| | The Dynamics of Online Conversation. Page 1 of 1 | Many of us have heard the old adage. Only 7% of what we communicate is through WHAT we say, the other 93% is communicated through out body language, tone and inflection. I have prescribed to this rule most of my life; I enjoy talking in person... You can detect indiosyncrasies such as sarcasm, resentment, excitement, anticipation, genuinity, interest, etc... a whole lot better than over typed words.
I'm not a very good texter... most of my text's are straight and to the point. "Where ya at?," "What time are we meeting?," "Can you pick up a 6 pack of MGD on your way here?," That sorta thing... I'm horrible at texting MEANINGFUL conversations.
I mean it's hard enough to text my friends, when it's something important, i respond to thier texts with a phone call... but on POF, i don't have that luxury, and on top of that, the other person is usually a complete stranger.
Which brings me to the topic at hand:
How do you (whether personally or generally) talk to people online?
I've had numerous conversation on POF and they've all become either
a.) Remiscent of a Job Interview (The question game)
b.) ... well I guess there really isn't a "b" all of my convos here are a back and forth game of asking eachother what we do for work, fun, education, and/or how many pets we have if any.
but yeah, I need help here... How do you talk to people online? | |
|
| The Dynamics of Online Conversation.
Posted: 5/14/2012 8:58:17 PM | Subscribed.
Really, what appears to be an interview is just a game of 20 questions or more.
Common interests, morality, ethics, sports, life experiences.......could go on and on.
Stick yourself in a room full of people you don't know. Now, start to pick up on conversations. You will generally lean in the direction that you are most comfortable. That's a bit like what you are doing in these conversations.
The first two or three emails are tire kickers (seriously, we all know that).
If interest continues, one delves deeper.
If not, you've learned how to communicate using this site and medium.
I could gab forever about life and the ups and downs. Then again, I'm ancient and finding a willing audience is getting harder and harder. Thinking of hanging out at bus stops and chatting people up. :)
First and foremost, be relaxed and be yourself.
^^BG^^ | |
|
| |
| The Dynamics of Online Conversation.
Posted: 6/9/2012 2:26:40 PM | I agree with BG but learning to converse and being honest, genuine and yourself are the keys. Try to talk about things that interest the both of you. There's nothing like a boring conversation that makes you feel like your wasting your time. Being straight to the point is good also, as this avoids that situation along with idle chit chat. Whether you meet your soul mate or another friend it could be time well invested. Pretend they're in person and don't necessarily have to be so serious. GL
ps Save the sex chat for later esp. if your interested in a real meaningful relationship. | |
|
| The Dynamics of Online Conversation.
Posted: 6/10/2012 10:32:18 AM | I don't understand the incessant 'hi how are you' initial messages. If I felt like expending the energy I would dutifully respond with 'good and you?' and then they would reply with something equally meaningless and the conversation goes absolutely nowhere..
Or the 'want to chat?'- err, isn't that the point of messaging, to actually start a conversation? I get the feeling they are too timid to do so and just passively toss the ball in my direction. No thanks.
I mean presumably there is a reason that you are contacting a person in the first place, is it such a stretch to suggest including it.. ? If it is just the photos that drew you in, be expecting an equally shallow response.
Anyway, the above may or may not apply to you, I guess I just needed to vent, lol... you mention the job interview stuff, you could try conversing about more open ended topics. You are one half of the convo, so if too many questions annoy you, don't ask so many, redirect the conversation into an area that is more enjoyable. Use humor. Experiment. | |
|
|
Home
login 
