| | How Much ME Time Needed in RelationshipPage 1 of 2 (1, 2) | In the hunt for Mr./Miss Perfect, a lot of people say they are looking for someone to grow old with, a lifetime partner and all the rest of it. Bur for people who have been on their own for a while who can come and go as they please without explanation, people don’t want to feel smothered when they find a close-enough-to-perfection partner. After the honeymoon phase, how much Me or Alone time, a girl’s night out/a boys night out time do you need? What part of single life do you want to maintain?
When you have your alone time or a night out with the girls/guys without the partner, are text messages from the partner off limits during your Me time? | |
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| How Much ME Time Needed in Relationship
Posted: 6/3/2012 6:05:57 PM | | That's so personal.. It's going to vary person to person, with each relationship. I like to spend a lot of time with my man. Can't speak for how much time others need. when I need ME time I just say so and I go out with my friends or do something for myself. I think as long as you are comfortable with the amount of time spent, then you will be ok. | |
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| How Much ME Time Needed in Relationship
Posted: 6/3/2012 6:09:34 PM | Does it really matter what anybody thinks about this other than your own lifetime partner?
Just hypothetically speaking, it's a stupid question outside of that relationship. If it really bothers you, now, you're likely going to wind up spending your alone time in a padded cell.
Just sayin' | |
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| How Much ME Time Needed in Relationship
Posted: 6/3/2012 6:11:11 PM | | That depends on the person Im with and what their wants/needs are. I can feel smothered by someone that wants too much of my personal time, and not needed enough by someone too relaxed. Your question is a catch 22 for me and has already caused me problems in relationships. I need to fix my picker cause I seem to find the jealous types that want a major commitment. Then theres ones that dont care enough to even return a phone call for days, but expect me to be home waiting when they do. I enjoy several hours a day to do what ever it is I want. Whether pampering myself, or going out for a drink with friends I need that time. | |
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| How Much ME Time Needed in Relationship
Posted: 6/3/2012 6:32:05 PM | Well it depends on the person rather or not they want t0 receive text from their mate. However, me I'm not sure if I want my mate to text me. If he did, it better be something good that i can't wait to get home to. Other wise, no need to check up on me.
Now vise versa, if I'm out and I text my mate and say hey, things going good, love you and see ya soon. Then ok, but don't be texting me off an on if I'm out having a good time. | |
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| How Much ME Time Needed in Relationship
Posted: 6/3/2012 6:48:57 PM | The aspects that make up an individual relationship are negotiated. You mow the lawn, I wash the dishes. You go fishing I go visit my friends.
There is no book on a how to, each relationship will be different depending on the needs and wants of the two individuals. | |
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| How Much ME Time Needed in Relationship
Posted: 6/3/2012 7:03:34 PM | | Oh.....it also helps to actually KNOW the person pretty well before getting into a relationship. Then you're usually somewhat familiar with their regular activities, hobbies, etc. If you don't know the person that well, there's going to be extended negotiations.......haha. | |
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| How Much ME Time Needed in Relationship
Posted: 6/3/2012 7:10:23 PM | I need a lot of ME time... so I picked a very successful man who worked a lot.
In a word: perfect
least it is for me ! Those who want or need constant togetherness this will not work for !
text each other when out? are you kidding me?
lol | |
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| How Much ME Time Needed in Relationship
Posted: 6/3/2012 7:20:10 PM | | As much me time as it takes. I've been living on my own for a while now, so it would be hard to give up my "me" time. Last relationship, he didn't understand the concept of "me" time and got pissed when I mentioned it. | |
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| How Much ME Time Needed in Relationship
Posted: 6/3/2012 7:45:25 PM | We all need our own time and space, but I have found this differs from relationship to relationship. I prefer to spend most free time together but we both work a lot and have other committments (elderly parents, kids,etc..) It is a growing experience to attempt to blend our familiies and individual responsibilities.
Last weekend, I was pouting because he was going away with his buddies fishing on my weekend off. I got over it --we discussed it and agreed to take each others schedules and needs into consideration more fully in the future. I was being selfish because I needed more from him, but he had no idea until I told him so. I need to remember that he cannot read my mind. Ultimately I am glad that we can talk about our concerns and this goes a long way towards security and being a team. | |
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| How Much ME Time Needed in Relationship
Posted: 6/3/2012 7:59:46 PM | I enjoy my own company.
I also enjoy time with others.
