifties it's no different. The women who I'm most attracted to are in the 45/58 range.

I would date someone younger I guess, but I doubt it would lead me where I eventually wanted to go, so that would not be fair to them or myself.

That being said people online need to do what makes THEM happy and stop stressing about what other members are doing or not doing. If a 60 year old man/woman wants to date someone in their thirties or even twenties for that matter it's their business. If they are being delusional, then it's their delusions, let them deal with it.

We all need to mind our own business, if we don't have any business to mind, then we need to make it our business, to leave other peoples business alone, to each their own. I don't know what's right or someone else, and they sure can't tell me what's right for me.
 LauraLab1
Joined: 3/14/2012
Msg: 14
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Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 4/30/2012 8:04:35 AM
I keep it within 8 years older or 2 years younger. I'm 42. I just don't seem to connect with men older.
 darknight48
Joined: 1/22/2011
Msg: 15
Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 4/30/2012 8:14:18 AM
depends on guy!. but as peeps get older no such pressure on guy that there is on woman to be not left on the shelf.
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 16
Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 4/30/2012 8:31:16 AM
for some reason i have never clicked with guys my age, even when i was in high school. back then it was older guys who wanted me, now its younger guys who want me, and the guys my age still dont give me the time of day....maybe its my vibe....
 TRACY-ROY
Joined: 10/14/2011
Msg: 17
Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 4/30/2012 8:39:50 AM
with mesg 7/11 agree with both i,m 51 and date 42-55 but had no luck as of yet!!! so changed my style grew my hair,changed my style of clothes,got daughter to colour it to what it was when i was 18 but lass still not working!! but what i have notice is women say in their profiles is tall,dark,good looking,as they have a young out look on life and want someone 10/15yrs younger???? lets get real we all get old and are bodys go west !! but if men/women like people younger/older then its down to them ,"me thinks" i will still keep looking for my other half be it older/younger when i find her she will know !!! just hope i get to spend what time i have left on this planet makeing her happy!!!!
 AnAustralianWoman
Joined: 4/26/2012
Msg: 18
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Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 4/30/2012 8:46:32 AM
I honestly don't think age is the subject with men (or women) over 50.
I do know that people in their 50's have a lot of history and experience and that CAN be an attractive thing.
Some people in their 50's carry themselves well and take pride in how they look, some unfortunately do not.
Most men and women for that matter are attracted to the younger age group as a lot of the time they are still living as the younger person they once were.
IF the chemistry is there then it will happen regardless of the age gap. There is NO rule that say's we must date people our own age...Society however, think's differently.
 jstlkg12
Joined: 4/9/2012
Msg: 19
Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 4/30/2012 8:51:11 AM
I know your only seeing one outfit on me but trust when I say I'm a size 6 at 5'7" tall with a shape that allows me to wear anything from popular clothing stores. The dates that I have had so far are great, no complaints from the men I have met, it's just getting past the website that I think is frustrating.
 Smarts and Heart
Joined: 12/15/2009
Msg: 20
Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 4/30/2012 8:57:07 AM
OP....It's about attraction and compatibility, pure and simple.
We all have preferences that just are. Some prefer younger, some prefer older. You are somebody's younger/older out there.

In my opinion, the men or women who look at 15+ years younger are letting themselves open to more dissapointment and aren't realistic in their expectations. You really wouldn't even want to begin anything with someone like that.

Are you giving men 5-10 years older than yourself a chance, or are your parameter your own age or younger? There are many healthy and attractive men in that age range.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 21
Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 4/30/2012 9:04:55 AM
The dates that I have had so far are great, no complaints from the men I have met, it's just getting past the website that I think is frustrating


OP you can't look as online dating as some sort of recipe for instant success if you are looking for something real. Could it be that you are just being a little impatient - you have only been here since April 9,2012
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 22
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Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 4/30/2012 9:07:58 AM
Try being a fifty something male. The majority of women in my "viewed me" list are in their sixties.
 Landra2
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 23
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Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 4/30/2012 9:09:10 AM
Why would the idea of a 50+ man finding a 30-40 year old woman be an "unrealistic expectation"?
 Iona_Bob
Joined: 3/31/2012
Msg: 24
Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 4/30/2012 9:16:46 AM
It seems that on her 50th birthday, a woman's recessive genetics kick in the "poor me" response. She becomes whiney and starts blaming those around her for her dissatisfaction with the behaviors of others. There is no known cure. It is a terminal condition. Men over 50 try to avoid this phenomenon, because, while not strictly contagious, the side effects can endanger the physical well-being of anyone in close proximity to the afflicted.
 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 25
Do men over 50 really want the same?
Posted: 4/30/2012 9:29:53 AM
Hey Op..so u have had great dates from the website? Why didnt any of those pan out? You've only been on here less than a week. Give us a photo op on your profile with you dressed to the nines. A sundress and flipflops doesnt cut it. Show us what u got, when u go out at night on the town. My suspicion is that you are too casual most if not all the time.
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