|Sex addictionPage 1 of 2 (1, 2)|
|I have a question that I'm sure I'll be criticized for. Is there really such thing as sex addiction? I am getting married in couple of months, but I crave having casual,discreet, sex with other women. The bad thing is, is that I love the woman I'm with and truly do want to marry her but I can't stop wanting sex all the time. We don't have a very good sex life and maybe that's part of it, but I've been like this with any woman I've ever dated even when the sex was amazing. I'll be interested to read the replays for this|
Posted: 5/19/2012 11:18:51 PM
|yes thats possible... but no idea if you fit into that...|
perhaps you should discuss your needs with your fiance before marrying.
Posted: 5/19/2012 11:30:58 PM
|So....Why the hell are you getting married???????????????????????????????????????|
What a terrible way to start married life....knowing that you'll be getting your pecker up any floozie that takes your fancy......
I sincerely hope your Fiancee breaks this 'relationship' off.....shame on you...
She deserves far better....Do her a favour....leave her alone...Call off the Wedding (If you care for her AT ALL!!!!!!!)
Posted: 5/19/2012 11:36:23 PM
|no shame if shes ok with that.. if shes not then yes shame!|
Posted: 5/19/2012 11:48:48 PM
|You're getting married in a few months, but why are you single on pof ? Poor girl :( |
Sorry I'm just curious.
Posted: 5/20/2012 12:29:23 AM
|Well I am just a normal guy looking to see if anything is really out there. Wasnt too sure about the whole internet dating thing at first but I see in todays age its what everyone does. I enjoy spending time with my daughter and if your not ok with the fact that I have a child then theres no need in messaging me. I enjoy anything that has to do with sports and going to the movies. My main goal in life is being a good provider for my family and being the best father I can be. Im looking for an honest and independent woman. I dont need someone that has to have me make all the decisions for them. If any of this interests you then you can message me. :) |
The above from YOUR profile.......It's a joke right???????????
Good God.....Words fail me!!!!!!
Posted: 5/20/2012 1:30:45 AM
I am getting married in couple of months, but I crave having casual,discreet, sex with other women.
Op,DONT GET MARRIED!!!!!
Posted: 5/20/2012 2:01:21 AM
|Of course there is such a thing as sex addiction. You say you love the woman you are going to be marrying but that doesn't mean you have to marry her especially if you "crave having casual, discreet sex with other women". You need to come clean with your fiance especially since you don't feel that having sex is great with her most of the time. She deserves to know that you will most definitely cheat on her and more often than none you will. You are not ready to be a married man and you need to seek therapy for your sex addiction.|
Posted: 5/20/2012 2:34:54 AM
|I was a sex addict for years but fortunately my partner at the time was just as hungry. If she was not available I just took care of it myself. Never did the cheating thing. When u r married then u just have one partner...unless both of u r into swinging or if she is a rare bird that doesn't care.|
To crave many other women is just a natural instinct. We are animals though rather domesticated. Just focus on one and maybe she will surprise you
Posted: 5/20/2012 2:58:23 AM
|Well the thing is, we're open in our relationship. She knows about it. I was just curious as to why I can't just be happy with one|
Posted: 5/20/2012 3:05:30 AM
|So. you are cool if she sleeps around?|
Posted: 5/20/2012 3:40:00 AM
|yes there is such a thing as sex addiction, also goes with love addiction.... |
There are support groups all over for LOVE and SEX addicts, which can be one or both. Until you start acvcting upon your "cravings" no big deal, it's just fantasy which is not the same as addiction.
Sounds like your not sexually compatible with your girlfriend, which is causing you to live in fantasy world. You should try to communicate to your girlfriend in a good way as to how you can improve things for her ( thus you)
by all the posts and your profile, seems maybe you should not be getting married ( seem too immature), but hey..................
soon will come baby and if things don't work out, you will live through the 18 to 21 years of child support and constant contact with this woman your goingto marry and no doubt divorce. Lots of men have survived it.
Been to Paris Texas, small college town.
That might be another problem... both of you are small town people and do not understand life yet.
