| | Ex tries to keep contact with mePage 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | I'm usually the voice of reason amongst my friends and family. However, I've not managed to figure this out. Any help?
My ex boyfriend and I split 8 months ago. He was a very angry person and things hadn't been going well for a while and he actually broke up with me, explaining that he didn't want to go through this anymore.
So, he didn't text me for a couple of months, which is fine by me. But as of lately, I'd say the past 2 months or so, he texts me at least twice a week, trying to spark up a conversation. He asks how I am and what I've been up to. But then he proceeds to tell me all about his life, without me even asking him. Because I really don't care. He tells me how he's living on his own now and he's dating an 'adult entertainer' and she has a kid and his life is So different.
Like he expects me to care.
Is he trying to make me jealous or make his life seem like he's fine and better without me?
But at the same time, if he was truly happy, why would he be texting me in the first place? He obviously doesn't need me.
What's his deal? | |
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| Ex tries to keep contact with me
Posted: 6/4/2012 11:23:36 AM | He's still an angry person...........he's bored.
Hard as it may be....don't respond. PLEASE dont'!! He sounds really sad......anyone with the need to let an "ex" know what's going on when they aren't asking?
Hmmm.........think about that.
Continue being the voice of reason and let this situation go..............hard as it may be. You won't get far with "angry". | |
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| Ex tries to keep contact with me
Posted: 6/4/2012 11:25:55 AM | Oh it's not hard for me Not to respond. I can't stand the guy and I'm debating changing my number so he'll just disappear and I'll never have to hear from him again.
I just wanted some insight on the issue at hand here. | |
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| Ex tries to keep contact with me
Posted: 6/4/2012 11:27:36 AM | I don't want to sound cruel here OP. But does it matter what his deal is?
As I read your thread I felt one thing then it turned into another thought when you said he was dating someone else and told you this.
This is where you take a step back and look at the situation with a clearer view...
You are not his friend.
You are not his confidant.
You are not his sibling or his mother.
You are an ex-girlfriend.
The mere fact that he is dating someone who has introduced her child to him, makes me believe that to "her" this is more than casual dating. He knows this and yet is contacting you or a regular basis. This is a form of cheating.
He is showing his character to you. What will you do with this information? I have no idea but I do hope you find yourself a nice man to date, or go rock climbing...it is less dangerous than wrecking your emotions with this man. | |
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| Ex tries to keep contact with me
Posted: 6/4/2012 11:29:55 AM | | I posted a similar question on here today..read the answers Im getting. My story is about 4 yrs old..YOU'LL be asking the same question in 4 yrs time...! They like to play with your heartstring...its just a game to them..do what everyone else is telling me; IGNORE HIM! | |
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| Ex tries to keep contact with me
Posted: 6/4/2012 11:30:33 AM | | Who cares, stop answering him if you really don't want to have contact with him, doesn't sound like you want to remain friends so? If you were 100% over him you wouldn't give a toot about his motivations. | |
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| Ex tries to keep contact with me
Posted: 6/4/2012 11:32:26 AM | As I've stated, I can't stand the guy.
I was merely asking, just to get some opinions and ideas as to why he feels the need to contact me.
I'm not hurt by it. I'm glad he's 'doing well'. It just didn't make sense as to if he's so happy, why is he trying to have conversation with myself? That's all. | |
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| Ex tries to keep contact with me
Posted: 6/4/2012 11:35:31 AM | Your last post doesn't sound the same as your first one.
Get over yourself and stop posting about things you ultimately say you don't care about? How does that sound? | |
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| Ex tries to keep contact with me
Posted: 6/4/2012 11:37:31 AM | You have no obligation whatsoever to reply to him... End of discussion, literally.
To answer your question, HE can't move on. He doesnt want you to forget him and needs to still be connected whether it be a good connection or bad. He wants you to be jealous that he has moved on - although he really hasn't.. My ex husband does the same thing. He's an alcoholic, bored, retired and can't let go so occasionally he sends me emails giving me weather updates or dumb joke emails. Very sad. | |
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| Ex tries to keep contact with me
Posted: 6/4/2012 11:42:45 AM | Well some just want to be friends which never made any sense to me. How do you downgrade from passionate sex to friends?
But the men who have wanted to continue a friendship with me after breaking up either want to continue sex even when they are in a new relationhip or keep me on the back burner for the possibility of getting back together in the future. | |
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| Ex tries to keep contact with me
Posted: 6/4/2012 11:48:04 AM | Just don't accept his calls/texts.
You say you don't care... just don't take the calls.
But you do.
So my question is "what's YOUR deal?"
edit: I know this is all about wondering what's really behind him doing this.
Um... why do you care what's behind it? | |
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saveta
| | Joined: 4/23/2012
Msg: 14 | |
| Ex tries to keep contact with me
Posted: 6/4/2012 11:48:37 AM | I don't quite get this sort of stuff either. My ex, after a rather acrimonious breakup, turned up nearly a year later to tell me he was enrolling in further education. I said, that's nice, but why are you telling me this, because actually I couldn't care less. I didn't hear from him again, until about a month ago when he rang me on my cell phone. I wasn't available to answer it, but recognized the number. I've heard on the grapevine that he's doing the course he said he was enrolling in. So why tell me? I lost interest in him years ago.
Re: your ex. Don't engage in any texting with him, and, ideally, block his number.
Hopefully both your ex and mine will get the message and move on.
Thinks... His deal might be similar to my ex's. I suspect they look upon us as some sort of mother substitute and want us to congratulate them on the little "prizes" in their lives. A sort of, "Look Mum, no hands" type of thing. Good grief. | |
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| Ex tries to keep contact with me
Posted: 6/4/2012 11:50:09 AM |
I was merely asking, just to get some opinions and ideas as to why he feels the need to contact me.
