| | Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!Page 1 of 5 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) | My mom has always been a bit of a flirt, but in the last few months she's been AWFUL competitive with me. We went bowling and there is this guy that I like that might be in his thirties. I've always been in to older guys and my mother knows this. She came to the bowling alley and was flirting with him big time and I leaned in and told her, "Hey mom, I really like that guy, can you maybe not flirt with this one?" And she's trying to play it off, "Oh no he was flirting with me blah blah blah." Then I went to the lake and she has this ridiculous bikini on that a girl MY age should be wearing. She was sporting milf status. Then I was looking at my feet and I said, "I love my feet, they are the best!" in a joking manner and she literally starts comparing saying hers are better.
I signed her up for POF so she might be able to finally keep a husband. So a young kid my age is after her for sex. I'm typing everything for her keep in mind. I asked her what she wanted to say and I said, "Say hey, you're a little too young for me..." She cuts me off and says, "No don't say that!" I said, "Mom... I know you like the ego trip but if you keep talking to him he's going to keep messaging you." Then she got pissed and called me a "Daddy looker?" And I got mad and said, "listen I like older men, and I GO after older men, you on the other hand are seriously on milf status right now. You aren't sexually active. Are you REALLY going to bring some 24 year old to church? Because I've already brought a man in his fourties to church because I don't f'ing care, YOU on the other hand care way too much about what people think."
What do I do? This is such an awkward situation!!?? | |
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| Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/6/2012 8:00:54 PM | this is a real problem where the age gap between mother and daughter is small.
to be fair, if she wants to bring a 24 year old you must respect that decision, as she would you | |
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| Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/6/2012 8:03:27 PM | | Oh I told her I don't care, I just want her to be happy. But the thing is she never will. She's too narrow-minded for anything like that. But she's just go competitive. It's like... She's trying to tell me, "I may be 50 but I can have any man you want." That's how it feels.... | |
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| Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/6/2012 8:07:05 PM | Sounds like mom is going through a mid life crisis. Maybe she misses being young and is trying to have fun in life again.
Don't compare man notes, don't involve yourself in her pof account or her dating life at this time.
Simple. Live your life and she can do the same. Sooner or later she will figure things out. | |
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| Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/6/2012 8:11:18 PM | | Maybe you shouldn't socialize with your mother so much. Don't you have a life of your own? Let her make a fool of herself all by herself. Don't talk to her about men. If she brings it up, change the subject or leave the room. Or simply tell her you refuse to get involved in it. It seems to me that all you're doing now is encouraging her and enabling her. | |
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| Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/6/2012 8:13:22 PM | | Maybe I should leave her alone... She just has horrible horrible computer skills and I though online dating would let her focus in and not be so pressured. She doesn't do well dating for several reasons. And maybe she is going through a mid-life It just hurts my feelings. Especially since she called me a daddy looker, wherever she heard that from. | |
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| Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/6/2012 8:16:59 PM | | OP: at 21 years old, you shouldn't need to be on dating sites. Mingle with people, and guys will be coming out of the woodwork looking for dates. | |
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| Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/6/2012 8:17:52 PM | | Well I'm actually very picky. I've been on quite a few dates and met some great people. I've been currently hanging out with someone I met on here for a month and a half. Thanks for your concern though. | |
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| Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/6/2012 8:25:09 PM | I'm with Scotty on this one. You have to break away from her when it comes to stuff like this.
Like, going to the beach with your little swimsuits on? Maybe do that with your pals, not your mom. | |
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| Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/6/2012 8:31:21 PM | One of my ex-girlfriend's mom was like that. She was only 19 years older than my ex-girlfriend and she looked very young for her age. My ex was almost a spitting image of her except for having lighter hair and being of fairer skin (her mom loved to tan) so a lot of people thought she was her older sister.
This was very unsettling for me because I can remember her always trying to show me all her new mini dresses, shorts, and heels and trying to model them for me. It was bizarre...
So I basically gave you absolutely no advice on how to deal with the situation at hand and I am sorry...I just had some weirdo deja vu reading though this thread. | |
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| Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/6/2012 8:34:00 PM |
this is a real problem where the age gap between mother and daughter is small.
This would be inexcusable even if the age difference was 16 years but in this case it's 29 years age difference...unless you meant it's relatively the same difference in age upward for the OP and downward for the mother of a man they're both interested in.
You can't stop doing things with your mother altogether but I'd suggest putting flirting with anyone on hold while you're out with her, no matter how hawt you might think a guy is. If she doesn't notice you eyeballing someone, there won't be anything for her to compete with you about. Save it for when you're out with your peers. Chances are they won't be as interested in the older guys the way you are and you'll have no competition to pursue them.
I'd also stop assisting your mom with her dating life. If she hasn't figured out how to do it on her own at her age, it's about time she did. | |
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| Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/6/2012 9:14:01 PM |
I've been currently hanging out with someone I met on here for a month and a half. Thanks for your concern though.