Posted: 5/20/2012 3:55:18 AM
|op, it seems obvious from your post why everyone is warning you off marriage at this point with this woman.|
you ask if there is such a thing as sex addiction, though it seems you know there is and it sounds like you know you probably are an addict.
so, seeing how important it is for you, whether you call it an addiction or not, you then go on to say it's not that good with your fiancee'....
now even though you say you have an open relationship and you love her, the obvious question to me is why would you marry someone you know you don't have a good sexual relationship with when you also know how important and really necessary good sexual relationships are for you?
like the others said, please do not marry her until you are clear on this. btw, i speak from experience... my marriage lasted nine years and that was stretching it.....
though i'm not addicted to sex, i learned that if my primary loving relationship and father of our children is not good sexually, it is not one that will last a lifetime. and both people will compensate for the lack of amazing intimacy we all know is possible.
so, again, why marry someone you don't have that sort of connection with? it seems unwise for you, for her, and for your daughter too.
Posted: 5/20/2012 4:33:53 AM
|Maybe you THINK you have a sex addiction because the sex is shite at home.|
True sex addiction is a diagnosable affliction, unless you have been diagnosed then no, I don't think you have it. I just think you can't keep it in your pants when someone willing to drop theirs comes along.
I just hope you are practising safe sex and not risking flooding the popluation with your progeny or spreading the lourve along with a selection of STD's.
By the way, I feel for the woman you want to marry, your mind is clearly not focused on her and what should be the best day of her life...... I wonder if shes aware of that.
Posted: 5/20/2012 4:41:02 AM
|It seems to me, that the most likely and common reason why "just one" isn't enough for you is:|
* that you don't really love her (you just enjoy how you feel because she devotes herself to you);
* you aren't mature sexually, such that it's still just a form of mutual masturbation for you;
* you have no sense of a life with goals of any sort, such that building something with someone else even begins to come into your mental perspective;
All in all, I would recommend that instead of looking up the facts about sex addiction, that you instead put in some time researching "narcissistic and partial personality disorders."
Posted: 5/20/2012 4:51:29 AM
|I have a guy friend, will be visiting me next week, whose partner might be called sex addicted, and he's quite OK with that, in matter of fact turned on by it. Her addiction is for other woman.|
I have another friend wherein both she and her husband are sex addicted.. They are presently in Miami enjoying a swingers event. They never practice swinging without their partner and they enjoy it immensely.
Whatever turns your crank.
Talk it over with your partner and see what she thinks and go with that.
Posted: 5/20/2012 4:52:49 AM
|Perhaps you should be more clear in your profile that you are getting married to the woman you love and so you only want casual sex as you may give women the wrong impression. As long as your fiance is on board with what you are doing, but she needs to know.|
Posted: 5/20/2012 5:11:59 AM
|Sexual addiction is SO much more than just being a horndog, which is what you sound like from your description.|
You also sound as though you have the character make-up of being a serial cheater. I'd be willing to bet the fiancee is NOT in the know about your dating profile and actively seeking to bang other women. Yeah, I'd bet on it.
Posted: 5/20/2012 5:14:26 AM
|Hey jgibb10. I have a friend exactly like you. He is happily married but he enjoys casual sex. I think the important thing here is to find the right woman and build your relationship around your reality so that you can still have a committed relationship and still get the sex life you need. That's what my friend is doing and it working for him. It sounds like you've done that already so that's probably all I need to say. I know our culture has this weird sexual ethic where we put monogamy on a pedestal and hate talking about sex all while having clothing ads outright selling sex. That's just insane and small-minded. You don't have to buy into that, not if that obviously doesn't work for you. You are a mature adult managing your sexual needs and your responsibility to your wife. Good for you. I wish you the best of luck with you marriage.|
Posted: 5/20/2012 6:12:40 AM
|as long as you don't cheat,that is to say she knows about it, and is OK with it, who cares|
Posted: 5/20/2012 6:34:24 AM
we're open in our relationship. She knows about it.
highly doubtful, since open people who are really open are quick to point out their status/lifestyle. that's why they call it "open". given all the people standing in line who should not get married, you are holding ticket #1.
Posted: 5/20/2012 6:39:48 AM
|You are not the type of person who should contemplate marriage.|
You are going to hurt her ... and that is so selfish of you.
Posted: 5/20/2012 8:06:07 AM
|First case of serious illness ( hepatitis, etc) and there will be no more OPEN relationship|
same if you knock someone else up, as they have DNA testing these days and no man is going to get away
with being a deadbeat. You can be stopped from even getting your drivers license renewed... and they will haunt you till the end of time, even if it's 1.49 a week you owe.
Posted: 5/20/2012 8:20:47 AM
|You are not addicted to sex....|
You are addicted to "the conquests"....
at 27 and with a child, the cure for your addiction is..........grow the hell up.
and yeah.......cut your fiance loose.......she deserves better than you are able to give her.