I'm not hurt by it. I'm glad he's 'doing well'. It just didn't make sense as to if he's so happy, why is he trying to have conversation with myself? That's all.
He's basically trying to let you know he's doing "so much" better without you.
Immature to say the least.Obviously,his ego is still bruised over the break up.
Don't stroke IT or anything else of his by continuing to communicate with him
unless it strokes YOUR ego to have him contacting you. | |
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| Ex tries to keep contact with me
Posted: 6/4/2012 11:51:52 AM |
What's his deal?
What's yours?
Why do you keep answering his calls/texts? If you didn't like the attention you would tell him don't call you anymore and block him. He's still renting space in your head. Evict him already. | |
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| Ex tries to keep contact with me
Posted: 6/4/2012 12:01:00 PM | I think you do care, actually... and I give kudos for him to make you jealous (in a sense). Enough to care. To hear what's going on. As you said, you're 'happy' for him, etc. You reply, which is why he texts you. Not that you're oh-so into him.... but you're not in any predicament or any "what do I do?!" situation by any stretch.
Is he trying to make me jealous or make his life seem like he's fine and better without me?
Those are both the same. Your life being great and/or better without you is the best form of applying the jealousy factor.
But at the same time, if he was truly happy, why would he be texting me in the first place? He obviously doesn't need me. What's his deal?
What's your deal continuing communication with him? It's not like he was too much of a Nice Guy, and you dumped him and you feel bad for him and it's been been just 8 weeks, not 8 months. Come on! :) He wants you as at least an option to get back (at some point?). Just don't respond. Ever. Problem solved. His texts will cease, and at worst, you'll get a couple texts over a few years. Whoo hoo. | |
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| Ex tries to keep contact with me
Posted: 6/4/2012 12:14:29 PM | simply do not respond, or better yet, block his number..
sooner or later he will go away.
He is like the playground bully. If you show that his actions effect you the bullying will continue. If you ignore him he will eventually get bored and stop.
As to why he is still contacting you. I bet its his bruised ego. He thinks by dating an adult entertainer he is moved on to better things and wants to rub your nose in it. When its obviously a step down in the dating scale. | |
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| Ex tries to keep contact with me
Posted: 6/4/2012 12:18:33 PM | I once read an article on this very thing.
A lot of men(that's what the article was on) like to keep in contact with their exes...Apparently, it has to do with keeping their options open and "you" as an ex....did care for them at one time and accepted them....somehow, feel you want to remain a friend...they can confide in...I wouldn't or couldn't do that!
I have seen this with a few of my friends(men and women)....the need to keep contact with exes...why???
It seems to me....more so, when there are still feelings or maybe a "hope" for something to spark again....like a back up plan....depending on who dropped who.
Yes...the opposite of "love" is "indifference".....If you don't care to hear anything about his escapades....tell him so!
If he doesn't get it...block him...or whatever it takes! | |
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| Ex tries to keep contact with me
Posted: 6/4/2012 12:26:25 PM | | Yes He is totally trying to make you jealous... Yes He wants you to believe his life is better but if it was He wouldn't even think of texting you to tell you about it. | |
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| Ex tries to keep contact with me
Posted: 6/4/2012 12:40:20 PM | | It could be one of several reasons. To make you jealous is one possibility. Maybe his current relationship isnt working out so he is trying to test the waters with you. The bottom line is you are not interested in him or his life. Just ignore him and eventually he should get the hint and go away. | |
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| Ex tries to keep contact with me
Posted: 6/4/2012 1:02:05 PM | sorry to say but he probably misses the sex and probably hoping he will spark up some feelings in your mind that you go for and do the umm unspoken whilst in a relationship with his new gf.
sorry to be so blunt but thats how i see it
best advice is to just ignore him he will stop. also with some carriers you can block up to 5 numbers without any charges just call customer service and see if they offer and if so just have his number blocked so you dont have to go through the hassel of a number change and having to give everyone your new number | |
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tjl503
| | Joined: 9/29/2011
Msg: 24 | |
| Ex tries to keep contact with me
Posted: 6/4/2012 4:54:05 PM | Be very blunt with him and tell him that you don't give a shit about how he's doing and to delete your number. That you don't care about his disease infested adult entertainer girlfriend and if he's so happy why is he trying to get in touch with you. We're not friends, please respect my wishes and don't try to get in touch with me again.
Why would you change your number over this? That would be very inconvenient for you. If he continues to text you tell him that you're calling the cops if he messages you again and follow through if he does. A phone call by the cops would scare his butt into deleting your number.
My ex texted me and I texted her back this. "I'm sorry but the person you have tried to call has moved on and suggests you do the same. Please delete this number. If you feel you have reached this message in error, f*ck you, you didn't. Goodbye. | |
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| Ex tries to keep contact with me
Posted: 6/4/2012 7:46:34 PM |
My ex texted me and I texted her back this. "I'm sorry but the person you have tried to call has moved on and suggests you do the same. Please delete this number. If you feel you have reached this message in error, f*ck you, you didn't. Goodbye.
That is hilarious!!
But my advise to the OP still stands. Don't text him back or otherwise engage him in any way. You are only playing into his hand if you do. Just simply ignore him as if he doesn't exist.
At one time, someone I regretfully dated still tries to engage me with the occasional text. I would respond with a 'please leave me alone'. But he would still try to initiate a conversation, either with nasty remarks or with a simple hello. Now, nothing he can say or do will invoke any kind of response from me. Yes he is annoying. Like a pesky mosquito, but whatever. The texts are now less frequent and sooner or later he will tire of the non-response and go away. | |
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