| | No girls that I find attractive respond?Page 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | I'm so confused, so if I was out at a bar and started talking to a girl... she talks to me and if I want her number I typically can get it. However, I don't want that kind of girl so somebody tells me to try online dating so I set this up at several sites and uhhh nobody that I'm attracted to responds to any messages.
I guess this question is for the women of POF... AM I UGLY? I never thought I was.. I'm really confused here, it's like they want nothing to do with me.
I had a lot in my profile telling about me, and that didn't work so i reduced it and that doesn't work. I've uploaded new pics, that didn't work.. lol Oh man, maybe I am ugly.
http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=33842887 | |
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| No girls that I find attractive respond?
Posted: 5/4/2012 3:45:32 PM | Dude, your pics are bad that is part of the problem, from the looks of it you're a good looking guy, use that to your advantage with better quality pics.
Second your profile is vague, one obstacle you will have or a concern is you have a young daughter, most women your age are looking or will be looking to settle down to start their own family, and some dont want the hassle of the baby mama drama .
Make the profile more intriguing and take better pics, no need to tell the world your family lives with you and you have a house, that spells materialistic to some women. | |
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| No girls that I find attractive respond?
Posted: 5/4/2012 3:48:59 PM | Thanks for the advice Tempus, appreciate it man. This is crazy, it's so much easier meeting women in bars.
To do:
Take better pics with real camera in real places verses using phone
Add more to my profile in terms of my interests and explain the child situation more?
Remove the materialistic items such as I have a job that pays well and own a house, right? | |
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| No girls that I find attractive respond?
Posted: 5/4/2012 4:01:22 PM | Yeah you need better pics, if you want to keep one goofy pic that is okay, so women can see you have a sense of humour, I would say you're a single dad and if you have no baby momma drama you can say that.
Talk about you, why are you different from the rest of the dudes on here, and talk about the type of woman you want to meet, if you want to meet a woman that is height weight proportionate say that, or a certain look, but dont say I dont want to meet BBW or what ever because that can be offensive, post what you want to meet but do it politely.
One that is possibly turning off some women is that fact you want to meet someone as young as 22, some women think oh he likes the young hot ones, you might want to up to maybe 25 or dont put a age restriction in. | |
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| No girls that I find attractive respond?
Posted: 5/4/2012 4:04:02 PM |
Hey what's up? If you were 22, I'd say "No". As you are 32, I am going to say "No Justin, just no".
My name is Justin I don't like names in profiles. Also, save this and you have your opening for your first message.
if you haven't figured it out How could we have figured that out? Remove this.
Currently my brother and his fiance are living in my house so they can save up some money to buy a house too. This is really their information. You could just say "I have my own house which I am currently sharing with my cousin and his wife".
What sort of music/movies/games/TVshows do you like? How do you spend your spare time? Do you like camping/rock climbing/reading/skating/comedy shows/beach/bush walking etc?
What are you looking for in a woman? Should she be fit/active/stylish/fashionable/are kids ok?
Your profile should create a sense of who you are and how you live your life.
First Date
I think dinner and maybe a movie. It's conventional and allows us to get to know each other and enjoy something entertaining. This section usually refers to the First Meet. Dinner and movies are not good for first meets (and probably not good for first dates either). Dinner/movies add up to an expensive night out with someone you may never see again. Better off to arrange something simple and inexpensive. Coffee or drinks is good. Also a walk along a beach/in a park. Maybe a museum. One of my best first meet/dates was a rock and roll dancing lesson. It should be something that can easily be limited to about an hour. | |
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| No girls that I find attractive respond?
Posted: 5/4/2012 4:16:37 PM | What's with the, "Am I ugly?", bit? Do you WANT us to tell you you're ugly? Perhaps to some you are. Whatever it is, you asking that question is becoming old. Stop looking for pity/acceptance/desperate or whatever you want to call it. It doesn't bode well with women.
Lose the caps in the pix. They shade your eyes and women want to see eyes.
Try for a variety of pix and include at least one full-length. Women want to see what you do look like, and not just the face.
Read the profile writing tips at the top of the forum - they're in green and offer super advice. | |
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| No girls that I find attractive respond?
Posted: 5/4/2012 8:58:11 PM | When you walk up to some girl in a bar, do you have a ballcap or doo-rag on and give her the serial-killer stare you have in your photos? I bet not. You are probably not 'ugly', but the photos are not really attractive and the profile gives no real clues to your personality or sense of humour, both of which you can also show to the random girls in a bar, but apparently not in your profile.
Photos are half the battle. Get on those - smiling shoulders up head shot, let someone else take it. Shirt on, cap and shades off.
Do talk about things you enjoy. No need to write a novel, maybe 3-4 little paragraphs like I've done here. Your Interests are mainly specific (which is good) but the profile needs to have detail, imagination and some humour to be memorable. Otherwise - you're just vanilla.
