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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?      Home login  
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 Texasdude41
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 1
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?Page 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
I wonder how many other single full time dads are out there that have to deal with deadbeat moms? Doesn't pay child support, won't talk to the kids, sends threatening emails for going back to court for the slightest thing.

How do you deal with it?

Ladies, what is your take on deadbeat moms?
 Siks6
Joined: 1/13/2012
Msg: 2
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 5/2/2012 3:35:24 AM
Yes, it has been my boy and I only since day number 1. He is 6 now. Have not heard a word from her or a single payment. All her rights have been terminated within a year cause it was considered "abandonment" by court. That was including me trying to go out of my way and find ways to make contact her as well through Missing Parents, newspaper, letters, e-mails etc. No reply. She never wanted him to begin with. But that was a long time ago. Not sure how you would deal with the threatening e-mails. But good luck to you.
 buzzga
Joined: 1/4/2012
Msg: 3
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 5/2/2012 5:17:55 AM
Same here, no payments and only seen them twice in six months even with her applying for a contact order to see them when she likes
 PaminSD
Joined: 2/25/2012
Msg: 4
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We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 5/2/2012 5:25:16 AM
I have noticed this has been going on a lot more and I just cannot fathom not having my children living with me. I am sorry for you and your children going through this.
 BountyHunterMike
Joined: 10/5/2011
Msg: 5
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 5/2/2012 5:51:38 AM
noticed not many women have replyed...GO figure..they can easy dishout and name calling their ex "deadbeats" but when the shoe is on the other foot..typical
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 6
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We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 5/2/2012 6:28:21 AM
There are indeed deadbeat moms and plenty of them... some are custodial mothers who abuse/ neglect or PAS ( parental alienation syndrome- emotionally and physically making kids block dad out of their lives). But you will not see much truth as to who they are. They live in denial about it all.
 xxsmexixx
Joined: 7/15/2010
Msg: 7
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We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 5/2/2012 6:50:57 AM

noticed not many women have replyed... GO figure


I think women on here havent replied {thats the correct spelling} because they can't emphasize with them. Single moms cant understand why moms choose to leave.

OP I'm sure dead beat moms exist more than we like to think they do.

My hat goes off to any singel parent, I dont like to seperate into single mom or single dad because we should all stick together.

I do however wonder how they kids feel when they are older knowing that this woman decided to keep them carried them for 9 months went through hours of labour and still couldnt or wouldnt love them enough to stick around.

It is completely different to a dad ''not knowing'' or disappearing at the words I'm pregnant etc

Smexi
 NoblePeach
Joined: 6/6/2011
Msg: 8
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 5/2/2012 6:55:55 AM
It doesnt matter if its a deadbeat mom or a deadbeat dad, the most important thing is the care of the child / children. In an ideal world we would all be bringing up our children as part of a couple but when that is not in the best interest of the child then we all try our best to limit the pain and damage caused to the children. I'm really lucky in that I have fantastic family support and my daughter has always had good strong male role models. But I work with families who have had very disrupted and unsettled backgrounds and if you havent had good parenting how can you expect to pass it on to your children without support and guidance.
 Siks6
Joined: 1/13/2012
Msg: 9
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 5/2/2012 7:15:28 AM
Indeed. But honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way :) I love being the only person he loves and relies on. Plus its just been him and I since birth so he doesn't or wouldn't know any different for him to feel that there is "someone missing" or present any feelings towards it. No need for a woman here. xD
 xxsmexixx
Joined: 7/15/2010
Msg: 10
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We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 5/2/2012 7:50:44 AM
^^^^ My situation is similiar to yours.

