|
|
|
|
|
| | Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to Page 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | What is it logically, specifically, that makes a Guy, or Man, a "Man", what does it mean specifically to "Man Up, Be a Man, Grow a Pair"? Most people never bother to literally explain all of this, i know the most common things are doing brave, risky things, but i know there is more to it than that, so what else is it that makes a Man a "Man"?
Also, why does life, society, culture, have all of these rules, standards, expectations as to how a "Man" is supposed to be, but not for Girls, Women? You never hear people say to Girls, Women, "Woman Up, Be a Woman", so why has it always been like this?
This is not trolling or self-pity, but still, what is it as to what makes a guy a "Man"? | |
|
| |
| |
| Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to Man Up, Be a Man, Grow a Pair what makes a Man?
Posted: 5/21/2012 9:38:08 PM | What is your cultural background?
Men traditionally have to take risks because when women are pregnant they can't do much really. A lot of woman will not admit it, but during pregnancy they are the most vulnerable.
My cultural background is such that men and women are both taught to be tough mentally and physically. Women are not treated differently from men in my culture. Both my grand parents, and my parents worked, and they both did their share of their chores. With that said, despite both males and females being treated equally in this society, there are differences. Women in my culture as tough as they are, in the end still gravitate to the nurturing side. Men, on the other hand ended up becoming more aggressive to be able to procure resources (food, water, materials).
Being a man is about, being able to be a level headed problem solver, that does what is necessary, and puts wants aside to address the needs for himself or his family.
Now, men being able to talk about their emotions isn't bad. Brandon Marshall is an American football player that says there is a stigma attached to men that want to express their emotions and talk it out. He cited an example of how he was the only guy at group therapy. That is true to a degree.
But, generally men don't talk about their problems, they try to solve their problems. This is where being proactive, and aggressive is about masculinity, or it has always been identified this way. | |
|
| Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 5/21/2012 10:50:39 PM | first of all i think it's scary if someone DOESNT' know what it is but everyone is different.
To man up is to stop being a wimp and stop being a pushover.
There is a guy who is married to a woman that walks all over him, spends his money, doesn't work, doesn't emotionally or physically support him, and is out all the time and treats him like crap. (this was actually in a forum a while back).
Instead of setting her straight, he just tries to do more for her. He leaves her flowers, does her laundry, and even washes her car. Then he says,"man, I'm such a nice guy. Why won't she treat me better".
Well you "man up". You make her respect you, stop being a wuss, and take control of the situation.
You tell her this is crap, and he should stop treating her like a spoiled kim kardashian and then cut her butt off financially and say you need to contribute to this family and to me by getting a career or a job or going to school. We also have to reconnect and spend time together. If you are unwilling to do that then good luck with your new life and you tell her to leave. If she wont, you cut her off financially. You take care of the situation.
THAT'S manning up.
A real man doesn't go by rules; he goes by what is right. These dumb dating and relationship rules are for degrassi high episodes.
A real man gives and gets respect, and he does what is right. And he's not a wuss and doesn't let people walk all over him. I hope that explained it ok.
| |
|
| Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 5/22/2012 1:45:31 AM | Manning up is basically to stop acting like a child. Get your butt up off the couch from playing video games, clean up after yourself and quit acting like you need a momma.
Women DO have an expression (at least here in the south) "Put on your big-girl panties and deal with it" | |
|
| Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 5/22/2012 4:29:15 AM | EXCUSE ME OP????
"You never hear people say to Girls, Women, "Woman Up, Be a Woman""
You aren't paying attention to ANYTHING outside your own head if you think that statement is true. Women get blasted almost CONSTANTLY with demands that they "woman up." Commercially especially, but men too, want women to behave in various ways that are attractive to them, and those all come under the heading of "Act more like a Woman!!!"
So get the miffed inequality business about this out of your head now. It will prevent you from understanding what you are trying to find out about "manliness."
In my experience, there's little difference in a very general way, between telling a man to "man up," and telling a growing child, to become more mature. The core of it is essentially "take 100% responsibility for your own actions, and for finding a way to get what you are after without demanding that everyone around you cater to your laziness or fears." | |
|
| Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 5/22/2012 6:34:31 AM | a man is someone who:
loves his women
provides for his family
takes care of his children
and tries to be honest and good to those around him
This I don't agree with though VVVV
You never hear people say to Girls, Women, "Woman Up, Be a Woman", so why has it always been like this?