There's no reason to have that massive wall of email restrictions. Other than No Smokers/Druggies/Married or IE, the rest are negotiable. Trust me, you won't be overwhelmed with incoming messages. If you do get a note from someone you're not interested in, you can either reply politelty ("Thanks, but I don't think we're a match") or ignore it like the girls do. Whatever
What are your introduction messages like?? | |
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| No girls that I find attractive respond?
Posted: 5/4/2012 9:01:48 PM | | Let me just say what everyone has written to you on here is bull. Disregard everything...your photos are great. You're going to hate me for saying this but someone has to help you out...most people are looking for someone without kids especially if they are single themselves....the fact that you have them is great, you are very lucky...but that will make things more difficult for you...if you don't believe me just take that out of your description and see what happens. | |
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| No girls that I find attractive respond?
Posted: 5/4/2012 9:30:03 PM | Hi Luka,
Thanks for being up front with me. That;s all I asked, yea unfortunately I married and had a child with the wrong woman, but with that said.. I wouldn't take it back because of the great child that I have. :) | |
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| No girls that I find attractive respond?
Posted: 5/4/2012 10:13:21 PM | That's such really sad, sad advice, and not true. As a single parent, I particularly wanted to meet another single parent as they would be able to relate to what I was going through.
Women that are not interested in guys with kids will not be chasing you, and to lie about it will only establish you as a liar. Don't do it. | |
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| No girls that I find attractive respond?
Posted: 5/4/2012 11:14:14 PM | | i just reviewed your profile dude. three things stuck out to me. get rid of the pic with your hat backwards, re do first date option make it public and a quick meeting of some sort, get rid of the bro living with you(you can mention later) oh yes and for goodness sakes get rid of the penguin thing seems wierd. one more thing, how would they figure out that you are a medical developer. just wierd! this is my opinions dude. good luck! | |
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| No girls that I find attractive respond?
Posted: 5/4/2012 11:28:08 PM |
Hi Luka,Thanks for being up front with me. That;s all I asked. The rest of us were up front as well. I think my profile reviews are particularly direct. Just because you might not feel inclined to follow the advice, doesn't mean it wasn't honest and well intentioned. I would seriously question advice that suggests you lie about the most important person in your life. | |
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| No girls that I find attractive respond?
Posted: 5/5/2012 1:25:19 AM | From a woman, first impression, your pics are terrible. If you are good looking, it is missin. The number one response I get about my pics is Nice eyes and that includes women so yes the person that suggested showing your pics is onto something! Good luck. I think you will have some better luck with the changes that have been suggested, other than lying of course.
Oh and people may disagree but I am not sure if children necessarily need to be mentioned in your profile. I would expect a child or two from anyone in their 30s and I am 34. | |
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| No girls that I find attractive respond?
Posted: 5/5/2012 4:52:24 AM | | gcdeb - I stopped listening to you a long time ago. There is a fine line between being nice and offering and advice and being rude. Have a nice day. | |
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| No girls that I find attractive respond?
Posted: 5/5/2012 5:04:56 AM | | Luka124: what makes you think people want shallow, self absorbed, narcissIstic people whore unable to commit to anybody responsibly, in their lives. Dating somebody with children is advantageous in learning how to share yourself and of yourself to other people. You think having children is a burden on responsible parents in the way of dang, that they would much prefer to date the likes of you? No. | |
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| No girls that I find attractive respond?
Posted: 5/5/2012 5:08:34 AM | Hi Star,
Not sure what you mean, but I don't like women who are over weight. I like women who take care of themselves and don't feel the need to bar hop every weekend. I have a child, house and job - I'm missing the essential piece ;) | |
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| No girls that I find attractive respond?
Posted: 5/5/2012 6:54:06 AM | Luka, just because you dont agree with some posters that doesn't mean its bull? Good Lord.
Look one thing I agree with is , the OP having a young child can be a issue for some women, he needs better pics, hes a good looking lad, and he needs to make his profile better.
Even though he has a young child, all he has to say is "I'm a single dad," that's all, the woman who is interested will inquire about it and he plays his cards right she may be cool with it because he comes across as interesting, if he starts off posting in his profile he has a little girl and is the world to him, well of course it can turn off a lot women.
I mean you dont walk into a bar and start talking to a woman and the first thing out of your mouth is you're a single dad, with a little girl who is the world to me and her mom is a dirt-bag right? | |
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| No girls that I find attractive respond?
Posted: 5/5/2012 7:37:19 AM | "I mean you dont walk into a bar and start talking to a woman and the first thing out of your mouth is you're a single dad, with a little girl who is the world to me and her mom is a dirt-bag right?"
I never thought of it that way, and that's a great point. I think I will have to call some friends up and get some pics off of them they have of me, or just go out and take some w. some friends. After that I'll make my profile much more interesting in terms of what I like to do and what I'm looking for.
I think it's great all of the people coming forth with advice although I question a few comments that were made such as I dress like a plummer and I need to lose my facial fat (I'm not fat at all). | |
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