| | Am I too fussy? Page 1 of 2 (1, 2) | OK so I have been on an off of this site for 2 years and only just discovered it has a forum (Oooops) so figured I'd start a thread. I've been on numerous dates, some as purely friends, some as proper "dates" and it all goes well until...I find something wrong with them. I'm not shallow by any means and believe that you don't have to look beautiful, to be beautiful...But I'd find little things for example, one had a large hairy facial mole...which was not in any of her pictures but it bugged me. Also another who had extremely large upper gums which freaked me out lol.
Am I too fussy?
I'm Ty by the way :) | |
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RyJFa
| | Joined: 4/28/2012
Msg: 2 | |
| Am I too fussy?
Posted: 5/19/2012 2:51:46 PM | | Depends. If these women all had nice personalities and you'd have dated them otherwise, then yes, you're being fussy. | |
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| Am I too fussy?
Posted: 5/19/2012 2:54:52 PM | But if you wasn't aware of these things and you only noticed them in person?
I think that yes you can love someone who isn't visually beautiful, I did a few years ago but when it comes to something that actually bugs you, is that fussy?
I don't want to come across as rude or shallow by the way, my momma raised me better lol | |
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RyJFa
| | Joined: 4/28/2012
Msg: 4 | |
| Am I too fussy?
Posted: 5/19/2012 3:00:02 PM | | That's not a question anyone else can answer for you. I can give you my perspective, because I've also turned down women who had minor tics that bothered me: if you can't stand being around a girl because of a word that she uses or a mole that she has, you two probably weren't compatible in the first place. Still, I'd say that you should give a person a decent chance before brushing them off. A couple of conversations could make a big difference, in allowing you to decide what it is that you're after. | |
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| Am I too fussy?
Posted: 5/19/2012 3:00:04 PM | Since you're new to the forums, be sure to do a thread search before posting or else there's the possibility of having your threads deleted. If you search "too picky" a whole page comes up that will provide you with some insight.
Enjoy the forums...there's lots to be learned here! | |
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| Am I too fussy?
Posted: 5/19/2012 3:02:47 PM | Ah ok, I will search "Too fussy" now lol thank you.
I did give them a chance and even met up with them a few times to see if I could see past it but couldn't.
I've kinda realised it was a pointless thread to post really lol | |
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| Am I too fussy?
Posted: 5/19/2012 3:35:25 PM | | From the example you gave , I would say that is fussy. But that is your choice of course, and as you already know it will limit your possible choices. Up to you whether you want to accept their minor flaws or move on to someone else. | |
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| Am I too fussy?
Posted: 5/19/2012 5:34:35 PM | Yes, it's being too fussy. My ex-boyfriend had a decent sized mole between the side of his nose and his face which I couldn't stand. I was able to see past it. He also had a few scars on his face from his job which I started to feel were actually quite endearing. I would hate if someone looked past me because I have a beauty mark on my forehead.
I wouldn't throw stones living in a glass house... | |
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| Am I too fussy?
Posted: 5/19/2012 5:55:43 PM | | the only time standards are questionable is when you're not happy with the results they give you. it's safe to assume you're not happy, since you wouldn't be starting a thread otherwise. therefore yes, you are too fussy. | |
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| Am I too fussy?
Posted: 5/19/2012 7:10:55 PM | | Why yes you are. I love hairy moles and large gums. Particularly on the same person. | |
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| Am I too fussy?
Posted: 5/20/2012 12:58:04 AM | | Vixxn, your mole is tiny on your forehead...I mean this person's mole was bigger than a 2 pound coin...I'm going to shut up now. I get people's opinions so thank you | |
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| Am I too fussy?
Posted: 5/20/2012 1:32:57 AM | | So, somebody is suppose to inform you of their gum size? If somebody had a mole why would they have to inform you of that? Do you inform all dates of every pimple, scrape/scratch and blemish on your body. Ridiculous to expect to be informed. However, if it bothers you then that is your choice to not date them, but inperfections to you does not mean their inperfections to them and they may not feel the need to disclose those things. | |
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| Am I too fussy?
Posted: 5/20/2012 1:41:17 AM | yes you are shallow and fussy in my opinion. you never once talked about their personalities or who they were. The way you dress in your profile, the outside seems to mean a heck of a lot more than the inside to you.
Remember, you are not perfect to them either. | |
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| Am I too fussy?
Posted: 5/20/2012 2:01:21 AM | | I'm starting to wonder if I am. I want an 18 yo virgin Christian conservative woman who is thin with no tats and is a girly girl and wise enough to know how to last in a relationship and never lies or cheats. I go forever not dating because society ahs turned into an annoying set of clones where everyone is a liberal atheist with tats acting like a guy and lying all the time. | |
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| Am I too fussy?
