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 greenIsis777
Joined: 3/14/2012
Msg: 1
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Do most men sleep with multiple women at the same time before agreeing to be exclusive?Page 1 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
I have been reading and researching a lot on this topic, and what I keep hearing over and over is that yes, the majority of men will sleep with multiple women until agreeing to be exclusive. I'm not sure I believe that. I would appreciate viewpoints and/or experiences about this from both sexes.

Also, guys, should a woman tell you upfront that she is not into sleeping with multiple partners? how do you feel about that?
 VADERPRIME
Joined: 1/16/2012
Msg: 2
Do most men sleep with multiple women at the same time before agreeing to be exclusive?
Posted: 6/1/2012 3:51:12 AM
These men you are hearing about... are playas and dawgs...I think men are just like us.. when they find something that feels good.. mentally and physically... they stay.
..Now...18-27ish.. yeah.. they are mostly told to not be exclusive and date around..
 thepigofyourdreams
Joined: 2/23/2012
Msg: 3
Do most men sleep with multiple women at the same time before agreeing to be exclusive?
Posted: 6/1/2012 4:05:55 AM
I think the best thing to do is invite 12 of the best prospects at a given time to your home, then sample each one individually. Naturally, the best one wins, and the rest are sent home with a lovely consolation prize. A lifetime supply of Ramen noodles.
 SC67
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 4
Do most men sleep with multiple women at the same time before agreeing to be exclusive?
Posted: 6/1/2012 4:11:51 AM
lol...men are not the only ones who do this! Many women do it too. I have a friend who claims she loves a man who won't be exclusive with her. That doesn't mean she doesn't date (& sleep with) several other guys. I suspect her other guys are seeing other women & those women are seeing other guys.

eh....which explains why I don't date a lot these days.
 kingslayer64
Joined: 5/20/2012
Msg: 5
Do most men sleep with multiple women at the same time before agreeing to be exclusive?
Posted: 6/1/2012 5:24:27 AM
" Do most men sleep with multiple women at the same time before agreeing to be exclusive?'

Wow sure if we all could we would right ? LOL..

Its called shopping ,test driving , comparative mate selection,and much more .. But if women do it they are sluts ..

Sorry don't hate the messenger LOL..
 kingslayer64
Joined: 5/20/2012
Msg: 6
Do most men sleep with multiple women at the same time before agreeing to be exclusive?
Posted: 6/1/2012 5:27:28 AM
SC67:

" lol...men are not the only ones who do this! Many women do it too. I have a friend who claims she loves a man who won't be exclusive with her. That doesn't mean she doesn't date (& sleep with) several other guys. I suspect her other guys are seeing other women & those women are seeing other guys.

eh....which explains why I don't date a lot these days."

Why ? Arent you a capitalist risk taker like everyone else ? And of course this woman loves the guy who wont be exclusive ..Gotta love what you cant have ..LOL
 TC2u
Joined: 6/22/2011
Msg: 7
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Do most men sleep with multiple women at the same time before agreeing to be exclusive?
Posted: 6/1/2012 5:30:34 AM
STDs are enough to keep me as celibate as possible. Still a man.
Same would apply to a woman. If I think she has multiple partners, I'm done.
 Acehonestlady
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 8
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Do most men sleep with multiple women at the same time before agreeing to be exclusive?
Posted: 6/1/2012 5:50:49 AM
lol...men are not the only ones who do this! Many women do it too. I have a friend who claims she loves a man who won't be exclusive with her. That doesn't mean she doesn't date (& sleep with) several other guys. I suspect her other guys are seeing other women & those women are seeing other guys.


Women sure do - I'm one of them! In fact another FWB woman of one of the FWB man I am currently seeing wanted to watch us have sex - then I would have watched them! Though although she requested it 'she' chickened out on the day!

As long as we are happy with it, are honest and play safe (including putting a condon on strap-on dildos to stop bateria hiding in the tiny invisable holes of certin materials), what's the big deal?!!!

I am possibley in love with a man that I am no longer seeing from last year but I never got a clear answer from him if he wanted an exclusive or non-exclusive thing, so whilst I was seeing him and not knowing I was going on dates with other men but not having sex with them as I didn't want to hurt him if it turned out he wasn't seeing and having sex with other women. So now I'm just doing the non-exclusive thing. If I meet Mr Right and he says he wants exclusive then I do so. But I'm not looking for Mr Right just yet. (if there is such a thing).
 MacInOC
Joined: 2/19/2012
Msg: 9
Do most men sleep with multiple women at the same time before agreeing to be exclusive?
Posted: 6/1/2012 6:01:35 AM
Do most men sleep with multiple women at the same time before agreeing to be exclusive?