Maybe we don't 'hear' those exact words, but it still applies to us women too:
love our men
provide for our families
take care of our children
and be honest and good to those around us.
Just be the best person you can be. | |
|
| Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 5/22/2012 8:31:38 AM | Have you heard the expression: Men are from Mars, Woman are from Venus? The fact is that men and woman are hardwired to think differently. How we ever get together is the real mystery.
I can say with a lot of certainty, woman don't like wimps! That means the expressions you used about manning up has more to do with saying your emotions without falling apart. Woman are inclined to talk in emotion speak, men are not.
In this day and age of equality a lot of the boundaries that define men and woman have been blurred if not totally obliterated. You must check it out with every woman you meet - how they see a man as manly.
As one quality we can all appreciate, honesty is imperative! There is just too much dishonesty in the dating world. | |
|
| Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 5/22/2012 8:48:00 AM | Adults are responcible for their own behavior, it is not gender specific. Women tell other women to grow up every day.
But when you read posts all day long from some guys whining " how can she love him instead of me" you have to wonder where they left their sac. | |
|
| Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 5/22/2012 9:30:33 AM | You've never heard a woman told to 'put on her big girl panties and woman up'? Either you jest, or you have selective hearing!
Every adult is told to man/woman up when they are not pulling thier own weight, get used to it!@ lol | |
|
| Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 5/22/2012 9:45:22 AM | Well, OP....you're only 24 so you are still sort of figuring out who you are as you move along in life. However, when you DO know who you are in any given situation....ANY(as they unfold), "manning up" means being able to be very clear, strong, precise about it and able to say so when someone else takes a crap on your principles/pushes your well-defined boundaries.
Comes down to knowing who you are. You probably have some areas you are well-defined in...get clear about those for yourself....and, then, along the way, acknowledge how little you actually know about women and pursue the discovery-- without generalizations that only prove you don't know. That would be good. :) | |
|
| Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 5/22/2012 3:18:05 PM |
Also, why does life, society, culture, have all of these rules, standards, expectations as to how a "Man" is supposed to be, but not for Girls, Women?
Woah woah woah...
Now, not that I disagree with you about how there are "expectations" for men, but women have them too. Only it's more about how we're NOT supposed to be than it is about how we are supposed to be.
Depending on who you talk to (usually other women, to be fair), women are not supposed to want or initiate sex, especially not on a first date. Also, it's bad if it's the second or 3rd date, apparently. FWBs are considered evil and one is considered a whore for participating in them, according to some... usually other women. A LOT of women can fathom why another woman would not want to marry, or have kids.
Men are far more accepting and/or far less judgemental about how women conduct themselves than other women are.
It seems to me as if everyone's got special ideas about how everyone's supposed to conduct themselves. It's not limited to this "real man" nonsense, trust me.
This is not trolling or self-pity, but still, what is it as to what makes a guy a "Man"?
Generally speaking, the fact that you have a penis is what makes you a man. If you had a vagina, you'd be a woman. I know how stupid it sounds, but it's true. Now.. this penis owning, doesn't make a guy a good or decent man automatically, his personality and morals do that... or don't, however the case may be.
There is no universal ,one size fits all response to this.
There is no answer, as you say it can't be explained. The whole "a real man does/does not..." nonsense is a bull$hit way to either belittle and judge others or to pat one's own back about how THEY are real, yet you may not be since you do not do as they do.
