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 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 1
On an initial meetup......should the guy..?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
call to confirm the day of? What type of assurance do most women need? Is confirming a few days before ok..?/or the day before? When i tell someone i'll be there...i'll be there..my word is my bond, but it seems alot of women have been stood up..or simply dont trust us to show up? It seem i must double-confirm..triple-confirm..and quadruple-confirm..otherwise..they say.."i didnt think you were going to show'?
 edgedreality
Joined: 4/5/2012
Msg: 2
On an initial meetup......should the guy..?
Posted: 4/30/2012 10:40:02 AM
I assume this is for a "first meeting." I don't think it's out of line to call, or be called, to confirm the day before. No sooner and only once. If a woman was to call and confirm more than that I would be thinking she doesn't believe me and she doesn't know me well enough, not at all actually, to make that assumption that I won't show. But none of this has happened to me, so it's only MO.
 tiggher
Joined: 5/3/2011
Msg: 3
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On an initial meetup......should the guy..?
Posted: 4/30/2012 10:41:22 AM
I would just confirm the day/night before....& say "I'll see you at x o' clock...at agreed venue....& say..."If there's a problem, just let me know"...& leave it at that...
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 4
On an initial meetup......should the guy..?
Posted: 4/30/2012 10:58:09 AM
When i tell someone i'll be there...i'll be there..my word is my bond, but it seems alot of women have been stood up..or simply dont trust us to show up? It seem i must double-confirm..


The unmet woman does NOT know you or trust that your word means anything.. Having been stood up by online multi-dating flakes in the past, best for you to set a clear time/place and always say you will also confirm the day of the "first meet" and then DO IT.
 tallmanenters
Joined: 1/28/2012
Msg: 5
On an initial meetup......should the guy..?
Posted: 4/30/2012 11:04:07 AM
They just can't believe their luck that they are about to meet you. Seriously, out of all 7 dates I had off this site only one asked for a confirmation. Maybe these you are talking about have low confidence, or are just nervous/neurotic in the anticipation.
 Iona_Bob
Joined: 3/31/2012
Msg: 6
On an initial meetup......should the guy..?
Posted: 4/30/2012 11:21:24 AM
Doesn't hurt to call ahead/ day before and make sure you exchange phone numbers in case something comes up.
 DeborahC56
Joined: 10/20/2010
Msg: 7
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On an initial meetup......should the guy..?
Posted: 4/30/2012 11:37:11 AM
I usually send an email the day before and say… looking forward to seeing you tomorrow
 edgedreality
Joined: 4/5/2012
Msg: 8
On an initial meetup......should the guy..?
Posted: 4/30/2012 11:53:50 AM
Doesn't hurt to call ahead/ day before and make sure you exchange phone numbers in case something comes up.


aka Shit can happen and it usually does. I'd confirm by email until the meet. What if the other person is a psycho? Give that person your phone number and, here in Canada at least, they can go to Canada411 and get your address. Unless your number is unlisted and not everyone does that.
 chamwit
Joined: 4/1/2012
Msg: 9
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On an initial meetup......should the guy..?
Posted: 4/30/2012 11:55:31 AM
Dude, women adore a man with a plan so contacting her the day before can only work in your favour.
 Iona_Bob
Joined: 3/31/2012
Msg: 10
On an initial meetup......should the guy..?
Posted: 4/30/2012 11:57:50 AM

they can go to Canada411 and get your address.

Not with a disposable phone.
You need to stay after class!
 sainbain
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 11
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On an initial meetup......should the guy..?
Posted: 4/30/2012 12:05:22 PM
I think one email/call/text (depending on how you have been communicating up to this point) on the night before the planned activity is plenty. If she asks you if you are still coming, of course you should answer her.
 edgedreality
Joined: 4/5/2012
Msg: 12
On an initial meetup......should the guy..?
Posted: 4/30/2012 12:17:58 PM
Not with a disposable phone.


You must have read How to Disappear by Frank M. Ahearn.


You need to stay after class!


Yes, ma'am. I'll bring the cheese and crackers for the wine you're drinking.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 13
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On an initial meetup......should the guy..?
Posted: 4/30/2012 12:18:19 PM
You may know you're reliable but she doesn't know that yet. Yes, confirming the evening before or day of is a good idea and I think it's shows you're thoughtful. All you need is a short, "Looking forward to meeting you at _____."
 dan88anew
Joined: 1/23/2010
Msg: 14
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On an initial meetup......should the guy..?
Posted: 4/30/2012 12:42:16 PM
Hmm personally I've never called to confirm. If I make a date then I will be their no matter what.

Then again I've normally exchanged a few texts with them the same day as the date so I guess they know I'll be their because I've talked to them that day .

Its not really something i've ever thought about but I guess their normally is something in those texts like ''Im looking forward to our date tonight'' etc. I think at my age thats all thats needed it'd be a bit odd to call to confirm a date for me. Unless you havent texted or spoken to them in a week or so.
 Iona_Bob
Joined: 3/31/2012
Msg: 15
On an initial meetup......should the guy..?
Posted: 4/30/2012 12:52:36 PM
Hmm personally I've never called to confirm. If I make a date then I will be their no matter what.