Sorry, I have no idea what most men do. Some may, others not. Those who can, do. So don't worry yourself over a person's past.

The best advice is something you said: "agree to be exclusive". If you find one man you like, be aggressive and take him. Date quickly, ask him to be exclusive and if yes, jump his bones, then verify and keep him exclusive. Pretty simple really.

[If you are worried about STD's, practice safe sex and learn how to do a cursory check. Get your man naked with the lights on, check for obvious external clues, "milk" him when he first gets erect and check for discolored (non semen) discharge, .... Sounds weird, but most men will love the attention (maybe throw in a complement or two). Again, this is not 100%, but better than nothing (which is what most women do). Oh and this goes for men checking women - although women certainly do like the insinuation of what you're doing or even the lights on.]
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 10
Do most men sleep with multiple women at the same time before agreeing to be exclusive?
Posted: 6/1/2012 6:24:32 AM
I think most, myself included are much more conservative that the ones who have "multiple" partners, how ever I do suspect there are some folks who have a partner, but are dis-satisfied for whatever reason, & then have an affair behind the other person's back...sometimes, I think it is JUSTIFIED, other times, not...

like in the forums, we see posts about multiple partners, cheaters, swingers players etc...but how many threads are started on the ones who are conservative? Plus some of us may be perceived to be "looser" than we are...

I never did the one niter stuff, everything basically was a "boyfriend"...to me it is too risky & embarrassing to find a stranger, assess whether they r "trustworthy" & disease free, then decide on a safe location, get "naked" in front of them & see if we r sexually compatible...sometimes it takes a few times for you to learn eachothers sexual quirks & for the sex to be really good, other times it happens the 1st time...if u keep switching partners to me that is sooo stressful, I'd rather stay home & watch TV w/ a cat on my lap.

There was a time where I was going to try to find a FWB, but it just did not feel right, I chickened out to even meet anyone for that & that was a while ago...

I like being 53 & being governed by my rational thoughts rather than unbridled lust & emotions running wild- which all result in disasters! I do not care if others engage in recreational sex, more power to them, it is just not in my emotional makeup...the man has to feel SPECIAL to me for me to want to even have more than a cup of coffee w/ him...I only like all of the la la la that comes afterwards from someone that we r in a relationship w/ eachother & mean something to eachother...

In my age category,I think most men r decent men, some have been hurt, some have made mistakes, some have learned & some are healing...we all carry some baggage, but at some point we need to leave it in the baggage check room ;0)
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 11
Do most men sleep with multiple women at the same time before agreeing to be exclusive?
Posted: 6/1/2012 7:07:49 AM
OP, Like most questions, it makes no real sense and can be answered truefully in many ways depending on the impression I care to make.

So if I sleep with a women on May 25 in 2009, then another on May 25 2012, is that multiple partners?
So if I sleep with a women on May 25 in 2012, then another on May 26 2012, is that multiple partners?

You need to put in a time element, how long between partners, and do I flip back and forth between the same multiple partners? After a while, you will sound more like a lawyer.

I ask a lot of questions when I really want to know what people mean, some people have told me I do sound like a prosecutor.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 12
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Do most men sleep with multiple women at the same time before agreeing to be exclusive?
Posted: 6/1/2012 7:09:43 AM
I don't look at sex as a promise of exclusivity, as an independent thinking adult I decide when to become intimate and usually that does not lead to yolked for life.
If you want a promise prior to intimacy then that is your choice, you need to do what you feel comfortable with, and if a certain man does not fit your needs then move on. No one can play you if you set the rules of the game.
 smarternudumbernmost
Joined: 5/25/2012
Msg: 13
Do most men sleep with multiple women at the same time before agreeing to be exclusive?
Posted: 6/1/2012 7:11:49 AM

I have been reading and researching a lot on this topic, and what I keep hearing over and over is that yes, the majority of men will sleep with multiple women until agreeing to be exclusive.

I am not sure I understand what you mean.

Do you mean a guy and girl are dating, they're seeing only each other, but then the relationship starts getting to some point of exclusivity where they've not really discussed it or communicated their exclusivity desires but they feel it is eminent so the guy goes out and sleeps with a bunch of women?

