| | Do men secretly hate being used for sexPage 1 of 7 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7) | | Okay there's this thing right, where sometimes your up for nookie, so you call up your old mate then express that. The guy is up for it. Then he acts all angry after and wierd like, now they have to act tough or something and snobby. So, do guys secretly not like just having sex like they always reckon they do. Becuase they tend to get an attitude after. What's the psychology behind that? Can't you just act like normal, don't have to get all snotty and pish posh afterwards- chill out. | |
|
| Do men secretly hate being used for sex
Posted: 6/2/2012 11:26:28 PM |
I dunno. I can't recall that ever being a problem I had to face.
I didn't have those problems either...
you won't hear me nag and complain about it :) | |
|
| |
| Do men secretly hate being used for sex
Posted: 6/2/2012 11:39:43 PM | | I think it all depends on the situation. If he is really interested in the girl, and she treats him like a one night stand, then yes it hurts. Men and women are often more alike than most care to admit. | |
|
| |
| Do men secretly hate being used for sex
Posted: 6/3/2012 12:40:01 AM | | YES! They have no issue using you for sex but when they realize that the tables have turned they do not like it. Not one bit. I think men like those enjoy being the one in control, the one whos wanted, the one who gets to call the shots and when they realize they no longer have that hold over you because you do not care either way. Well, lets just say they start behaving very "feminine" and if you think thats bad. Try not wanting to have sex with them at all after using them for sex and better yet, find someone else to have sex with. They will damn near go crazy | |
|
| Do men secretly hate being used for sex
Posted: 6/3/2012 12:52:30 AM |
YES! They have no issue using you for sex but when they realize that the tables have turned they do not like it. Not one bit. I think men like those enjoy being the one in control, the one whos wanted, the one who gets to call the shots and when they realize they no longer have that hold over you because you do not care either way.
FINALLY Someone gets what I mean! They start acting all harsh and mean, wierd aye? Like as if they didn't know from the start. | |
|
| |
| Do men secretly hate being used for sex
Posted: 6/3/2012 3:48:59 AM |
Do men secretly hate being used for sex
Yes we really really hate it.
So if you really want to get at us, phone us up and tell us you're coming around to bonk us silly and then going to leave ... WHAT! you don't want pancakes in the morning?? .... Yep, that really annoys us.
Want my phone number? | |
|
| Do men secretly hate being used for sex
Posted: 6/3/2012 4:12:33 AM | I'm a little confused by your description of things here. Not enough significant details, I expect.
I can tell you for sure, that no one of either sex enjoys being treated as though they are a used prophylactic, the moment the fun is over.
I have witnessed female friends, making the incredible mistake of thinking that they are "doing back to guys, what was done to them," by having sex, and then egotistically making it immediately clear that this was all about their sexual fun, and that they didn't care a jot about the fellow as a person. Even though no guy had actually done that to them, they only perceived it as having happened, because guys had indeed failed to live up to the woman's general fantasy expectations after.
Being as specific about that as I can, if you are having sex with men, and they ARE literally treating you like stale beer the moment after completion, then your problem is that you are purposely choosing callous, vindictive men for some reason. Figure out why you keep choosing such clods, rather than trying to do them one better.
So, what did you do or say immediately prior to these fellows acting "all angry after and wierd like"? Were you laying together, smiling, and suddenly the fellow behaves like that, or perhaps did you jump up and say "off you go there, I have serious things to do."??
If you purposely shove it in anyone's face that they are just a toy to you, man or woman, they will not take it well, unless they are some sort of masochist.
Thus, men in general, do not "secretly hate being used for sex." They are identical to women, in wanting to be wanted for themselves.
Enough of them do talk trash in public, following along with the stupid myths like "any sex is good sex," and "I'd LOVE to get used and abused by Angelina Jolie!" or whomever, that lots of women who fail to pay attention to these idiotic guys actions, might well think they are being honest, and speaking for the "tribe."
But that is all just a part of another subject for a forum discussion: reasons and causes of male bravado/BS.