Just my son and I since birth ( 4years) and I too like the idea that he doesnt have to share his love ha ha

We don't a man but it would be nice for me to have one :-D

smexi
 jy1979
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 11
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 5/2/2012 8:53:03 AM
I totally understand the deadbeat mom situation. My own mom was a deadbeat. My dad raised me. This is also happening with my kids. My son has been living with me for the last 2 years because his mom decidede the new boyfriend was more important than him. This was abusing my son so that's why he is living with me. My daughter lives with my ex's mom for the same reason. It sucks to see my kids go through the same thing that I went through as a child. What bothers me is if this continues my kids will lose respect for there mother. A mothers love is very important to kids.
 QueenBeeSweetness
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 12
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 5/2/2012 9:29:36 AM

noticed not many women have replyed...GO figure..they can easy dishout and name calling their ex "deadbeats" but when the shoe is on the other foot..typical


Statements that like kind of suggest you have an "us & them" mindset when it comes to women, i agree with Smexi, we are all parents! male or female we should be supportive of other parents, not keep widening the gender divide that so many like to do. And really, i have seen a LOT of single male parents bash on single female parents in this forum, which is complete crap.

Now on topic, deadbeats can be anybody. Any gender, race, religion, nationality, etc. Dont make yet another gender war thread puh-leazzzzze!
 JoseMadre
Joined: 1/9/2012
Msg: 13
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 5/2/2012 9:43:02 AM
In my circle deadbeat dads are much more prevalent, but I do have one person who works for our company who is dealing with a deadbeat mom situation. She makes nearly double what he does, left him with the kids, and is battling in court because she doesn't want to pay any child support. I have no respect for anyone, male or female, who has the means but refuses to help support the kids.
 Twitchynose_Sami
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 14
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 5/2/2012 9:43:38 AM

Ladies, what is your take on deadbeat moms?


My take on them is the same as my take on "deadbeat" (in quotes because what I consider to be a "deadbeat" dad is not what apparently most others consider to be a "deadbeat" which is quite shocking when most who are considered "deadbeats" are good fathers just trying to do the best they can, yet they get slaughtered for it, by the angelic *snorts* mother) dads. If they willingly remove themselves from the child's life and want no contact, then why on earth chase after them for anything? It doesn't make sense to me. Accept their choice and move on and be there for your kiddo. Don't turn it into a court and hate fuelled battle that at the end of the day will cause more harm to your kiddo than anyone else. Just leave it be.

Seriously, I can't understand anyone spending their days chasing after any parent who has willingly made the choice too "abandon" (that's in quotes because the term abandon apparently means a lot of different things to people which sorry to say, isn't abandonment at all. I use it here as in they want no contact, they don't want to pay, they want nothing to do with kids and or you, period) said kiddo. They've made their choice, they want out, they, to quote the delightful Rhett Butler, "frankly my dear, don't give a damn".

Maybe one day they'll change their minds, maybe one day they won't. In the meantime, be the best you can be for your kid and don't let your own hatred, resentment, whatever, influence your kiddo's decision re the absent parent. Kids are smart, they can make up their own minds. They don't need anyone doing that for them ^_^
 theamazingdani
Joined: 3/3/2012
Msg: 15
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 5/2/2012 5:30:48 PM
Deadbeat moms are just as prevalent as deadbeat dads in my business. I think it's harder for me to understand a mother who abandons her children. I can't stand the couple of hours my child is away from me on Wednesday evenings with her dad. I can't imagine how you would ever put them out of your mind and function in your life. The system where I live is not supportive of single full time dads and I think that's very unfair. Parents are parents like other posters have said. REgardless of gender, a parent should be responsible to support their children.
 friendshipcomesfirst
Joined: 5/19/2011
Msg: 16
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 5/2/2012 5:39:24 PM

what I consider to be a "deadbeat" dad is not what apparently most others consider to be a "deadbeat"


According to USLegal Definitions, "This is a descriptive term that refers to parents of either gender who have freely choosen not to be supportive parents or who do not pay their child support obligations."

I found that here: http://definitions.uslegal.com/d/deadbeat-parent/

OP- a deadbeat is a deadbeat I don't care what sex they are. All deadbeats are a waste of space and air
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 17
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 5/2/2012 5:51:37 PM
My thoughts on a deadbeat mom are the same as a deadbeat dad. they are both scum, they both should be in jail and they both should be made to take some kind of responsibility!