We all endure the inane nonsense, so just ignore it. | |
|
| |
| |
| Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 5/23/2012 1:02:20 AM | | To man up is to take responsibility for yourself, your family, your community and your country. To man up is definitely not to treat women like so much trash to be used and then tossed away, usually pregnant with your name tattooed on her backside. To man up is not to get yourself thrown in jail, fail to pay child support, pretend to be a bad @ss, drink and drive. To man up is now the exception, to not man up is now the rule. You want to see a good example of a man who has manned up? Go to any farm field, they're loaded with farm workers all manning up to support their families. | |
|
| Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 5/23/2012 8:49:00 AM | I use man up to mean don't just complain to me take control of your life, change what you can endure what you must
& I use it for men & women equally
Woman up? Stay young, thin, beautiful, shave everything, work your job, raise your kids, never let standards slip, be a domestic godess in the kitchen & a sex kitten in the bedroom
Haha no pressure | |
|
| Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 5/23/2012 10:51:54 AM | | In perusing profiles, I can't help but notice those with the most "baggage" often have the phrase, "Looking for a REAL man" for a headline. You click to explore within and usually find they have 4 kids, divorced twice, etc. Yeah, that WILL take a "real man" to take on. I just kinda shake my head. Is that what a "real woman" is? Obviously, reality and what is "real" is highly subjective. | |
|
| |
| Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 5/23/2012 5:35:56 PM | | I'm sure some people will disagree especially given how young I am, but given the question I will give an answer that I was told by my dad, who was told by his dad and so on, and I personally believe this IS the answer to what a man is; "A man accepts consequences, and lives up to responsibility." Whether he's out living a productive life, bar hopping, or even playing video games during his free time, it all comes down to responsibility, which is relative to each individual person. I guess the same answer could be used for what makes a woman a woman. | |
|
| Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 5/23/2012 5:41:57 PM |
I will give an answer that I was told by my dad, who was told by his dad and so on, and I personally believe this IS the answer to what a man is; "A man accepts consequences, and lives up to responsibility."
The men in your family are entirely correct with that statement. | |
|
| Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 5/28/2012 2:11:13 PM | | and why is taking responsibility for your life more expected in men than in women? shouldn't it be an adult thing? why is it far more important for men to do it than women do it? who or what made those "unwritten" rules? Because yes, it gets very frustrating, annoying, on how life, society, culture, expect us guys to "Toughen" it up all the damn time, we get criticized for showing any form of weakness. | |
|
| Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to Man Up, Be a Man, Grow a Pair what makes a Man?
Posted: 5/28/2012 2:52:45 PM | Popcultureguy... in your opinion, what is a man? What do you think it means to be a man?
Would you consider yourself a man? Why or why not?
In terms of what you are talking about, "Being a man" is going to be different for a lot of people. One persons definition of "A man" may differ from someone elses."
and why is taking responsibility for your life more expected in men than in women? shouldn't it be an adult thing? why is it far more important for men to do it than women do it? who or what made those "unwritten" rules? Because yes, it gets very frustrating, annoying, on how life, society, culture, expect us guys to "Toughen" it up all the damn time, we get criticized for showing any form of weakness Women take responsibility for their life just as much as men. Women work. They have jobs. Women wake up at the crack of dawn to take care of their children when they need to be changed or fed at 3:00 AM in the morning. WOMEN DO THIS. This is called responsibility. Women are not exempt from it just because they are women.
I can tell that you want to blame your women problems on everything else except yourself. That, to me, is not being a man. You aren't taking responsibilities for your insecurities and fixing them. Instead, you look to point your finger at other things. In my opinion, "Manning up" would be to look at yourself, realize that you want to make changes, and then make them. | |
|
| Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 5/28/2012 3:35:42 PM |
and why is taking responsibility for your life more expected in men than in women?
I beg your pardon? I was raised to be responsible. I personally don't know any woman that wasn't. I have met women that aren't, but that is more the exception than the rule.
why is it far more important for men to do it than women do it?
Who says it is far more important for men than women? That's not what I am seeing. Now if you are talking about what you read in the forums then it could just appear that way based on the threads you are looking at.
we get criticized for showing any form of weakness.
This is more of a male thing. Women would love for you to be able to share your feelings more, however many men won't. For example my ex would get angry if I saw him cry during a sad movie. The opposite of this are the men that cry more than any woman I know. That can be disturbing. The same man that would get angry if I saw him cry during a sad movie would cry to try to get his own way and this was over really silly things like which restaurant we would go out to dinner at. | |
|
| Since guys are annoyingly told all the time to
Posted: 5/28/2012 4:11:13 PM | | Women have pressure to be a certain way, who are you kidding!! Woman up means, get big boobs if you dont have them, be available for sex whenever or you are gone, must remain slim and look beautiful all the time, be happy to serve up meals and have your children, if that is what is wanted. Men do have to separate from their mothers in a way that a woman never has to and some make it and some dont. | |
|
|
|
Home
login 
