| | I feel awkward, she's bringing her brother to a date...what to doPage 1 of 2 (1, 2) | | I met a girl in a bar and we had pretty good conversation for about 30 min or so. We exchanged phone numbers and 2 days later we went out on a date. My assumption of the date was that it went well. We went walking along the river channel that runs through our city, had some drinks and chose a place to have a light dinner. It was a bit long (3 hrs) but she asked me if I wanted ice cream after dinner....so I agreed and we went and had ice cream. This was pretty much the end of our date. We walked a bit more and I managed to slip in the "let's hang out at my place and watch a movie" line. However she declined. I continued on conversation as nothing had happened and we soon parted. Before the parting I leaned over and hugged her and kissed her on the cheek. A couple days later I called her to set up a date. She agreed, however she canceled the same day of the date saying she really had an emergency situation at work. I said ok, how about tomorrow? Again, she responded with "well I'm not sure how my schedule is tomorrow either". So I told her that I'd call her to reschedule another time. Four days later I call and leave a voicemail and ask her to go on a date. She does not return my phone call. Assuming I've totally bombed it, I decide to send her a text asking her "at what point she became disinterested in me". I was really curious at this point since I thought everything was going well on my end. She responded by saying that she actually has not lost interest in me but she's been really busy with her brother being in town for 3 weeks. I jokingly responded by saying that if she's still interested then she has a lot of making up to do. Two days later she calls and asks me how I'm doing and again says she's been busy with her brother (and we get to talking about what he's doing in town etc..). Finally, I ask her if she wants to do something tomorrow. We agreed to go to a tea place. Then she nervously dropped the line "would you like to meet my brother". I was caught off guard. Why is she asking me this? Does she really not want to leave him alone in the house for a couple hours? I doubt that's the case. Does she not feel safe with me? Not sure what to do. I feel like that's more of a friendship sort of thing to do? Not sure where she's going with it. What do you guys think? | |
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| I feel awkward, she's bringing her brother to a date...what to do
Posted: 6/2/2012 10:04:11 AM | hmmmmm..... hanging out with someone I just meet or hanging out with my family who probably came to town to see ME.... family wins... you will be in town when her brother goes home....
why can't her brother come to dinner with you??? I don't get the big deal.... meeting someones family is usually an indication that someone likes you... and wants to see if you pass the family test.... | |
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| I feel awkward, she's bringing her brother to a date...what to do
Posted: 6/2/2012 10:22:48 AM | You blew it with the "lets hang out at my place and watch a movie" You even said yourself it was a "line" so you really meant "come back to my place and have sex"
She probably doesn't feel comfortable meeting you alone which was why she "nervously" asked to bring her brother. | |
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| I feel awkward, she's bringing her brother to a date...what to do
Posted: 6/2/2012 10:27:36 AM | | Guys, why do you automatically assume that the line "let's go back to my place and watch a movie" is synonymous to asking me for sex. That's a bit over judgmental if you ask me. It was not my intention to have sex with her even if she did agree to come over to my place. I don't have sex on first dates. My intention was to get close to her, kiss and get her to be comfortable with me. No sex. | |
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| I feel awkward, she's bringing her brother to a date...what to do
Posted: 6/2/2012 10:30:17 AM |
who knows maybe you'll fall in love with the brother. Keep an open mind.
op you are acting like a horny teen who's trying to sleep with a cheerleader. What's with the lines? Your first date and you want to take her home with you? you dont think that's lame.
I think you were more aggressive than you are saying and you are acting like most men. Moving way too fast too soon and you act like you just want sex.