The difference is.. single-fathers get credit for raising their kids alone and stepping up to the plate, and single women get dumped on for it. But that's another thread eh? (actually that's most of the thread on here...)
 QueenBeeSweetness
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 18
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 5/2/2012 5:54:40 PM
^^^ Yeah i have noticed that as well. many of the men that dump on single Moms on this forum, are single or divorced Dads. Then they go on with that crap about how "statistics say single Dads are better, more responsible, etc".
 Goodfun1forchat
Joined: 11/26/2011
Msg: 19
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We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 5/2/2012 6:32:27 PM
Well I am a dad of two wonderful boys. Myself and my exwife have joint shared custody of our children. I have a good paying job, and she chooses to basically not work. She is well educated and more than able to have a good job. She is in public housing, and collects social assistance just so it makes me have to pay more in child support which is not considered income where I live. I can barely afford to feed and cloth my kids when they are with me, but I scrap and scrounge so I can do for them. Now that is a dead beat mom! I am so sick and tired of women that are allowed to do this! There are plenty of women and men out there that are good, but why are women more able to get away this crap! In my opinion these are unfit mothers and do not deserve to have access to the children.
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 20
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 5/2/2012 6:37:31 PM
At least this thread will bash the *deserving* kind of single mother. the deadbeat..

beyond that I can't really understand how a woman can leave her child. when my son was born, it wasn't that instant bond you hear so much about, It took me a little time to fall for my son. But I still could never have abandoned him, it never crossed my mind and I never would have forgiven myself if I had. So i don't get..
(side: I don't get how dad can walk out for the same exact reason.. )

It's not an entirely new thing tho.. It's just not as prevalent as the reverse..
 Texasdude41
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 21
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 5/2/2012 11:06:27 PM
I agree a deadbeat is any sex. But I think it is obvious that when one mentions deadbeat, fathers come to mind. That is the problem I'm facing here in California where the mother/child relationship is considered sacred. My kids' mother secretly ran up $75K in credit card debt in my name (everyone should get a credit check every year or pay for a credit monitoring service...I didn't),and when the bill collectors came she went running to her new wealthy boyfriend who lives 2,000 miles away. She hasn't worked in 9 years and I put her through college. She now works for her boyfriend and "earns" minimum wage while she lives in his half million dollar house with him and drives around a brand new Lexus SUV and takes numerous trips around the country. Meanwhile the kids and I are just now doing okay because I quit paying the credit card bills. What the heck, right? My credit was ruined anyway. All this and she cries in court saying I abused her and the kids and that I withold money and the necessities of life from her and she found an "employer" that graciously gave her a job. She is screaming for alimony too!

I bet she is on crack! This is what I mean by a deadbeat. All I'm saying is that her story is working in court because she is trying to get the kids away from me and the judge is leaning towards her side more and more despite all the physical evidence I provide and the kids saying they don't want to live with her. Stereo types hurt us all but the dads take the brunt of the blame.
 Samicouldbe
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 22
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We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 5/3/2012 12:08:49 AM
Be proud of it, nothing more attractive than a father who takes care of his children. Someone should let my sons father know - because its bullshit :)
 Twitchynose_Sami
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 23
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 5/3/2012 8:23:54 AM

According to USLegal Definitions, "This is a descriptive term that refers to parents of either gender who have freely choosen not to be supportive parents or who do not pay their child support obligations."

I found that here: http://definitions.uslegal.com/d/deadbeat-parent/


Your point?
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 24
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We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 5/3/2012 8:56:25 AM
Deadbeat Moms? Exactly the same as Deadbeat Dads. They suck
Why be gender specific? Is is somehow worse when a mother does not support her family?
 40Golfer
Joined: 5/10/2011
Msg: 25
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 5/5/2012 11:29:11 AM
It is crazy, I have one that I deal with. Sees my son but getting support out of her is like getting blood out of a stone. the best thing is that I see my son every day and see so many first experiences like him learning to ride a bike etc.
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