Shhhhhhhhhhh. Hush child, don't tell anyone about us... Most of em at church still think I'm there w your mom... | |
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| Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/6/2012 9:22:40 PM | She barely knows how to turn on a computer I would bet my life she doesn't even know what "forums" are. And YES my mom loves to tan too. I invite her to come bowl or to the lake every now and then because my little sister doesn't do anything but sit at home. My dad doesn't live here but when he's in town I spend every day with him. I just think a relationship with my parents are important. This has started happening in the last few months! I mean she was just a flirt awhile ago, no harm. On my 21st she came and was literally dancing up on my boyfriend crotch and I thought, "Whatever, she's flirting." But as of late It's become a problem.
And yes I'm going to stop inviting her. It's awkward seeing the guy I like at the bowling alley and she flirts a storm up with him. I just stay calm and smile at him, normal talk. She comes off as CRAZY social sometimes and I know she's just digging herself a hole. | |
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| Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/6/2012 10:04:24 PM | OP:
My daughter is 24 and gorgeous. We both have different looks. I am proud to hang out with her. She is in one of my profile pics too.
We do almost everything together and love being around one another. I am single and fun and lively and energetic and up until last year, I went out more than she did. We have one line that we have fun drawing...and that is going out together unless it is a special occasion. She will text me and tell me if she and her friends are coming where I am and I will get the heck out. The same goes for me. If I am heading in her direction with friends I text her. We have fun with it and have even passed each other on the road going out.
Her friends, my friends...they try to get us to party together...now way. Not a good idea. In the world of single men..we stay far away from one another.
Just to let you know the reason we are this way is because MY mom was gorgeous and she was always going after my boyfriends, friends. It was very embarrassing. I once showed up at a "Hopeful" boyfriends place when I was 20 and my mom was in the back room shagging his best friend. He never talked to me again. I will never forget what that felt like and won't come close to anything.... that could embarrass my own daughter. | |
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| Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/6/2012 10:10:07 PM | What do I do? This is such an awkward situation!!??
A blue haired 21 year old who works with blood and is armed with an SKS rifle. With a mom draped in a bikini while fighting over the same men.
I'm not sure if your problems will work out, but I gotta be honest, if this was a sitcom plot, I'd watch it every week.
( Probably safe answer is "boundaries" Doesn't sound like you and your mom have a great boundaries with each other and maybe for her, not great ones in general. There are lots of books on the subject, might be worth investing in a few and maybe giving one or two to your mom. Might help your relationship with her actually as well. Best of luck. P.S. You've got spunk, I'll give you that. I'm pretty sure a zombie apocalypse would never happen, if it did, I'm pretty sure you'd survive and rule the rest of the known world. ) | |
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| Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/6/2012 11:15:19 PM | | Your mom needs a dose of confidence and she is using men to get that, although that is not an effective way to get her self esteem up. She should go to gym, join a meet up group of her choice. Take a class in something she is interested in. Men tend to challenge everything and their treatment of women is unstable. Men cannot give her the stability she seeks. She needs to challenge herself in other areas such as classes or working out and in areas that are more reliable. Stay out of her business and stop being her parent. Hang out with your own friends, not your mom. | |
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| Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/6/2012 11:21:57 PM | Thank you, that is the most useful advice I haven't gotten.
And your story about your mom having sex with your hopeful boyfriends friend... I can relate. My sister had a crush when she was little on a guy. A few years later she ended up having a miscarriage... His kids. Broke my sisters heart. I don't want that to happen to me. I would kill her. | |
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| Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/6/2012 11:40:55 PM | Wow--my youngest daughter is 21 and I would never consider hitting on anyone she likes --EVER--heck when I was growing up if a friend liked a guy you just steered clear of him --so I cant imagine a mom acting like this.
My daughter has some male friends who kid with me that they want to date me etc--but no one takes it seriously and they arent guys she is interested in as more than friends--when I split up with my ex and changed my relationship status one of them said he was now officially hitting on me and everyone thought it was cute cause it is more a crush than anything real--you might suggest that your mom talk to someone otherwise someone or quite a few guys will have a field day with her ego! | |
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| Mom Is 50 and Is Competitive with me?!
Posted: 6/7/2012 2:07:30 AM | | Stop it this is ridiculous, if you're mom if 50 and can get a 30 year old then good for her. Your logic makes no sense since you like older guys she should too, so she go after a 77 year old. People are not property you can't claim a guy to be yours just because you have a crush on him. Even if it's your mom it's not your decision to keep someone from someone just because you have a crush or whatever. If you're m0m is attracting the same guys you like then don't bring her around, don't tell her where you're going when you're out. All is fair in love and war, if this was a 50 year old male going after a 30 year old female it wouldn't it be such a big deal. | |
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