Of course she feels uncomfortable. | |
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| I feel awkward, she's bringing her brother to a date...what to do
Posted: 6/2/2012 10:55:34 AM | | I think she's either a) afraid you're going to try to get in her pants right away so she's bringing her brother, b) is bringing her brother because she wants to put you in the friendzone, or c) she wants her brother to evaluate you and tell her what she thinks of you - which sounds kind of weird but could be possible. I think you should still go out with her even if the brother comes. Time will tell if she actually is interested. | |
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| I feel awkward, she's bringing her brother to a date...what to do
Posted: 6/2/2012 2:29:53 PM | Me, I think perhaps maybe she asked about hanging out with her brother to prove to you that see? Indeed she's been busy with her brother and haven't been blowing you off like you thought (hence the text 'when did you become uninterested') and because you've been insistent on still seeing her, her solution, as to not put you on the back burner completely, and not to shrug off her brother, was for all of you to hang out.
I think she likes you a lot.
I am very big on my family, and it's required that my significant other gets along with my family as well.
See, if I'm introducing you to my family, that means I like you a lot. If you can get along with them, then we have some real potential! | |
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| I feel awkward, she's bringing her brother to a date...what to do
Posted: 6/2/2012 2:49:21 PM | If you take along a small bottle of nail polish remover, that should dissolve the glue that she's obviously bound at the hip to her brother with.
He's in town for 3 freaking weeks, she can't leave his side for a couple of hours to see you?
Ohhhh, you asked her up to your place, so that means you are probably a sex-crazed rapist who can't wait to avenge her of her virtue should she spend time with you again. She's too delicate to just say no, so she has to bring her bodyguard with her to preserve the sanctity of her virginosity. | |
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| I feel awkward, she's bringing her brother to a date...what to do
Posted: 6/2/2012 2:57:18 PM | She agreed, however she canceled the same day of the date saying she really had an emergency situation at work. I said ok, how about tomorrow? Again, she responded with "well I'm not sure how my schedule is tomorrow either". So I told her that I'd call her to reschedule another time. Four days later I call and leave a voicemail and ask her to go on a date. She does not return my phone call
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These whole sentences says it all. She's blowing you off. She's done, I wouldn't even bother further talking to her let alone setup another date.
I had one lady did this crap to me too a few weeks ago. I ask out a lady that wants to go out with me and we both agree on it and flops out on the day of the date and does not plan to reschedule. Texted her for a reschedule, no response = Instant blow off. So I ask out another lady that wants to go out with me and we agree but the difference is this lady does NOT FLOP OUT and meets up with me. She and my friends meet up and have an awesome time together. As I come home I get a text from the lady who flopped out on me saying that she heard from one of my friends that I took another woman out with them and she's pissed about it. I'm like yes I did take another woman out because you flopped, why are you so concerned about now? you made it clear by not responding to my text for a reschedule that you didn't want to go out with me so I went out someone else that wanted to. What's the problem?
Moral of the message, if you're going to play games, stay single.
OP Personally I wouldn't bother. But because she wants to bring her brother, go out and hang with them. After that then tell her that you would prefer to have exclusive dates with her without inviting anyone. | |
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| I feel awkward, she's bringing her brother to a date...what to do
Posted: 6/2/2012 3:02:58 PM |
What do you guys think?
I think you should tell her you are going to wait until her brother leaves.
Because you don't want to interfere in their family time.
And then wait for however long it takes for her brother to go back whence he came, then ask her out.
Or not. | |
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| I feel awkward, she's bringing her brother to a date...what to do
Posted: 6/2/2012 3:20:06 PM |
hmmmmm..... hanging out with someone I just meet or hanging out with my family who probably came to town to see ME.... family wins... you will be in town when her brother goes home....
I could understand this viewpoint if he was in town just for a weekend or even a week. But he is town for 3 weeks. I'm sure there are other people the brother could see and hang out with while the OP is on a date with this woman for a couple of hours. | |
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| I feel awkward, she's bringing her brother to a date...what to do
Posted: 6/2/2012 3:45:14 PM | | @grove.... we don't know where her brother is from or how often she sees him.... I don't care if it is a weekend or a month... if someone came to see me... I would want to spend time with them... who knows how much time between work and other actual commitments she has to spend with him.... and if someones intentions are honorable.... why couldn't her brother go along??? the post doesn't say if she moved away from family or if her family is local and the brother had moved away... he may not know anyone there... | |
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| I feel awkward, she's bringing her brother to a date...what to do
Posted: 6/2/2012 3:55:24 PM | What do you guys think? I think you need to learn about something called "paragraphs".