Posted: 5/20/2012 7:57:19 AM | I'm real fussy and glad for it.
I want a way better looking than me girl that just lives around the corner and will enter my world and I don't really want to hang out with a pile of her friends and family unless I for some coincidence like them and she has to be OK with run on sentences, but I also know I will find one because I do every five years and have confidence in my abilities. | |
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| Am I too fussy?
Posted: 5/20/2012 8:19:07 AM | | Your face annoys me...but im pretty shallow | |
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| Am I too fussy?
Posted: 5/20/2012 8:24:54 AM | | katty is right man your face is anoying and also at bit hard to look at :( | |
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| Am I too fussy?
Posted: 5/20/2012 8:45:26 AM | No, you're not being fussy at all.
You are simply noticing things on women that you find physically unappealing, so why try to work through them when there are plenty of other women to date. You are not comitted to any of them, nor do you owe it to them to change anything about what you like or don't like. Different people are attracted to different things.
BTW, a large hairy facial mole is not a "little thing", and had you seen it in one of her pictures I doubt you would have asked her out in the first place, I know I wouldn't have.
Since dating, presumably, is about finding a person who you would like getting into a relationship with down the road, why compromise so early on when you don't have to. If anything, you would only be setting a pattern of making further compromises which is not a healthy way to lead your life.
Someone will come into the picture who will eventually take your breath away, so wait for her, you'd be very disappointed if she walked by and you were in a relationship with someone else. | |
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| Am I too fussy?
Posted: 5/20/2012 10:06:26 AM | | no you are not fussy.Even my mother gave the advise that since my divorce, I have every right to be choosey. i or one dont want to settle.at times I even wonder if I have really gotten over my marriage(its been 3 yrs since its been over) because like you,I cant seem to get past cetain things or just plain not interested.Maybe the right person just hasnt hasnt come along.I guess only time will tell. | |
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| Am I too fussy?
Posted: 5/20/2012 10:24:47 AM | There is nothing wrong with being picky... I would rather be picky than settle. I have settled before and it never works out and I believe there is that someone out there for everyone that gives you that WOW feeling. I will wait a lifetime for that WOW feeling...not that person where you are trying to make a feeling be there that is not. Never too fussy!!!! You are who you are and you want what you want!!!!! Good luck with your search!!!...
I have done the same thing... Was with this great guy who probably would have treated me like a queen but he had 2 funky front teeth. That is all I focused on... I tried to overcome because he was nice and treated me well... He would put chapstick on everytime he tried to kiss me... Ugh yuck!!! I just couldn't take it anymore and then told him the chemistry wasn't there.... | |
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| Am I too fussy?
Posted: 5/20/2012 1:10:22 PM | OP, no I don't think you are being shallow or too picky. I mean, people honestly cannot control who and what they are or are not attracted to. You can't help it if something turns you off, right? You can't force an attraction! It is what it is.
I went on a date once with a guy who was very attractive, but his fingernails were a bit on the longer side (he forgot to trim, I guess) and they even scratched me once, ew! LOL. Turned me off:0 It wasn't the only thing mind you, but it did factor in.
You can't help who you're attracted to or not attracted to! Someone either floats your boat, lol, or they don't. It's simple really.
This is a funny post, thanks for that.
Cheers :-) | |
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| Am I too fussy?
Posted: 5/20/2012 4:39:57 PM | All I have visions of now are of someone with long nails haha thanks for that. I bite mine (Chidhood habit) but I'd rather have small nails than blackboard scratching eagle claws lol.
I didn't spot the mole because all of her pictures, she had a fringe covering it...when I met her in person, she had it up in a bun...It reminded me of Austin Powers when he see's the guy with the big mole on his face...Moley moley moley.
Oh and for the people with the pathetic comments of "your pictures make me sick"...get a life lol. I wont be bothered of phased by your negative comments. Mother always taught me, if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything :) Take my advice :) | |
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| Am I too fussy?
Posted: 5/20/2012 6:29:15 PM | I could get over a mole or goofy gums/teeth if she had a hot body or personality. Or both.
You're 24, good looking and live in the UK so just go out and party and get laid. No point in looking for girlfriend material until you're 30 these days.
BTW you should think about getting out of the UK and maybe going to the continent...the economy in a lot of the Scandinavian states is better and the women are better looking and nicer too. | |
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| Am I too fussy?
Posted: 5/20/2012 10:28:57 PM | | I'm sorry, I lol'd at this post. People are being harsh but if you can't look past a person's mole or big ol' gums then you don't need to be with them. Let them be with someone who can overlook that. Fussy? No. Shallow? Yes. But it is what it is. | |
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