When I need time for me, work or when I am out with my friends
there better be a darn good reason for text messages being sent. | |
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| How Much ME Time Needed in Relationship
Posted: 6/3/2012 8:58:46 PM | I'm not into girls/boys night out, I wouldn't want to date anyone who goes out drinking and whatever they do, no strip club guys for me, etc. I've never been to a male strip club and I won't ever be going, I would want a man to feel the same way, just a ridiculous thing to me, if you aren't looking for trouble then you just don't go where trouble is, is how I feel. My idea of needing space is more having my run of the house, TV, etc., when I want to be with myself, and I expect him to have his space, a house with 2 TVs would be needed. lol It's not that I mind a man being there, it's that I do not want to be joined at the hip, maybe he has a shop or a man cave, and maybe I have TV room where I can watch what I want without him pissing & moaning about my taste in TV shows. I like to feel relaxed in my own space and not have to explain or be interrupted, unless of course he likes the same show I'm watching, I'm not against cuddling and watching.
So I guess that's it, I don't like to have to explain why it takes me 2 hours to shop or why I like a show or a computer site and I like to relax & enjoy. And then there's the fact that I like to sleep alone...that tends to cause problems in a relationship. | |
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| How Much ME Time Needed in Relationship
Posted: 6/4/2012 6:38:47 AM | I need a LOT of "me time". I do a lot of reading and writing for work, and when Im in the middle of something I'll even turn my phone off. I can spend days happily by myself doing that, and I really hate being interrupted. To be honest, I'm can also be sorta grumpy sometimes. Even though I've learnt enough to control my moods, I still prefer to be alone when I'm in a bad one, rather than resist the urge to say something snippy.
Ha ha, that makes me sound totally undateable. I'm actually not, and can also be a lot of fun, when the time is right. I've had two long term relationships. The first was with a man who would get even more absorbed in stuff than I would. That worked really well, and it was nice to have someone around. The second guy I never lived with, and so the times I would see him would be specific "not me" time, and so I would be in the mood to hang out. That worked pretty good too.
I think that second type is the kind Im looking for at the moment. I don't really see the need to share a house with the person I'm seeing, Ive always found the whole "family home" set up a little suffocating, and that was true even when I was a kid. | |
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| How Much ME Time Needed in Relationship
Posted: 6/4/2012 10:16:11 AM | I seem to require more me time than most, which has been a problem in the past. I dated some men who assumed I was cheating on them or who got angry simply because I wanted to be alone at home and read a book 
One of the things I look for in a man is how much alone time can he tolerate? Is he comfortable in his own skin without constant stimulation from others? Guys who need a steady flow of contact from me, always calling, texting, wanting to spend every waking minute together.. make me freakin' mental. I'm a bit of a loner I guess, I like to be alone with my thoughts quite a bit and tend to do better with those who are a bit similar. | |
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| How Much ME Time Needed in Relationship
Posted: 6/4/2012 10:36:00 AM | | I'm in a blended family right now so during the week we either have one or two kids with us and then on the weekend we either have both kids or no kids at all. There isn't much time for "Me Time" there and I think my partner is in the same frame of mind that when we don't have the kids that's "Us Time" that we both look forward to. When it's just us we don't feel the constant need for idle chatter. We are perfectly content in doing our own thing. I also work from home so I have a little too much "Me Time". If he wants to go out and do his own thing he's welcome to it without the guilt trip or resentment, me personally I like having him around and miss him when he's not. | |
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| How Much ME Time Needed in Relationship
Posted: 6/4/2012 10:40:59 AM | | Even during the honeymoon stage I think it's important to not be consumed fully by the relationship. If you're craving Me Time, then perhaps the relationship is also progressing more quickly than is comfortable. | |
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| How Much ME Time Needed in Relationship
Posted: 6/4/2012 5:12:58 PM |
After the honeymoon phase, how much Me or Alone time, a girl’s night out/a boys night out time do you need? What part of single life do you want to maintain?
Personally this subject quickly comes to a head during this so called "honeymoon phase". It's also one of the reasons many "potential" relationships never get very far. I'm a simple man, and my "needs" are few and far between, including how much time I "have" to spend with my significant other. Many fems consider my actions as not "caring" or not "caring enough" which is far from the truth.
