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 christianmom
Joined: 7/26/2005
Msg: 1
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kidsPage 1 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
I just came out of a harsh relationship after 15 years, and a deep fear is that any man would be terrified of dating someone with three kids who is 37. Would men actually date someone with that much baggage?
 seriouslyfunnylady
Joined: 5/10/2005
Msg: 2
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Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 7/27/2005 12:50:03 PM
Cracking up here, my sister had 7 children, met a man with 3 kids, when they married, her youngest was 1 1/2 yrs old, and her oldest was 13 1/2.

Yes it does happen, they were married for over 25 years and would still be married if my sister hadn't passed away.
 christianmom
Joined: 7/26/2005
Msg: 3
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 7/27/2005 12:50:54 PM
wow, ok, I am just freaking out, that is all.
 *Em*
Joined: 6/29/2005
Msg: 4
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 7/27/2005 1:17:23 PM
im single with 4 kids and im 30. (my youngest is only a baby)
there are some amazing guys out there hunni. men with kids and men without..and your kids are certainly not baggage.
 RICHNGLORY
Joined: 7/13/2005
Msg: 5
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 7/27/2005 1:29:23 PM
U r a beautiful woman, physically as far as i can see, I've had that fear also. I have 5 kids ranging from 3 to 20 years old and I never thought a man in his right mind would date a woman with an already made family. Boy was I wrong!!!
Some men shy away from the sheer thought of an alreardy made family, then there are others who love the responsibility of it. I believe it all depends on the woman. If you r looking for a mate, cool, but if you r looking for someone who will take care of you and your babies, men flee sometimes. They dont realize that loving us means loving our kids as well. Its inevitable, once they go in but always give them the option to choose. I never introduce my family the 1st few dates.
I always let the person get to know me. Let them see my independence,goals and accomplishments, then I introduce the family. That way we have built a good rapport and some stability in our friendship. Besides if he's a jerk, I dont want my kids getting involved. Kids tend to take a smile as friendly and they quickly get attached. So overall its best for everyone. Men love families, we provide families for them. Most men embrace the responsibility of helping the woman they love raise and rear their children, especially if they plan on being around for a while. Good Luck!
 Mtknight
Joined: 7/10/2005
Msg: 6
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Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 7/27/2005 3:09:16 PM
If she wants to date a man with 5 kids I'm game. seriously tho I realy wouldn't have a problem with dating a woman with three kids

Don
 aunt_gicky
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 7
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 7/27/2005 4:18:59 PM
I have three kids..wonderful kids at that and I do know of a few men that have been interested in me even with my kids. I dated one guy that had 4 of his own and let me tell you it was fun on birthdays. You have to not worry about if they will want you and think on making your kids happy and you happy first, after that the men will see that and will line up at the door to be with you. Your kids are certainly not even close to baggage, they need to be looked at like gifts.

One last thing, if a man runs because of your kids or the fear of a ready made family then he wasnt worth the agravation in the first place.
 Amzy
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 8
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 7/27/2005 6:51:06 PM
If the woman was interesting and interested, I'd seriously date her. Now...some men won't. Maybe I am biased because I have kids?

I'd actually go so far as saying a woman who already has kids has a certain appeal already, she has more life experience with her, and is more likely to know what she wants for herself.
 GamesNoMore
Joined: 7/16/2005
Msg: 9
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Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 7/27/2005 7:07:39 PM
Auntgicky


Just wanted to thank you for that last line.... Lost my boyfriend recently of a long time who was really good to me...but didn't want to wake up married with 3 kids again someday... was married before to a woman with three...

I'll be remembering that he is not worth my aggravation! AGGH! Men can be IDIOTS!

Thanks hon. I'll be repeating that to myself everytime I start to cry over him again (for the millionth time!)


~S~
 Lyndee
Joined: 7/26/2005
Msg: 10
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 7/27/2005 8:50:36 PM
*breathes a huge sigh of relief*

You guys have no idea how often i've asked myself this exact question recently. :) It was only today that I told my co-workers, "Yes I'm still young, but I have 3 kids, what man in his right mind wouldn't run scared?" LOL! It's refreshing to hear that there are men out there who would be willing to embrace the fact I have children rather than see it as a detriment.

Hugs to all!
 w82b
Joined: 5/9/2005
Msg: 11
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 7/27/2005 9:27:43 PM
In my opinion, women shouldn't judge a man for leaving. I don't believe the issue is about you having three kids as much as it is an issue of him being prepared for that type of relationship... it's not about you. It's about him.

A man can fall in love with a woman regardless of the fact that she have 1 child or 100 children. You, as a wonderful woman, can be the perfect match for a man. However, it may be a situation where a man, not being in that situation before, puts forth an earnest effort involving himself with your family because he truly loves you and wants to be with you. If he later discovers that he is not cut out for that environment, wouldn't you want the truth to be told to you?