Suffice it to say, I think it should be considered one of the most obvious facts, that most men are VERY sensitive about wanting to be wanted for themselves, and being told you only bothered with them because you're too lazy to get fresh batteries for your bright red Jack Rabbit vibrator, is almost guaranteed to disappoint them. In you. | |
|
| Do men secretly hate being used for sex
Posted: 6/3/2012 4:46:22 AM | I agree with Igor --
Thus, men in general, do not "secretly hate being used for sex." They are identical to women, in wanting to be wanted for themselves.
We all want to be wanted...
The connection is what makes the sex sensational, otherwise we would just spend the night in with Wodga. lol
---my Purple Rabbit has a name (and re-chargeable batteries) ; ) | |
|
| Do men secretly hate being used for sex
Posted: 6/3/2012 5:21:01 AM |
Okay there's this thing right, where sometimes your up for nookie, so you call up your old mate then express that.....Can't you just act like normal, don't have to get all snotty and pish posh afterwards- chill out.
This is the first time (that I know of) where I read that it's a female looking for one-nighters; it's usually guys who do that. I don't think that anyone appreciates knowing that they were a one night stand.
The guy can always brag that women want him because he's a stud, but (usually) the woman would get a bad reputation and then guys would look for her when they want "an easy lay". | |
|
| Do men secretly hate being used for sex
Posted: 6/3/2012 5:27:48 AM | I don't believe in using an ex for sex, if I said it was over, it's over. No calling me months later or me the same. Sex, to me is a mental, passion love situation.
I believe in making love, not having sex. Therefore if I'm trying to get over a person viseversa, there is not going to be sex.
There is a reason why a person is my ex, no matter the sex, if we broke up, then that means something else did not happen in the relationship to keep us together, I dont' care if the sex was good.
A guy won't get a call from me. | |
|
| Do men secretly hate being used for sex
Posted: 6/3/2012 6:57:30 AM |
What's the psychology behind that?
You really aren't all that informative on the interaction.
The "psychology" behind an attitude change after sex could be:
1. They want to make sure, in no uncertain terms, they have no desire to date you, do anything more than do you once or occasionally.
1a. They fear that you want a relationship now, or you are going to start manipulating for more so they are trying to display their lack of desire for you to try that.
2. They were under the impression they would get more sexually, and you didn't deliver.
3. They were under the impression it would be ongoing, and you said no.
4. Because you remained in control the entire time and they need to resume a sense of control.
5. Because you treated them like they were nothing afterwards, worth less than a human being, just a big flesh sack with a hard part.
6. You threatened to tell their wife/girlfriend.
7. They think that's what you want. Maybe they are trying to act in a way they believe you will see as "masculine," so will consider them for a repeat in the future.
8. Maybe you communicated disapproval of sex in some way, so they can either act conciliatory, or build up anger or something in case of confrontation to make it your fault so they don't feel bad, and in this case it came up as anger.
9. Because their steroids kicked in, or some other medication wore off.
10. Because you took too long and they had better shit to do.
11. Because they always act tough and snobby, but you confused them with the free sex offer thing, but afterwards they went back to their normal self or facade.
12. It wasn't very good, or you weren't very good.
13. Sex actually made them emotionally vulnerable and they have to cover it up so as not to appear weak and try to fulfill what they believe are your expectations of their behavior, and it comes across as overcompensating leading to "pish posh" tough snob behavior.
Lots more, but it's getting boring now.
oh yeah
Do men secretly hate being used for sex
Not when they want to be used for sex, and can rationalize it away as they aren't really being used for sex.
If it's a constant (constant meaning repetitive interaction, each new interaction, rather than like a timeline) thing where they are used for sex, with behavior, attitude, and communication making it impossible to rationalize it away, that their only real worth and value is for sex, when they aren't controlling the judgment of sexual value, yes. Yes they do. | |
|
| Do men secretly hate being used for sex
Posted: 6/3/2012 7:07:04 AM |
Yes we really really hate it.