Or do you mean she/he says something like they need to think about becoming exclusive, or asks for exclusivity, but before they actually agree to it, he goes out and sleeps with a bunch of women to "get it out of his system" before he commits?

Or do you mean he is sleeping with a bunch of different women while he's dating her and he's morally okay with that as long as he hasn't verbally, directly, concretely, (legally?) notified her of his commitment?

And what do you mean by a multitude of women? Like a fwb he didn't get rid of before beginning dating? Multiple fwb's? Random strangers out of bars, off craigslist, POF, or other websites, at work?
Do you mean until he says something committal he's having 3 ways every night?


should a woman tell you upfront that she is not into sleeping with multiple partners?

Do you mean so he won't ask her to join into swinging, orgies, 3 ways with her sister or best friend, the idea that if he sleeps with multiple partners it's the same as her sleeping with multiple partners if she sleeps with him, or to communicate that she isn't sleeping with anyone else?


how do you feel about that?

I feel the type or aspects of personality and perspective I am attracted to, appreciate, respect, and understand makes the question moot.
Or IOW I don't date dirt bags. This issue hasn't come up in my dating life since I was in college around 20.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 14
Do most men sleep with multiple women at the same time before agreeing to be exclusive?
Posted: 6/1/2012 7:27:34 AM

Do most men sleep with multiple women at the same time before agreeing to be exclusive?


Well F*CK me sideways, what the HELL?
What the Hell is this website, the sexist convention?
What, most men are pigs, is that the line? Are so many of the ladies on here so bitter as to start a freakin thread about men every 2 seconds? How come these threads don't get reported as polarised topic?

To the OP, there's a freakin ask a guy section where you can go on rants about how horribly dirty men are for sleeping with 3 women at the same time. ALL OF US. I know I usually bang 4 chicks a night before going back to my girlfriend...............................

Jesus.............................
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 15
Do most men sleep with multiple women at the same time before agreeing to be exclusive?
Posted: 6/1/2012 8:51:50 AM
I would imagine many women have had a variety of partners in thier lives prior to settling down with one guy as well.

If you are talking about a guy having a three way with two hot women just prior to being exclusive - like some right of passage - then I would have to say that many men would say only in thier dreams.
 Acki-na
Joined: 4/5/2012
Msg: 16
Do most men sleep with multiple women at the same time before agreeing to be exclusive?
Posted: 6/1/2012 9:36:28 AM
I will not be exclusive until we have the "exclusive talk". Until then, Im open about it, Im a free agent and so are the men I see/sleep with. If I am not exclusive, I don't expect the person to be exclusive with me. You can date for several weeks before finding out the relation won't work. I am not made of wood and life is too short.

But, when we both agree to be exclusive, then, its another game. From now on, any addition of partners will be considered cheating. And I don't deal with/ accept/forgive cheaters.

It all depends on your expectations.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 17
Do most men sleep with multiple women at the same time before agreeing to be exclusive?
Posted: 6/1/2012 9:51:50 AM
Call me old fashionned, but I'm a "one at a time" type of guy. I don't date/see multiple girls at the same time. If my fancy takes me to a girl, unto her I shall stick, and wait it out. If she wants to have sex in 15 minutes, go. If she wants to have sex in 15 weeks, go. I'm just not the shop around and sleep with as many people as I can, I prefer quality over quantity. Anything else, to me, feels like cheating, even though it's not physical, it's mental. And like my fellow compatriote Mrs Na up there, I have ZERO tolerance for liars, cheaters, player-ettes and banger-ettes. If I find out you cheated I will chew you up, spit you out and take pictures for posterity LOL.

Well, that and I'm pretty difficult LOL. I should probably lower my standards, but........NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
 nubeginnings64
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 18
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Do most men sleep with multiple women at the same time before agreeing to be exclusive?
Posted: 6/1/2012 9:55:39 AM
I've never ever had multiple sex partners my whole life. There's a huge misconception to some of what dating means. Dating to me is getting to know on non sexual basis but to some it means sleeping around. Although I may date a few women at a time, I don't discuss or acknowledge it one way or the other. Besides their hurt feelings, I'd be put off having to defend myself against their assumptions, which there is no defense of. And exclusivity upon intimacy is discussed long before anything physical begins. The question makes me wonder if Id been doing things wrong all theses years.
 Iona_Bob
Joined: 3/31/2012
Msg: 19
Do most men sleep with multiple women at the same time before agreeing to be exclusive?
Posted: 6/1/2012 10:24:21 AM

I have been reading and researching a lot on this topic, and what I keep hearing over and over is that yes, the majority of men will sleep with multiple women until agreeing to be exclusive. I'm not sure I believe that. I would appreciate viewpoints and/or experiences about this from both sexes.