In spite of this, I read the wall of text. I think you're lucky she's even speaking to you after you fell prey to two of the classic dating blunders: the "let's hang out at my place and watch a movie (and have sex the first date)" move, and the needy/clingy "Four days later I call and leave a voicemail and ask her to go on a date. She does not return my phone call. Assuming I've totally bombed it, I decide to send her a text asking her "at what point she became disinterested in me".
As far as the brother coming along goes, I think that would hinge on whether or not she is the only living soul he knows in the city, and/or visiting her was his sole reason for coming to town.
If so, you come off like a d-bag for not showing some consideration for her situation. After all, she is trying to find time for you. Be a mensch and meet her brother. After all, you're still not going to have sex with her if she doesn't go out with you.
If not, I agree that he could find something else to do for a few hours while she goes on a date with you. Three's a crowd. | |
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| I feel awkward, she's bringing her brother to a date...what to do
Posted: 6/2/2012 4:06:51 PM | ~OP~ To me? What's strange. Why you even think in terms she was feeling unsafe?  And why don't you wish to meet the brother? It's not like she's bringing along two small children, it's a grown adult who's in town on vacation. I don't think the "hang at my house" thing has a thing to do with this. She's busy. She's got a life. She tried to fit in time with you and you missed the opportunity. You could have easily said, "Sure. Has your brother been to ___________? We could go there for a drink if you want." But nope. Now? You might wanna let it go. If she's still interested, she'll get in touch with you. JMO  | |
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| I feel awkward, she's bringing her brother to a date...what to do
Posted: 6/2/2012 5:20:38 PM | @grove.... we don't know where her brother is from or how often she sees him.... I don't care if it is a weekend or a month... if someone came to see me... I would want to spend time with them... who knows how much time between work and other actual commitments she has to spend with him.... and if someones intentions are honorable.... why couldn't her brother go along??? the post doesn't say if she moved away from family or if her family is local and the brother had moved away... he may not know anyone there...
I stand by my previous comments. I highly doubt going out on a date for a couple of hours would prevent you from spending time with someone who was here for 3 weeks. For the sake of argument, suppose he didn't know anyone else in town, he could have found something else to do during those couple of hours. He could read a book, watch TV or a movie among other things. | |
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| I feel awkward, she's bringing her brother to a date...what to do
Posted: 6/2/2012 7:07:47 PM | from the east
A girl would be foolish to go back to your place early anyway. Sex intended or not. She doesnt know you and that sort of invitation is premature. You could have mates there waiting or anything. I know some girls do it but only they are high or drinking I imagine. If she was so nervous she brought her brother, then why is she even bothering? Probably getting his opinion I would say. But it is a turn off and I dont see it going anywhere really. | |
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| I feel awkward, she's bringing her brother to a date...what to do
Posted: 6/2/2012 7:09:20 PM | | I don't have random women meet my family, I have to see 'potential' there to want to introduce them to my family. And if I were *really* interested in a *relationship* with a woman, I wouldn't have a problem with meeting some of her family either. | |
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saveta
| | Joined: 4/23/2012
Msg: 25 | |
| I feel awkward, she's bringing her brother to a date...what to do
Posted: 6/2/2012 7:27:45 PM | ^^^ Did she know your line "let's go back to my place and watch a movie" didn't mean sex? Just because the OP thought this when he said it, doesn't mean she thought the same thing. You need to spell some things out.
My impression from the OP's original post is of a man very insistent on meeting as soon as possible and a woman who has other things going on in her life and not enjoying the guy's insistence. Give her space. | |
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