So if you really want to get at us, phone us up and tell us you're coming around to bonk us silly and then going to leave ... WHAT! you don't want pancakes in the morning?? .... Yep, that really annoys us.
LOLOL
I get where the OP is coming from. When you tell the guy "thanks for the memories, you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here", they get a shocked look on their face. Is there an easier way to get them out? LOL | |
|
| Do men secretly hate being used for sex
Posted: 6/3/2012 7:51:35 AM | | There is no secret about it for me, I wont be used for sex. I have turned down women who wanted to be FWB with me. I have lost friends who wanted that level and I refused. I can be friends with a woman, I can be in a relationship with a woman, I wont go halfway. And I make it very clear. | |
|
| |
| Do men secretly hate being used for sex
Posted: 6/3/2012 8:04:47 AM |
I think it all depends on the situation. If he is really interested in the girl, and she treats him like a one night stand, then yes it hurts. Men and women are often more alike than most care to admit.
I think this hits the mark precisely. And if the person is an ex, it could hurt because - as some said - they hoped it would lead to reconciliation, or perhaps they'd gotten over you and this set them back in their progress.
Pretty much any other guy would be delighted to enjoy the NSA sex, and wouldn't have issues with it. A few may feel disgusted with themselves if they have some guilt-inducing "moral" code affecting their thinking.
Unless one of those special cases applied, I'd be all for it! | |
|
| |
| Do men secretly hate being used for sex
Posted: 6/3/2012 8:26:39 AM |
so you call up your old mate then express that. The guy is up for it. Then he acts all angry after and wierd like, now they have to act tough or something and snobby.
I think you you generalizing one man's attitude onto men in general unless you
have a few men whom you have casual sex with and hang onto the "power" in the
aftermath by not letting them get emotionally close to you and "they all" react the same way.
But I'm sure there's more to his attitude than just that you used him for sex.
Maybe you offended him in some other way.
Maybe you came off all "snotty and pish posh" afterwards and he simply reacted to you.
Sex tends to make me feel closer to a man,so I don't have to deal with that sort of fallout
because I don't enjoy having casual sex.
Why not just hook up with men you don't have a history with for casual sex instead? | |
|
| Do men secretly hate being used for sex
Posted: 6/3/2012 8:30:31 AM | I think its 50 /50
I know when I was young, young people had a lot of fun
then again, we were independant
we did not want to live with our parent, til we turned 30 lol
we went out, found jobs, and we loved sex
as for having raw, hard sex..... I would say, about half the men and women, think about it a lot, some love it, some have it!.... few admit it | |
|
| Do men secretly hate being used for sex
Posted: 6/3/2012 9:10:30 AM | Msg 5 nailed it.
The ONLY time a guy won't like being used for sex is if he has feelings for her and wants more than just sex but the feelings aren't mutual. | |
|
| Do men secretly hate being used for sex
Posted: 6/3/2012 9:21:36 AM | | I don't think the psychology is that a man secretly hates being used for sex. What is more likely going on is this: Men, immediately after sex, go into a completely different state of mind. They are a little bit tired and the "big brain" has resumed control. If they have any sense of shame -- like they have just cheated on their wife, been with a prostitute, or used someone -- the first hour after sex is when they will be feeling it the most. In the case of the old girlfriend it is more likely that after sex they have all kinds of feelings like not only have they done something stupid but they have just let somebody back into their life who had been out for a while. I wouldn't feel like I was being used for sex by an ex. More like, "Geez, how could I let her pull my strings and manipulate me like that. Stupid!" | |
|
| |
| Do men secretly hate being used for sex
Posted: 6/3/2012 9:40:32 AM | oh my...I absolutely adore your spirit!
Not being a guy it is hard for me to assume how they feel, but I will say if the guy cares for the girl and she only wanted his "member" for the eve he quite possibly could be put off.
If he doesn't have an emotional investment then he probably will enjoy your body...with you then send you promptly out the door. | |
|
Home
login 