I think it needs to be said that men are judged and criticised unfairly for ending this type relationship. I hope that you would prefer he leave if unable to adapt to the changes presented. Just keep in mind that loving you with all his heart doesn't mean that he can adapt to changes. He may have loved you more than anyone else and honestly felt he could adapt, only to discover he couldn't. Is that so bad?

In many cases, men aren't honest about their feelings in this matter because they get labelled and trounced on.

Your kids are part of the gift you offer him... never think differently.

I am speaking from experience.
 beavertailgg
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 12
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 7/28/2005 3:36:52 AM
I have two of my own already and I dont think that would deter me from dating a woman with three of her own if the attraction was there...might be a little interesting on outings and stuff but thats nothing a minivan couldnt cure lol
 jennifer j
Joined: 10/15/2004
Msg: 13
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 7/28/2005 4:59:30 AM
who cares if they won't it's their loss
 DOWNSOUTH
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 14
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 7/28/2005 7:58:20 AM
Well for me i have no problem with a lady with kids,1 or 3 kids.
I have a child too so she would have too accept my child too,it go's both way.
If you love someone who cares,and you can't hold this against a lady,after all most of the time the kids end up with the mother while the male is free too do what ever he likes.
If the man were to have the kids,and the lady was free too do what ever she wanted too the tables would be turned.I do feel for the lady with the kids,it go's too show how strong a lady truly is.
 erotic_play4u
Joined: 8/1/2004
Msg: 15
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 7/28/2005 8:07:52 AM
"I LIKE KID'S BUT I CANNOT EAT A WHOLE ONE "

lol too funny.

I have 3 also, just got out of a 3 yr relationship and my question is would a man with NO kids of his own date a woman with 3???
 secondbestdad
Joined: 12/26/2004
Msg: 16
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 7/28/2005 8:12:11 AM
You know, I would assume most guys would be scared off by baggage of a past relationship, not the kids. If you're just getting out of a "harsh relationship" after so long, then you need time to heal from all the hurt and pain and anger.
 Plaws
Joined: 7/26/2005
Msg: 17
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Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 7/28/2005 8:23:48 AM
oh yes,i have a good friend ,we met just after i came to canada in 81,he met a lady three years ago after moving to a new town,when he first met her he said she was amazzing ,they had so much fun,laughing and teasing each other,he had talked to me ,he has no kids and she has five,they are still together ,and we laugh when his g/f was at work the kids would call him and ask him to come over to help with their homwork,there is some good men out there and to my buddy i can only wish him the happiness he deserve,so yes three kids is three times the fun for by buddy its five.
 Dream_walker223
Joined: 7/10/2005
Msg: 18
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 7/28/2005 8:38:36 AM
This thread has been very uplifting, and has renewed my faith, I know I only have 1, but I still thought it would be either impossible or darn right challenging to find someone who is accepting or the whole "package" deal...LOL, thanks for restoring my faith fellow PoF's!!! I'm always up for a Challenge
 News Junkie
Joined: 7/17/2005
Msg: 19
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 7/28/2005 9:08:28 AM
I have three as well and I think so far it has been no problem. What I get from some guys is the fear of you either looking for a deep wallet [who wouldn't be scared of that] or that you are looking for a daddy for them. Luckily I can take care of myself and my kids financially and they have an awesome dad who is fully a father. If those issues are out of the picture, and especially if he has kids of his own [be careful you don't become a sub mommy though...we have enough on our plates] then you will do just fine. Good luck. :)
 mycorosso
Joined: 1/11/2005
Msg: 20
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 7/28/2005 2:21:46 PM
Sure...Someone is dating/living with my kids mom right now. I have three with her. She's 40. Don't worry just be confident. Afterall you do have kids and are/where capable of love. I love women with children it makes for a commonality. Very important one.
 LilDevil80
Joined: 3/12/2005
Msg: 21
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Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 7/28/2005 3:42:01 PM
When I was 22, i dated a girl who was 24 and had 3 kids, It didnt work out but we are still friends.
 CrystalLinda
Joined: 7/13/2005
Msg: 22
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Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 7/28/2005 4:05:40 PM
Kids are not baggage and you should not think of them that way. If a guy does not think of my kid as an asset rather than a liability, I kick him to the curb!
 pinballdoctor
Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 23
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 7/28/2005 4:44:05 PM
The "right" man wouldn't care how many kids you have...wouldn't scare him either...
 RogerM1
Joined: 6/1/2005
Msg: 24
Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids
Posted: 7/28/2005 7:01:01 PM
Yes , i have and might again if the right person comes along, I believe men love stronger than woman once you have them but its you who needs to ensure your mate that the kids are as important as he is .
 HELLBENDER
Joined: 9/17/2004
Msg: 25
heres a mans point of view
Posted: 7/28/2005 9:01:20 PM
kids arent the problem its the mothers! you want us to be a father then you dont, we get attached to them then you break up with us, kids can be brats but heaven forbid we ever tell you that or try to correct it in an appropriate way even. and as far as the reverse women dont really seem to be interested in guys with kids they respect it but appearently its not a dating quality
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