I do NEED my alone time which is basically outside. Because I have to deal with people all day,everyday,problem solving, babysitting,organizing, etc thru my work, there are many days when the phone gets shut OFF, and I have to hide out with the critters outside. Outside in my garden(though I'm willing to let others come help me weed). Outside on my rivers or lakes(able to share this with a WILLING parnter). Or just outside,hiking(walking) away from this ratrace I deal with Monday to Friday.
Like I said, my lifestyle and what I "do" is part of me, and is not hidden from anyone willing to try and get close to me. They either like it, or leave(like the majority). No arguments from me. | |
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| How Much ME Time Needed in Relationship
Posted: 6/4/2012 10:27:40 PM | I find this an interesting question. I myself have always set up the rules before I got into the relationship. I never answer my phone on the first ring, or answer my text right away, nor do I respond a.s.a.p. to an email or voice message. If it is something I need to respond to a family emergency? Then yes. otherwise it will wait until I can get around to it.
My own personal alone time? Is a privilege to have. I work with people all day, and when I get my chance to be alone I LOVE it! If he wants his alone time? All the better! I have a friend that told me he wanted to text every other day instead of daily! I said sure! that night he texted me. I said " I thought we were going to text every other day"? It was his rule, his request, his chance to be alone so why was he texting me?
If someone wants to be alone, leave them alone. Some people retreat to find clarity. Others need space because it gives them a chance to regroup and rethink and analyze things. And there is nothing wrong with that either. The friend I was talking about happens to need his alone time . I have always given it to him in which he always returns to me . I don't even question it. I have more than enough here to keep me busy while he's away and I don't have time to feel lonely with the kind of job I have and my children . So take alllllllllllllllllll the time you need!
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| How Much ME Time Needed in Relationship
Posted: 6/4/2012 10:57:45 PM | Whoa, this one really hits home because I am so good with my alone time with the girls. I couldn't imagine a man being upset with me because I wanted to hang with them for a bit. Can you text..sure I guess it is ok if you THINK SOMETHING IS WRONG...otherwise why are you bothering me?
Having said that, I won't be going to a club with the girls. I have no business in an atmosphere where people mingle to get their Jingle on. If I am going to be in that kind of place I should be with my guy. This is only a general rule, of course. I know that sometimes circumstance like bachelorette parties happen, but that is a rarity. There are many other things I can be doing with them, when I want to see my friends, that don't include a place where single men are out looking for women. I wouldn't put myself or our relationship in jeapordy like that.
The same goes for the man in my life. If he wants to go fishing with eddie...go. If he wants to go to a ball game with Mark then have fun. If he wants to golf with Ted, enjoy your day.
What part of single life do you want to maintain?
None. If you are in a relationship, you are not single.
Neither of us needs to make a habit of hanging out with others without our significant other...after all, my friends nor Eddie, Mark and Ted, are the ones warming our bed at night. You should spend as much time with your partner as time allows. Most of our days are spent at work so time together is valuable.
This, by-the-way....is just how I feel. | |
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| How Much ME Time Needed in Relationship
Posted: 6/4/2012 11:10:23 PM | My "me" time is achieved by going hunting, its always been the thing i do when i need to think and contemplate and generally just escape from the world.
I've had some of my greatest epiphanies while sat waiting for a ferret to do its work | |
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| How Much ME Time Needed in Relationship
Posted: 6/5/2012 12:21:13 AM | | Well, I need a whole lot more "me" time than any woman has ever felt comfortable with, so I don't see myself as good relationship material. If you are anything like me, It's best to be honest with yourself and others and just stay single. | |
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| How Much ME Time Needed in Relationship
Posted: 6/5/2012 4:20:57 AM | Goodness, I needs mah "metime"....always have. Seems I've almost always worked in areas that required lots of interactions with other folks almost constantly throughout the day. Solitude, quiet, long walks in the woods always sort of "brings me back". I bought the little place I live in now for a get-away when I lived with my last love...and mostly, it was where I got away to by myself or with a close friend....a way to nurture self.
In relationship, it's more about the quality of time shared in partnership....because, that way, we each get to maintain the "me" time while acknowledging the good stuff we have with each other. Quality time doesn't have to be most of the days we have off but more like a solid couple of hours out of a weekend remembering why we've chosen to be together.....the rest is just the sweetness of day-to-day moving around each other/sharing home projects/incidentals/affection as we move about the house/reading the Sunday paper/watching a movie in the evening after we're back from me heading this way, he heading that. :) | |
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