Why does it matter what "the majority of men" do?

It is YOUR responsibility to get to know YOUR guy well enough BEFORE you sleep together to ensure you are on the same page.
 AspenJack
Joined: 4/17/2012
Msg: 20
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Do most men sleep with multiple women at the same time before agreeing to be exclusive?
Posted: 6/1/2012 10:29:15 AM

I have been reading and researching a lot on this topic,

“Research implies you have some documentation. I see absolutely none.

… they (men) are mostly told to not be exclusive and date around..

Who is telling them?

You don’t really mean this to be a serious discussion, do you?
 greenIsis777
Joined: 3/14/2012
Msg: 21
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Do most men sleep with multiple women at the same time before agreeing to be exclusive?
Posted: 6/1/2012 11:08:14 AM

I do not care if others engage in recreational sex, more power to them, it is just not in my emotional makeup...the man has to feel SPECIAL to me for me to want to even have more than a cup of coffee w/ him...


I hear you. It's fine for other people, but not for me. I can't really separate sex and emotions, and least not with someone that I really like
 greenIsis777
Joined: 3/14/2012
Msg: 22
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Do most men sleep with multiple women at the same time before agreeing to be exclusive?
Posted: 6/1/2012 11:15:07 AM

Like most questions, it makes no real sense and can be answered truefully in many ways depending on the impression I care to make.

So if I sleep with a women on May 25 in 2009, then another on May 25 2012, is that multiple partners?
So if I sleep with a women on May 25 in 2012, then another on May 26 2012, is that multiple partners?


what I mean is sleeping with more than one woman at the same time during the dating process.
my question is more 'do guys focus on a girl they really like and have sex with her only, even before any talk of exclusivity, or do they date and sleep with other women as a general rule before becoming exclusive?'

I tried to edit my posted question but it is not giving me the option to edit now
 Try2Ku
Joined: 5/28/2012
Msg: 23
Do most men sleep with multiple women at the same time before agreeing to be exclusive?
Posted: 6/1/2012 11:17:50 AM
Yes, quite a few do actually the feeling for them is well I have the right to shop around but if a woman does it she's well you know. The love to be exclusive but refuse the same curtsy are the most selfish of men. Clues are obvious too - one guy I dated asked to use his rest room : hint more well different types of soaps mostly feminine in line -eh, yeah his place has had quite a few sleep overs , time text messages on a date - hint ladies never give an pic for well you adding to contact some guys need help tracking there women didn't with one guy and he sent me 6 messages by mistake all meant for different women and one to a cousin to inform him he was with samantha - lol not my name.
 greenIsis777
Joined: 3/14/2012
Msg: 24
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Do most men sleep with multiple women at the same time before agreeing to be exclusive?
Posted: 6/1/2012 11:27:17 AM

Do you mean a guy and girl are dating, they're seeing only each other, but then the relationship starts getting to some point of exclusivity where they've not really discussed it or communicated their exclusivity desires but they feel it is eminent so the guy goes out and sleeps with a bunch of women?


I'm saying you've seen this person a few times and you don't know whether they are dating around (which may include sex or may not).


Or do you mean he is sleeping with a bunch of different women while he's dating her and he's morally okay with that as long as he hasn't verbally, directly, concretely, (legally?) notified her of his commitment?


yes. except she doesn't know if he is or not. say if you have seen a guy a few times and you have slept together. then he has another date next week and sleeps with her, while still dating both women. there has been no talk of exclusivity. I kind of want to know how to bring up the fact that I am not comfortable with that - without him freaking out

I don't necessarily think that people (men and women) who date and sleep with more than one person at once is a bad thing, it is just not for me
 greenIsis777
Joined: 3/14/2012
Msg: 25
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Do most men sleep with multiple women at the same time before agreeing to be exclusive?
Posted: 6/1/2012 11:33:19 AM

Well F*CK me sideways, what the HELL?
What the Hell is this website, the sexist convention?
What, most men are pigs, is that the line? Are so many of the ladies on here so bitter as to start a freakin thread about men every 2 seconds? How come these threads don't get reported as polarised topic?


actually I respect men and am anything but sexist. I am not bitter about this either. I have nothing against men and women that date around and sleep with more than one person at a time while dating. It is just not for me
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