Then again I've normally exchanged a few texts with them the same day as the date so I guess they know I'll be their


Young stud = text confirmation

Old school = phone call

 InMyOwnTime25
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 17
On an initial meetup......should the guy..?
Posted: 4/30/2012 2:44:37 PM
I never call to confirm, it seems sort of anal-retentive to me, if they don't say they aren't coming they're probably coming. If we never actually agreed on a time that's different. MOST of the time guys have shown up without me asking them to confirm, or have at least cancelled a couple of hours before (which is still annoying but at least they let me know).
 PamiOakley
Joined: 9/26/2010
Msg: 18
On an initial meetup......should the guy..?
Posted: 4/30/2012 2:55:43 PM
If I have a meet and greet date and haven't heard from the guy in 24 hours, I've called or texted... Are we still on? I like confirmation. Doesn't matter to me who initiates it.
 Zermatt
Joined: 1/8/2006
Msg: 19
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On an initial meetup......should the guy..?
Posted: 4/30/2012 2:56:06 PM
I say confirm, especially if it a a POF meet and greet. I was stood up a number of times when meeting online dates--it happens to everybody. Some even don't show after they have confirmed. They get cold feet or who knows what. Maybe they are married or don't look like their pictures, who knows.

At least then you don't waste your time, gas, and the humiliation, etc. But it is not foolproof. I once had a POF guy phone me two or three times that he was "on his way," while I waited in the restaurant. I finally ordered lunch, ate, then went home. He emailed the next day that he was SO sorry (but gave no explanation). He actually expected I would give him another chance. I wished him well in his future endeavors.

So guys, if you wonder why women here can be hinky, that just might be the reason.
 ilovemylaugh
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 20
On an initial meetup......should the guy..?
Posted: 4/30/2012 2:56:54 PM
Hm... never had the need or desire for the confirm. Once it is made, I expect for both of us to be there. A little notice beforehand if they can't make it is polite and always appreciated.

In general though, if we've moved to the first meet, we are already talking/texting. So the confirmation is there from both sides up until the "see you soon :o) ".
 Meems919
Joined: 2/16/2012
Msg: 21
On an initial meetup......should the guy..?
Posted: 4/30/2012 3:00:15 PM
If someone confirms the day or evening before, that's fine...tells me they're anticipating spending some time meeting me. If not, that's fine too....I figure we're adults and if something comes up (or goes down) I provide a disposable number for emergencies.....good manners count, but I don't personally need someone's reassurance that they'll keep their word. If they don't, I get a cup of coffee and c'est la vie.
 LauraLab1
Joined: 3/14/2012
Msg: 22
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On an initial meetup......should the guy..?
Posted: 4/30/2012 3:19:59 PM
A call or text the day/night before or day of the planned date would be nice. It's just common courtesy and only takes a minute. The same can be done if the guy changes his mind and wants to bail. Once I get to a planned meeting place and my date isn't there, I'll wait about 15-20 minutes. If there is still no text or call after that, I'm gone.

I don't understand why someone would make a date and then not show up. It sure doesn't do much for his credibility and if such a person would do that to me and then ask me out again, I would turn them down and I have. I'm not going to waste my time or lose any sleep over it.
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 23
On an initial meetup......should the guy..?
Posted: 4/30/2012 3:20:34 PM
The more you communicate the less chance of miscommunication. I'll call right before leaving and if I'm picking her up I'll even call her a few minutes before arrival. Just giving her a heads up. Beats ringing the doorbell while she's rushing herself off of the toilet to get the door. Dayum. I just got a visual of that.

Is it necessary? No. Does it hurt anything? Well, maybe if she's rushing herself off the toilet to get the phone.
 Landra2
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 24
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On an initial meetup......should the guy..?
Posted: 4/30/2012 3:23:21 PM
Yes, it's always a good idea to reconfirm.
I have had a standing date with someone for the same day, the same time, the same place, for over a year but we still confirm it the day of.
It's not a matter of trust, it's because things can happen. Just touch base to make sure nothing did.
 edgedreality
Joined: 4/5/2012
Msg: 25
On an initial meetup......should the guy..?
Posted: 4/30/2012 3:25:46 PM

good manners count


Manners or even courtesy have become a thing of the past. And confirming would be more than just that, it would be me telling her I'm looking forward to meeting her.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 26
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On an initial meetup......should the guy..?
Posted: 4/30/2012 3:42:28 PM
It looks like everybody has a different idea of the time line involved in reconfirming. Some people think confirming 3 days or a week before is fine. Others think they must confirm the same day or even hours before meeting. The biggest problem is people aren't mind readers, so one person's view of confirming in a timely manner might not be the same as the person he/she is meeting, which could cause a problem right from the start. Then there's the debate of choosing the proper method of confirming: e-mail versus text message versus phone call, or carrier pigeon. So I guess the best idea is to go with your gut feeling and hope the other person is on the same page.
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